Adrienne Author comments: This is just a short story for a character who never had a chance. I felt great empathy towards this character when I watched the R series and I felt that he was simply forgotten in the mesh of the ending which bothered me for some time. I feel that this is the best I have ever written and I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing this piece. Please visit my page if you have the time http://members.tripod.com/~Elsha/index.html and sign my guestbook with any comments you may have! Last Moments I lie on the ground almost motionless, save for the slight rise and fall of my chest as I struggle for each breath, trying to maintain a steady breathing pattern. I fail miserably, for my petty attempts are weak and I lack the strength. The shock of being hit begins to subside and the numbing I experience as I fell is quickly replaced with pain which courses through my wracking body as I desperately cough out the blood that quickly begins to fill my lungs. My thoughts and memories are many, scattered like so many stars in the sky. Yet all those thoughts revolve around and center on one thing? I remember the first time I saw her. My heart had leapt to my throat as I beheld the ethereal creature before me, Neo Queen Serenity. She wore a splendid silk dress which was of pure white and her neckline trimming shone bright with gold. Her long blond hair like strands of sunlight were tied into two buns one on each side of her head which drifted behind her almost touching the floor. I marveled at her beauty and the grace she bore which was proof of her nobility as well as her self confidence and her soft but strong manner showed without a doubt she was born to reign. I couldn?t help but admire the strength and ease in her posture and sureness of her steps. She stopped abruptly and seated herself facing towards us and her sapphire blue eyes flickered across each and everyone of us. She looked at us not in disdain or in contempt as our small group had previously expected. Rather she looked at us with simple pity mixed with some other emotion I could not phantom from the depths of her eyes... My fixed gaze upon her eyes changed to her whole face as I blinked, how delicate it seemed a gentle pink colouring her cheeks. This was when I, my brother and other comrades of the rebellion were presented to her awaiting our sentence for revolution. As I looked around at my friends I could see that they were not as captivated at her as I. They were more interested in examining the rich surroundings of the lavish chamber. At first glance I felt immediately remorseful for ever putting her in an uncomfortable position. Yet even though I held such sentiments I could not in good conscious back down from my stand. We had suffered a great injustice that should be rectified. If it had been simply me who wanted justice I would have given up all, but it was not and it could never be. This was for all those who were dissatisfied with the way things were, it was for the good of my people. As she sentenced us and branded us as renegades I could hear their furious and outraged voices raise but not I. Calmly I turned and left without a word, my mind deep in thought as we were escorted out. I was not disappointed , I had expected as much and I was not angry. For in my mind I was determined that one day I would return to take over Crystal Tokyo and it?s Queen. I looked back at her but once in the midst of my group watching her look sadly to her husband King Endymion. He sat at her side and placed his hand on hers comforting and assuring her that everything would be all right. I saw her glance up at him, her eyes full of love and adoration. And at that moment as I looked at the pair, for the first time ever in my life, I wished I could be someone else; in envy I wished I were him.... In bitter isolation I watched as my people began to degenerate, people who had been previously so strong in mind and body. The sight wrenched at my heart as well as devastated me but we could not and would not back down. I remember once my father telling me when I was but a boy. ?The righteous man stands alone and even if he is not heard he must stand up for what he believes in?. Those words still drift in my mind. My love for Neo Queen Serenity eventually turned what could be best described as bitter resentment, hate, and to a degree a sick obsession. ?How could I love her when she had doomed and abandoned us all? The supposed saviour of all beings,? I would think to myself in desolation as the world I knew began to fall apart. We prayed for help and guidance to every god and goddess we knew yet it seemed to no avail and I watched in misery as my people began to die. Then suddenly one day as if our prayers were answered there arose an entity who called himself Wiseman. He assumed the position of sage and councilor in our clan, bestowing upon us power unimaginable and restoring our health with ease. We asked no questions for there was need to. The simple fact that he was on our side was good enough. Little did we know the sad results of this alliance until too late... Wise man had come up with what seemed like an ingenious plan, to venture in the past to make it easier for us to corrupt things in the future. I admit I allowed this to happen for I had become ambitious and to be truthful quite ruthless by that time. So I had sent Rebeus and ordered him to follow Wiseman?s orders. I had not expected any trouble in accomplishing the tasks which seemed fairly easy. Yet young arrogant Rebeus and the girls I had sent with him all vanished and I could find no trace of any of them. It was as though they had never existed. This had me contemplating. The sailor senshi that had deterred them and remained a obstacle to my plans must be the very same sailor senshi from the future who created the dome of energy which still vigilantly protected the palace. Our only obstruction? As I drew to this conclusion the sailor senshi arrived shortly after. I sat looking at each one of them in turn I could not believe that these young chits were the cause of my displeasure and the loss of my people. Their faces bore determined expressions through the hologram. As I watched them my eyes turned feral like that of a cat watching a mouse who unknowingly had stumbled into it?s lair. My eyes widened suddenly in surprise as I looked at the senshi who walked purposefully in the middle. It was my love again! My hand clenched and my thoughts ran a frantic pace as I saw her in another form I had not known she possessed. Yet even though her whole demeanor had changed, her eyes still sparkled and spoke of innocence, power, and the spirit I had so admired in the past. I knew who she was the moment I saw her eyes for I am one of the many who believe that within the eyes therein reveals the soul. Sailormoon, the legendary warrior of Love and Justice. A former of herself who had not wronged my people, one which I could love and be loved back. Yet as I captured her time and again and practically begged her to find her an inkling of emotion for me, she could not. Save for the disgust that was clearly written on her face. Her feelings sliced through my heart unmercifully as no sword could. I made myself believe in desperation that if she but kissed me she would realize the true extent of my feelings but sadly that did not come to pass. For she was taken from my grasp by her prince. I clenched my hand into a fist as the wind blew my white hair around it?s whistling sound mocking me as I stood dejected and alone. Bitter once again I sat within my throne as my friends and ultimately the only member of my family disappeared into the unknown void named death. Yet though my recounting makes me sound but a victim I also In my ignorance wronged someone as Serenity wronged me. The name still rings in the back of my mind. Esmerodo... she loved me as much as I loved the Queen yet I paid no heed till it was much too late. I had heard her final cry as I sipped my brandy. She had cried out my name in anguish ?Demando!? I could almost imagine her asking me why, why I had not loved her as she had loved me. I thought to myself that she had been as I, in a hopeless love. Perhaps if I had seen sooner that we were alike in so many ways. I could have made myself the man she wanted me to be. Perhaps if I had done that, she at least could have had a happy ending. But I was too self absorbed to be concerned for anyone other than myself. Before her demise I viewed her need for me as a weakness and I admit I was and am still guilty for using her emotions against her. I am saddened by this yet I know I could love no other save for my brother & the Queen who occupied my mind constantly. I wonder why it is that, no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try she loves me not. Neo Queen Serenity who is so full of love that even she cannot bring forth that emotion for me... Fate has conspired against me, leaving me the role of villain and I the fool played it out in this tragic play. A villain for whom people can despise, hate, and even be disgusted with. Feeling they are good enough and in the right to condemn me for my actions for my wrongs seem ever so great than theirs. Even now as I lay dying in her arms I see that she looks at me with pity in her eyes and I wish to god that I could honestly say that I know not what the mixed emotion I saw so long ago. I do though for I see it now clearly and it dawns on me that she knew all along in the future that we would all die. It was regret in her eyes that I had to die and even when I looked on trying to find the love I thought that would surely be there for me, I found none. ?It is better to have known love and lost it, then to have never known love at all,? I believe the famous saying went and it truly echoes my sentiments even if she did not return my feelings I have no regrets. No, I lie. I have lied to myself and others many times in my short life and I do not wish to deceive myself in these last few moments I have. I do regret, I regret that she believed I died because I had felt guilty about all the wrongs I had done and felt the need to avenge my brother, a final act of redemption. She was wrong, I laid my life for her, it was not because I wanted something petty like revenge or that I was mentally anguished. I gave my life up to save her because I loved her. I wish she knew just how much....