Meant To Be ------------------- by Blue --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We were made for each other, we were made from love, and we were meant to die with it. Yet, in the end, we had turned away to find that the bond was not strong enough to keep the two of us together, for the chains of fate had dragged us apart from a bond that we had thought was thicker than blood, thicker than time, and stronger than fate. But we were wrong. We should've known, that even though we were created together, fate had other plans, that it was different than destiny, that it could be stronger if it wished it. We were destined, they said, to love to the end of eternity, but we were also fated. Fated to kill each other, to sacrifice our lives for those other than ourselves, other than our love. And now I sit here and wonder, was there ever an eternity? Were we truly destined if fate had so cruelly pulled us apart? I may never see you again, and I accepted that, yet, sometimes I feel your lingered lips on mine, the brush of your fingers on my cheeks, the softness of your smile, all those memories that can still can lighten my heart in the darkest of storms or bring tears of bitterness into my eyes. I know that I would forever love you; I know that even so, I would still have sacrificed it all for my beliefs, my dreams, my princess. That in the end, it was not the bond of love that had tied us together and kept us apart, but duty, love had always had to come second - we had all accepted it when we were first asked for the task - but to live with it is a different story. For who can live an eternity with loneliness and duty, when love is but a step behind? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Just because we're destined... ...are we meant to be? "Do you love me?" She had asked him that when they first met. Strange as it was, she knew, from the very beginning that he was the one. No, that was not why she asked, she asked because she knew that there would never be a chance like this again, she needed to know. He had looked at her startled, perhaps more by her beauty than her question at the time and had hesitantly replied a hai, before blushing profusely. Probably because the question had sunk in then and he had realized what he had answered to, perhaps it was something else. It was a lie; she knew it, yet she had convinced herself that it was his soul speaking, that for a moment he was not himself and her someone else, long ago and far away. She could picture it perfectly, the two standing before the crashing sea of meteorites, the fires of burning hell lightening the sky. Their goodbye was sad, and they, saying nothing and knowing that one day they would both regret it, stood there, still as statues that longed to be close but could not. The lights of the ship that stood beyond her flashed its warnings and she had grimly led him to the haul and kissed him, once on the lips and smiled up at his startled face before pushing him into the bright light. He had screamed at her in anger, in confusion, and she had only stood there smiling, sorrow and tears trailing down her cheeks, "Goodbye." She had said it then as his form began to fade, "May we meet again someday, perhaps on better terms." When his form, the lights, the ship had all disappeared. She had turned back to the fire lit hell, tears falling down her cheeks, and for one last time, she glanced to where he was last, "Aishitru." I love you. I love you. Just then another golden-haired man walked towards her, a malicious smile on his face before turning to shock as he ran towards her, as the dagger came down. "You shall never have me." Were her last words as she smiled bitterly at him, the hatred in the other man's eyes was the last thing she saw, not love, never love. "Do you really?" She had repeated herself, digging her nails into her palms, trying to push the images away. "I don't know...who you are." He finally said, but she did not cry out in pain, even if her eyes misted slightly. She smiled and shrugged ever so slightly, "Perhaps someday you will know me for me, and I for you, but it will be too late then." Was all she said, before she turned away, walking gracefully down the corridors, knowing his eyes were trained on her, half in confusion and half in admiration. Was this all because of her beauty? She could care less. He did not love her, and she knew that was the answer to her final question. Always too late does the knowledge comes... * * * "Minako-chan, are you ready?" The dark-haired woman poked her head into a golden colored room, filled with molten yellows and pinks and reds and heart-shaped pillows and stuffed animals. "Ready?" A voice screeched out, as the dark-haired woman spotted the exasperated silver-white cat, sitting on the floor and looking to her as he helplessly sighed sadly to himself. "I have nothing to wear!" Golden fuzz flashed across the room, before slamming into the dark-haired woman. "Komban wa Rei-chan!" The blond squealed in delight before disappearing in another flash, leaving a dazed and slightly confused Rei wobbling at the door, regaining composer only moments later. Artemis then stepped towards her, and smiled unsteadily, as if unsure what to say. Probably didn't come over to greet me because he knew this would happen! Rei thought bitterly and glared at the sheepish cat for not warning her about it earlier. "Minako, the ball is beginning in an hour, can you please hurry it up, we cannot afford to be late for this one, and I won't wait for you this time!" And get in trouble, again! "But I heard they were very handsome and I want to look my best!" The blond yelled out at her, momentarily sticking her head out to look at her friend with a bright smile before turning back to her closest. Soon enough, dress after dress began to fly out faster then light speed. Flung about in the already messy room. "They're just earthlings." The dark-haired woman said with a frown, "And men after all, they aren't worth the time of day in the first place! Just wear the gold dress you're planning on wearing at Serenity's coming coronation and you'll be fine." The agitation in her voice could be heard, and yet the blond was not the least bit fizzed by this. "Hai! You're right, that's my best gown yet!" Pulling out the golden gown she quickly disappeared into the bathroom and changed, coming out fifteen-minutes later, to greet the dark-haired woman, now seated on her bed and slowly flipping through the pages of a cast aside book, while Artemis contently purred under the dark-haired woman's soft caress. Already forgiven. "How do I look?" The blond asked, posing seductively, her friend sighed in frustration as the white-cat frowned at the flashy material, before the former told her that her hair needed to be pulled up. "But Rei-chan, guys always said how they loved my hair down and flowing!" Rei pointed to her own head to make a point and the blond sighed, finally giving in to protocols. Mumbling all the way through. Finally ready after sometime, Rei dragged her blond friend out the door and hurried toward the ballroom, muttering about how Serenity was going to have their heads for sure and that this was the last time Rei ever did anything for the blond again! ...Or too early to comprehend... * * * "May I have this dance?" She glanced up startled at to meet a pair of cool and confident eyes, but she smiled anyway and took his hand. He didn't remember, of course he wouldn't, it had been a while since they last met, and she did not forget, for the simple reason that if she did she would regret it greatly later on. Perhaps she had failed to see that she had more to regret because she remembered, more to regret that she had known. "Of course you may my Prince." She smiled then, she rarely smiled, but she found that this was indeed the appropriate time for there wouldn't be any time for smiling later on. Kissing her hand softly, he smiled in return, a triumphant look within his cool-blue eyes, one that made her wondered if she had made a grave mistake for letting him have this triumph, but she would ponder over it later. Let this be the night to remember, she thought. Let this be the last and only night, even if he is ignorant to it all. "My Princess, my name is Jadeite, Prince Jadeite." He smiled, seeming to like the more intimate introduction, even if the formal one had already been given and introduced them to each other before hand. "I am Rei." Was her only reply, she did not want to go to charming him as her blond friend Minako was doing at that moment to the mint-haired general, one who strangely resembled Artemis in his human form. She didn't need to do the charming, for the blond haired prince did most of the talking, as he swept her along the floor, while she patiently listened. Something that she had long learned to do in Minako's presence, while apart of her hungrily filled her memories with his look, his smile, the way the light played across his hair, there was another part that silently watched, ever pensive, ever detached. "...and then the Prince Endymion ran in with his rose in one hand, while Zoisite screeched in horror at his curls, ready to kill the enemy for the great misfortune it had done to his hair! Nephrite tried to hold back from laughing at the messy state that Zoisite was in, but let it out after the pathetic thing wiggled around, trying to get air back into its lungs! Even Kunzite smirked at the scene, while Zoisite choked the living daylights out of the Dark Kingdom youma." The blond-haired man chuckled at the memory, while Rei smiled and laughed along with him, her song-like voice drifting in the air, capturing several male attentions nearby, including the blond-haired general who had then possessively tightened his grip around her slim waist. "It is an amusing story," Rei said with a smile, her violet-eyes sparked with laughter, seizing his soul till he was sure that this moment was somewhat familiar, that this had happened before, that this feeling in his chest, burning him up was as new as it is old. But he pushed it away. Intrigue would have to take its place, there was no place for this feeling that he felt, instinct had told him that as long as he lived and breathed as the enemy it could never be, not in this life anyway. Though whether he did it for fear or because apart of him already knew its insignificance did not matter, it was his greatest victory, but one that led to his most devastating defeat. "Hai, it is indeed." But his attention was already diverted from the memories of the past, as the purple-haired goddess that had captured his attention had then looked into his eyes. This time it was startling indeed, for at that exact moment, when he had cleverly maneuvered them outside onto the balcony, just when the eerie light of the earth reflected off of those violet depth did he for the second time that night not only realized how beautiful she really was - heart and soul - but that the familiar feeling still haunted him. The way her lips quivered slightly did not divert her intense gaze, for for a moment, just a moment, their souls joined. "I-" He begun, at the same time she opened her mouth slightly, as if about to respond, but she was not fast enough, for before she could form the words his lips met hers as he swiftly silenced her there, giving her a passionate kiss, filled with longing and everything that he wished to say but could not. His hands reached for her hair, freeing the thick, long mass of blue-purple down her back. Her eyes widened in surprise staring at him with their hypnotic violet-depth, so much so that he kissed harder and forced his own eyes closed to hide his soul. "Do you love me?" A distant voice asked him, and he remembered, but he pushed the thought away. "Maybe we'll meet again someday, perhaps on better terms." That same voice whispered to him in his mind, his memories, a voice that was different, but the same. "I could love you forever..." A distant voice begun to sing to the melody played from within the ballroom, and she pulled away then and looked into his eyes again, probing, asking. Confused, startled, passionate, emotions that he could not understand and ones that he did not wished to flashed within hers, he did not know what was in his own, for at that moment he felt nothing, empty and slightly drained. "I could hold you..." The music continued, "And if for once, just once, I can kiss you goodbye, maybe this time, we will be together..." "Goodbye." Was all she said before she flew away from him. Her last glance was cast on with fright, her last glance through dreamy eyes. It was the last that he saw of her, in peace times wise; with eyes that haunted him forever. Perhaps even in the days when he had willed himself to not be touched by those eyes, those passionate and understanding eyes, forever holding his soul within their hypnotic gaze. ...What and where the meaning lies... * * * "How do you know you've been touched by an angel? How do you know when she has passed you by? Maybe someday you might see her mingle, with our kind. But how do you tell her that you love her? How do you know?" The words just came really, floated on notes right into his window where he sat; staring blindly at his wall, wondering what idiot was singing that song, even if apart of him rose curiously to the tune that sounded so familiar. "It must be the drinks I had." He said with a smirk, but it was a cynical one at best as he fought to get her eyes out of his head. After she had fled from him, he had slowly returned to the ballroom, apprehension had tightened his muscles, unwilling to see her dancing with anyone but him, for it had seemed wrong that she would, but she was not there at all. At first he worried that some other dashing, young, debonair had swept her away, deciding that he shouldn't care what had happened to the Martian Princess, but no matter how much he tried her eyes haunted him, taunting him with secrets that he longed to know. Gallantly, he walked over to another pretty young woman and asked for her hand instead, and for the rest of the night he danced with practically any pretty women that came into sight, but her eyes still did not leave him. They were not her. No matter how hard he had tried to forget he knew it was already too late, for she had gotten to him already; under the light of the Earth and the Heavens, so help him! He could not help himself. But I am a rebel, a spy, as are the rest of them. He sighed and with one angry throw, he sent the glass of liquor across the room to the wall facing him and his anger, spewing contents of dark-liquid, causing it to flowing and stain the soft white with a vengeance, sliding across the silver-cream colored wall and dripping onto the white carpet. Laughing at the irony that he had indeed fallen for the enemy as they had all feared and thought impossible. Him, the playboy of the group, the ladies-man, who was more than willing to spend his time with a pretty face, even if the personality behind it might be lacking, the cold, passionate and calculating one of the group. Perhaps he was not as cold and manipulative as Zoisite, nor was he as vain; he was not as romantic in verses as Nephrite, but he never lacked attention from the ladies, he never had to try very hard either. But this one was different, she felt right...He slammed his fist down onto the table in frustration and ran his fingers through his slightly tousled hair. Damn her! Damn her for making him care so much about with whom she's with and where she went! Damn her for being the enemy that he was supposed to seduce, but found her too compatible to himself to not be affected. Damn her for making him doubt his mission! True, over the years that Endymion and him had spent in training, he had formed a bound with the young lad, had even came to like the once pitiful Prince who couldn't even hold a sword right. But the Prince was too late; it was all too late. They had already been sworn to Beryl's lot since birth; the new Queen. She owned them. She owned their souls as much as their bodies by right of oath. And until she be defeated in death and they reborn, it was hopeless, they were bound, as soldiers are bound by words and contracts, some not even their own. Spies. How he was filled with glee over those words once, feeling particularly furtive one evening, he had looked into the Royals rooms and found some very disturbing information, ones he had had to tell Beryl, and now with the High Prince out of the way and on the moon, he knew it wouldn't be long before their dead bodies would be found. He was growing soft, where did the old Jadeite go? Where did all that party-animal, wild, without-a-care assassin go? ...We grow and find ourselves having drifted... She rushed into the fire room, its flames flaring up slightly, as if happy to see her back in its presence. Silently sitting down, she breathed out a slow relief before glancing into the flames. She had known that he would kiss her, knew that he would try to charm her, but her insides still did flip-flops in his presence, and her heart still soared at the sound of his smooth, deep voice and the questioning within his ice-blue eyes, ones that still held warmth like a soft blue- flame. To her they were beautiful, and yet somehow empty, as if they could not and will not allow her into their depth, as if he held nothing for her, and it made her empty. "I cannot love you!" She screamed at him. "You can, and you do!" He retorted right back at her, advancing toward her now seemingly fragile and trembling form. He reached out, so fast that she had only time to step back before his hands trapped her to the wall, his body blocking any form of escape that she could think off. "Please, don't do this!" Her eyes, those shining purple-eyes that had first captured his heart pleaded with him, but he would not relent, not now, not when her heart was the prize. "You're mine, and you know it!" He proceeded to brush his lips against hers lightly, as if to tease, back and force and back again till she moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers through his soft hair, finally he crushed her slight form to his own, as if unable to get enough of her. "He would find us, no matter where we go!" She said, when they finally pulled apart, her eyes still pleading. "You must leave!" "You're coming with me then!" He said, determination shining in his eyes. "She will not go anywhere with you, you filthy trash!" A harsh voice interrupted them, just as rough hands pulled them apart. "She is mine, as her father had said so when he sold her to me, I had paid for her dearly and she will always be mine!" The golden-haired man snarled at him, as dark-stormy golden eyes slanted at him dangerously, challenging him. "Oh great fire, why is this happening to me?" She asked in despair. Why must I always know too late? Ever since youth Rei had been gifted with the psychic powers that allowed her insights into the future, but it was not ones that came and answered questions, instead they arouse more, for they only came in flashes and images leaving her on the edge of discovery. Sometimes she could only sense feelings of familiarity, sometimes she knew the event only moments before its occurrence. She hated that feeling of inevitability that came along with what others had called a 'gift' from the gods, but it was no gift, it only goaded her. She was grateful for the fire though, it usually helped her piece together the wayward images to constructive thoughts and events, so she could understand it, so she could tell the future, but it was silent on the subject that involved her heart. It had made her angry at first that it would keep such a secret to itself, but then her anger soon turned to sadness, until she no longer asked, but she knew enough, enough to make her edgy and uncomfortable, one that filled her with dread and sorrow. Even now, she could sense the dark clouds of evil massing, perhaps millions of miles off, or hundreds of years away, but it was like a sick wound that festered at her soul, one that made her even more edgy than her love life or lack of it. This new evil that she had sensed had first came to her when she was only a year into training in the moon palace and was still homesick for her planet. The dreams, the visions, the screams had frightened her so much at first that she feared sleep and stopped her fire reading for a month before her haggard expression and poor reaction was no longer able to be excused. She told the Queen right after her disqualification from the field, the truth, for she could not lie to the monarch that she had sworn her eternal alliance to, nor her daughter who she had tried for so long to hid from in case that the other would question her. But Minako was pertinacious from the start, until her blond-haired friend got so worried about her that she disqualified her, making it clear that she could not and would not be allowed to wallow in her fears any longer, that she was lagging behind and dragging everyone down with her. Perhaps the incident had fermented the relationship between the two senshi even more - the exact opposite of what the blond had feared would happen - and helped the two become even closer friends then before. There was honesty and love expressed in that forced gesture as well, and to Rei it was the most generous offer of friendship ever given to her. The dreams though, lessened after that, but she knew the Queen was worried, for there had been other cases that were similar to her own before that. Ones that warned the downfall of her Queen's magnificent kingdom and court, that peace would end soon and war will ravage the countryside. Perhaps that was the one reason why the negotiations with Earth had truly begun at all, for they all knew that the battle would be long and an arduous one at best, that allies would be most needed in the great confrontation that was about to occur. Some claimed that this was the ultimate battle of good against evil, others, that this was simply a new beginning. Rebels of both sides have claimed that it was a cleansing of a corrupt society, that it was one that was long needed in that of the Moon Kingdom of the Silver Millennium. She had snorted at that, the Queen, corrupt? No, it was none of those, she knew, it was simply another cruel twist of fate that revealed enough but not enough to prevent it. How she hated this gift, how she loathed waking up at nights, a soft cry on her lips, her nightgown dampened by sweat and her heart pounding at top-speeds as if she had been running a long journey. She hated the screams that echoed in her ears, crying for help that she longed to give but could not, she hated the helplessness she felt, the fear, the uncertainty mixed with certain dread, she hated it all. But it was apart of her, she could not remember a time when it was not, and somewhere along the way she had accepted and learned to take her defeats and rise again slowly, it had built her character, her strength, but it had not stopped her from loathing it nonetheless. The fire was silent, it had been silent these days, she felt the dread of it all and for the first time, she feared that there would be no more light at the end of this tunnel, and that this indeed was the one battle that she could not win or get up from if she lost. ...Too far off to be rescued... * * * "My dear child, what is the matter?" The light silver-haired woman asked, tints of soft violet glowed from beneath the sparkling chandelier. "Did you have another vision?" The woman asked, her brows frowning in concern, for both her kingdom and the child before her. "Iie." The dark-haired one said, shaking her head to confirm what she had answered, but before the monarch could relax the rest of the answer froze that reaction. "It is not having it that worries me, I know it has begun but we are blind. I can do nothing." The monarch frowned in thought as an anxious feeling seeped into her blood. "Nothing?" The monarch asked, perhaps a little too desperately. "Gomen nasai my Queen, Selenity-sama, I can only advise you to call for Pluto-san, but we all know that she would answer nothing about what is to come. And I, am useless." The dark-haired one frowned, a saddened look finally permeated onto her cool, composed face, and the monarch knew the severity and the cost that it took for the child before her to not break down and wail at the injustice and responsibilities she felt pressing on her shoulders. The Queen felt love and sympathy swelling at her bosom for this dear child, one that was like her own, like all of the senshi were, but this one had it tough, perhaps even tougher than Minako, the leader. She keeps everything in too much! The Queen thought with despair, too controlled and too composed, she will break under the pressure one day! A day that the Queen prayed that would arrive; she did not wish to see any of her children deteriorate like that! "My brave Rei, do not think that the end is near, the end is but another beginning." The Queen smiled as the fire senshi glanced up at her sharply, probably from surprise and shock. "You have already been of great help, we already know that they are coming and that they have arrived." The Queen smiled kindly down at her, "Remember my child, the end is only the beginning." ...And yet a light shines once in awhile... * * * "What are you doing here?" She searched his face, his eyes, hoping against hope that he was real, that he was unhurt. "How did you get here?" He swiftly bent down and gathered her into his arms, swallowing her up in his arms, making her forget the rest of the world existed, allowing a brief moment of belief that there is hope, that she is allowed in this paradise, if only for a little while. But the dampness she felt, soaking her gown startled her to pull back from him, something that she had not wished to do. Staring at him and then down at her gown, she gasped. The white, gossamer material was clinging to her chest, dyed in deep red. Dark, crimson red. It was blood! Blood! His blood? Her mind screamed in fear, no! Please no! Looking up at him, she pulled at his jacket frantically, until he had to forcefully hold her wrists away to stop her hysterical tearing of his clothes. "My lovely, it is but a scratch." He stated with a soft smile and pulled her struggling form back into his embrace and gently kissing her, a kiss that calmed her and made her forget all else. A while later she was finally able to find her voice again. "You-what happened to you?" She asked, as she gently brushed aside a stray blond hair, as she laid the soft white cloth against his wound. Wincing at the sting he felt, he grinned mischievously up at her. "Would you believe me if I told you that it was to make you fawn all over me like right now?" She didn't laugh like she usually would have; she was too worried about his state at that moment. "You shouldn't do that." Was all she said, but her frown said enough, marring her features with concern. "I'm sorry my dear, I did not mean to worry you so, but I had to see you, and the guard was in the way." A loud crash was suddenly heard, and the two looked up startled at the clanging outside. "So it has finally arrived?" The blond looked stern, but there was sadness in her eyes, stealing away the light happiness that usually shined through those silver-blue orbs. "Hai, min'na, gomen, I did not wished this to be, but there is nothing we can do but wait." The dark-haired woman looked defeated as she hunched her shoulder slightly, she could almost feel the pressure of responsibility there. "Don't worry Rei-chan, none of it is your fault." The auburn haired woman soothed with a soft smile, but worry was clearly expressed through the emerald colored eyes, ones that could not hide her own true feelings of helplessness and worry. "Have you told the Princess yet?" The blond inquired, and as the rest of the women all turned to her sharply. "Iie, I did not want to worry her." The dark-haired woman sighed. "She had not seemed this happy since Endymion's arrival, I did not want to be the barer of bad news." She looked down sadly at her hands, it was indeed pathetic, she too was in love, she too could be happy, but she knew that if she allowed herself to feel the slightest for him, the battle would be ruined. Everything would be fought for nothing. He was her only weakness. "And what of the Generals?" The blue-haired woman inquired, her eyes worrisome, but kind and wise. She looked so beautiful nowadays, now that she too has fallen in love with the enigmatic and vain General, Zoisite, but her sweetness tamed him. In a way he was less arrogant and more kind and considerate of others feelings, he could even be sweet, but only around the blue-haired genius. "Iie! We cannot tell them!" The dark-haired woman shook her head. "Anything and everything spoken in this room would not be discussed outside its threshold, we cannot disturb the time continuance by giving knowledge to those meant to be ignorant until the time." The dark-haired woman spoke fiercely; she did not want to face the consequences of the act of breaking the most important rule of life. "You're beginning to sound like Pluto-san." The blond joked, trying to lighten up the mood. "Only the Queen and us the Senshi knows it and only the Inners, excluding Pluto who would reveal nothing more then what I am allowed to be showed from within the fire." The dark-haired woman shook her head sadly, "That is all I can say." "Why are you telling us this then if it is against the rules?" The blue-haired woman asked, tilting her head slightly in question, trying to hide her own anxieties behind a mask of curiosity. "Because you are meant to know." Was all she said, before turning and leaving the room. "Remember that no one should know, this is an order from the Queen herself, and from me as well, there will be great penalties on our part if the future is revealed, do not disappoint me in this decision." She disappeared, sighing sadly, she had never wished to speak so gravely or so imperiously with her best friends, her sisters, her fellow soldiers and companions, but the situation was grave and it will increase in intensity, she could not afford feelings, especially personal ones to seep through her resolve now! She was a soldier first and foremost. She had no room for love. Walking slowly through the corridors, she found herself in front of the library; its silver moon handles gleaming under the soft glow of lights. Pulling it open she stepped in and walked to the furthest of shelves before pulling out an ancient looking book, its pages worn, seeming as if having gone through millions of handlings and hundreds of years. "...And if thou lovst me dearst of loves, thou would let me go, and leave me in my miseries, where fate had set me down and I alone shall venture on without you holding me or by my side, I shall carry on alone. Until the night will come and take me down from my high pedestal with the sun, let me love thee in secret and alone. Leave me to my miseries with the waning of the moon, crying my tears until they congeal onto the velvet sky, shining and sparkling like cool diamonds too cool to touch, too far to have, and leave me with the stars. For if you lovst me dearst of loves, you would set me free and leave me be, for I can only drag you down; and too soon, too soon the time will come and take you away from my cold embrace. Leave me be, oh leave me be with my solemnest of goodbyes and tears, leave me to the solitude and loneliness that can be my only company. Oh leave me be, leave me be, let me love you alone in my dreams, for only then can I admit, that it is you that I long for and you that I need. Leave me be for fate is against us again, and cruel destiny has tied the knot too soon and too late cut is it to set us free, too late cut for me to live without the pain of eternity to leave me be. Leave me to my miseries, alone with my solitude of loneliness and love, and let me love you in silence and alone. For I will love you, onto eternity..." She sighed softly, but she did not cry, even if she could feel the hot warm moisture burning her eyes. Blinking them away furiously, she finally was able to regain composer after a long while, breathing softly in relief she turned and ran into a wall. It was him. "What!" The blond asked in surprise. "You can't mean that you told him!" She almost broke down and cried then, she had to have been mad indeed. "I-he took me by surprise, that's all." She looked down at her hands and sighed, she shouldn't have been reading that poem, she shouldn't have been so distracted that she didn't notice him when he had entered, and most importantly she shouldn't have let him see her cry. "My goodness Rei-chan how could you?" "He should know!" She retorted. "You could get killed doing that, exposing your weakness to the enemy!" The blonde said worriedly, and finally stopped pacing around the room. "Do you?" She finally asked when the silence begun to really sink in. "Yes, I cannot hide it from him forever, and it is better said now then never." She shrugged, for she really didn't want to think about what had happened. "Even if he is a traitor?" The blonde asked, her eyes flashing. "You still love Kunzite-kun, and they have not yet betrayed us." She said defensively, but she knew the other had a point. "I have not told him anything." The blonde said defiantly. "You should, there will never be a chance again after this." "I don't want him to have that advantage." She stated and turned around, her fists and the tensing of her shoulders where the only things that gave away the intense emotions that the blonde was suppressing. "There is no law against love Minako-chan, you of all people should know that. Be it traitors or lovers, we are indeed no better than the rest, than evil, if we deny this of our hearts." The dark- haired woman rose and set her hand on the blonde's trembling shoulder. "Tell him." She commanded softly. "Never!" The blonde cried, swirling around and backing away from her friends grasp, the worried and startled look on the dark-haired woman's face could not hide the pain and rejection she felt. "Never." The other spun around and ran out of the room, leaving the dark-haired woman alone, pondering what is to happen next, what else could go wrong in her life now that she was indeed alone. "In the end there is no one but the self." She said softly, and a single tear slip through the tightly shuteyes, hiding the pain beneath. Fate is cruel as is destiny, and in the end no love can ever reach me, loneliness is my only companion. "Be kind and set me free, where love can never reach me and leave me with only pain and tears to remember what had passed me by." She quoted bitterly from the book, and slowly her eyes opened, but there was only hard purple now, like cold lavender gems, hiding all emotions, and locking the soul away from the pain of love. "I cannot love you." Was his only answer, one that echoed in her mind, and she knew it would always be this way. ...How hope seemed to flutter ...and then leave us in the dusk again... * * * "No!" The crumbling palace floors, the walls, the tapestry, it was all happening again. The screams of agony, the feeling of helplessness, the destruction, just like in her nightmarish dreams, only this was not a dream, the wound that the last youma she had slain had confirmed it and was her only proof. The blood was now hardened and crusted on her arm, and the pain pounded itself into her brain. Drowsiness and fatigue had settled into her bones from hours of fighting against the seemingly endless army of evil. She already knew who she was looking for, for the meeting was unavoidable, and she was unsure if she could go through with it. Her heart was unwilling to do the actions she knew was necessary, one needed to win this war, her feelings would have to come second now. "Iie!" A war scream was heard and she looked startled to see the crazed eyes of another staring at her as it charged, acting upon instinct she whipped up her sword and plunged it into the soft body, only when the scream of pain snapped her out of her warrior trance did she realize how small it was. It was but a child, a dying crazed child, but a child nonetheless. She gasped in surprise and caught the flaying body as it fell backwards, screaming insane words, half out of pain and half out of hate. "Iie!" It was her this time, eyes blurring with guilty tears. "Iie!" She screamed again, lightly shaking the body that had suddenly gone completely still in her arms, "Don't you dare die on me!" She yelled, holding the now pale, cold body, one that seemed too fragile to be the threat that it had seemed but moments before. The blood soaked through her uniform, making the material cling to her body, it was not her blood. She could drive herself crazy this way, she realized it in a flash of brightness, Venus! Her friends, they needed her, she could not wallow in her own guilt and despair now. She got up reluctantly to head toward the flashing of lights, cutting her way through the youma army, she did not want to waste her energy yet with magik, there was little time and it took too much out of her. She was taught to live on her sword and it had kept her alive so far. "Mars! We're so glad you finally made it!" The auburn haired senshi said with a sigh of relief. "Hai!" The blue-haired senshi agreed, before calling on her element and blowing another hole in the coming army. Venus stayed silent, the two had been like that since the day Mars had urged her to express her feelings, but it was really the betrayal of the Generals that had cut off all communications between the two friends. "Hai." She said softly, even when the others frowned slightly at the silence. "What happened to you Mars?" The auburn senshi asked, suddenly realizing the splattered blood on the dark-haired senshi's uniform, and the disheveled look on her face. "Fire Soul!" She screamed and took out an entire chunk out of the coming army, ignoring the question she pretended that she didn't hear which wasn't hard since the armies that were fought were loud and screams were everywhere, echoing death everywhere. "You can never have her! You hear me?" It was a command, not a question. And he frowned, annoyed and fearful for her welfare, he did not wish for her to be hurt because of him. "She is mine and we both knows it." He replied arrogantly. "Damn you! Damn you!" The blond man across form him screamed in anger and frustration, bitterly shaking his head. The two looked extremely alike, only their eyes were different, one had golden eyes, the other a cool-blue. "Damn you brother, I curse you, curse you that you may be doomed to never be with her, not in love, not ever again!" The other shouted in rage. "Iie!" ...And the future is unchangeable... ...we realize... Suddenly the army of the youma retreated, and before them stood four men, beyond them was seven dark shadows and a woman, hair red as blood flowing down to the ground and eyes gleaming with the look of the possessed. "So dear senshi, we finally meet." The woman smiled, "I've heard a great deal about you, and I must say, you sound...pathetic." The thing laughed, and soon hundreds of thousands menacing laughter followed. The blue-haired senshi tapped her right ear for a moment and a blue colored visor appeared as a long extended mouthpiece formed, extending form her ear to her lips. A computer soon followed as the senshi furiously typed away, trying to discover weak points, and gasped in shock at what she had found. "We're surrounded, aren't we Mercury?" The blonde asked with distaste. "No, not just that my dear." The four men stepped forward, as the light of crimson fires of burning corpses revealed their faces. They had all known this for sometime now, all anticipated it in their own way, but in their own way none of them was ready. "Have fun girls!" The woman laughed and disappeared. Neither side moved for a moment, one from shock and dismay that the future was indeed unavoidable, that there was no more hope for their own souls, and the other simply searching for a weak point, perhaps even a signal to attack. "So Senshi, have you missed us?" The long-blond general asked with a cruel smile while the rest of the General's smirked at the comment. "We will never let you win! Traitors!" The auburn-haired senshi screamed out a war cry and begun to charge, the blue-haired girl cried out a warning but it was too late, the battle ensued. The blonde-haired senshi shot a worried glance at the dark-haired senshi who returned the look, but the message was clear, there was to be no more mercy, no more love, no more hope. This would be our last battle-field their eyes seemed to say, whether we live or not, this will be our last. How wrong they were about this, for the fates were never fair or merciful, as is time, and all those who are wise or old should know that promises were made to be broken. They were born too be soldiers, they would die as soldiers, they would rise back as soldiers. There could be and would be, no other way around this. The youma came in hoards, and blood and screams washed the ground and marred the skies, innocence would never return again until a new birth is given. War is death, death is life, and they, the ones who create it, will forever suffer the consequences for that of other's happiness. The soldiers fought bravely, their blood staining the once pure ground of the moon, their agony breaking away where silence and peace and even a bit of idleness, had once settled. And somehow away from it all stood the senshi and their Generals, their Princes of the Night, "This is the end." The mint-silver haired general stated with a grim, but menacing look. "We had always known that duty was above all else Kunzite." The blond-haired senshi said with an equally grim look, but hers held sorrow and perhaps even regret at the words that she had never uttered, and it was now, when it was too late did she realize that the dark- haired senshi's warning had been correct, this mistake was one she would regret forever. "I did not think that you would be so traitorous as to turn your back on that of honor and duty, I was wrong indeed you are no better than the rest of them..." She forced the tears back, she would never cry, not now anyway. "Hai, I had always thought that loyalty and reverence was what had always been your strong point, I too had miscalculated, you are nothing but ordinary men, greedy and untouched, unable to be touched by love or understanding." The dark-haired woman said bitterly, perhaps she was the most knowing one of this event, but to her, this betrayal ran deeper, harder, and yet she felt empty, like that night on the balcony when she had first, perchance, caught the eyes of a man she could've loved, should've loved, but she knew now that that too was not meant to be, he could not love her. For the empty look within his eyes mixed with admiration was not confusion but the lack of it or any emotion. Like other men, he only saw her as a face in a million faces, another woman to perhaps distract him for a time before moving on, she could never forgive him even if her heart, no her soul, would always belong to him, but she could never allow her heart to feel this love, she would go mad if touched by it, if she is not already there. "What? You are pathetic, to let your hearts be moved by such a silly thing as love." The dark-haired general laughed, his voice still musical, still deep and melodious and beautiful, still having the ability to sweep her away. The auburn-haired senshi frowned. "This has nothing to do with love." She stated with a hard glint in her eyes, she had fought battles a million times before, but it was only this once that she found that she had no stomach for, and wished for death to come and take her away, but duty had and always will - even now - tie her down to the ground. She had her princess to protect; she would not let her heart get in the way of it. In a way, she realized, she was no better than a youma, no better than that thing that looked like her beloved. There were no room for it now, no room. "And what is it then if not for love?" The shorthaired blond general asked, his smile mocking, his ice-fire eyes held no more flames, no more warmth. "This is war." The blue-haired senshi said, one hand gripping tightly to the hilt of her sword, the other transforming her computer to an invisible keyboard at which she typed away at with her free hand. "This is duty, this is not love, love can only kill now, love will die and it will never rise again." She stated bleakly, her eyes lacking the warm blue that once had drawn the arrogant Prince to her and melt away the icy coldness of the longhaired blond general's heart, but it was missing now. "Very poetic don't you agree?" The longhaired blond general asked, but attacked, soon all out war broke between the two parties. Splitting into groups, the two head senshi - Venus and Mars - faced off with the two head generals - Kunzite and Jadeite - and Jupiter and Mercury fought with the remaining two generals. "Venus, love and beauty shock!" Blowing the deadly kiss that tore a chunk out of the head general's left shoulder. "Fire soul!" The dark-haired senshi weaved the flames out, charring uniforms and burning flesh. "Pathetic!" Jadeite cried and lounged toward her with his sword flashing menacingly, gleaming unmercifully like fate, she blocked it with her own. The fighting continued, match after match until both sides were tired, but stubbornness kept the fighting going on. Suddenly a cry of pain was heard and soft blue fell to the ground from the corner of the dark-haired senshi's eyes, but it totally distracted Jupiter, who cried out in shock and pain, but Nephrite prevented latter from running to aid her friend, and in a fit of rage, the sword sliced through Nephrite's flesh, sending the crazed senshi from a fit of rage to total sorrow as she stared down at her bloodied hands, letting go her sword in a clutter and cried out in pain, throwing herself toward the fallen general. But either by a harsh twist of fate, or simple revenge, the dark General used his last strength to thrust his sword into Jupiter, sending shock through her body. She fell, her eyes locked on him the whole way, accusation, love, hate and mayhaps even a hint of forgiveness that was beginning to blossom, shining in her dying eyes. Unfortunate for the two, time was not an element that was on their side, forgiveness would not have time to blossom this time, instead, her tears were shed in anger and betrayal, her last cry being that of a battle cry, her last call was for revenge. Them, locked in a fatal embrace of hate and love, died in the way of soldiers, and lovers who could not love because there was no chance for that to blossom either in war, where only hate resides. The blond senshi cried then, for her soldiers, her friends, her teammates, and the taunts of a man whom she formally loved did not help, nor her tears. Jumping away, she turned to Zoisite, who was still seemingly shocked and holding the blue-haired senshi in his arms, her body pale and was outwardly smaller, murmuring something over and over again. Venus, acting much like Jupiter at that moment, ran over, sword held high as she raised it to behead him. He glanced up only once, his eyes, shining with tears, looking at her yet not seeing her, did he then smile - a peaceful smile - as her sword came down and met flesh, his last words on his lips, ones that echoed to the end of the blond senshi's days, "The ice that melted into love." The mint-silver haired general was not pleased, and came after her; he was but a few meters away when she killed the curly-haired blond general. "You shall pay dearly Venus." He cried, as he charged at her, his eyes cold, the violet-blue empty as black voids, her sword came up just fast enough to run him through, but it had cause her dearly, for the blood that stained her uniform was not only his, but her own. Taking a ragged breath she laughed, or croaked, since the contrasting of her stomach muscles was painful, especially around the blade. "I love you Kunzite, and I hate you!" She told him, kissing him forcefully on the lips looking deeply into his startled, hate filled eyes, before hers went blank and her grip lessened till she was only slumped against him. The hilt of her sword suddenly snapped, as if the sword was apart of her soul, and when the soul died, the sword would join its owner, and perhaps in a way it was and had always been apart of her, the leader, with her sword of love and hope. "I love...Minako-chan." His eyes softened, and for the first and the final time, he let his heart, his soul shine through - past his mindless need for duty - but for a minute and kissing her gently on the lips, even through all the pain, did he collapsed, their bodies fallen to the ground. "Iie! Minako-chan!" The dark-haired senshi cried out in despair, distracted when she saw the last fall of her leader, her beloved sister of her heart, her best friend, dead in the embrace of a man the blonde could not admit love to but in those last, devastating moments. It pained her so much so that she forgot all about the man she was battling, about the man she had told her heart to but was rejected. Her soul had shattered so much more then, there could be no more forgiveness, it was too late even if he was the other half of it. She forgot the war, everything but her best friend, her sister. "Mina-" She should have known he would take all the advantages, even the most low and devious one, he was a winner, he would win at all costs. She did not fall, she refused to fall now, she too was a winner, and with that, she kicked him even as she felt the blade rip her insides, even as she felt the rough force of the pull that left her screaming in agony, blood spurring out of her stomach where the steel was once embedded there. Her blade slicing the ground as she desperately fought to stay up. Gathering every last fiber of her being, knowing the attack would kill her, she begun to chant the ancient words of power. "I call upon the power of Mars, release me...release me..." She softly whispered. "Mars Power Ignite!" The flames shot from every pore, every fiber of her soul until she felt her very being engulfed in the heat. Her fragile form rose from the ground, and all of a sudden, flames shot from her body, forming a bright cross of fire that imprinted the sky, a war cry rang through the fields as she slowly opened her empty violet-eyes and faced the outside world once again. His black-golden form merged with the darkness came upon her, "Gomen nasai Jade-chan, gomen nasai." She whispered to him sadly, for then and only then did she realize the truth - in that last statement given to him so long ago - as the came together, his sword stabbing her in the chest, while her fire engulfed his form. There never was and never would be a time that would be on better terms than this, this ultimate sacrifice had confirmed it. They were enemies, they were betrayers and they were soul mates; ones that had committed this crime and like her comrades, she knew there could never be a togetherness in any form of the matter. They were taken by the flames, and for one eternity, they were together, purged of guilt and sin, it was the heaven that those earthlings had always been seeking for but the moment had ended, her only reminder were his remaining ashes that clung to her hair and flesh and uniform before it too dispersed to nothingness. No remains, her heart whispered, no more to live for. She felt so tired, as if she had fought a battle - this battle - all her life, and in a way she had. "We were never meant to be." She remembered that song now, she remembered when she first heard it as a young and romantic, starry eyed girl, how she spurned it, believing love could concur over all things, that good would always win. But now she understood just how sorrowful it was, just how ironic. The tears slid down her cheeks, her violet-eyes closed flutter before all movements stilled and she fell, her long purple hair flying in the fluttering breeze as she dropped. I will love you forever, her soul whispered softly to the winds. Her body was already cold when it hit the ground, her tears mingled forever with her blood and his forgotten ashes, staining the ground for eternity and beyond for the wrongs done there. The breeze answered with a whisper. "Mercury? Can you hear me?" The voice of Artemis called out from the silent blue-haired woman's earpiece, faintly heard over the battlefield. "The Prince is dead." The silver-haired woman whispered, my friends are gone, my home is destroyed, there is no more hope in this life that death cannot offer. She moved over to the body of the dead blond senshi, and picked up the hilt of the royal sword, one that had somehow broke off in battle. "The Prince is dead." Her sad tears staining her gown as she stumbled over to his still body, disbelief still shinning in her once bright eyes, now dull, the radiance of innocence gone. Yet she watched him as a lover would watch over her soul mate as he dreams, "Wait for me, I am coming." She whispered softly, as she brought the poisoned blade to her wrists and slit them, watching her blood flow down her pale-silky flesh that he had loved so much to touch, as her blood fell like drops of tears and promises onto his skin, the world went black. A scream was heard over the field of corpses, the Queen had lost the war. But with her last breath, the old Queen sealed the new Queen and sent all of her children into the future, hoping that this time fate would not be so cruel to them as it had this time. She was wrong in this as well, but fate could never be so cruel again, it was crueler. In the end the Senshi overthrew the new Queen and brought the rightful heir of the Moon Kingdom Princess to the throne and built Crystal Tokyo, but fate had taken their soul mates while they were ignorant of their enemies and of themselves, and condemned them to an eternity of duty to a Queen that they loved, and yet, to loneliness as well; one that they could not escape but in death. ...Good or Bad... ...We are all Damned. We were never meant to be, We could not love so easily. Nor give our hearts away for free, Like in days of youth and romantic dreams. I was truly your meant to be, But that never mattered to you or me. On this battlefield of trials, Where we traded our souls for greed and betrayals. And in the end we found it true, The harsh realities cutting through. That love is like a rose in bloom, But all of beauty will but wilt in gloom. And leave us not but with grief and miseries, To stain our hearts, and deem it true, That fate is as cruel as the Gods above, That we were never meant to be; You and Me... ...But the end is only the beginning... The End. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know, I know, it's kind of depressing and it's not a happy ending, but I felt that this is the tragedy of the Sailor Senshi, that to be heroes they had to give up that part of life and love. I also made it that the generals did not lose their memories, maybe that point didn't come out too clear, but I felt that in the end they had indeed betrayed the Senshi and it was because of duty, because they felt that there was another chance in the new Queen (Beryl), that responsibility for the future was more important than their own needs for love, and in the end both sides turned out to be wrong, for when one stop fighting for love that is when all things becomes meaningless. Oh, look at all this serious yammer! Actually, all I have meant to say is that, hope you enjoyed the tale. If you have any questions or comments, please, write to me at: blue@icedream.f2s.com Hope you liked it! I'd just like to say that I don't own ANYTHING, so there! I claim nothing that belongs to SM, so don't sue me or anything silly like that 0;) I'd like to thank Chaos-chan, and Ken Wolfe, and various other writers that inspired me to come up with something original, and reminded me at times that gets bleak, why I write. Arigato! Read their stories!! I recommend Chaos-chan's Dream World Series (It's so kawii!) and Ken Wolfe's well, ALL of it, but one of my fav is Last Act. Domo Arigato for spending the time for reading my fic everyone! Blue PS. If I spelt Beryl's name wrong, it's because, well, i don't like Beryl and I was too lazy to look up how to spell it. Hopefully it is correct *cross her fingers and wishes REALLY hard*, if not i apologize for the horrid spelling error...please, if you want to think of me as an idiot, go right ahead, but I like to classify myself as a procrastinator and a very lazy one at that ^^' Ja! Blue