AllyM25@aol.com

AN: Well, since it is going to be a while before y'all read this, I
reckon I don't have much to say.  All I will tell you is that this isn't
really going to follow the normal patern of SailormoonR, so bare
with me.  And yes, I thought it would be pretty sweet to have Diana
come back, not only to help Chibi-usa but, also, meet Luna and
Artemis when they were younger.  So don't complain..  And about
the senshi use their basic powers(not the powers they gained in
SailormoonR,) well just be patient.  This is just the start of it.  BARE
WITH ME PLEASE!
Special thanks to: Aside everybody who has so kindly wrote me, I
would like to thank MSMOON25 for so sweetly helping me with my
problem of finding out the Japanese attacks in SailormoonR. You are
the best girl! ^_^ Thanks a million!
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon.  Don't sue me.  'Nuff said.
Rated: PG/PG-13(mild language but it is, in my opinion, written
pretty deeply... stop that laughing! I think I wrote pretty good this
time! ::sticks up her nose in the air:: Shaddup!)
Warning: This is self-edited.  Do be aware of that little tid bit of
information. ^_~

                        Pain Under Beauty

        Something inside the boundaries that were so wrapped
protectively around Usagi's heart felt the flicker of hope that seemed
so dim and worthless at the beginning start to burn with a unknown
strength.  The faint optimism she had on the whole situation that
seemed so pointless yesterday gained a intensity as it flickered in her
dancing azure eyes. He was remembering everything and she knew he
was.  But what if this was just her heart's final yearnings making her
think such things. As soon as she felt that feeling of condolence and
comfort, it was gone.  She had worked too hard to build those walls
and bars around her heart in such a short amount of time that was
given to her and they weren't about to come crashing down on such
senseless feelings.

        Usako...  The word was so perfectly normal and easy to say,
and Mamoru wanted so fiercely to whisper it over and over again in
Usagi's - no Usako's golden silk of hair.  So strong this emotion that
overtaken his senses that it startled him and he felt as if he was a
young boy lost in a world of passion and affection that he never quite
understood.  Since his parents died so harshly in that incident (he
tried so hard to block it out of his mind until it was just a faint blur,)
that he was never reared in love and warmth of feelings allowing him
to ever know how to react to such dealings that actually dealt with
feelings and emotions.  But he knew what these emotions where, and
he wanted Usako so severely he was going to get her no matter what
it took.

        When Usagi finally reached the gates to the safety and
comfort of her home, the girl was just as lost in this new universe of
no refuge and safekeeping that she was baffled at what her next
decision should be.  Should she wait for her darling, her Mamo-chan?
The adolescent's eyes widen until they all most popped out of their
sockets; why would someone as warmhearted as Mamo-chan want
her, a murderer, waiting on him?  He would spit on her if he ever
knew the truth about what took place yesterday; though she was
going to make sure he never ever unearthed that she was a blood
sucking monster. So that meant she would just have to shut the door
in his face the way she so hastily shut the door to her heart.  And
everyday that door was growing harder and harder till it was stronger
than granite itself and nobody would ever break it down.  Emotions
were of the pass, a distant blurry past that she never again in her
lifetime wanted to dwell about.  Her life was as dull as the blank color
of non-animation in her eyes.  Her soul was stone now and she felt
nothing, much to her liking; no more emotions of hate, pain, and
sorrow.

        Staring at her with somber eyes as Usagi quietly locked the
door behind her, Mamoru winced in anguish as the depth of the
feeling sent from Usako to him that told his aching heart enough
information to last him the rest of his life.  He knew she would never
love him.  What a fool he was to even uncover the mask that he worn
so well for all those years and allow her to hurt him!  Never will he
feel hurt and pain again; he has already survived his part when his
loving parents passed away. He wasn't going to be wounded by
Usak--Usagi again!  Damn her!  Damn him!  Damn everbody!

        Watching from behind her dark blue curtains with brilliant
yellow crescent moons dancing around on it, Usagi's eyes flooded
with tears of lost hope.  What use was it to bother to live when
everything was against her?  She had always tried so hard to be the
lady her mother had been in the her past life and now tried just as
hard to be what her mother of her present life is; both so kind and
gentle, like a lamb.  And here Usagi is, an assassin of her own kind,
that had the compassion of a lion.  Where did she ever go so wrong
to have God maltreat her so badly?  No.. Mustn't think of that now,
she will think of these things tomorrow when she had strength.  But
God knows where she could get the strength and courage to fight her
own life and destiny.

        *~*             *~*             *~*             *~*

        Rubeus peered into his mirror that reflected down on this
vibrant city of innocence and life and laughed his ghastly crackle.
Fools, all of them!  He was so close to acquiring the powerful
ginzuishou he could feel his mouth watering.  The taste of sweet
victory burned in his cold eyes and his crackling turned into a rout
louder than the lightning that so scared the life of a helpless princess
of the future and her guardian cat.

        *~*             *~*             *~*             *~*

        Chibi-usa wandered aimlessly, searching alley ways and every
significant path she came across.  Only the steady purring of Diana
soothed her fears of the Black Moon Family finding and taking her.
The rhythmic purr that she had fallen asleep so many times in her
bedroom in the palace when everything was filled with serenity and
tranquillity.  But she must not think of that now, for she had adopted
her mother's sense of pushing things in the back of her mind.  This
trait had helped her so many times that she practically used it every
time Bad raised its wicked head at her.  Chibi-usa hastily put the fear
of Rubeus capturing her in the far most corner in her mind that she
would never think of it until their next meeting surfaced.

        Mamoru!  Oh my God, is that Mamoru-san?  Chibi-usa could
feel her eyes mist over with happiness and a sudden feeling of
protection if she could run into and be held by his arms.  Surely he
would remember her, right?  Silly her, he would most defiantly
remember Princess Small Lady Serenity!  She laughed heartily as she
skipped over to him, calling his name with gayety in her voice.

        "Mamoru-san!  Oh Mamoru-san!  I'm so glad I found you.
You see this awful man named," she stopped herself again.  Why did
every time she talk to him all most blurt out her secrets about her life?
No wonder why she couldn't be a lady like her mother for if she had
the wit that her mom possessed she wouldn't even think of saying any
specific detail that she was a princess or on a desperate journey.
Thinking that she would never be the dame her mother was or even
seeing her mother ever again, Chibi-usa began to sob hopelessly.
This whole journey was pointless!  She wanted her mommy and her
daddy and her friends and her old life!  And she wanted them now
more than anything in her seven years of childhood.  They were her
strength and her reason for living and now that they had been sucked
out of her life, like a leech sucking on skin in slow steady patterns,
she was drained; drained of not knowing how to do the possible out
of the impossible.

        "Chibi-usa!  Why are you crying squirt?  There, there, wipe
away your tears.  Mamoru is here to take care of you!"  His sardonic
smile brighten her ruby red eyes and hope swelled in her heart.
Mamoru was here to take care of her!  He wouldn't let them get her!
Sniffing and hiccuping, Chibi-usa shyly looked up into his eyes and
gasped as a wave of familiarity washed over her little body.  Those
dark eyes that were the same color of popa's!  Why they were the
exact same color and a little voice in her said keep saying over and
over again, "Those are daddy's eyes!  Those are daddy's eyes!"

        One of the three things she wanted had been answered.

        *~*             *~*             *~*             *~*

        Ikuko's motherly instincts automaticaly knew Usagi was in
turmoil as she watched her daughter play absentmindly with the plate
of food.  But what bothered Usagi she did not know; and it was
suffocating her inside that she couldn't heal it for her child.  She
wanted to use her love and what special magic mothers' possessed to
bandage up her baby's hurting.  So she intented to do this when she
went to say her goodnights to her, but for now, now she would just
study and try to think of how she could help take the burden off
Usagi's soft shoulders and place it on her own experience ones.  Yes,
she would most defiantly get to the bottom of this even if she had to
stay up all night trying to figure it out.

        "Goodnight mother; sweet dreams." Usagi said icedly.  She
hadn't meant it to come out that way but it did.  Though Ikuko did
not flinch or waver at her coldness.  All she did was smile that warm
smile that only her wonderful mother could possess.  Even this made
Usagi feel all warm and safe inside.  Tsukino Ikuko was the only
person that could climb over those heavy steel walls and bars on
Usagi's heart with her secret ways.  It was as if it turned her body to a
ghost so she could just walk straight through it and see what hidden
secrets and emotions lay dorment there; Mamo-chan use to be able to
do this when he reme- how many times must she torture herself?!
Mamo-chan did not remember and he never would!  Luna was wrong
about him recovering from the amnesia that taken his memories and
love away from her!

        Ikuko saw the faint fire in Usagi's eyes and then she watch the
tears that burned it out.  Her baby, her darling was hurting and how
she cringed inside!  Barely about to turn fifteen and her daughter was
taking on dealings that she should have to encounter twenty years
down the road.

        'No my child, do not cry, I will heal your wounds.'

        Before Usagi knew it, Ikuko was holding her and she was
crying in mother's soft robe.  The soft silk, like the fur of a kitten, that
made that white robe so special when she had clunge so happily as a
child too.  God she missed those days; but they were in the pass and
Usagi didn't want to look in the pass.  The pass was nothing but
torture and agony, no happiness anywhere.

        "Usa-hun, my little bunny, what is wrong?  What is that
feeling that haunts your beautiful baby blue eyes?  My love, darling,
what can your mother do to make you feel better?" Ikuko quietly
whispered into Usagi's ear with such love and patience, more tears
swelled in her eyes.  Her mother was an angel sent from the a special
haven to her.  Sometimes she even thought her past mother, Queen
Serenity, even put some of her own charm into her present mom,
Tsukino Ikuko, so she wouldn't feel so homesick.  Their two
personalities matched exactly and this made Usagi feel so much better
on her worse days.... And this, by far, could easily go under 'worse
days of Usagi Tsukino.'

        "Mommy," Usagi whispered back.  How good it was to call
her 'mommy' again.  Just like when she was a child.  "Mommy, I wish
I could tell you!  Oh I really do but I can't.... I cannot tell anybody or
I would have to kill them." she said the last words in her best
impression of James Bonds.  She heard the musical laugh of her
mother and she smiled, the first smile in twenty four hours of pure
hell.  Yes, her mommy was back in her heart to stay.  Usagi was
positive about that.

        Kissing Usagi's cheek, Ikuko stood and ruffled her daughter's
mane affectionately.  Ikuko seemed to decide her words carefully
before saying, "Do not fret my little moon princess, my little heroine,
you always know that your mother will be here, waiting patiently at
your side until the early hours of the morning."  Usagi's shocked
expression was only answered by her mother's sly wink.

        *~*             *~*             *~*             *~*

        I'm working really hard to express everybody's feelings in this
story and I'm also trying hard to work on the relationship between
Ikuko and Usagi.  Everybody does Queen Serenity and Princess
Serenity, so I thought why not do a wonderful relationship between
Usagi and her mother.  And you may be wondering, "This story is
sooo off the original point!  Ikuko/Irene could never figure out that
Usagi/Serena/Bunny was Sailormoon, much less the Moon Princess!"
Well, I wanted her too and this is my fanfic so all I have to say to you
is: Nah nah nah nah, ::sticks out her tongue:: ^_^

Peace,
Allison ^ ~