This is just a short frivolous piece I thought up while scrubbing out the shower (mmm, bleach fumes!) Apologies to all those who adore Darien, or maintain to the point of futility that Serena's not really all THAT stupid. Don't flame me too much, I know it's a bit harsh in places. I don't own Sailor Moon, I never will, don't sue, I have no money, and I'm in training to be a electrical engineer so if you're mean I'll zap you with my big evil electrical circuits like I zapped my tutor last week in our transformers practical. AhahahahAHAAHAHHA!!!!! Azure Annege Rating: If you're offended by the word 'poop' you'd better leave. :) *************************** Serena and the Wish Crystal *************************** *THE NEGAVERSE* Queen Beryl of the Negaverse was in a whimsical mood. (Well, perhaps 'whimsical' isn't exactly the right word, since she's a down right nasty piece of work who just happens to be second in command of a really quite evil dimension... Just imagine 'whimsical' and modify to fit.) She was toying with an idea that she'd been working on for a while. You see, since Beryl is the boss around these parts, she's got control of a bunch of special resources that our Universe doesn't really know about. One of these consists of some crystals that will grant the user wishes - but only if the user is from our universe. (The creator of these crystals made them this way originally because he was a little peeved at Miss Beryl - and by the time she'd calmed down from her rage at being unable to utilise them, she'd inadvertently obliterated him.) Now Beryl knew that Sailor Moon was a ditz and an idiot. Maybe, just maybe, if she gave Sailor Moon one of these crystals, she'd wish something like ridiculous like 'I wish everyone could have ice cream for dinner always' and cause malnutrition to the point of crisis and major economic upheaval in the Universe. While everyone was sick or trying to buy up shares in ice cream companies etc. the Negaverse could come in and take over largely unopposed. Of course she'd have to program the crystal so that it couldn't cause harm to her, but that was no problem. "Zoicite! ZOICITE where are you?!?!" Beryl screeched. "Yes, my queen. What are your wishes?" 'argh! I'm so sick of following this megalomaniac...' "Do you know how to program wish crystals?" 'uh oh, failed that subject, but it's bad to say no to Beryl... umm I'll just get some help for Malachite later...' "Of course! Every negaverse general knows how to program those!" "Good - then you shall program this one to block any wishes that would harm me or my plans to conquer the Universe. I want it back in an hour, do you understand me?" "Negaverse time or Universe time?" "Negaverse time! Zoicite! NEVER QUESTION ME!!!!" 'Silly cow' Zoicite thought as she left the room and promptly went to finish the macrame (*1) she had been working on when so rudely interrupted. *later that day* "Zoicite! ZOICITE where are you?!?!" Beryl screeched. "Yes, my queen. What are your wishes?" 'argh! Deja vu!!! Why do I feel like I've done this already today.. oh crap, that crystal...' "Have you finished with that crystal?" "Of course," lied Zoicite (proficiently - you'd just have no time for yourself if you did EVERYTHING Beryl asked you to, and you'd be REALLY dumb not to lie well about it), fishing the crystal out of her dimensional pocket. "Here." The crystal floated through the space between them and Beryl snatched it out of the air. "Good, good... you may go now." "What are you going to do with it anyway?" "Zoicite! NEVER QUESTION ME!!!!" 'oh, _fine_' thought Zoicite, 'she's on a power trip again,' as she went back to her macrame yet again. *A PARK IN TOKYO* The Sailor Scouts were trying to dust off another pesky youma. Only Sailor Moon was left standing, which is probably a really bad thing since she's so clumsy and all, and also that tuxy boy is nowhere to be seen. The rest of the Scouts, being exhausted, unconsciously detransfomed while lying on the grass. As Sailor Moon finished her scepter waving and miraculously, the youma disintegrated, a small shiny object fell to the ground. Sailor Moon went to pick it up. It was a small crystal teardrop, only about the size of her smallest fingernail, and it hung from a very fine silver chain. 'Oh, it's so pretty!' thought Sailor Moon as she clasped it around her neck. "Ahahahaahha! You're MINE now, Sailor Moon!" screeched Beryl, appearing as an apparition before her in the night sky. "Oh sorry, wrong speech," she muttered. "I mean, have a NICE time with your new present, Sailor Moon." 'She's crazy,' thought Sailor Moon. "What do you mean?" she yelled at the image in the sky. "It's one of my wish crystals. It will grant you anything you desire - anything that does not directly harm me or my plans. It's been programmed not to let you do THAT, of course. AHAHAHAHAhahahaahh!!!!" Beryl faded slowly from view, her evil cackle hanging in the cool night air. 'Hmm, a wish crystal, huh? What to do with this?' Serena, now detransformed, knelt puzzled over the crystal teardrop. She was wondering about the 'programming' that Beryl had mentioned. Now Serena knew that Beryl wouldn't do anything herself, I mean, why go to all the trouble when you have all these powerful minions to do it for you? She also knew that the minions in question were hopeless incompetents and couldn't manage the simplest of tasks. Therefore... the crystal probably hadn't been programmed properly... "I wish that Beryl would never cause any trouble again, but be sealed forever in her Negaverse" A distant echo sounded. "zoisite... you I D I O T....! ! !" 'That does for Beryl. Now, about those annoying generals...' "I wish that all the generals were gone too!" And they were. 'this is fun!...' "I wish Nephlyte was back so that he and Molly can be together. Come to think of it, I wish Molly would lose that stupid accent!!" Darien, on his way to the fight (yes, he is a bit late isn't he?) and not yet in disguise, ran around the corner and saw Serena on her knees staring intently at something hanging from her neck. "What are you staring at, meatball head? I would have thought the power of concentration too elusive for someone as dizzy as you!" "Ooh, Darien! I hate you! I wish that you would just disappear!!" And he did. "Yes!!" The scouts started waking up, moaning and groaning about their various cuts and abrasions. Watching Lita and Mina struggle to their feet, she remembered that she hadn't seen as much of them lately as she would have liked and that it was all Andrew's fault. "I wish that Andrew wouldn't take up so much of their time." Since the only way that this was possible was for Andrew to simply not exist, as because for as long as he existed, Mina and Lita would follow him around, he vanished from Crown Centre arcade in a rather unspectacular fashion and was never heard from again. *Six weeks later* A Universe plagued by malnutrition, global recession (except for ice cream and chocolate factories, for which business was booming) and the shutdown of schools and places of learning everywhere was assimilated into the Posiverse empire, which was equally as evil as the negaverse, but as Beryl wasn't the one who triumphed, Serena and her wish crystal didn't seem to care. THE END. (*1) You know, those awful knotted string hanging pot plant holders from the 70's... that's macrame. Thanks for reading it! Please please mail comments and suggestions (and/or flames, I don't mind) to s369416@student.uq.edu.au Bye everyone! Have a great day! :)