CWF ROCKS! RATING: TV-14 DVL E-MAIL: WaSPG0LD@aol.com DISCLAIMER: You know THIS one! FEATURED CWF SUPERSTARS: Michelle "Queen" Beryl The Rock The Sonn Brothers ______________________________________________________ Scene opens up with several clips of the featured superstars during their matches. VO of ALL: CWF ROCKS! The setting is in a small room. A black curtain with the CWF logo is draped behind where the star is sitting. BERYL: Hello, and welcome to CWF Rocks, a program hosted by MTV to showcase some of the biggest superstars of the CWF and their favorite videos. I'm Michelle Beryl. Clip of her holding up the CWF title belt. BERYL: Now let's get right into it with our first video. Now I chose my favorite videos because they most describe the message that I give whether it's in the ring, or not. This first video is the perfect ex- ample. People may question my actions, my motifs and whatever, but in the end, NO ONE will question me when I beat their asses in the ring. This first video is "My Way" by Usher. Hit it. They play the video. (NOTE: During the videos, the stars pop up to offer their insight on the videos. A shot of them appears in the lower left hand corner of the screen.) BERYL: This scene begs the question...what the hell are they doing in a junkyard in the first place? More of the video. BERYL: One thing I DON'T like about videos is that most of the stuff in one is never used again. Like, check out that vest he has on. I kid you not, those are REAL DIAMONDS. And to think that vest was only used ONCE. It's probably hanging up on a hanger somewhere or on a man- nequin. Hey, if you don't want it, I'll be GLAD to take it off your hands for ya! More of the video. BERYL: Together with the vest, if I had dance moves like that, I pro- bably wouldn't be wrestling. I mean, how much do you think that vest goes for? Twenty? Thirty? Forty thousand? End of video. Back to the studio with Beryl. BERYL: That was Usher's "My Way" here on my favorite videos. Now be- fore we get into our next video, I first wanna talk about my impact in the CWF. Clip of her match with Stone Cold Steve Austin. JR VO: BERYL HAS MADE HISTORY!!! BERYL: What many don't know is that the Cartoon Wrestling Federation has been around since the late 1930's. That's almost 60 years of his- tory we have under our collective belts. The CWF Heavyweight Title - the most sought out prize in the wrestling world - has been held by legendary icons such as Speed Racer, Ranger Smith, and King Kai, to to- day's rising stars such as myself, Sailor Moon, as well as Goku. Shots of each one of them holding up the championship belt played as she spoke. BERYL: I was the first to hold the CWF title at their triumphant re- turn to the big time, as well as being the first woman to ever hold the belt. And to be a part of history amongst such big names is an honor that I don't take lightly. BERYL: Now let's get into our second video. It's "Blue Monday" by Or- gy. This one pretty much describes how I felt during the period of time when I was dating Justin "Darkpower" Dillhay, owner of the CWF... Shot of DP clobbering Beryl with a steel chair. BERYL: ...and the period after he dumped me. This is pretty much how I was feeling at that time. So here it is, Orgy's "Blue Monday". Roll it. They start playing the video. BERYL: Man, don't you just hate it when that happens? You're in some futuristic environment, trying to play your instrument, and then some psychotic maniac come along and snatch you up for some twisted experi- ment. That's just...wrong! More of the video. BERYL: When I first saw this video, I thought Jay Gordon, the guy with the mic, was gonna hang himself with that microphone cord. That's bad for business. More of the video again. BERYL: I just want to point out to Ash and Gohan what'll happen if you use drugs. If you do, well, just look at what happened to this little boy... End video. Back to Beryl. BERYL: Well that about wraps it up for me and my favorite videos. The Rock will be in here shortly. And as we say in the wrestling industry, keep your feet on the ground, your head in the clouds, and keep reach- ing for those stars! Switch to a hallway outside the studio, where the Rock is walking in. He bumps into some guy on the phone. MAN: My GOD, it's THE ROCK! (extending his hand) Put 'er there, man! ROCK: Whoa! The Rock doesn't shake hands. What the Rock DOES want to know is what you think of his $500 shirt. MAN: I - ROCK: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, JABRONI! Go get the Rock a soda! (The man leaves.) Coming up next, it'll be the Rock showing you his favorite videos...if ya SMELL what the Rock is cookin'! BERYL VO: CWF ROCKS! Go to a break. Begin CWF promo. Scene is in a hot, open plain, possibly on the Serengetti in Africa. A Jolteon bolts from out of nowhere, being chased by someone on a bike. Jungle-esque music picks up, and the biker turns out to be Ash Ketchum- Sonn. As he pedals faster, he gains on the Jolteon and the music picks up. When he's in short range, Ash jumps off, and TAKES DOWN THE JOLTE- ON! He then sticks his arm down his throat, and pulls out an unopened can of Mountain Dew. Only, it has four teeth holes in it. He shakes it, and find that it's empty. ASH: BAD Jolteon! JOLTEON: (licking his lips) Jol...? Cut to a large rock formation a distance away, where Jessie, Gohan, and James are observing the ordeal. JAMES: See? That's why I'm hate electric-types. The jungle music starts again. They crack poen their cans of Mountain Dew and proceed to chug. The last shot is of the Jolteon, his fur har- dened and pointed to look like the phrase "DO THE DEW". End promo. Back to the show. ROCK VO: CWF ROCKS! The Rock is seated where Beryl is when they come back. ROCK: Welcome back to CWF Rocks! Now the Rock knows what you're thinking: 'Finally, the Rock, MTV, and ASMR have teamed up to form the ULTIMATE Tag Team'...well THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, JABRONI! The Rock could've been on SAILORMOON.ORG and they STILL would've got the best ratings their candy asses would've ever seen! Quick snipit of the Rock giving the People's Eyebrow. ROCK: Now let's get started with our first video. Now the Rock was at his home in Miami, ironing his $500 shirt, admiring his $30,000 watch when his cell phone starts ringing! And this guy is on the other end of the phone, CRYING to the Rock! Saying he wants to BE like the Rock! I wanna be NAMED like the Rock! Little Rock! Rock Jr.! Mini-The Rock! Pebble! It doesn't matter! And so here it is, Kid Rock, "Ba- witdaba". Roll the video, jabroni! They show the video. ROCK: Look at this jabroni, just RIPPING OFF the Rock, IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'! Now if it weren't for Kid Rock having the name Rock, he would still be in Detroit selling cars with his old man! The Rock says fast forward through this garbage... this part of the video SUCKS! They fast forward. ROCK: Okay, stop it right here! Now, they're just tossing around the football; that's not ELECTRIFYING! And what Kid Rock needs to do is to take his size 13 shoe, turn it sideways, and shove it straight up lit- tle Joe-C's ass! More of the video. ROCK: Look at this nonsense. Fast forward throught this, all the way to the end..............NOOOOOOOO, NOT AT THE NAKED GUY! NOT TO THAT NAKED OLD GUY! (back to the Rock) NO ONE wants to see the NAKED GUY - (looking off camera) well, maybe YOU did! You've been playing pocket- ball ever since you laid EYES on the Rock, jabroni! ROCK: And now the Rock would like to talk about something VERY IMPORT- ANT to the Rock...namely, the Rock! Clip of the Rock. ROCK: Shut up, jabroni, before the Rock slaps the taste outta your mouth! Back to the Rock. ROCK: NO ONE has done more in the world of wrestling than the Rock... three-time WWF champion, CWF champion, youngest ever CWF champion! NO ONE can cut an interview quite like the Rock! And the Rock realizes that he has RAISED THE BAR in the world of sports entertainment. ROCK: And now it's time for MORE of the Rock's favorite videos. What you have to understand is that in ANY wrestling organization, mic skills are more important than ever before! You have to know how to cut an interview, call someone out, lay a verbal smack down, it doesn't matter what you wanna call it. The fact of the matter is that people will have to know what your name is. That's why the Rock has chosen DMX's "What's My Name?" as his favorite video. DMX. Roll the video, jabroni! They start the video. ROCK: Now this guy's got the right idea! Right from the get-go, he's making it clear that finally, DMX has come back! But he's got some problems. For one, look at that jacket! The Rock says that he will get this jabroni some NICE attire, CLASSY attire, ROCK...attire! Then, the Rock will take him into the People's ring, raise the People's eye- brow, and lay the smack down on his candy ass! Now the Rock says fast forward again! They fast forward. ROCK: Okay, here's good! Now look, he's all full of piss and vinegar that the Rock laid the smack down on his candy ass! This is a very common reaction, seeing that the Rock is THE MOST Electrifying man in sports entertainment! End video. Back to the Rock. ROCK: Well, there you have it, those are the Rock's favorite videos. Now if the Rock finds out you've replaced his picks with some Back- street Boys Menudo crap, then you're gonna be sorry you ever laid EYES on the Rock! The Rock continues talking. Switch to the hallway, where the Sonn Boyz are waiting on the Rock to get out of there. GOHAN: (making the "blah-blah-blah" sign) ASH: (disgusted sigh) Man, he's waisting our time! GOHAN: He just keeps going and going and going and going... Back to the Rock. ROCK: Now the Rock understands that there are two young jabronis wait- ing to get in here. They're about to come in here, the Rock is gonna leave, the ratings are gonna go in the toilet, but that's okay. Be- cause the Rock says THIS... Cut back to the Sonnz. GOHAN: Man, let's just go IN there, man! They disappear behind the curtain. ASH: WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?! To a break. ROCK VO: CWF ROCKS! Begin CWF promo. Scene is in a mail room. Besides James and a desk, the ENTIRE ROOM is full of Mail bags. JAMES: Here at 7-Up, I'm always coming up with great new promotions. Like this one. We just finished up the "Show Us Your Cans" contest, (brandishing a can of 7-Up) where we asked people to send us pictures of their cans! Let's take a look. They show the first picture. It's of a VERY LARGE WOMAN, SHOWING HER HUGE ASS TO THE CAMERA! JAMES: (horrified) OHHHH!!! James deliberately puts the picture back in the envelope, folds it up, and discards it. He tries to keep cool as he opens the next envelope. The next photo is of a slim guy, his feet folded behind his head, and pointing at his ass to the camera. JAMES: Yowza! James is then seen sifting through envelopes. He is then seen throwing them in all directions. Close-up of James, looking down, despondently. JAMES: (looking at the camera) Looks like two big Christmas hams. JAMES: (laughing hysterically) Show us your cans! James is then brandishing a picture of a large black man. JAMES: Look at the back yard on THIS fella! James is then seen with his head in his hands. He lets out a sigh. JAMES: Well, that concludes our first annual "Show Us Your Cans" co- ntest. (7-Up graphic) Next time, I'll be more specific. James is then seen with one last photo. JAMES: .....MOM?!?! End CWF promo. Back to the show. ASH & GOHAN VO: CWF ROCKS!!! Ash and Gohan are seated where the Rock just was. ASH: Welcome back to CWF Rocks. We are the Sonn Brothers. GOHAN: What we've been asked to do is come on here, show our favorite videos, talk about them, yadda yadda yadda. But you know, music is a very important part of our reportoire. ASH: We each have our own favorite video we'd like to show you, so let's get started. Now for those that have followed my career in the CWF from the beginning, you'll see this video and think "Aren't those two still at odds?" Cut to Ash's infamous confrontation with Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. ASH: And I was listening to the CD in the BACK, and BASICALLY, you STINK, because you were saying all those words that either started with an S or an F! Back to the two of them. ASH: But their music proves that they - just like us - don't have to be the most talented, most glamorous, or even spend lots of money gala- vanting around. This video summarizes exactly how anyone feels after having a bad day, AND it's my entrance music. Fred and I are on good terms, incidentally, the death threats have trickled off, you know, despite any past unpleasantries. Back to the confrontation. ASH: Well, here's a PRESENT to Fred, from ASH KETCHUM!! He pulls back, and NAILS Fred Durst in the face with a HUGE slap. They're back. ASH: So here's Limp Bizkit with "Break Stuff." They play the video. ASH: See? All his buddies dropped by to help with this video. Even WE'RE in this video, if you pay attention. More of the video. GOHAN: Too bad I forgot my skateboard, or I would've showed off some of MY tricks. ASH: Last time you tried to show off, you broke your forearm and got twelve stitches in your head. More of the video. ASH: HEY! There's ME! More. ASH: HEY! There's YOU! GOHAN: I know. More. ASH: What you didn't see, unfortunately, is that in one scene, it was us, Pauly [Shore], John [Davis, of KoRn] and Wes [Borelan, Limp guitar- ist], were all set up in this little box and Fred used us like a game of whack-a-mole. Although GOHAN over here, backed out at the last mi- nute. GOHAN: He wanted to hit us with AN ALUMINUM BASEBALL BAT. End video. ASH: That was MY favorie video, Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff." The ul- timate bad day anthem. And speaking of bad days, Gohan, you've had enty of bad days in the ring, haven't you? GOHAN: I most certainly have, the worst of which being the infamous Hell in a Cell match with me and my father. The following are clips of the Hell in a Cell match. Gohan gets off the Cell alright. He gets a running start off the top and DIVES OFF, CRASHING RIGHT INTO GOKU! GOHAN: It was one of the worst experiences in my life, I mean, I was broken... Goku hits Gohan so hard, there is a HUGE dent in a chair. GOHAN: ...bruised... Goku uses the Dragon Bomb Z on Gohan. Only, he bombs him RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE CELL, RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANOUNCE TABLE! GOHAN: ...bleeding... Close up of Gohan, now slouched over in one of the turnbuckles, his whole face, mantle (that white scarf around his neck), and most of his shirt and arms are covered in blood. JR: ...LOOK AT GOHAN! HIS ENTIRE BODY IS COVERED IN BLOOD! GOHAN: ...definitely not my brightest hour in the CWF. As you may or may not know, I had to get a blood transfusion from my dad - three pints, to be exact - and it took a real long time for us to recover from all the trauma that we went through. Gohan rebounds off the top supports of the Hell in a Cell, only when he lands, the top panel gives way, sending both Goku and Gohan into the ring below. GOHAN: Now let's get into my favorite video. Now as you know, if there's one type of music we can't stand AT ALL, it's that watered- down, factory made, run-of-the-mill, untalented, unappealing BOY BANDS. Ash sticks a finger in his mouth, the universal "gag me" sign. GOHAN: And this video is pretty much as far away as one can possibly get. But that's not the main reason I have this video as my favorite. Plus, this guy just totally dresses down everyone who has ever doubted him, and his talent, despite his success. So you might say we got a lot in common. So without further adieu, here is "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem. They play the video. GOHAN: Do they still put missing persons notices on the backs of milk cartons in the States? ASH: I don't think anyone cares anymore about them, honestly. More of the video. GOHAN: Look! It's Destiny! Eminem's going after Destiny! ASH: That's not Destiny, dude. GOHAN: I know. Would've been funny to see him put those fake ass cheeks in Brock's face, though. ASH: What's the point? Just use real ass cheeks.... BOTH: RIKISHI'S! More of the video. GOHAN: Hey look, stunt doubles. More still. GOHAN: You know Yamcha has that exact same car? ASH: Really? GOHAN: Yeah, but it's a total piece of crap. End video. GOHAN: Well folks, we thank you for stopping by for the CWF's favorite videos. ASH: We'll be signing off now, but make sure to check out RAW is WAR, Smack Down! and the King of the Ring, coming up on June 25th. Until then... BOTH: Ciao! Ash gives the peace sign, while Gohan extends a fist right at the cam- era. Final promo for CWF Rocks. ASH AND GOHAN VO: CWF ROCKS!!! They go off the air. #############################c 2000 by Ari#############################