AllyM25@aol.com AN: Well I hope you like this new chapter. It's pretty long, which I personally think is good for me and you readers, so I hope you enjoy it! E-mail me guys! Thanks to: EVERYBODY! Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Don't sue me. 'Nuff said. Pain Under Beauty Usagi raced after the new enemy and her heart hammered sharply against her chest. She was praying that Chibi-usa was fine and wouldn't be hurt by the time she got there. No, mustn't think about that now. She will be okay; Usagi wouldn't let any damage come to children even after they kicked her shin and landed on her already burning hand. Cursing loudly, Rubeus followed the rabbit to an abandon warehouse that was in the deep alley of this city, Tokyo. The warehouse looked at him with a lifeless glance and he grinned. What a fool she was! Trapping herself for his own special deeds in a place where nobody could hear her pleas and screams. Now he could use her to get the ginzuishou himself and Prince Demando would be so very pleased. Yes, he was going to go down in history for this. "Stop it right there buster! How dare you terrorize helpless children such as this one! I am Bishuojo Senshi Sailormoon and on behalf of the moon I will punish you!" the pigtailed heroine flashed a deadly glare at the man who was by far worse than any youma she has faced in her whole year of fighting. And, as God as her witness, she plan on beating this creature if it meant ending her life as well. Usagi all most wished it would; life had ended as soon as she found out Mamo-chan couldn't remember any significant detail of their last battle with Queen Beryl and her henchmen. All that they went through together was flushed away like the water that was quickly seeping down the rusted sewage pipes. Oh how she wish she could go back to those carefree days before she became crestfallen and entered depression. Ah depression, that was worse than all youmas and battles she had fought put together. "Sailormoon? Kisami! Nobody will get in the ways of my plans to conquer Crystal Tokyo! But all is fair in battle, so let me give you my name at least. Maybe it will even be printed on your tomb. The name is Rubeus of the Black Moon Family and don't forget it. Now Sailormoon, care to tango?" He snapped his fingers as he laughed harshly, an endless crackle that would haunt Usagi in her dreams and smoke slowly seeped in to the deserted warehouse. Well that was one worry she didn't have to fret about: no people to be damaged in this battle that was slowly becoming aware to Sailormoon. This battle was going to be different; how she knew that she haven't a clue. She just knew that this was going to change the course of life in a very consequential way. A shattering explosion rippled in to the sky and its vibration shook the ground with a deadly force. Sailormoon looked at the warehouse, fists up ready to attack at any notice, and waited to see what surprise was going to be given to her next. She was tired of all the shocks she had been given this day; all Usagi wanted was a long soak in the bath and a even longer night sleep. But that carefree worry immediately left her thoughts when she saw the youma bestowed upon her. She didn't have to wait long; hastily a putrescent youma appeared in the warehouse window, fangs slashing the wood in order to escape the prison it awakened in and teeth, a grotesque yellow that made Usagi hold her stomach in fear of throwing up, glistened in the brilliance of the sun with saliva slowly coursing its way down them. Sailormoon all most instinctively knew she was going to need backup. "Hey guys I need help here! Get your butts over to the abandoned warehouse on Kukira Lane on 13th street. AND YOU BETTER HURRY!" Usagi urged the last words out quickly before she dodged the first attack; the battle had started before she was even ready. *~* *~* *~* *~* Sailormoon rolled over the damp earth and groaned in pain from the gash in her right thigh that had blood gushing out of it. Red liquefying blood, her very own blood; Usagi never seen this before and it, frankly, scared the crap out of her. This fight wasn't going as she expected; nevertheless, the youma was now over her slashed body and raised its mighty head in a victorious cry. Oh no, this wasn't it was it? Usagi really didn't mean she wanted to end her life because of Mamo-chan not remembering anything! No, no, no! She was only fourteen years old; fourteen precious years that should only embark the beginning of a journey for normal teenagers. But she wasn't normal and this was the end of the road for Tsukino Usagi. "FIRE SOUL!" cried out Sailormars, appearing on top of the warehouse with a smirk on her face. The blaze of fire left her fingers and scorched the youma with brutal strength. Usagi had to hold in the foul mouthed words she wanted to call Rei for having saved her just in the nick of time. Oh sure, everybody had to add on the suspense but if it is one thing Usagi hates, it's suspense. Couldn't the senshi have used their attacks before she was helplessly laying under the youma that would most defiantly kill her in a minute. No, suspense was something Usagi hated. "About time you got here!" she scolded her team. "Think about if you had been just a minute or so late." Sailormoon shivered at the thought. No, now wasn't the time to think about that; she quickly put the idea in the back of her mind. Usagi'll think about that later, now she had to kill this beast. Sailorjupiter raised her fist and called to Usagi, "You want to see some a REAL attack? Mar's dinky flame throwing thingy is nothing compared to this! SUPREME THUNDER!" clamored Jupiter as she sent her attack hurdling at the now recovering youma. "And there is more where that comes from!" Sailorvenus searched frantically for any type of distress from her princess, and seeing that there was nothing, she sent her own attack out. "CRESENT BEAM, SMASH!*" The yellow light combined with Jupiter's lightning and had direct impact on the youma. The blood curling scream that escaped its lips was more than frightening; it was almost real, like a human's scream. "Finish it Sailormoon!" instructed Mercury after acknowledging that it was weak enough to be destroyed. "Okay Mercury! All right, take this scumbucket!" Moon reached for her tiara and whispered her own attack, "Moon. Tiara. Action!" Sailormoon pointed straight at the youma before spinning her tiara outwards; however, the outcome of the battle wasn't what she expected. Instead of evaporating like all the other evil spirits the senshi have fought, this discrete youma collapsed to the ground as a blinding white light surrounded its flaccid body. Shielding her eyes, Usagi sucked in her breath afraid of the results. This wasn't normal; this wasn't normal at all. Something in her heart was telling her that this was something of such sinister work that the senshi couldn't noticed that it was actually a... "Human! That wasn't a youma but a human!" screamed Sailormoon, astonished by the lifeless body laying unmoving on the ground. Oh God! She didn't just KILL a HUMAN?! No, Usagi couldn't do that; she always cured them with her crescent moon wand with the simple words of Moon Healing Escalation. How silly of her to think she could of possible, in any circumstances, kill someone of her own kind. But it was a human that had taken the place of the now departure youma. And the body was not moving indicating harshly that they had killed a human. The Sailor Senshi killed a breathing, thinking, living human; impossible has been made possible; vows of never using their powers to damage or hurt their own kind unless their soul was strictly evil were broken; sayings which were announced at ever beginning of battle about protecting their people were turned in to lies; the senshi have killed a single human, and not just that, it was only a little boy no older than Chibi-usa. "What have we done? What have we done!" begged Venus, grasping Jupiter's arm for support. All of sudden her legs couldn't support her and she fell to the ground in heart wrenching sobs. The sobs she cried when she had to leave England, the sobs she cried when she knew she lost Ami and Makoto at the North Pole; the sobs she cried when she watched in horror as her very own friends died helplessly before her very own innocent blue eyes. What have they done? And it was at this moment that Usagi's soul lost all meaning of life and will to live. She simply ceased to want to keep contact with this painful world of repugnance and hatred; this world that always caused her to shed never ending tears of despair and sorrow. No more, she couldn't have it anymore. Her heart wouldn't allow this irrational destiny rule her heart, her very own essence of life anymore. The final brick had been laid; nobody would be able to penetrate ever again in to her heart to bring only pain and suffering. She was a murderer and she hated herself to the very core of her existence on this useless planet. *~* *~* *~* *~* Rubeus watched the expressions on the senshi and began his crackle of a laugh. How stupid they were! How very, very half- witted these suppose saviors were! Couldn't they see that was a fake, a projection? Not even than girl with ocean colored hair could see through his plan; his plan that would allow him to finally gain the ginzuishou. His laugh turned in to a mighty roar as he saw himself being praised by Prince Demando and Wiseman. "Sailormoon," he said in a sick disgust. "I have found your one and only weakness and I plan to use that until you reached the brink of insanity." *~* *~* *~* *~* "What's wrong Usagi-san?" asked a worried Motoki as he watched Usagi twirl a straw absentmindedly in her coke. Usually she would be own her third or fourth cup but she has barely taken a sip of this one. Something was wrong with her; nevertheless, good old Motoki was going to find out what it was and make it better. Or so he hoped. He had no clue that he would never be able to mend the scar that was so deeply embedded in to Usagi's heart. "Nothing," she said flatly and with that, she stood up to leave. "How much do I owe you Motoki?" she asked with a voice that held no emotion, no life. Motoki shook his head and told her, "Don't worry about it Usagi-san; it's on the house." No smile, no thank-you, nothing. This certainly was a changed Usagi and it quite scared him to death to know that not one ounce of emotion - and Usagi was most defiantly an emotional person - rang in her voice. Everything about her was lifeless and dull. Like she had a tinted window enclosed on her heart that allowed no sun in to brighten the room with its cheerfulness and spunk. And it seemed that was the way Usagi wanted it, as if she put that tinted window up herself. "Good-bye Motoki." she mumbled while gathering her purse and making her way out the door. No trip, no stumble, and most important, no wave. Usagi always made a show on the way out but today she had no care what so ever on making Motoki contented with her secret inner light. Usagi, who wanted to leave there as soon as she could, found herself against a strong chest where she could hear a steady heartbeat, a rhythm she knew so well. Before yesterday, before that fight, she would have practically have to restrain herself from throwing her arms around Mamoru and kiss him passionately. Now she excused herself and walked out the doors with only the clicking of her heels audible. Mamoru stared at the beauty as she walked away and knew that this isn't Usagi. No, this wasn't the animated, full of life Odango Atama he loved - though he would be damned to ever to her that he loved her. How would she react on hearing a student at a college wanted to go out with her, a fourteen year old girl? Why she would think he was insane! But even though he wasn't her boyfriend or anything of that matter, he could tell what her emotions were. He could practically read her like an open book; the lines of feelings written dramatically on her face. Like when her eyes narrowed to their slits and her eyebrows were knitted together, that was her way of showing the world she was angry. Or when her crystalline blue eyes widen and her mouth was so slightly agape that you could hear her heavy breathing, she was telling people she was scared or shocked. But this time he couldn't read what was on her face and this worried him till no end. What was going on in that pool of thoughts inside her head? Mamoru bite his lip and thought about his two choices: one, he could hope Motoki-chan could give him some information, or two, he could find out himself, personally, what was bothering his golden angel. Needless to say, he chose the second option. *~* *~* *~* *~* Usagi quickened her pace as she became aware of Mamoru following her. Why must he do this? she thought harshly. And this time she didn't feel ashamed for thinking rudely about him... She didn't care anymore; emotions had no meaning to her and to the balance of her choices. And with every step she took, the wall around her heart only became a thicker barrier of protection from the outside world. "Odango Atama! Can you hold up a second?" Mamoru asked while he speed up to her. But she didn't stop. Why instead she broke out in to a run, and Mamoru has never seen Usagi run like this. It was as if the wind was carrying her and she was flying to whatever destination she wanted to go too. Yet this made Mamoru even more determined to find out what was bothering Usagi, enough to make her run from him. Maybe she is hiding something? That is a possible answer. "Your pain is my pain.**" Those words came back in his mind as he ran after the disappearing figure in front of him. Why did he keep on hearing that? Your pain is my pain? Who once told him that? The name seemed so familiar, all most within his grasp, but he couldn't remember. Damn it, why can't he remember anything? He didn't have amnesia! So why couldn't he recall a damn thing!? And then, like a flame lighting a candle, a spark of remembrance awoke in his soul and he knew who told him those words... "Usako..." *~* *~* *~* *~* Well I tried hard to show you how Usagi felt with that.... I know this doesn't seem to be going anywhere, but I'm trying, okay! So don't give up on me yet! E-mail me peepz! Don't let me get lonely now! Peace, Allison ^ ~ * - I couldn't remember what Minako's Japanese attack is called(I'm using the mangas.) So I just used the American Dubbed name. Hope that is o-kay with y'all! ** - This comes from the Sailor Moon SuperS manga, okay? I know that this is only Sailor Moon R, but sue me! Pretend that Usagi said it to Mamoru before the battle with Queen Beryl!