"Two weeks huh?" Well... hmmm.... what can I say? Oooops?! Sorry?! Oh minna I'm truly sorry, but I really thought I would be able to finish this in two weeks, unfortunately it turned out to be more complicated than what I thought... Will you ever forgive me? I hope you do, because if you don't then I won't send stories anymore (Oooh! *that* was rude!, but don't worry I was just kidding ^_^) Oh! I almost forgot, my e-mail address has changed, it is no longer dasha@mpsnet.com.mx but sailor_dafne@starmedia.com Do you like it? Well if you don't at least I do and that's what matters, right? But why did I change it? you may ask. Well, it's a long story, though I think you can figure it out.... Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this, probably it isn't one of my best chapters (hey! I've been saying this lately, haven't I?), but I think it explains many things. If you have any doubts, comments, suggestions, flames, congratulations (I personally prefer these ones!) or ANYTHING to say then e-mail me... Enough Dafne! We want to read the story! Rating: PG (I think) By: Dafne Usual disclaimer applied. Rose's tears Chapter 4 "Mrs. Tsukino, has your daughter ever suffered from hemophilia?" "WHAT? Excuse me sir, but my daughter is the healthiest young lady you'll ever know." *Although she doesn't seem right now* I hear her mutter under her breath. "How can you ask such a question?" cries Mrs. Tsukino trying to get up from the couch but failing miserably because Mr. Tsukino holds her tightly in place. Ikuko turns to look at her husband but when she recognizes the warning look on his eyes she realizes it's useless to struggle. Finally she gives up and sighs defeatedly. After a few minutes of tense silence the doctor clears his throat and we all fix our eyes on him. When he knows he's got our whole attention he says solemnly "I know you're shocked, Mrs. Tsukino, but I dare to say that the whole staff that works at this hospital is even more bewildered by your daughter's disease" "What do you mean?" asks Mrs. Tsukino worriedly. The doctor sighs and looks at her pitifully before continuing with his explanation. "As you probably know hemophilia is a hereditary mortal disease that can kill in just a matter of days if you don't take the appropriate precautions. Most of the times hemophilics tend to suffer from it since they are born, however there are special cases in which they don't develop this sickness until they grow up" "What you're trying to tell me is that you are entirely sure my Usagi suffers from hemophilia? I mean, there's no other option?" asks Mrs. Tsukino in between sobs. When she looks up at the doctor's face her eyes shine, not from her unshed tears, but from a small ray of hope. "We really don't know, your daughter has the main symptoms of the disease, but..." "But what?" we all ask in unison. "But... that's not possible!" he exclaims. Now wait a minute, what's is he trying to tell us? I mean, just a moment ago he practically told us that Usagi is dying from hemophilia and now he's just saying that that's not possible? Come on doc, make up your mind, is Usagi a hemophilic or not, simple as that. "What do you mean?" I finally ask. The doctor turns to look at me. "Well, you see, from the outside Usagi looks like a normal hemophilic, but she CAN'T possibly be a hemophilic..." he looks at all of us and when he notices he hasn't cleared our doubts yet he continues "...because there are no hemophilic women, they only carry the germ and inherit it to their sons, but they never suffer from it." "And what does that mean?" asks Mrs. Tsukino, now more worried than before. "Well, it can be one of two things.... either your daughter is the first woman to develop this fatal illness because of a genetic mutation of the DNA or she is the carrier of a totally new one. Whatever the case... we don't have a cure". Mrs. Tsukino lets out a desperate, tearing, high - pitched scream before collapsing into her husband's arms and begin to sob heartbreakingly. None of us wants to believe what the doctor has just said; we can't get over the fact that our dearest friend's life is at stake. We don't want to accept that Usagi, the most cheerful, loving, and caring girl the world will ever know will no longer exist; she won't be here to cheer us up when we're down and she won't be able to brighten our day with her comforting words and kind smile. Besides, we won't have the chance to hear her jolly laughter anymore... I clench my fists so tightly I can feel the blood draining out of them. *Does that mean Usagi is going to die because of some stupid unknown disease? NO! It can't be true!* I think as tears start to fall down from my shimmering violet eyes. I pound my whitened fists against the wall while feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and loneliness begin to invade my mind and soul. *Usagi is going to die... Usagi is dying, Usagi is going to die... Usagi is dying, Usagi is going to die... Usagi is dying...* my subconscious repeats over and over again driving me nearly insane. I hold my head tightly with both hands, trying frantically to silence the damned voice, but instead of leaving me alone it starts to get even louder. When I can't bear it any longer I scream at the top of my lungs "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Everyone turns to look at me, surprised by my sudden outburst of emotion. When I finally manage to control myself I lift my head and turn my tear stained face towards the stunned doctor. "What do you mean by saying 'we don't have a cure'? Aren't you supposed to save people's lives no matter what? Excuse me, but I'm not going to stay with my arms folded waiting for the worst. I'm not letting Usagi die, do you understand me? You ARE going to find the cure for my friend's disease, is that clear enough?" The doctor's wide-opened eyes are staring at me dumbfounded and he stays that way for quite a while before finally recovering his self- control. "I'm sorry miss," he says "but I believe that doesn't depend on me. Let me assure you that right now our scientists are working very hard on this particular case; we are all doing our best, but I don't think we'll be able to achieve what you're asking for in such a short period of time. Anything is possible, I'm aware of that, but at this moment we can't rely on luck, miracles, or fate, nor we can challenge science. So, unfortunately, for the time being the only thing we can do is wait and hope everything goes well." While he was speaking my tears didn't stop rushing out of my eyes, therefore they're swollen and my vision is a blur. "Is that all?" I ask him containing my ragged sobs and trying to sound as calm as possible. He looks at me with compassion and says, "I'm afraid it is" Suddenly I feel as if I'm losing all my strength; my legs begin to stagger, but before I collapse to the floor Makoto-chan and Minako- chan grab me by the arms to give me support. Then they help me make my way towards the couch to sit and calm down. As soon as I settle myself I cry my heart out on Makoto's shoulder while she strokes my hair comfortingly. I can tell the girls are saying words of encouragement, but I'm too overwhelmed by today's painful events that I really don't pay attention to them. However I do notice they're crying too... 5 minutes later... After a while I finally manage to get a hold of my emotions, however my eyes are still burning and I can feel a lonely teardrop running down my cheek. I push Makoto gently in order to get out of her soothing embrace. I stand up, wipe my tears away, dust my dress, and then walk towards the doctor. When I'm about two feet away from him I offer him my hand. He looks down at it and then back at me with a confused look on his face. "Sorry for my rudeness, but I guess I wasn't prepared for this tragic news. I'm sure you'll do everything you have at hand to help my friend. By the way, my name's Hino Rei" I say as I attempt to smile a little bit. He smiles at my sudden politeness and friendliness and then shakes my hand firmly "I'm Dr. Ohara at your service miss Hino" he says. I nod "Nice to meet you Dr. Ohara. Now... can we see Usagi?" "Of course, I'll escort you to her room. Follow me." * * * * * I really don't know how much time I've been unconscious, but I suppose it has been more than a couple of hours. When I open my eyes I find myself lying on a bed that is obviously not mine. I turn my gaze away from the white ceiling to look down at my still throbbing hands and I'm surprised to find my arms covered by tubes. I want to scream but it seems that I've lost my voice due to my shock. Frantically I look at my new surroundings whipping my head from side to side trying to memorize each and every little detail. To my right there's a small bedside table with a metal tray on it that has several medicine bottles, tablets, a glass and jug full of water and finally the one thing I fear the most (even more than thunder) and makes me shiver just by the mention of it: a syringe. By now I've already figured out I'm in a hospital's room... *but why? I just fainted for God's sake! Yeah, I know, I might have been senseless for quite a long time but... it was not going to last forever. Geez!, my parents are WAY overprotective and TOO exaggerated.* I think. However I set aside all this thoughts as I continue to look at my chamber... Also to my right but farther away there's a big window that leads to a balcony decorated by dozens of beautiful and exotic plants and flowers (AN: I don't know if hospital rooms are like this, but hey! they're gloomy enough, don't I have the right to make them a little bit more comfortable? ^_^) Judging by the silver light spreading throughout the room and taking into consideration I lost consciousness at about 8:00 PM I suppose it's sometime around midnight. I turn my head away from the window to direct my gaze towards the TV set that is hanging from the top of the right corner ahead of me. *I wonder where's the remote control....* I try to move from my lying position but it doesn't take me long to realize I'm totally paralyzed. The first time I looked at myself I really didn't pay attention, I was so shocked I couldn't focus on what I was doing, but now that I'm more serene I can. Once again I stare down at my hands and realize that even though they're bandaged my blood is still gushing out of me, I can feel it and the red stain covering the cloth only confirms it. The pain I thought was already gone comes back to me full force, but it's strange, my hands are not the ones bothering me... *Oh my dear Mamo - chan, see what you've caused? Since you shattered my heart into million pieces it has been bleeding uncontrollably. For two long weeks I've been suffering, shedding tears every night hoping that would help me forget and get rid of all this pain. However it never left me, quite the opposite... every day that went by I felt as if a thousand daggers were piercing through my chest and stabbing right into my heart making it bleed even more and causing a deeper agony. Now that the vital fluid of life, confined within my body for so long, has found a way out I feel more relieved knowing that my torture will soon come to an end. Yet there's a part of me that doesn't want to give up, that wants to fight against anything and anyone, even Death, as long as life doesn't slip out of its grasp, and I know that this struggle between Light and Darkness will make my last moments agonizing. It will take quite a while before my soul decides to give up to the eternal, sweet, and lethal embrace of Doom* I close my eyes and smile bitterly at my dreadful thoughts before allowing myself to fall into a restless slumber. AUTHOR'S NOTES: That's it for now, I was planning to make it longer, but if I didn't end it here this chapter wouldn't have been ready until next week, and I think I've already taken a LONG time with it. Another thing, I just wanted to tell you that there are 2 more chapters to go, and since I'm planning to finish this as soon as possible I'd like to know which story I'll write when it comes to an end (Geez Dafne!, you haven't even finished it and you're already thinking of a new story? You're crazy! *Well, maybe I am* ^_^). I believe your opinion is very important, so I made a list of all the stories I have in mind so you can tell me which one do you prefer. Secrets of the heart: a first season story inspired by the songs "Have you ever really loved a woman" and "Tell him", it includes a prologue, 3 chapters, and maybe, just maybe, an epilogue. A Romeo and Juliet story: alternate universe. Winning a man's heart: an alternate universe story. Regaining a lost love: a story based on Neo-Queen Serenity's fanfic "I used to be a foolish girl". A dream comes true: an alternate universe story (I'm not quite sure, but it'll probably be a one-part story) A Valentine's day surprise: a one-part story. I know, I know, I don't give too many details, but maybe the title helps you make your decision. Oh!, and if you think these are the only stories I'll write then don't worry, I have other ones in mind, but since they don't really have a plot this is all I've got for now. If by any chance you would like to know more about the story you favored just let me know, ok? Oh!, and for those of you who are reading this and are waiting for "A real princess" chapter 8 I'd like to inform you that I've been working on it, but since it's a VERY long and complicated chapter I really don't know when will I have it ready. But don't worry, it won't take me more than two weeks (I hope so....) Before I go I would like to thank Andrea and Artemis for being kind enough to publish my work in their totally cool SM page (I really like the new look of it!), Hotaru and Nancy for their friendship and support, and also all the people who have taken their time to e-mail me (especially Usagi and Miaka). You guys are great, I luv ya! Oh!, and sorry for these LOOOOOONG author's notes. Besos y abrazos para todos!!!! Wednesday July 7th, 1999. 9:40 PM