Transformations of Time
A Sailor Moon fanfic by Beholder

Standard disclaimers apply.  I do not own Sailor Moon, those characters are owned by 
Naoko Takeuchi.  All other characters are owned by me.

Thanks go to:
DQBunny, Lady Snowbreeze, Lady Amethyst, and many others for editing/critiquing
DQBunny, Ajax, Elizabeth Turkwood, Tim Nolan, and John "P-chan" Laughlin for 
writing some very good stories that inspired me to write this, and some ideas which I 
borrowed from those stories, changed and incorporated into mine.
Thanks to Mibu Minami for teaching me a bit about how Japanese radio works!
Thanks to Jacques Capesius for coming up with the names "Zombie Horseradish" and "Cringe".

CAUTION:  This chapter contains mild violence and sexual situations.  If you are under 18,
read at your own risk!

NOTE:  The radio station, J-Wave 81.3 FM, the DJ, Mibu Minami, and the Nippon Budokan are
all real people and places.  Masahiro Satou's vocal skills are based on Geoff Tate of Queensryche,
who I think is an awesome vocalist, but otherwise there are no similarities.




Chapter 1e:  Someone to Lean On

	"I now present the Juuban Senior High Class of 1998!"
	Rei looked up and noticed that she had been daydreaming again since Usagi 
walked across the stage.  The headmaster had just instructed for all the graduates to move 
their tassels, then presented the class.
	The auditorium erupted in applause, but Rei was still a little disoriented from her 
recollections of the past two years.  It startled her when Mamoru, Hotaru and Setsuna 
began to applaud, but she quickly caught on and joined her applause with everyone else.  
The graduates were standing already from turning their tassels, and now they turned to 
the audience to receive the applause.  A few seconds of applause passed when Haruka 
and Michiru began to play a recessional song, and the graduates began to file from their 
seats to the center aisle, then paired up and walked to the back of the auditorium and 
outside.
	Rei and Mamoru both kept their eyes peeled for their friends or loved ones, and as 
Minako, Makoto, Ami, and Usagi passed, the four in the seats whispered their 
congratulations to them.
	As soon as the last pair of graduates walked past, Rei grabbed her purse from the 
floor, stood, crossed Mamoru to the aisle, grabbed him by the arm and started to drag him 
out.
	"Rei-san!  What the--?" he stammered.
	"Come on, Mamoru-san!  I want to be first to go through the congratulatory line!" 
she responded and kept pulling, nearly pulling him out of the folding chair onto the floor 
of the auditorium.  Fortunately, he managed to get to his feet quickly and walked outside 
with Rei.
	 As they walked outside, the congratulatory line was still forming, but Minako, 
Makoto, Ami, and Usagi had gathered together already towards the end of the line 
farthest from where everyone would come out of the auditorium, as well as from Rei and 
Mamoru.
	Rei waited until the relieved graduates got into their places, then approached the 
start of the line with Mamoru right behind her.  She smiled at everyone and gave them a 
warm handshake and said, "Congratulations," to them out of courtesy.  But when she got 
to Minako, she threw her arms around her friend and they embraced, jumping up and 
down with excitement.  "Good job, Minako-chan!"
	"Arigato, Rei-chan!" Minako said back, then broke the hug.
	Rei moved over and gave Makoto a similar hug and said to her, "Congratulations, 
Mako-chan!"
	"Arigato, Rei-chan!  Glad you could come!" she said back.
	Rei moved over to Ami and was about to throw her arms around her and give her 
a good tight hug, but just as she was about to, Ami threw up her hands and whispered, 
"Careful, Rei-chan!"  Ami then slid her hands down and held them against her swollen 
belly.  Rei had momentarily forgotten that Ami was almost six months pregnant.  The 
long flowing robe really concealed it well.
	Rei patted Ami's belly apologetically, then carefully put her arms around her dear 
friend and gave her a gentle hug.  "I knew you could do it, Ami-chan," she whispered.
	"Just wait," Ami started, "the fun's just getting started."  Rei backed away and 
saw Ami roll her eyes.  Rei raised a questioning eyebrow, but knew that she'd find out 
what Ami meant soon enough.  Probably in about three months or so, Rei figured.
	Then Rei stood in front of Usagi.  Neither of them moved for several seconds, just 
looking at each other and smiling.  It was almost as if they were trying to read each 
other's mind and decide how to react.  Then they suddenly embraced each other, as if 
they were two long-lost siblings.
	"Thank you, Rei-chan, for coming today and for being there for me when my 
mom died," Usagi whispered.
	"Of course!  What are best friends for, Usagi?" Rei whispered back, then broke 
the embrace and walked through the rest of the line.
	She did look back just in time to see Mamoru, who was right behind Rei in line, 
congratulate Usagi in his own way, which was to kiss her and hug her there in the line.  
Rei heard Mamoru whisper to his beloved, "Your mother would be so proud of you.  I 
know I am."
	Usagi whispered back, "I know she's proud of me, and I am so happy that you are 
proud of me, too, Mamo-chan!"
	Rei saw them hug a bit longer, but decided not to stare and make them feel 
uncomfortable and moved through the last few people in line, then walked towards a tree 
off in the distance, where she could watch the other parents and friends stream out of the 
auditorium and through the congratulatory line.
	Rei stood under the tree, Usagi's words and her reply echoing her mind.  That's 
what best friends are for, she thought.  Anger started to stir within her.  The smile she had 
worn for much of the day faded away as she thought about how much of a fake she had 
become?-how much of a fraud she truly was.  She trusted Mamoru, Usagi and the other 
senshi and they trusted her.  She was there with the others through all of their trials, but 
when it came to her own problems, she told no one.  She wore a kind smile as everyone 
else around her told her of their problems and cried on her shoulder, but that was really just
a mask.  It was a mask she used to hide the shame and pain she felt inside for most of the
past two years.

	After Galaxia's defeat, Rei resumed her life as the shrine maiden at the Hikawa 
shrine, telling fortunes and taking care of the grounds.  Usagi and others came by for the 
study meetings and life seemed to return to usual.
	In July of that year, Rei, Usagi, Minako, Makoto, and Ami decided to go to the 
Juuban Shopping District and do a little browsing.  They visited several clothing stores, a 
jewelry store (so Usagi could dream about the engagement ring that she hoped Mamoru 
would buy her), an ice-cream parlor (so Usagi could pig-out on a double fudge and 
marshmallow sundae), and then finally to a book and music store.
	At the bookstore, the girls each went their separate ways.  Ami went to the 
textbook section to locate some new books on computers and genetic engineering.  Rei 
hated it when Ami would refer to that stuff as "light reading".  I love Ami dearly but she 
can show hints of a superiority complex now and then, Rei thought.  Makoto went to look 
for new cookbooks, Minako and Rei both went for the music section, and Usagi went to 
look for new manga.
	Minako and Rei both slowly perused the CD's and tapes in the shelves.  They 
both were big fans of the bubblegum rock groups, like Backstreet Boys, Hanson, Spice 
Girls, etc.  Minako had heard a rumor of a special import single by the Backstreet Boys 
and was desperately trying to find it, while Rei was simply browsing for anything new 
that sounded cool.
	Rei flipped through one CD after another for a long time, but then she suddenly 
stopped at a self-titled CD by a group called Cringe.  The name resonated in her head and 
she became curious as to what kind of music a group called Cringe made.  She took the 
CD off the shelf and took it to the checkout counter.
	"Excuse me, sir," Rei said politely to the cashier, who was probably a kid a year 
younger than her, with a "be thankful I'm here to help your sorry ass" attitude to match, 
	"Do you have any listening stations here?"
	"Yeah," the kid replied, indifferently.
	"May I listen to this CD?" she asked, handing him the disc.
	"Hey!  These guys are way cool!" he suddenly said with a renewed interest.  Rei 
could see on his face that whatever opinion he had of her before, just shot up several 
points from her choice of musical groups.  The kid popped the CD case open and 
escorted her to a listening station only a few feet away from the checkout counter.  He set 
her up at the station, put the CD into a player out of her view and hit the play button.
	The first few seconds of music seemed to tell Rei everything she wanted to know.  
Cringe was a hard rock band, and the songs seemed pretty generic.  Good riffs and drum 
work, but nothing outstanding about it or anything that grabbed her.  Then, the vocals 
kicked in and Rei was amazed.
	The lead singer and songwriter of Cringe was a man by the name of Masahiro 
Satou.  When he sang, Rei could almost feel tears forming from the beauty of the sound 
of his voice.  While the group was a hard rock band, Masahiro sounded as though he 
were trained in the opera at one time and had a unique timbre that didn't seem like it 
would mix well with the distorted guitars and heavy drums, but somehow, it sounded 
beautiful and unique.  Not only that, but as Rei leafed through the lyrics printed in the CD 
booklet, she realized that not only did he have an incredible voice, but also an amazing 
talent for using language as his lyrics were deep and thought provoking.  He wrote about 
all sorts of subjects from love to the ugliness of war and destruction of the Earth.
	The music suddenly stopped and Rei looked up.  The snotnose kid who was 
cashier was standing alongside her.  "I'm sorry, but you've been here for nearly a half-
hour.  You're only allowed ten minutes in the listening booth," he said with a self-
satisfied sneer.
	Rei normally would've ripped this punk a new one, but she was too excited about 
the CD to pay any attention to his attitude.  "That's fine!  I'll take it!" she exclaimed and 
hurriedly dug through her purse for the needed cash.
	The cashier's attitude melted back to one of interest in her musical selection.  
	"Hey, if you think that's cool, there's more of their stuff back in the racks.  This CD was 
good, but their newer stuff is even better!"
	"Hold this one for me, OK?" she asked, then headed back to the racks before the 
punk managed a reply.
	The cashier was right.  Three other Cringe CD's were in the racks behind the one 
Rei found.  The titles of the songs were all intriguing to Rei and she really wished she 
could've bought all four CD's, but only had enough allowance for two.  She decided to 
see if the kid was right about the group's improvement and bought the oldest and newest 
Cringe CD's.
	Usagi, Makoto, Ami, and Minako had finished their browsing ages ago and sat 
near the front door of the store, waiting for Rei to return.  Usagi was about to go look for 
her when Rei finally showed up.
	"Where have you been, Rei-chan?" Usagi asked, mildly annoyed.  "We've been 
waiting for you for twenty minutes."
	"Gomen.  I found some CD's that sounded cool," Rei responded.
	"Did you find that Backstreet Boys import?" Minako asked, then started to dig 
through Rei's shopping bag before she got a chance to answer.  Minako pulled out the 
CD's and looked at the name of the group.  "Cringe?" she asked.
	"Hai!  It's really cool stuff!  I listened to a bit of it," Rei said.  "I could put it on 
for you guys when we get back to the shrine."
	"Hai!" they all replied, although a bit reluctantly.
	After stopping at a hair salon so Minako and Ami could get their hair trimmed a 
little, all five girls eventually did return to the shrine and Rei put the first Cringe CD on, 
as she promised.  The reaction she got was not favorable.  It became clear that she was 
the only one who thought it was great music.  Oh, well, not everyone agrees on 
everything, she thought to herself and made a mental note not to play any Cringe music 
during senshi study sessions.
	Over the next several weeks leading up to the start of her junior year at T*A 
Girls' School, Rei spent her allowance buying the other two Cringe CD's and became a 
near-overnight fan of the group, and especially of Masahiro Satou.  What she hadn't 
realized right away was just how well known of a band Cringe really was.  Rei had never 
heard of them until that day in the record store, but when she went in to buy the other two 
CD's, she ran into another Cringe fan who indicated that they got a lot of radio airplay, 
but on a station that Rei never bothered to listen to.  When Rei got home after buying 
those two other discs, she turned her radio on and switched stations.  It didn't take long 
for her to hear a Cringe song and from that day on, her radio stayed on that station.
	Rei's junior year started out well.  She aced all of her first round of exams and 
was doing well.  Then one afternoon in September, as she was walking home alone from 
school, she happened to pass by a house where three guys were setting up a drum kit and 
a few amps in the garage.  Rei stopped and stood outside the garage, watching just out of 
sight as the three guys finished assembling the drum kit, then pulled a couple of guitars 
out of cases and plugged them into the amps.  Then after strumming a few random chords 
and the drummer banging away, warming up, they started to jam.
	Rei was amazed at the sound they produced.  While the drum work was solid and 
the guitars were loud and obnoxious, the music was simple.  No complicated riffs or 
chords.  Yet, while the music was simple, it was catchy and Rei couldn't help but let the 
beat get to her and tap her foot along with the guys.  Just as things were getting 
interesting, though, the drummer screwed up and the whole tune fell apart to the point 
that they had to stop and start over.
	She stood there and continued to listen as the three guys started again, but this 
time, they really cut loose and began to play something that more resembled noise than 
music, and Rei had to hold her hands over her ears.  While she enjoyed good loud hard 
rock, thrash metal was not her style.  Luckily for her, after a few minutes, they stopped 
and started to jam more in a blues/hard rock fusion style.  Rei didn't recognize the song, 
but they were actually trying to play a cover version of an old Led Zeppelin song, "The 
Wanton Song," minus the vocals.
	After they had played that for a few minutes, they were pretty satisfied with their 
practice for the day until the lead guitarist decided to jam a little bit longer and started to 
strum out a few notes of a song by Tonic, "If You Could Only See," Rei immediately 
recognized the song and from her hidden viewing spot, began to sing the vocals to the 
song.
	The guitarist was understandably startled to hear the vocals to the song he was 
playing simply because it came to mind.  He continued to play, putting more effort in, 
with the hopes that it could draw this hidden vocalist with the beautiful yet edgy voice 
out into the open.
	Rei heard his playing become more deliberate and knew she got his attention.  
	She turned the corner into the driveway leading to the garage he was in, still singing 
along with him.  She noticed a smile cross his face as he saw who it was.
	He listened carefully to her voice and was impressed.  She was young and had a 
very soft, yet sweet voice, but when she tried to push the notes out, he noticed that her 
voice would get slightly gravelly.  It was a sound quality that he and his bandmates had 
been seeking for nearly a year now.
	Rei continued to sing along to the guitarist, even after the two other guys returned 
to the garage after hearing someone singing.  She finished the song without missing a 
note or a word and the two who had just returned gave them a round of applause.
	"That was great!" the drummer said.
	"Hai!  That's quite a voice you have, there!" the bass guitarist added.
	"Arigato.  I just heard your friend here playing and I couldn't help but sing 
along," Rei explained.
	"Arigato.  My name is Yamaguchi Kenji," the lead guitarist said while holding 
out his hand to Rei who shook it.
	"Pleased to meet you, Kenji-san.  I'm Hino Rei," she said.
	"These two other guys," Kenji started, indicating the two behind him.  "The 
drummer is Yoshida Takahiro, and the bass player is Yamaguchi Tadashi."
	"Is Tadashi-san your brother?" Rei asked.
	"Unfortunately," Tadashi answered and immediately got a dirty look from Kenji 
that made Rei giggle.  It reminded her of how she and Usagi would sometimes poke at 
each other.  "Actually, I am only joking.  Kenji-kun is a very good guitarist and a pretty 
average brother."
	"Arigato," Kenji replied sarcastically.  "Don't go too overboard."
	"No problem!"
	"Do you three have a real band, or?" Rei started to ask.
	"Yeah!  Our name is Zombie Horseradish," Takahiro said.
	"Zombie Horseradish?" Rei asked, sweatdropping.  "What kind of corny name is 
that?"
	"Well, we each wrote down a random word on a card, the first word that popped 
into our heads, and then we would keep the ones that sounded best," Takahiro replied.
	"What was the third word?"
	"Ummm, best not to say in mixed company," Kenji said quickly, sweatdropping 
himself.
	"Where do you guys play at?" Rei probed further.
	"Well, see, we actually haven't played a gig yet cause our former lead vocalist 
kinda was seeing Takahiro's girlfriend on the sly, so we kicked him out and haven't 
found a replacement yet," Tadashi explained.
	"I see," Rei said.
	"You have a really great voice.  How'd you like to join us?" Kenji asked, but 
immediately got jabbed in the back by Takahiro.
	"Me?  Oh, I don't know.  I've never sang in a rock band before," Rei said, 
modestly.
	"Oh, come on!  You've got a great voice!  Can you write good lyrics?" Tadashi 
inquired.
	"I write some poems now and then, but I never considered putting them to 
music," Rei responded.
	"Hey, that's exactly how Jim Morrison got into rock and roll!"
	"Who's Jim Morrison?" Rei asked.
	"Have you ever heard of The Doors?" Kenji asked.
	"Nope."
	"That's OK.  Tell you what, gather some of your best poems together, come by on 
Saturday, and we'll look at them," Kenji offered.
	"Sugoi!  I'll be here!" Rei said, jumping up with a huge grin on her face.  She ran 
up the short driveway to the sidewalk, then turned back and shouted, "Ja ne!" to them.
	On Saturday morning, Rei returned to the house with a notebook full of her 
poems and knocked on the front door.  After a few seconds, Kenji came to the door.
	"Ohayou gozaimasu, Rei-san!" Kenji said, opening the screen door.
	"Arigato, Kenji-san!" Rei replied.
Kenji walked out onto the porch, and Tadashi and Takahiro walked out behind 
him.  "Kon'nichiwa, Rei-san!" they said in unison.
	"Kon'nichiwa, Tadashi-san and Takahiro-san!" she replied then sat on the porch 
railing adjacent to the side where Kenji, Tadashi, and Takahiro sat down.
	"Did you bring your poetry?" Tadashi asked.
	"Hai!" Rei replied, handing her notebook to Tadashi.  He took the book and 
opened it, then allowed Takahiro to read along.  "If you don't mind me asking," Rei said 
suddenly, "how old are you all?"
	"Ah.  Well, I am 17," Kenji said, pointing to himself, "Tadashi-kun is 18 and 
Takahiro-kun is 20.  How about you?"
	"Oh, I'm just 16," Rei said, blushing, feeling that she maybe was getting a little 
too personal with these guys she barely knew.
	"Not a problem as far as I am concerned," Kenji said with a smile.
	"This stuff is pretty good, Rei-san," Tadashi said.  "Let's get to work putting 
some music to a few of them and see what works, OK?"
	"Hai!" Rei replied and the four walked around the front of the house to the garage 
where their amps and drums were still set up.
	Rei spent the day at the house and helped the guys write some tunes to the poems 
she wrote.  They got some basic melodies down and tried to work her vocals in.  While 
her voice sounded great and the melody was catchy, the guys felt there was something 
too "bubblegum pop" about her lyrics.  The guys tried to add in harder sounds and riffs, 
but either it didn't sound right or it didn't sound the way Rei imagined and she wasn't 
afraid to let them know.
	From then on, Rei would stop by Kenji and Tadashi's house after school and 
practice for a couple of hours every few days when senshi study sessions weren't 
scheduled.  This was just for fun at this point and wasn't their living, so it wasn't an 
urgent thing.  The truth of the matter was, though, that the guys loved Rei's voice.  They 
began to teach her old classic rock songs by Zeppelin, which she seemed to get into, 
some Pink Floyd, which she only liked a few of the songs they taught her, and even got 
her to sing a song or two by AC/DC.  Rei loved singing and through Zombie Horseradish, 
she began to learn about all the other musical sounds that she never knew existed.
	One Monday evening in early October at a senshi study session, Rei had the radio 
on the Tokyo Rock station.  She had it on because that morning when she woke up to the 
radio, they teased a huge concert announcement and she just had to find out what it was.
	At seven o'clock, on the nose, the DJ came on and Rei's attention diverted from 
her studies to the radio.  "Good evening, Tokyo!  I'm Mibu Minami, and have I got a concert 
announcement that is going to blow you away!  On November 15, 1997 at 8:30 pm at the 
Nippon Budokan in Kudanshita, Tokyo will be none other than Cringe!"
	A huge smile stretched across Rei's face and she started to jump up and down.  
"Cringe is coming!" she began to shout.  "I gotta get tickets!"  Usagi, Ami, Minako, and 
Makoto simply sat there dumbfounded.  They were puzzled why Rei liked the band so 
much when they found Cringe's music to be rather obnoxious.
	The DJ continued on and Rei hung onto every word.  "Now, in honor of Cringe 
coming to town, for the next two weeks, we'll be offering two free tickets to the show 
whenever you hear any Cringe song played.  If that wasn't enough, every free ticket 
winner will be put into a drawing to get a backstage pass and meet the band!  Tickets do 
not go on sale until this Saturday, but we're going to start the giving right now!  I've got 
the first pair of free tickets sitting right here and I'll take the 8th caller and give away 
these tickets to that lucky person!  Good luck!  Coming up on J-wave 81.3 FM?."
	Rei quickly grabbed the phone and started to punch the station's number in, but 
all she could get were busy signals.  Rei tried and tried to call in for nearly fifteen 
minutes, but then the DJ came on with caller number eight and gave away the tickets.  
Rei was disappointed, but knew she had a lot of chances yet in the next two weeks.
	Every day for those two weeks, Rei listened to the radio as much as she was able 
and tried to phone in when the tickets were offered, but each and every time, she could 
not get through.  One time, she thought she had gotten through, but the phone just rang 
and rang.  While Rei held on and waited for them to answer, she heard them announce 
the winner on the radio.  Just a little too late, she thought.  She was not about to give up.
	By the final day of the ticket giveaway, which also marked the day before tickets were
to go on sale to the general public, Rei was desperate.  She stayed at home in the morning 
until the last possible second, hoping for another shot at tickets.  She tried to call in, but 
once again, only got busy signals.  The moment she heard the winner announced, she 
hung up the phone, grabbed her books and sprinted all the way to school.  When school 
let out, she sprinted all the way home, threw her books on her bed and turned the radio 
on.  It was almost four o'clock in the afternoon and the DJ's were proclaiming that after a 
ticket giveaway in the four, five, and six o'clock hours, the last ticket giveaway would be 
at seven.  Rei parked herself on the bed by the phone, with a look of determination on her 
face.
	As Rei listened intently to the radio, a voice called to her from behind the thin 
sliding door of her bedroom.  "Rei-chan?  May we come in?"
	Rei looked up to the door, startled.  "I forgot!" she thought.  "There's a senshi 
meeting tonight!"  Rei called out, "Come in!"
	The door slowly slid open, revealing Ami, Minako, Makoto, and Artemis standing 
on the deck outside Rei's room.  The girls noticed Rei sitting on her bed, rocking back 
and forth with the phone right in front of her, and listening intently on the radio.  The 
three girls cautiously walked in and began to get themselves arranged for studying as 
quickly and quietly as possible.  Rei didn't acknowledge them at all.  Makoto suddenly 
sneezed.
	"Shhhhhhhhh!" Rei admonished Makoto who shrunk away from her in 
intimidation.
	Ami and Minako looked shocked at Rei, who simply turned back to the radio.  A 
few seconds later, the door slid open again.
	"There was a really great TV show on, guys?" Usagi started to say.  Luna softly 
walked into the room and leapt up to the desk.
	Rei sprang out of bed, interrupting Usagi, and got right into her face!  "SHUT UP, 
BAKA!" she screamed in Usagi's face, then sat back down in bed and focused on the 
radio once again with a scowl.  Immediately, Usagi's face began to contort as her sobbing 
started, but then abruptly escalated to a royal wail, complete with Niagara Falls tear 
streams.  Usagi turned and walked back outside and roughly slid the door behind her with 
a loud "CLAP" as wood met wood.
	"Rei-chan!  That was so mean!" Ami said with a tone of fury in her own voice.
	Rei stood back up and got into Ami's face this time.  "Ami-chan!  I don't care!  I 
have only four more chances to get these damn tickets, and I am going to that concert!  
Do you hear me?"
	The room went silent, except for the radio.  Rei's expression suddenly changed 
when she heard the DJ announce, "If you want Cringe tickets, call right now!  We're 
taking the tenth caller!"
	Rei sprung back into the bed, grabbed the phone, and began to stab the buttons, 
then she waited for a few seconds.  Rei then slammed the phone down, picked it up, hit 
the redial and waited again.  A few more seconds, and Rei slammed the phone down, 
picked it up and punched the redial button again.
	This went on for nearly ten minutes solid, until the DJ came on and said, "We 
have our winner!  The Cringe tickets go to?"
	Rei collapsed, draping her body forwards on the bed, almost like she was 
exhausted, but everyone knew that she was terribly disappointed.  They were 
disappointed more in Rei, though, because these tickets had become an obsession, and 
obsession which caused her to lash out at Usagi and Ami, and act irrationally.
	"Gomen nasai," Rei said, her face still buried in her mattress.
	"Hmph!" Makoto said and turned her back on Rei.  Minako did the same.  Ami 
would've done it as well, but she was on the side of the table exactly opposite where Rei 
was.  Ami simply picked a book up and brought it up in front of her face.
	Rei sat up slowly, and saw that her friends were very upset with her and it began 
to upset her.  "Gomen!  Please, I was very mean to all of you and....gomen!"
	"'Gomen nasai' isn't going to cut it," Ami said from behind her book.  "You were 
very nasty to all of us and even nastier to me and Usagi-chan!"
	"I know, Ami-chan.  I just really want these tickets, and I guess I've let it get to 
me too much," Rei said, sighing.  "If you can forgive me for my outburst, and put up with 
me for a few hours longer, this will all be over, and I'll make it up to all of you."
	Ami lowered her book.  "I forgive you, Rei-chan."
	Makoto and Minako turned back to Rei slowly and looked her in the eyes and 
could see how much she hurt because she hurt them.  "I forgive you," they both said.
	"But, the one who you really need to say you are sorry to is Usagi-chan," Ami 
said, then brought the book back up.
	"Hai, Ami-chan," Rei said, then stood and walked outside.
	Only a couple of dozen feet away from the door, Usagi sat on the deck, with her 
feet dangling over the edge, her head lowered to her books and softly sobbing to herself.  
"Rei-chan does hate me," she said to herself out loud.
	"Iie, Usagi," Rei said as she sat down next to Usagi.  "I don't hate you.  I 
wouldn't blame you for hating me, though.  This deal with the radio contest just got to 
me.  Please forgive me, Usagi?"
	Usagi sat there and kicked her feet back and forth and didn't respond, but she did 
stop crying.  Finally, Usagi said, "You've always been mean to me, Rei-chan, but never 
like you were a little while ago."
	"I know, Usagi," Rei said, her heart sinking even further.  "Gomen nasai, Usagi.  I 
never meant to get this consumed by winning a pair of tickets.  And I sure don't 
want a pair of stupid tickets to wind up destroying our friendship.  Please, forgive me, 
Usagi?"
	Usagi still did not look up and continued to swing her feet back and forth.  "Rei-
chan, I forgive you."
	Rei felt relief that she hadn't lost one of her best friends.  "Arigato, Usagi.  Tell 
you what, you and the others decide what kind of pizza you want, and I'll spring."
	Usagi looked up at Rei.  Rei expected a huge grin to spread over Usagi's face, 
then she'd jump up and down in joy that someone was buying her food, but that didn't 
happen.  Usagi looked at Rei and gave her a controlled smile and whispered, "Arigato."
	Rei could tell that she really hurt Usagi's feelings and it would take time for them 
to mend, but they were still friends, and that was important to her.  Rei and Usagi stood 
back up and walked into the room together.
	No sooner did the door slide shut than the DJ announced the five o'clock ticket 
giveaway.  Rei heard it immediately and bowled over Usagi to get to the phone, but her 
efforts again went unrewarded, and were so again for the six o'clock giveaway.
	The clock read 6:52pm and the final ticket giveaway was mere minutes away.  
Rei had attempted to study with the other girls between the giveaways as well as eat the 
pepperoni and Canadian bacon pizza she ordered for everyone, but she could not keep her 
mind on her studies and she let Usagi eat most of her share of the pizza.  Now, though, 
with the final chance looming, she was again on her bed, hand on the phone receiver, 
dialing finger in position, and she was ready and determined to get in and win those 
tickets.  Rei concentrated, and then she heard the words that would spring her into a 
dialing frenzy.
	"...the ninth caller!  Phone lines are now open...," the DJ said, announcing the 
last chance to get tickets was right now.  Rei went into action and began to punch away at 
the phone.
	The first several attempts, Rei once again got busy signals, but then on the fifth 
attempt, Rei suddenly stopped.  "It's ringing!" she whispered, and the other girls looked 
up.
	The other girls observed Rei closely.  They saw her with the phone pressed hard 
against the side of her head, a look of pure determination etched onto her face.  Then 
suddenly, Rei leapt up into the air and started jumping up and down.  "I WON!  I WON!" 
Rei cried, then she abruptly stopped and the expression of joy on her drained away.  Rei
slumped back down to the bed and as she landed, the phone receiver dropped from her grip.
	"What is it, Rei-chan?" Usagi asked in alarm.
	"...eighth caller...," was all Rei could say before she buried her head in her 
pillow.
	As much as everyone else in the room felt sorry for Rei, they felt relieved that this 
obsession of hers was now over, and hoped she'd return to normal.
	Minako stood up and sat on Rei's bed next to the raven-haired girl.  Minako put 
the phone receiver back on and helped Rei off the bed and down to the table.  Rei quietly 
thanked Minako for her concern and then began to half-heartedly resume her studies, still 
visibly upset that she wouldn't be going to the concert.  Behind them, the winner of the 
last set of tickets was announced, but before the caller's celebration was over, Rei 
reached back and switched the radio off.  They studied in silence for the rest of the night.
	A few hours later, the girls adjourned the meeting for the night.  Rei had gotten 
some of her work done, but the disappointment still loomed over her.  The other girls 
gathered their things together, gave Rei some words of reassurance and sympathy, and 
then left.
	Rei put her books in her bag and began to change into her pajamas.  She had just 
changed when she heard a light knock on her door.  She really wasn't in the mood for 
visitors, but walked over to the door and opened it anyway.
	"Konbanwa, Rei-san."
	"Yuuichiro?"
	"Hai.  May I come in?"
	Rei gestured for Yuuichiro to enter, but this was not the Yuuichiro she was used 
to seeing.  She knew he was head-over-heels for her, and usually was head-over-heels 
trying to impress her, but the Yuuichiro standing in her room was much more sedate and 
thoughtful.
	"Rei-san..." he said, but could not finish his thought.  Instead, he simply handed 
her a small envelope.
	She slowly and curiously opened the envelope and pulled out the contents.  Her 
eyes grew to the size of saucers when she laid her eyes on two front-row tickets with the 
word "Cringe" and the date of November 15, 1997 stamped all over them.  She leapt at 
him and flung her arms around him.  "Arigato, Yuuichiro-san!  Arigato!!" she screamed 
as a tear of joy escaped from the corner of one of her eyes.  "When did you get these, 
Yuuichiro-san?"
	"Yesterday morning.  This concert and the radio contest is all you've been talking 
about for the past week.  So, after you left for school each morning, I'd turn your radio 
back on and listen.  I just got lucky."
	"Are you asking me on a date, Yuuichiro-san?" Rei asked with a hopeful gleam in 
her eye.
	Yuuichiro winced, but because Rei was still squeezing him in a bear hug, she 
fortunately did not see how much the question stung.  "Gomen, Rei-san.  I really wanted 
to ask you to the concert, and I would have if I'd won the tickets sooner.  But see, I've 
been trying to get back into my own music, and passing around demo tapes to club 
owners and such.  I got a call this morning.  A club in Roppongi booked me for the same 
night.  Gomen, Rei-san."
	Rei pulled back from Yuuichiro and could see the hurt on his face at his bad luck.  
"Daijobu, Yuuichiro-san.  I will find someone to use the other ticket."  Yuuichiro nodded 
to Rei.  He was happy that she would find a friend to go with her and the ticket would not 
go to waste.  "But I hope we can still have that date," she added unexpectedly.
	Yuuichiro's expression changed to one of immense joy and he shouted, "All 
right!" letting the old emotional and impulsive Yuuichiro out again.  He proudly walked 
back to the door, slid it open, turned back to Rei, said "goodnight", then left.
	Rei watched him leave with a smile stretched across her face.  This was the 
happiest she had been in a long time, and hoped that when they did go on their date, she 
could tell him how she truly felt about him.
	It didn't take long for Yuuichiro to follow through on asking Rei out.  The next 
weekend, he invited her out for a simple dinner and a movie date, which she gladly 
accepted.  Yuuichiro was a perfect gentleman all the way through and they both talked 
about each other, the shrine, music, her friends and how he wished he had friends that he 
was that close to.  They ate at a fairly popular pizza place nearby the shrine, and saw the 
premiere of "Con Air".  After the movie, they walked home, hand-in-hand, but Rei still 
did not feel comfortable really opening up completely to Yuuichiro, although she felt that 
she was giving him some really good hints.  Yuuichiro walked her to her room, and 
before she went inside and retired for the evening, they did exchange a single passionate 
kiss.
	Unfortunately, increased business at the shrine and a sudden increase in 
homework kept Rei and Yuuichiro from going out on any other dates prior to the concert.  
Rei wished she were going with Yuuichiro, but instead, talked Minako into going with 
her.
	The few weeks until the concert seemed to drag by, then it was time.  Minako met 
Rei at the shrine the night of the concert, and then they both took the bus to the Nippon 
Budokan.
	The place was packed to the rafters with thousands of Cringe fans.  The stage 
where the band was to play looked like a speck of dust in a human sea.  Rei and Minako 
waded their way through the people and made it to their seats.  Rei and Minako chit-
chatted about school, boys, homework and such for many minutes until finally the lights 
went down slowly and the spotlights illuminated the stage.  A few minutes later, shadows 
moved across the stage to where guitars were on racks and a shadow moved behind the 
drum kit.  Then suddenly, a guitar chord pierced through the low roar of everyone talking 
amongst themselves and simultaneously the lights blazed down on the band.  The show 
was on!
	Everyone jumped to their feet immediately and it was only halfway through the 
first song that people were moving the folding chairs out of the way, so that the audience 
could press up against the front to try and get a better look at their idols.  Masahiro was 
playing to the crowd, and it just egged them on to push closer.  Rei and Minako were 
crushed up against the safety barriers that formed a sort of neutral zone between the stage 
and the front row where security guards kept an eye on everyone.  Rei looked up with a 
huge smile on her face.  Masahiro's voice was in perfect tune tonight and Rei enjoyed his 
singing.
	The concert continued on for three hours solid, and after the first few songs, the 
pressure of the crowd pushing towards the front began to subside, making Rei and 
Minako a little less uncomfortable.
	At about eleven o'clock, the band completed their scheduled show and wished 
everyone goodnight, but the amount of applause and chants for an encore brought them 
back out for two more songs before they completely wrapped up.  Rei was in heaven.  
She got to see her singing idol live and in-person.  Nothing could have made this night 
better for her, or so she thought.
	As the people were filing out of the stadium, several security guards came 
tromping through the neutral zone and were stopping some of the women in the first 
several rows.  Rei watched as the guards tapped the women on the shoulder, asked them 
something, then the women went hysterical and jumped the barrier with the help of the 
guards.  Must be the groupies, Rei thought as she and Minako grabbed their coats and 
were about to leave.  Rei felt someone tap her on the shoulder.  She turned around and 
saw one of the guards there.
	"Excuse me, miss, but if you would like to come backstage...?" the guard asked.
	Rei was torn for a second and looked to her companion for help deciding.
	"I'll hang around outside for a while, Rei-chan," Minako offered.  Rei smiled and 
thanked her friend, then accompanied the guard backstage.
	Down in the dressing rooms, the after-concert party was already in full swing.  
The band members were already enjoying the alcohol and food that was sitting out on a 
table, and were socializing with a large group of hysterical, yet uninhibited, women.  It 
truly was a scene of debauchery as a couple of these young women pulled up their shirts 
to reveal their bare breasts and the band members would douse them with alcohol and lick 
it off.  Rei was starting to feel nauseated and was about to leave when 
she noticed a single figure sitting away from the titillating scene going on, but also 
surrounded by several women.  Rei looked closer and noted it was Masahiro.  He seemed 
to be avoiding the lewdness and having friendly conversations with several of his female 
fans.  Rei looked on as the women got autographs and then shortly departed, averting 
their eyes from the more lascivious activities going on.
	After the crowd around Masahiro had thinned out some, Rei decided to approach 
him and waited her turn to speak with him.  When it was her turn, he initiated the 
conversation by asking, "What did you think of the concert?"
	"It was terrific!" Rei responded.  "Could I get your autograph, Masahiro-san?"
	"Of course," he replied, gentlemanly.
	"You've really been an inspiration to me, Masahiro-san."
	"Really?  How?"
	"I've always wanted to be a star vocalist or voice actress, and because of your 
music, I've started to pursue it a bit more.  I've written songs, and there is a band in my 
neighborhood that I sometimes practice with."
	"Excellent!  Would you tell me about your songs?"
	Rei blushed.  She wasn't prepared for him taking this kind of interest in her.  Rei 
recited a few of her songs' lyrics by heart and even sang a few bars of the music she had 
written.  Masahiro seemed genuinely impressed.
	"Sugoi!  Rei-san, I think one day you will be a world-class vocalist!"  Masahiro 
suddenly yawned.  "Gomen, it's getting a bit late.  Would you like to walk across the 
street to the hotel and we could continue this?"
	Rei thought for a second.  "A friend of mine is waiting for me outside."
	"It's all right, the hotel is right across the street, and I won't keep you too long."
	"Hai!"
	Masahiro excused himself from the party, which got a chorus of playful boos 
from the groupies as well as his bandmates.  He escorted Rei via a tunnel to the hotel 
across the street and they rode the elevator up to his suite, chatting the whole while.  
They talked about how he got his start and he asked her a lot about herself.
	They reached his huge hotel room and like a true gentleman, he asked Rei if she 
wanted something to drink.
	"Pepsi would be fine," she replied.  He bowed slightly, then left the hotel room to 
go get her drink.  She looked around his hotel room for a few minutes while she waited 
for him to return.  Rei looked at herself in the mirror, and examined the red blouse she 
wore and black slacks, hoping that everything was just right.  She wanted to make a good 
impression to her idol.
	Masahiro returned after a few minutes with an open can of Pepsi.  "Here you go!" 
he said, handing it to her.
	She thanked him and took a sip of it.  For a split second, the taste seemed a bit 
odd, but she thought nothing more of it and sat down on the large king-size bed in his 
room as he began to ask her about herself again.
	At first, his questions about her seemed innocent enough.  He asked about her 
folks, her friends, what attracted her to his music, and what her favorite colors were.  Rei 
happily answered all his questions, but then became slightly alarmed when his questions 
began to change tone.  He started to ask her about if she had a boyfriend or had many 
boyfriends, followed that with a question about what kinds of underwear she wore, and 
then the one that really got Rei concerned was that he asked her flat out if she was a 
virgin.
	Alarms began to ring in Rei's head that told her something was very wrong and 
that she needed to leave, now!  Rei stood up off the bed, but her legs suddenly wobbled 
and collapsed beneath her!  "Nani?" she asked herself, but then noticed that the room was 
beginning to spin.  She managed to get back up, sitting on her knees, but the room was 
swirling around her now, making her feel dizzy.  She looked directly at Masahiro and 
noticed that his expression hadn't changed one bit.  She grabbed the edge of the bed and 
tried to pull herself back up to her feet, but now her arms buckled and she fell to the floor 
in a heap.  She grunted and groaned as she tried to at least sit up, but her body was 
refusing to comply with her thoughts.  She lay there next to the bed, sweating profusely 
from her efforts, but the more she fought, the less she felt in control.  She could sense 
someone standing behind her and fought to turn her head and saw Masahiro standing over 
her with a scowl on his face.  He reached down and grabbed her wrists and pulled her up 
and over his shoulder like she was a rag doll.  Her limp body hung there, and Rei thought 
for a moment that he was going to take her somewhere to get help, maybe even to 
Minako, but when she felt herself slam down onto the bed, she knew what was coming.  
Tears began to well in her eyes, and she tried to fight, but her body did not respond to her 
wishes.  Unfortunately, Rei could feel everything that was happening.  She felt 
Masahiro's hands begin to grope her and touch her through her clothes and immediately, 
Rei tried to scream, but her vocal cords wouldn't work.  She tried to scream and no sound 
came out.  She felt the dizziness getting worse and the room was spinning so bad that she 
could feel herself on the brink of passing out.  She fought to stay conscious, but lost the 
fight at the same time that Masahiro took a hold of her red blouse up by her neck and tore 
it open, buttons popping in all directions.  Then everything went black.

	Rei suddenly turned away, burst into tears and cried violently, but silently, just 
feet away from her friends in the congratulatory line with the other graduates.  The pain 
of the incident was overwhelming.  She had tried so hard not to think about it for the last 
year and half, but once she started, she could not stop the flood of images about what 
happened next from entering her mind.  She remembered briefly feeling Masahiro's 
hands and mouth roaming all over her body, then her clothes were torn off her, and then the 
intense pain as Masahiro took from her one of the most precious things and the one thing 
she had sworn that would only be given to the man she loved with all her heart and would 
marry.
	She tried to calm down and let the images pass, and in time they did so.

	Rei passed completely out after Masahiro finished raping her.  She didn't regain 
consciousness until early the next morning.
	She sat up in the king-sized bed, and discovered that at some point, Masahiro had 
pulled the bedspread and top sheets away and put her in the bed.  She looked down at her 
nakedness, and then noticed the huge puddle of red between and on her thighs.  
Immediately, the realization of what happened and the images all coalesced.  Tears began 
to flood from her eyes and she began to cry with gutteral sounds, like that of a wounded 
animal.  She planted her face in her palms and sat there in the bed, unmoving aside from 
her cries for nearly an hour, when the tears dried up and she didn't have the tears to cry 
any more.
	It was only then that she looked around and realized that not only was she alone in 
the room, but all traces of Masahiro were gone!  His clothes, his toiletries, everything!  
She looked at the clock and discovered it was ten in the morning.  Checkout time would 
be coming soon, she realized.  She did not want some maid discovering her here, like 
this!
	Rei climbed out of the bed and stood up, but groaned loudly as a wave of pain 
from her lower abdomen and inner thighs gripped her.  A surge of anger and rage swept 
through her.  "What the hell did that son-of-a-bitch do to me?!" she cried out loud.  The 
rage became so intense that Rei suddenly felt severely nauseous.  She bolted into the 
bathroom, lifted the lid of the toilet and saw something floating in the bowl that nearly 
made her burst into tears again.
	The water in the toilet had a slight reddish tinge, and floating on the surface was a 
used condom.  Rei couldn't hold back any longer and heaved.  She knelt on the cold 
bathroom floor and heaved again and again, uncontrollably.
	After several minutes of just sitting there by the toilet, in a daze, Rei stood up, 
almost mechanically, turned on the shower and stepped in.  She rinsed herself off for 
several minutes, then stepped out and dried off.  She walked back into the main room and 
began to search for her clothes.  Her bra was torn and unwearable.  She threw it out, and 
then saw her favorite red blouse on the floor, all but two buttons ripped off.  She 
emotionlessly picked it up and put it on, buttoning it up the best she could.  She located 
her underwear and slacks, found them relatively undamaged and finished dressing.  She 
put on her jacket and walked out of the room.
	She left the hotel unnoticed and walked down the streets towards the Hikawa 
Shrine.  Every step of the way, she fought to keep her mind blank, to not think of what 
happened to her.  Her resolve wavered when she passed by a bush wall along the 
sidewalk.  A rush of images of Masahiro flashed through her head:  him stripping her, the 
nasty things he said to her, his hands all over her body, the pain she felt when he?.
	Rei suddenly turned and heaved into the bush one more time.  She collapsed to 
her knees and clutched her jacket closer to herself and wiped her mouth on her jacket.  
She fought the images out of her mind again, stood, and continued to walk.
	The walk to the shrine was long and tiring.  By early afternoon, however, Rei 
reached the tall set of stairs that would lead her to the shrine.  As she ascended them, she 
silently hoped to herself that she could simply slip into her room unnoticed, take a 
shower, get some rest and consider what she was going to do about this crime that had 
been perpetrated against her.
	She would have no such luck.  As she climbed towards the top and was able to get 
a view of the shrine grounds, she saw Usagi, Mamoru, Ami, Minako, Makoto, Yuuichiro, 
her grandfather, Luna, and Artemis seated at the main building, just like she used to 
gather with her friends long ago.  She hesitated on the stairs, but no sooner had she 
caught sight of them than Usagi caught sight of her.  "Rei-chan!" she shouted and 
everyone looked towards the stairs.
	Rei couldn't go back now.  She clutched her jacket tightly around her and walked 
to the top of the stairs as Usagi and the others ran to her and started to bombard her with 
questions.  They all asked her repeatedly where she was, especially Minako, who was the 
most worried when she didn't come out of the arena two hours after she went backstage.  
Rei explained that the after-gig party got a little wild and she wound up falling asleep on 
a couch.  She told everyone that she slept in the arena until early in the morning, went for 
breakfast at a nearby caf鬠and then walked home.  She apologized to Minako, even a bit 
excessively, which puzzled her.
	"We're just glad you're home," Yuuichiro said, then put his arms around Rei, but 
in an instant, Rei batted his arms away.
	"Don't touch me!" she shouted at him, then realized her outburst.  "Gomen nasai, 
Yuuichiro-san, but I am tired and would like to rest."
	Yuuichiro still wore a confused look on his face, but nodded to Rei.  "Arigato, 
minna-chan.  I need to sleep."
	"Would you still like to get together later and hang out at Crown arcade?" Usagi 
asked, concerned.
	"Hai," Rei distantly responded, then slowly walked into the shrine and made her 
way to her room.  The moment the door closed, Rei shed her clothes and threw them all 
in the trash and then jumped into the shower again.
	"I can't tell them," Rei thought as her tears began to well again.  "I'm the Senshi 
of Fire, the hot-head, the one who is supposed to be able to handle herself in any 
situation, and the one who is supposed to be best at kicking butt.  How would I look 
telling them that I let some guy drug me, then rape me?  They'd never look at me the 
same again.  I have to keep this to myself.  They rely on me.  And what am I gonna do 
about Masahiro?  I don't have any evidence!  I can't prove a thing!  I was stupid enough 
to go to his room!  They'd take one look at the case and tell me that I asked for it.  But I 
swear on the Great Fire, than one day, Masahiro, you will pay for what you did to me!"
	Rei finished her shower, put on her pajamas and was about to climb into bed 
when she looked at her walls and saw all of the pictures and posters of Cringe, and more 
importantly, of her rapist.  She walked up to the first one and in a single swipe, tore it off 
the wall.  She did it to the next one and the next one.  She tore every single picture or 
poster off her wall that said, "Cringe" or had that bastard's face on it.  When she tore 
down all the posters, she went to her CD collection, took all the Cringe CD's out and 
threw them in the garbage as well.
	Rei slept that afternoon and went out with Usagi and the others that night and 
played games for a while in the Crown arcade and also had a late-night sundae in a 
nearby ice cream parlor.  They brought Rei home at around midnight and she again went 
to her room and intended to go to sleep.  But something was still nagging at her.  The 
trash can!  She had to try and bury this horrible chapter of her life.
	Rei tiptoed around the shrine and made sure that everyone was asleep.  She then 
returned to her room and collected her henshin wand and the trashcan with all of the 
Cringe crap stuffed into it.  She slipped out of her chamber and walked out to a secluded 
part of the shrine grounds and put the trash can out in an open area.
	"MARS CRYSTAL POWER!  MAKE-UP!"
	In a bright flash of light and flutter of her sailor fuku, Sailor Mars stood there, 
eyeing the trash can that sat on the ground fifty feet from where she stood, feeling the 
anger and rage boiling over again, wanting it to boil over, wanting to vent her anger and 
pain somehow?
	"FIRE SOUL!"  Rei launched a single fireball at the trashcan and engulfed it in 
flames.  Rei collapsed to her knees, feeling strangely at peace with herself.  She allowed 
herself to transform back into her civilian garb and simply watched the trashcan burn and 
the contents turn to ash.  She almost could feel her innocence burning along with the 
paper and CD's.
	Rei returned to her chamber after the fire finally exhausted all its fuel.  She 
changed into her pajamas and slept.
	Rei continued to be the shoulder that everyone leaned on.  She gave her support to 
Usagi during her mother's fight with a brain tumor, Minako after she interrupted the 
grocery store robbery and was shot, Makoto when her aunt duped her and embezzled 
away her inheritance, and Ami when she discovered she was pregnant.  Over that year, 
she tried to make things right with Yuuichiro, but never could find a way to tell him what 
exactly happened.  He figured that she was upset with him for something, but felt good 
that they were still friends, and never gave up hope for that second date.
	Rei continued to visit the Zombie Horseradish members and sing with them on 
occasion all the way up to her graduation.  She brought them new lyrics and new songs 
each time they met.  Her "bandmates" were the only ones that began to suspect 
something had happened to her.  Her bubblegum songs and lyrics were long gone.  The 
songs and lyrics she began to bring were of a darker, painful tone.  The lyrics resembled 
Nine Inch Nails or KMFDM now, instead of Backstreet Boys or Spice Girls.  Kenji, 
Tadashi, and Takahiro never were able to say it to Rei, but privately they discussed the 
new material Rei brought to them and agreed that this new, darker stuff was much better 
than her previous lighter work, and with Rei's help, began to fully develop them into 
songs.  For the first time, there was a good chance that Zombie Horseradish could 
become a full-blown band and perform someday.

	Rei wiped her eyes dry under the tree, then turned around in time to see Usagi, 
Ami, Makoto, and Minako throw their mortarboards into the air along with all of the 
other graduates.  They briefly celebrated, then called Rei and Mamoru back over and all 
six of them celebrated together.
	For the first time, it felt to her as if she and the other senshi would finally lead 
normal lives for a while.