Title: Sailorvenus R.I.P. Author: DDFA (Mark Andrew Page) Email: ayanami@merlin.net.au ICQ: 9845111 Fic Rating: G -------------------------------------------------------------------- This fic is based on the short story, as told by Tom Baker, in the "Who on Earth is Tom Baker" video. It's such a good story, I thought it might be worth warping into an SM fanfic. ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- All characters pertaining to Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon are the creation of Takeuchi Naoko, and are being used without her permission in this fanfiction. -------------------------------------------------------------------- S A I L O R V E N U S - R. I. P. by Dark Day for Anime (Mark Andrew Page) -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Sailorsenshi of Crystal Tokyo never asked for much, but they were given it anyway. Of course, it was only natural that such important members of the Kingdom's hierachy should have entire mini- empires all of their own.... Serenity was a very giving Queen. And so, being partial to the social set, the Senshi of Venus chose to base herself in an inner city apartment building.... A very LARGE inner city apartment building, where she resided along with her almost 3000 strong staff. She had everything she wanted within easy reach.... The theaters, the tv and radio studios, the open air galas, the premier shopping district, the restaurants, the fairgrounds.... But no matter how hard her staff tried, whenever she was invited to a function within one of these easy to reach venues, she always seemed to be late. It was almost as if some tiny mechanism within her mind shut off important dates and threw her, neck deep, into a ditz mire. And, of course, having been invited, she HAD to attend, just one of the many duties of a Senshi of Crystal Tokyo. Today's was the Autism Week Luncheon, being held at the Crystal Tokyo Hyatt. And, of course, she was late and in a lather. She'd charged out of her penthouse apartment, dressed in a flamboyant mockery of her official senshi gown (Venus was not one for sartorial modesty) into the main lift, leading to the lobby. Behind her trailed her courtesans, in an equivalent state of panic, worrying that she might do something incredibly stupid again. As the lift doors opened in the lobby of her apartment building, she and her page came charging out, screaming like a pair of wounded banshees, causing all and sundry to scatter in every direction. "Gawd, she's late again." Ingmar, one of the lobby security guards watched as the pair disappeared through the revolving front doors. He turned to his partner, Jersey, who was watching the pair skidding to a halt at the kerbside taxi rank on one of the security monitors. "Ere.... Hasn't she got a private chauffeur service?" "Not today she hasn't." Jersey sniffed. "Why's that, then?" Ingmar scratched his head as he sat down behind the security desk. Jersey sighed and looked at him, painfully. "Cos they're on strike.... Something about a pay dispute with the local authorities. Don't you watch the morning news or suffink?" "Nah. They aven't got anything to say, do they?" Ingmar shrugged as he turned to Jersey. "So, that why she's in such a fit, cos she has ta take a taxi?" "Yeah.... This should be interestin' for the driver." Jersey smirked. ----o Venus turned to her page. "I have to say, this must be The Best taxi rank I've ever come across. Not a single cab in sight." She sighed as she caught her breath. "Venus-sama.... You really should allow the Palace Guardoliers to take you to the luncheon...." Her page, a young woman with light brown hair, a round face and a slightly upturned nose by the name of Sophie, tugged on her mistress's sleeve. Venus turned to her with an exasperated look. "And how long will it take to arrange that?" She huffed. "Why didn't any of you try to wake me earlier?" "We did try, Venus-sama.... But you told us to pi...." "Yes, that'll be enough of that." Venus spied a yellow object sailing through the traffic towards them, some way up the street. Throwing her arm into the air, and jumping with great effort, she shouted.... "TAXI! TAAAAAXIIII! HERE TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI, HERE BOY!" And much to her surprise, the vehicle proceeded to cut through great banks of moving metal in an effort to reach her, coming to a sudden halt in front of her. "Now THAT'S what I call service." She smiled, and reached to open the rear door, beaten to it by her altogether too-eager page. After giving Sophie a stern look, Venus stepped into the rear of the cab, taking in the somewhat dubious odor of its interior. It had been a long time since she had taken a taxi in Tokyo, and now she remembered why. Sophie closed the door behind her as she buckled herself in, finding it a bit of a chore with her expansive coat and dress. Sophie then opened the front passenger door of the cab and got in herself, noticing that the taxi driver was open mouthed at the sight of the passenger in the rear seat. "Ahem." She tried to get his attention, failed. "A-HEM." This time, she succeeded. "Uh, yes?" The driver was a middle-aged, balding individual of indefinable descent, and a deep, croaky voice, generated by a heavy addiction to nicotine. Sophie was wildly embarrassed that her mistress should have to travel in such a vehicle with such a driver.... But those were the vagaries of Venus. "The Hyatt Regency, Emerald Way." She closed the door behind her and wrestled with her seatbelt. "Right you are, lady." The driver nodded, hitting the clock and steering the taxi into the traffic, occasionally glancing at his rear-seat passenger in the mirror. Sophie studied him as he did this, wondering when he would finally break and ask the expected question. They were halfway there when it happened, although not quite in the manner she'd thought. "I know who you are, don't I?" He half-turned to Venus as they stopped at a set of red lights. Venus, who had been glancing out of the window, absent-mindedly, turned to him in surprise. "Hmm? What was that?" She blinked. "I know who you are." He smiled. "You're one of those Sailorsenshi girls, aren't you?" Venus smiled politely, used to the kind of attention the driver was giving her. "Yes, I am." She nodded. "Well, I must say.... It's a pleasure to have you in my cab, Sailorjupiter." Both Venus and Sophie facefaulted at the driver's statement, just as he turned back to the lights, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Ano..." Sophie started. "Yes, you've always been my favourite amongst the Sailorsenshi, Miss Jupiter. Such a noble face.... Strong, determined eyes, ready for action, yet kind and caring at the same time." Venus nodded, sweatdropping as the lights went green and he pulled away from the intersection. "I've followed your career ever since I was a young boy, you know.... Always getting into arguments with the other boys in school over who of you was the best. They were all right, in their own way.... But I know youz was the best..." After receiving this kind of misdirected flattery, Venus didn't have the heart to break the drivers misperception, doing her best to silence her page as best she could.... She could see Sophie was just DYING to correct him, but a few tight, and mildly painful, squeezes of her arm put pay to that. Sophie sat back in her seat with her arms crossed, staring out of the passenger window. "So... Umm.... Which of the senshi did you like the least?" She felt she had to ask the question. She HAD to know. The driver looked aside at her in surprise, then turned back to the road. "Which one was it.... The bubblehead.... You know, the social butterfly who was always going from party to party, as drunk as the day is long.... The one with blond hair." For a moment, Venus wondered whether she should laugh or cry. "Sailorvenus?" "Yes, that's the one...." The driver announced, triumphantly. "Always drinking, she was.... Loved the good life. Course, she seemed to go off the boil in latter years.... All that partying can't be good for you. I wonder what she's doing now?" "She died." Venus said, quickly. Both the driver and Sophie looked back at her. "She went to pieces.... You're right, all that partying and stuff is no good for you... Her mind just went, and she was placed in an asylum in the Palace. But it was too late. She died in excruciating agony." "Did she?" The driver turned back to the road, biting his lip. "What a shame.... Still, you were my favourite, Miss Jupiter. And you're still around." He gave her the thumbs up, and leaned back in his seat, pondering. "Funny, though.... I didn't hear much about her passing. I would have thought there'd be a state funeral and all that." "They kept it all very quiet, because of the way she died." Sophie interjected, shooting her mistress a murderous glare. Venus shrugged, turning back to her windowgazing. "Ah, I see.... Makes sense, I suppose...." The driver trailed off, and it was quiet for the rest of the journey. ----o The taxi pulled into the front entrance of the Crystal Tokyo Hyatt Regency. For a few moments, the front doorman didn't know whether to open the taxi door or not, considering the less than regal state of the vehicle. The sight of Venus, struggling to make her own way out from the back, as her page paid the taxi fare, forced him into action, stepping down to the taxi and taking Venus by the hand. "My lady." He tipped his hat to her, and she returned the gesture with a smile. "Excuse me, Miss Jupiter...." Venus heard the taxi driver's voice as she and Sophie were lead away from the cab by the doorman. They paused and turned to see the driver step from the taxi and up the main steps with his logbook. "Can you sign your autograph in this, Miss Jupiter.... For the boys back at the station." He held the front of the logbook out to her, open, a proffered pen in the other hand. Despite Sophie's misgivings, Venus took the logbook and the pen, smiling. "I'll be more than happy to." "This is just great.... The guys will freak out, something furious." The taxi driver was on his toes with excitement as Venus placed the pen against the inside front cover of the logbook, considering what she should write. The pen almost moved by itself. 'TO THE BOYS OF THE YELLOW CAB SERVICE, BEST WISHES FROM A SATISFIED CUSTOMER, SAILORVENUS R.I.P.' And with that, she shut the book and handed it and the pen back to the driver. "Don't open that up until you get back to the station, you hear me?" She wagged a finger in front of him as he held the holy grail, tightly. "No, Miss Jupiter." He did a little dance and jogged back down the front stairs to his taxi. Venus watched as he got back into the taxi and drove away, then felt an elbow, digging into her ribs. She turned to Sophie, who was giving her a murderous look. "I don't mean to be rude, Venus-sama, but...." "Ehehehe...." Venus giggled. "Well, I suppose he earned what he got. And besides.... There's precious little fun for a Senshi to be found in this town." And the pair entered the front of the Hyatt, exactly ten minutes late.... THE END -------------------------------------------------------------------- _________ / @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page) / / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au /\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of \/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan \___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese /_/ \_\ PU Animation Society Version 1.0 - Tuesday, November 24th 1998