Hi people this is my (BabySerry) third fanfic and my sister (Serry's Nightmare)'s first. This is a comedy about Mamoru in drag. He does this to get into the moonkingdom to get closer to Serena. Serena is at this time a famous Rock Diva with the band "The Silver Millennium" Everytime you see a (BS) or an (SN) that is BabySerry or Serry's Nightmare talking:) (SN. Quit it with the stupid Rock band fantasies Serry Sheesh!!!!) (BS. Screw you hippie!) Anyway...here is our dastardly concoction from the two weird sisters. (BS. Sure words I can't understand...) (SN. If they're more than two syllables you can't understand them!) (BS. Screw you hippie!!!) "Priestess Mamoru" By BabySerry and Serry's Nightmare (SN. ya know some people actually think I have a name Serry!) (BS. Screw you hippie) Chapter 1. Mamoru enters womanhood. Under a cobalt blue Kamloops BC summer sky the streets were as baked as BabySerry (BS. Screw You Hippie!!!!!!). A young man with ocean blue eyes and neck length black hair walked slowly down Victoria street whistling a long forgotten song (BS. all the while giggling like a schoolgirl) (SN. How can he whistle and giggle at the same time??????) (BS. Screw You Hippie!). Suddenly he noticed a large crowd of people gathered in the sweltering heat near Spinners Sound Center. They appeared to be focused on one single person, the brightest star in the constellation of human beings. (BS. Me! Baby Serry!!!) (SN. I said bright star not dim bulb) (BS. Screw You Hippie!!!). Mamoru, being six feet tall and as limber as a gymnast (BS. drool...sigh....faint) (SN. oh for goodness sake). Stretched his swan like neck over the ocean of mesmerized faces. In the center he caught a glimpse of a beautiful young blond woman seated at a table surrounded by posters and pictures. (BS. It was me...the fabooooolus Baby Serry) (SN. *gag*) (BS. Screw You Hippie!!!!). Mamoru leaned over to one of the young boys next to him and asked "What's going on? Who is that woman?" The boy answered (BS. Why that would be the wonderful beautiful BabySerry) (SN. That's it I'm taking over the keyboard) (BS. Screw You Hippie!!) "Don't you know anything?? That's Princess Serenity of the Moonkingdom and lead singer for the rock band "Silver Millennium" She's so fine! I love her" Mamoru inspected the woman closely, she looked about sixteen with long blond hair parted neatly and gathered into two ponytails. (BS. They're meatballs!! Not ponytails) (SN. same bloody thing!) She wore a white baby tee with a hint of lace at the neckline and a pair of blue denim shorts. A silver crescent on a chain rested on her chest above her breasts. (BS. You sick perverted animal) (SN. Well where else would she put it????) (BS. You sick perverted animal!) (SN. Hey you thought it...I just wrote it) (BS. Not true) (SN. Can we get back to the story please???) (BS. Fine!) Her eyes were covered with mirrored sunglasses shaped like stars. (SN. Stars????? can we be any more tacky???) (BS. Better than what you wear) (SN. Screw You hippie!!) (BS. Quit stealing my line) (SN. your line? You stole it from South Park) (BS. No they stole it from me!!!) Mamoru giggled out loud as he looked at her...she looked like as much a wannabe as the spice girls. (BS. Shut up I like them!) (SN. You would) The boy asked "What are you laughing at?" "She looks like a psycho spice girl!!...look out everyone it's Meatball Spice" Suddenly the girl looked directly at him. Mamoru had been shuffled to the front of the line by the bustling crowd so when he said that he was standing right in front of her. Serenity stood up "How dare you talk about me like that! Who do think you are!!!" (BS. whooo..do you think you are...say you're the best by far) (SN. Stop singing that already!) Mamoru blushed slightly but kept his cool. Serena took off her sunglasses and glared directly at him. Mamoru suddenly was struck by how beautiful she really was. Her eyes were as blue as the desert sky and glinted with a hint of tears. Mamoru looked down slightly ashamed tracing the sidewalk bricks with toe of his shoe. He looked back at her, their eyes met. His heart caught in his throat and he barked out an apology. Serena put her glasses back on and turned away in disgust. (BS. Sure make my Mamoru the enemy) (SN. He's a jerk jerk jerk) (BS. Shut up he is not!!!) Later on that evening Mamoru sat in his living room looking at a picture of Serenity he had picked up off the street after she and the crowds had left. He had walked around all day feeling miserable for insulting her and also feeling a sense of yearning. She had awakened something primal in him...was it love? He didn't know. (BS. Sure he knows) (SN. Maybe it was fear!!! haha...beware the psycho spice!) (BS. Screw You Hippie!!!!) All he knew is he couldn't get her crestfallen face out of his mind. He wanted desperately to see her again. (BS. You're making my Mamoru sound like a dork...I'm going out for a cigarette) (SN. what?! And leaving me to finish this by myself?) (BS. No you're not typing a thing while I'm gone...I can't trust you) (SN. *grin* ohh...don't worry you can trust me...*laughs evilly to herself...she'll never know what hit her bwahahahahahahaaa!!) (BS. I can see what you're typing you bonehead) (SN. oh shut up!) So Mamoru joined a nudist colony in California and spent the rest of his days on the beach roasting his wiener. (BS. I said don't type anything!!! Nudist Colony...what the hell are you doing?) (SN. It was an inspiration...my muse came up to me and said "Think nudist colony..his wanger waving in the wind") (BS. that was not your muse that was one of those voices in your head) (SN. You're just jealous because they don't talk to you too) (SN. Okay...back to Mamoru and the picture of Serenity...you know Serry I bet you he was spanking his monkey while he was looking at it *evil grin*) (BS. You sick perverted animal!) (SN. Okay he was caressing the monkey) (BS. That's better!) "Stop kidding yourself Ru ol' buddy...she's a famous rock star... you're just a gimp" he said to himself. (BS. Ru???????? since when does he call himself Ru? And he's NOT A GIMP!!) (SN. Well what do you think people call him for short? Mam???) (BS. That's to come later!) He sat back on his sofa and gazed at her photo again, the setting sun had cast an orange glow in the room and her face looked more mysterious by the ruddy light. Mamoru folded up the picture and put it in his pocket. Grabbing the keys he went outside and got in his car. The Kamloops streets were quieter and a soft desert wind had picked up. Mamoru ran a hand through his hair as he guided his car down Columbia Street back to the store where he met her before. The store was just closing. Mamoru confronted the manager as he locked the door. "Excuse me sir" Mamoru asked "I'm wondering if you know much about Serenity, the girl who was signing autographs here today." "Only that she's one of the biggest selling artists on the planet today, and that she lives on the Moonkingdom...why are you some kind of stalker?" (BS. Why would you think that my Mamoru is a stalker?) (SN. Well anything's possible with female rock stars...they always have Stalkers, Sarah McLachlan had one, Stevie Nicks had one...) (BS. Would you shut up about Stevie Nicks already!! *to audience* My sister has a crush on her) (SN. I DO NOT!!!!!!!!) Mamoru laughed "I was wondering if she needed any more people to work on her road crew. I have experience. I was a roadie for Amanda Marshall, Great Big Sea, and Fleetwood Mac" (BS. Again with the Fleetwood Mac!!!) (SN. Hey man they're Rock Legends!!!!) (BS. And next I supposed you're going to say that the Rolling Stones are rock Legends too) (SN. no they're just a bunch of losers....OF COURSE THEY ARE!!!!) "Well you'd have to see her manager about that...but I think they only allow Moon people to work on road crew...catering too. Her whole entourage is Moon people. No Earthies aloud...well except for.." "What?!" Mamoru cried "What?!!!" "Well Queen Serenity, her mother and manager is trying to get the princess to learn about spirituality and to be more morally aware. She doesn't want Serenity getting mixed up in that rock and roll lifestyle" "So?" "So the Queen allows Moon Priestesses from Earth to come and tutor young Serenity in the Old Ways, to teach her to be more lady like and more spiritual...of course you'd have to be both a woman and a trained Priestess to get that job heh heh" Mamoru sighed "That sucks" "Well...Queen Serenity has a real thing against Earthies, males especially. She thinks they're too basic, all they think about is sex all the time." (BS. Not my Mamoru!) (SN. You maybe but not Mamoru! Heehee) (BS. I am not an Earth Male!) (SN. Well you never know....) (BS. Screw You Hippie!) Mamoru thanked the store manager, and went back home. He laid down on his bed and dreamed about her. Mamoru woke up in the middle of the night and looked around. The room was pitch black except for the red numbers on his digital clock that burned in the dark like vampire eyes. 4 AM. Mamoru had slept little, tossing and turning, his mind filled with images of her beautiful face and his desire for her. "If only I were a Moon person, or a..." "THAT'S IT!!!" He cried getting up out of bed. Mamoru paced around his apartment outlining the plan carefully in his head. He would disguise himself as a Priestess to get to the moon and to Serenity. It was perfect. After Mamoru got dressed and ate breakfast he drove down to visit his gay cousin who just happened to own a costume shop. The store was a small three story structure on first avenue which looked like it might have once been a dentist office back in the early days of this bustling railroad town. It had been painted a dark gray with white doors and window frames. Above the door read the sign "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Costumes" (SN. South Park Wannabe!!!) (BS. Do you have any other ideas?) (SN. Well...no) Mamoru walked into the narrow building and was immediately greeted by the smell of all sorts of chemicals. His cousin, he knew, always wanted to be a film costumer but never had the money to make it all the way to Hollywood. He was content to run this small business with his life partner Edouardo. Mamoru looked around the small store. Racks of shimmering gossamer, plaid, satin, feathers and other fabrics hung like colourful waterfalls. The two main windows on the front of the store let in just enough sunlight to make the place look cheery. A stereo on the wall opposite the racks spilled music from Queen's Greatest Hits into the nearly empty store. In the back of the store Mamoru could hear an off key voice singing in a makeshift English accent: "Hey boy where'd ya get it from, hey boy where did you go. I left my passion in the good ol' fashioned school of lovah boyyy!!" The voice got louder as the store owner, Big Gay Al, or Alberto as Mamoru had known him walked out carrying bolts of cloth. He placed them on a nearby table as he caught a glimpse of Mamoru. "Hey!!! Mamoru oh my god! Like what are you doing here...it's so great to see you" he clapped his hands together and hopped up and down. "Soooo what brings you to my humble shop today??" "Well" Mamoru began, shaking his cousins hand, the two were very much alike in appearance except Alberto was skinnier, taller and gayer. He wore a white shirt , black vest and white shoes. There was a measuring tape around his neck and silver Ankh on a black chunk of leather. (SN. Gayer? That's not a word!!!) (BS. It is in my dictionary) (SN. Rhymes with Bayer? ) "I need you to make me a woman" Mamoru said frankly. Alberto's eyes lit up immensely. " I've always wanted you to say that!" (Sure now who's trying to be a Mrs. Doubtfire wannabe?) (Hey if the high heel fits...) Alberto grabbed Mamoru by arm and lead him over to one of the racks. He surveyed his cousins face carefully as though tracing a map of it then dug through the rack of beautiful cloth. "Well...hmmm...are you thinking celebrity perhaps?" he pulled out a gold taffeta and black velvet gown and a long black chiffon dress with wide sleeves. "We have a great selection...everything from Barbra Streisand to Stevie Nicks" (BS. Again with the Stevie Nicks...would you get over it already) (SN. first of all...Get over it is an Eagles song...second of all Stevie is a popular subject for transvestite celeb imitators...okay?) (BS. *oy*) Mamoru picked up the sleeve of the chiffon dress "would this work for a Moon Priestess?" "Moon Priestess??...umm don't think so. You need to think more White witch less Welsh witch. Come over here I think I may have something." Mamoru put the black chiffon and gold taffeta dresses back in their respective places. Alberto dug around the back of the store and returned with a simple white cotton hippie dress. (SN. What is it with you and hippies?) (BS. I'm a hippie for goddess sake!) It had wide open sleeves, a long neckline and fell to his ankles. Mamoru held it up to himself as Alberto surveyed the colour and the effect. "Not baaad, it really complements your ivory complexion" Mamoru blushed "Thanks...you know it's hard finding clothes that don't make me too rosy" "You might want to keep away from pinks and peaches and look more at beiges and flesh tones then" Alberto said "They have a way of giving you the creme complexion of a southern belle and keeping those nasty red cheeks away" (BS. He's not going gay you dimwit!) (SN. I'm having fun! Go away!) "We're going to have to do something about your face if you want to be a Priestess...legs too. All that hair isn't very feminine" Alberto said "Come into the makeup room. Let me transform you" "Uuuuhh...okay" Mamoru resigned taking the white dress with him. Alberto prepared a strange smelling mixture and got out a bunch of white cloth strips. "What are you doing?" Mamoru asked. "Trust me...you'll be as smooth as a babys bottom!" Alberto exclaimed spreading the mixture on the strips and putting them on Mamoru's legs which were covered in black hairs. The strips felt warm and wet but then became tight. "Umm...Alberto this is getting kind of uncomfortable" Mamoru said. "Just wait three more minutes" Alberto called hard at work on another concoction in his makeup room. Alberto came out three minutes later and checked the strips. "Okay they're ready" he said smiling. "Mamoru do you remember that time when we were kids and you wiped out on your bike and broke your leg in three places?" "Yes....ummm..." Mamoru said cautiously "Why do you ask?" "Because" Alberto said grabbing one of the strips "I promise you this won't hurt quite as much as that" Alberto pulled one of the strips off. "YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what the?????" "Just hold still" "OOUUUUCHHH OOOH! &*#@^*$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Almost done" "ow ow! Ow!! OWW!!! OWWWWWW!!!!" "C'mon be a good little boy now" "YOWWWW!" Meanwhile Haruka, who had just wandered into the store to check out some of their new selections, she was a regular customer and a good friend of Al, heard the commotion in the back room. She rushed in to see Mamoru admiring his hairless legs in a full length mirror. "Not bad" Mamoru said "Smooth" Alberto clapped his hands "See...for a little pain you get a lot of pleasure" Haruka's mouth dropped open in amazement, then she smiled and cleared her throat. "Right on Mamoru! Nice legs baby. If only you were really a woman Michiru would have a lot to be jealous of" Mamoru blushed fiercely. "I want to be a Moon Priestess" "Don't we all *sigh*" said Alberto "I'm helping him to look the part" "It's to try and get to onto the Moonkingdom, I want to see Princess Serenity" "I see," said Haruka "You know that Moon Priestesses aren't allowed to wear makeup don't you?" "I do" Alberto said "That's why I've been working on a way to give you a beautiful feminine face without it" "I'd be glad to help" Haruka offered. "Noooo no...forget about that" Mamoru protested. "Awww c'mon Mamoru, who has more experience then me at being a woman huh? Well except maybe Alberto but he doesn't count, he's still a man" "She's got a point Mamoru" Alberto agreed. "Ohhhh okay fine!" Mamoru resigned, "but you are to speak of this to no one...understand!" "I won't" Haruka agreed "Alberto, lets get started" This is Chapter One of three. Next Chapter Mamoru goes through Priestess Training and then to the Moonkingdom. Stay tuned. ps. To all you gay's out there.....we are not trying to be offensive so we hope with our heart of hearts that no gays were harmed in the making of this fanfic:) Love, Peace, and Harmony to you all BabySerry & Serry's Nightmare