Hi, everyone! PLEASE, GIVE ME A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME AND READ THIS: This is important. Thanks! Few weeks ago I have read a MST by The Narrator, The Quality Controller, The Talent Scout and The Co-writer in new stories' addition on ASMR. To be honest, I couldn't help but laugh more than few times. However I realize how painful it can to the author to read such a work. That's why I decided to ask you this: Please, if you would ever want to write any review, criticism or MSTing on my story, could you first tell me that? I don't mind criticism; in fact I would gladly read it, but the thought that somewhere someone is MSTing my story, making jokes about every word and I don't know anything about it... You know, it makes me shiver :-) No, I am not against making fun of bad fanfics! I absolutely agree that criticism is a very useful thing. However it would be only the matter of politeness to send a short note to an author, that somewhere on the Net his or her story has been reviewed or criticized. Yes... I've read a looong discussion on Discussion board later, too. But I needed to say it here. Thanks in advance! Okay... here is the part 9 Warning! This part can be dull and boring! It consists from short episodes not entirely connected to each other. Next part will be more logic and much loooonger ^^) Btw, soon other senshi will appear, be patient! Thanx goes to Megan, Jenn and Amber. Their comments and edition save this fic from many mistakes and mistypes! Different Part 9 by Anni "Serenity, who did it to you?" Kunzite's voice was trembling and Serena couldn't understand was it anger or fear that she heard in his voice. 'Well, here goes... I'd better make it quick. If I'm lucky then he'll save me from more explanations.' Serena looked directly into his eyes. "Himur." It was almost a whisper, a slight movement of her lips, but enough for Kunzite to hear. She could see how his eyes widened. He went pale. One hour later she was having tea with all four generals. Kunzite was still pale but he said nothing. He was silently sipping his tea, rarely adding his comments to the conversation. Serena made him promise not to tell anyone about what he saw or heard in the bedroom. There was no need to tell him much. Being in the Negaverse he had heard about Himur and his sick nature. After realizing what Serena had been through, Kunzite was on the verge of madness. He was ready to go and fight with Himur right then and there. Only Serena's order made him stop. She convinced him that Himur was dead. 'That wasn't easy. Actually, I am not sure myself if Himur is dead. Well... sometimes being a princess helps a lot. At least he vowed to remain silent.' she sighed, remembering another time she ordered almost the same thing to Sailor Pluto. Other men were chatting, making jokes, and Serena felt at home with them. They kept calling her Serenity, though she tried to stop them. After the hundredth time, she gave up. 'At least they were not adding 'princess' before 'Serenity'!' she grinned. 'I can imagine other people's faces if they would hear them.' she mused, sipping her tea and chewing another cookie. Nephrite was shining with the honor because their princess was enjoying his cooking. It was hard to leave the Generals that day. Being in their company felt so 'right'. She felt more like a sister among them, though the respect in their voices was much more than brother-sister love. *** Later, anytime she was sad or lonely, she thought about the Generals again. Thinking of them always brought smile on her face. It was so good to know that somewhere, there were people who cared about her. They called her quite often, especially Kunzite. She chuckled to herself: 'Who would have thought that the most powerful Negaverse General would care for me like he was my father?' In some way Kunzite was even more protective than a father. When he learned that Serena was returning late from the hospital, he started to meet her and walk her home. If it was raining and cold outside Serena had no doubt that Kunzite would be waiting for her to take her home in his car. There was no way to stop him doing that. And honestly Serena didn't try to. It was nice to know that there were people who cared and worried about her. However, this peaceful time didn't last long. In a way Serena was the reason for that. After finding out how deep their love for the four senshi, her former friends was, she knew that there was only one way to make things right. She convinced all four of them to go to Tokyo and try to meet with the senshi. How much she wanted also to be there, to meet girls, to be back home again! She missed home a lot, but she'd never even imagined meeting them. She was afraid of the looks in their eyes. And all the explanations, and... 'You've got a chance to live a new life. Use it! You can't be their leader anymore. You can't help them with fighting either. So do the things you can do.' she repeated that to herself millions of times. Soon, she actually started to believe that. Part of her day Serena still worked in the hospital. All her free time she used to sit in the library and learn. She had already passed the exams and finished school and now she was preparing for entrance exams to university. She wanted to study art. She had quite a big collection of her paintings already. She was popular among people who liked art. But her wish was to study in the university to learn more. 'Now I understand why Ami was always reading,' she chuckled, sadly remembering the old days. *** Sometimes she experimented with her powers. Actually it was the power of the ring, not her own power. She still knew very little about where the ring came from and what it's meaning was. She simply accepted the things as they were. She used her own energy very rarely, especially after what happened in front of Kunzite. One day she found out that she could make an astral projection of her self and travel in that form for quite long distances unnoticed by others. Almost as Sailor Pluto did visiting her. Though it wasn't as easy as to heal the patients in the hospital, she liked to do it from time to time. Mostly she did it during nights when she couldn't sleep. She could see other towns and people, travel to the places she had never been. Once she even made a trip to Tokyo. Her home. Her family. She just moved silently through the rooms while they were peacefully sleeping. Everything was so familiar and on the other hand everything was different. Soon she realized what it was. She didn't belong there any more. There was nothing that could remind anyone that Usagi Tsukino once lived in this house. No pictures of her on the shelves, no manga left in the living room, no chair for her in the kitchen. It was so strange and bitter to be a foreigner in her own house. The rest of night she was crying into the pillow until her head began to spin from her cries. She never did any astral trips to Tokyo again. *** **Serena's point of view** Strange things are our will and our mind. I wish I could study psychology to learn more about human nature. *grin* I am sure; I could be used as a guinea pig also. I'm a living encyclopedia for psychology students! When I was a child, my mom was making me study in music school and play the piano and you can only guess how hard I was resisting that. And now? Yes, I am playing piano willingly, all my free time! I was lucky (or was it destiny's choice?) to rent an apartment where was a piano! It was covered with dust in the back room. First when I noticed it I just smiled sadly. I haven't touched an instrument for more than 4 years. However, it was calling me. It was like gravitation. Maybe the explanation was very simple: I felt guilty: guilty for quitting playing so suddenly. After finishing the last year in music school, I've stopped playing. My teacher said I was a promising student. I could go further in my musical career. But that was the moment when Luna appeared in my life. I had other problems... like saving the world from youmas, monsters and other nasty creatures. And the piano was left untouched. First mom tried to force me, and then she had given up. Later on I tried to play for myself, but on one condition. I had to be alone in the whole house. I was so ashamed of mistakes I did. I felt as my playing skills were fading away. A terrible feeling, believe me. After taking part in competitions and winning some of them, I felt as my fingers were losing their skills. The only way to return them (skills I mean) was to train at least half of hour each day. But I was the irresponsible and clumsy Sailor Moon. No one would ever believe I could win awards by playing the piano. I had never even mentioned that part of my life to other girls. But shame never left my soul in peace. Now shame had reached its highest point. *grin* That was the point when I simply had started playing. Can you imagine my surprise when I realized I still remember some of the tunes? No, that's not exactly the true. 'I' don't remember. My hands do. My eyes were as big as soup-plates when I felt my hands playing without my will. Only another person who had experienced that feeling can understand what I had felt that day. If only I could jump to the ceiling and down... I would certainly do it! You know, after everything that had happened to me, I am still capable to surprise myself in many ways. The same way as I like math now and enjoy solving the problems I hated so much before, I have fallen in love with scales. Don't look at me so surprised. Really, I like playing them! I feel my body relaxing and my mind free of everything when I play them for good half an hour. Heh... I am glad my neighbors are patient and tolerant people. They don't mind me ruining their evenings with my poor attempts to train my hands. One day I'll play almost as good as before! *sigh* Yeah.. I know that I won't play List and Chopin as perfect as before, but still... I know I won't give up that easily either! One of my favorite songs: Ne me quitte pas, Il faut oublier, Tout peut s'oublier Qui s'enfuit deja. Oublier le temps Des malentendus Et le temps perdu A savoir comment... Oublier ces heures Qui tuaient parfois A coups de pourquoi Le coeur du bonheur... Ne me quitte pas...... Please don't leave me! let's forget the time that brings sorrow and pain this time should be forgotten as the years pass by I don't regret, I don't cry any more Your each question is a knife in my heart Please don't forget me Please don't leave me (AN: Ooookay.... I admit, that was a poor translation, because I combined three part of the song in one poem. Yes, the song is three times longer. And believe me - it is absolutely beautiful! The words in French are just... superb ^^) What? You didn't expect me to know a little French? You underestimate me a lot! Btw, does anybody know this song? Maybe you even know nice translation into English? You already know my e-mail, right?) **End of Serena's point of view** *** Few times while sitting in the bus or just walking somewhere she would noticed a nice looking guy. And for a while she really wished him to say "Hi" or something else to begin a conversation. Just to talk to him, to smile, to know that you can be interesting not only as a clever or talented person but also just as a pretty young girl. But this dream faded away very quickly. Actually no guy ever started talking to her. 'Well? what do you expect? Are you still thinking that you are pretty? Who are you trying to trick?' She looked in the mirror only to see a pale sad face. She made her lips to smile, but the smile didn't live on her face. It didn't belong there. 'Do you still hope for something?' she asked her mirror-self sadly again and again. Strangely when she was on public or among co-workers she was always smiling and even making jokes. No one ever noticed that it was a fake smile: it looked so natural. She couldn't show anyone her sad mood or eyes full of tears. The other reason was that she was afraid people would consider her different from themselves. That was the thing she really wished never to happen. Actually she 'was' different. She could see that she seemed smarter than others did or at least she knew how to use all the knowledge she'd found in books. She loved to learn new things; it was natural to read anything she saw. Sometimes Serena almost hated that. There was nothing nice or polite in answering every question someone could possibly ask. 'Maybe I should pretend I am not that smart? I could just shrug my shoulders and don't say anything even if I know the answer.' But that was impossible to do. It would be almost as to put a mask on your face and never to put it away. You can't always be someone else. One day you want to behave as your heart tells you, not as other people expect you to. But not to be like others all the time? That was not the best way out. 'Maybe it is my destiny to be 'different'? I just have to be the one I don't want to be. As it is in the song: "I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye". 'I was Sailor Moon and I wanted to be a normal teenager. Now I am not Sailor Moon anymore and I really want that time back again.' These thoughts were frequently visiting her mind leaving her sad and unpleased with herself without any possible way out. *** One evening Serena was sitting at home doing nothing just staring blankly in TV, when suddenly phone rang. - Hello! - ... - Oh, hi Seb! - ... - Uhm.. Yes, sure, but what's wrong? I mean your voice... - ? - Oki, see you! Listening to short beeping sound in the phone Serena paused for few minutes in the room thinking: 'That's strange!' Uneasy feeling was slowly reaching her heart. Something should be wrong. Calling late at night Seb nervously asked to come to her apartment and talk to her. Seb never sounded that nervous. He was always the one who calmed her down if she had troubles. 'Why does he wants to talk to me now, that late in the night?' Soon the doorbell rang and Seb entered the room. Serena brought some tea and they sat in silence for some time. No one wanted to say a word. Suddenly Seb began: "Serena, tell me. Do you trust me?" "Yes, Seb. Why?" She was puzzled. It was not like Seb to talk on such topic. "I need to tell you something. Please neither promise that you won't run away nor do something weird. I... I just want you to know that I'll be always there for you." "Seb, I really don't understand..." She was beginning to worry. 'What is he up to?' Seb moved and sat near her on the sofa. Taking her hands in his, he looked in her eyes. Trying to sound as soft as possible Seb spoke up: "Usagi, I know everything." End of part 9. (Part 10 will be up soon!!!) PROMISE it will be more interesting soon. This and the next part are dedicated to my dear friend. He had given me hope and love that no one else ever had. One day he will eventually find this story, or maybe he is reading it already...? Yes... he is... Please, forgive me for what I have done. I hope that people who will read about Seb and Usagi will never did the mistake I did once. Anni annushka78@hotmail.com <- emails are always welcome! www.online.ee/~pomm/different - if you want to know when it's updating next time - drop me a little email ^^) 12/11/2000 Though it was ready a long time ago.