"Long as I Can See the Light"
by:  Bunny Rose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Konichiwa minna! Well, here is my very first fanfic (go easy on the 
flames, okay?).  The idea came to me when I was listening to the Credence 
Clearwater Revival song "Long as I Can See the Light."  Anyway, I don't want 
to ramble so: This is a break up fic; about how Usagi and Mamoru might have 
gotten back together.  This story changes from Usagi to Mamoru's perspective. 
 Please enjoy! (Oh yeah, if you're looking for really good stories, go check 
out Alicia Blade's work-I promise you romance and fun if you do!)

Disclaimer: Anything that you think is poorly written doesn't belong to 
me??really, I don't know where it came from.  Anything you like, I wrote.  
Mamo-chan should belong to me, but unfortunately doesn't.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Mamoru's P.O.V.)

"Put a candle in the window, 'cause I feel I've got to move.
Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,
'Long as I can see the light."

    I can feel my stomach doing crazy flip-flops.  I am so nervous I think I 
might get sick.  My hands are shacking and my heart is beating so fast.  I 
want to get to Usako's house, yet I don't.  
    You might be wondering why on Earth would I want to not get to the house 
of the girl...no, the angel?who I am madly and helplessly in love with.  It 
could be because once I get there, I will know just how much she loves me, 
maybe if she does at all, simply by looking up to her bedroom window and 
perhaps (if dreams really do come true) there is a candle burning there. 

Let me start at the beginning??.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(still Mamoru's P.O.V.)
    
I don't know why I'm the idiot that I am.  I mean, to break up with the girl 
of your dreams over some nightmare is pretty stupid.  My life is so empty 
without her.  How did I ever live before I met her?  How am I supposed to 
live now?  Now that I've had a taste of heaven, and now that I've thrown it 
all away.  Usako has always brought light and joy into my life, along with 
love.  So what I want to know is, how do I get her back?  How do I get her to 
forgive me and still love me?  To hell with nightmares, I've gotta' think of 
something, and I've gotta' think quick.  I'm starting to go into Odango 
withdrawals.  All of a sudden I find myself buying a whole lotta' spaghetti 
because it reminds me the girl I love.  Yes, what I need is a plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Usagi's P.O.V.)

    I let the tears flow freely, tired of holding them back.  How could 
Mamo-chan do this to me?  When I love him so much, and I know he loves me, 
how could he do this?  The strange thing is, when I look into his eyes I can 
see that he's suffering as much as I am.  No, more.  The sheer pain and hurt 
he holds in his eyes now.  Why is he such a baka?  And why do I still love 
that baka so darn much?  To hell with crying, what I need is a plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Mamoru's P.O.V.)

    I head to the one place I know I will run into Usako sooner or later-the 
arcade.  Hopefully it will be sooner instead of later?
    I have my plan all figured out.  I'm going to use the direct approach.  
I'm just gonna' go up to Usako and say: "I'm sorry I'm an idiot.  Do you love 
me anyway?  Let's forget all this and fulfill our destiny and get married, 
have Chibi-Usa, and rule the world like we are meant to."  Jesus does that 
sound terrible even to me.  I can't say that to her!  That was the only plan 
I could come up with?!?  Jesus, I am an idiot!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Usagi's P.O.V.)

    There he is!  I knew I'd see him at the arcade!  Okay, I can do this.  
I'll I need to do is seduce him a little.  That shouldn't be too hard.  
Please, please don't let me klutz out now!  
    Good, Mamo-chan's just sitting at a table alone.  It helps my plan that 
no one's with him.  Anyway, if he were with another girl, I'd kill them b-Why 
is Mamo-chan banging his head on the wall?  Oh boy.  Well, I can't have a 
brain dead boyfriend so I better go put a stop to this.
    "Mamo-chan?  What are you doing?"
    He looks up at me, wide-eyed.  Then blushes a deep red.  Damn he's cute.
    "Umm?Hi Usako?How long have you been standing there?"
    "Long enough.  Look, I was kinda' hoping we could talk?"
"Usako...I don't know?There's nothing to?"
    I give him my best pout.  Bottom lip trembling, eyes starting to water.
    "Okay."  He says in a defeated tone of voice.
    Works every time.
    "Why don't we go walk in the park?so we can have some privacy?"
    He looks like he is about to decline?that is until he looks around and 
sees the faces of all the senshi leering at us from a booth not far away.  
They all duck, trying to hide from our view.  I can hear several noises of 
pain, along with Mako-chan whisper "Rei, get your elbow out of my face!" very 
loudly.
    "Right?I think we had better go."  I knew Mamo-chan would make the right 
choice.  Once I get him to our little bench of love I'm sure he'll start to 
see things my way.  Okay, so the only plan I could come up with was to get 
him to kiss me.  One little kiss should make him see what he's missing.  At 
least that's what I'm hoping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Mamoru's P.O.V.)

    Even my lame plan would have been okay, as long as I had told her right 
away how I feel.  Now here I am being dragged to the park.  If I even see 
that bench of ours, I think I'll break down in tears and just throw myself at 
her feet begging for forgiveness.  Hopefully that won't happen?Oh no!  She's 
headed straight for it.  Dear Lord, why me?!?
    It's okay, Chiba.  Just stay calm?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Usagi's P.O.V.)

    I wonder why Mamo-chan looks so nervous?   Oh well, I can work with 
nervous.
    "Mamo-chan?" We both stop walking.  "I?I wanted to talk about us?I?I?" 
Why is this so hard?  I look at his face, into his eyes.  I can tell that no 
matter what I say will be painful for him.
    I look down at the ground.
    "I guess what I want to know is why."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Mamoru's P.O.V.)
 
I can tell she's dying to tell me something.  But if I don't say it all now, 
I might never get the courage back.  I step closer to her; I fight the urge 
to just kiss the daylights out of her.  She is so beautiful.  
"Please.  Forgive me.  Don't say anything.  I can't take rejection from you.  
I love you so much?I always will.  I know I've screwed up."  I realize I 
don't want her to see my heart break, I could never handle her pity when all 
I want is her love.  "I need to know if you could ever still love me.  If we 
can ever have a chance of the love we once had.  Look, tonight I'll go to 
you're house.  If the answer is yes, than put a candle in your bedroom 
window.  If the answer is no, leave it dark.  I don't want to know now.  At 
least this way I can pretend you had to think about it.  At least consider?I 
love you" 
With that I casually walked away?no?I ran like the dickens, not daring to 
look back and see her reaction.  This way if I find out the answer is no, 
that she doesn't love me, then I won't have to let her see how much that 
would hurt me.  Dear God, please let her have a light in her window.  A 
light, just like she shines brightly with love.  Please dear Lord let her 
forgive me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Usagi's P.O.V.)

    I stand there, too stunned to move for a few moments.  Then it slowly 
sinks in.  He loves me.  He wants my forgiveness.  He loves me.  If he had 
had the courage to wait for my answer, he would have been rewarded with a 
million kisses.  But I think of how lonely his life has been.  How hard he 
would have taken it if I had said no.  He would have been alone again.  That 
baka!  Like I'd say no to him.  I love him.  And he loves me.  I think I'll 
give him ten million kisses anyway.  He loves me!  Suddenly, I know what I 
must do.  I run all the way home, singing at the top of my lungs the whole 
way, "He loves me!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Mamoru's P.O.V.)

    So here I am.  On my way to Usako's house.  It's already dark out and I 
feel rain drops fall from the sky.  This better not be a bad omen.  Jesus I'm 
nervous.  And scared.  I don't think I can handle being alone again.  I start 
silently praying, as if that can change how she feels.  Usako loved me once, 
but can she still find it in her heart to do so now.  I wonder what I'll do 
if there is no candle?  I think I'll just leave, and never come back here.  
That would be too much pain.  The rain starts to fall harder.  The world is 
dark and cold around me.  I can't help but shiver.

Pack my bag and let's get movin', 'cause I'm bound to drift awhile.
When I'm gone, gone, you don't have to worry long,
'Long as I can see the light.

So put a candle in the window, 'cause I feel I've got to move.
Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,
'Long as I can see the light. 

    I close my eyes as I round the last corner, then realize that isn't a 
very smart thing to do while riding a motorcycle.  I'm afraid to look up to 
her window.  I keep my eyes on the ground in front of me.  I park my bike.  
And walk up in front of her house, eyes still glued to the ground.  I'm 
thoroughly wet by now, the rain soaking me.  It feels like the angels are 
weeping.  I slowly look up?And freeze.

So put a candle in the window, 'cause I feel I've got to move.
Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,
'Long as I can see the light.

    No, there isn't a single candle in my Usako's window.  There are hundreds 
of candles in every single window of her house.  They glow like magic, 
shining out into the cold, wet world.  Then it sinks in.  She loves me still. 
 She loves me.  But before another thought can pass through my mind, her 
front door opens and an angel comes running towards me.  She runs into my 
open arms, causing us both to fall over into the wet grass in front of her 
house.  We lay there, arms around each other, lying outside in the cold, but 
still feeling warmth. And I knew all was well with the world, because I had 
the one thing I really needed.  Love from Usako.  And I love her too.  We 
stayed outside for I don't know how long, doing nothing but feeling each 
other's love. We just lay there, kissing.


The End