Title: Shining Through By: Destiny Rose Rating: PG e-mail: Destiny_Rose@gmx.net Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters, I'm just burrowing them. The story is mine though. This is my first story so, please tell me what you think about it!!! I want to dedicate this story to my mom who died exactly one year ago(Jan.18th,2000). She had always given me the strength to do ever I wanted to do. Writing this fic somehow freed me and I felt a lot better after having finished it; that's because a lot of Mamoru's feeling in my story are my own. I also want to dedicate this story to my good friend Mamolove; without her help I would have never posted this story and I think I would have never finished it as well. Thanks, for all the time you spent helping me with my story!!! And I also want to thank you for being such wonderful friend. * hug* ************************************************************* @ ---- Shining Through --<-- @ The stars shone brightly on the night sky of Tokyo. Everything seemed to be calm and quiet but suddenly a cry of a man's shock and terror erupted.... and was frighteningly silenced by a thunderous crash. There was nothing but darkness and silence after that. "What's his status?" "Serious back injury, multiple lacerations, he's lost a lot of blood!" "How long has he been unconscious?" "45 minutes. We had to revive him ........ Oh my God!.. we're losing him again!" "Shit! Bring the boy to the OR stat!" Mamoru found himself in one of his countless nightmares again. There was only darkness around him and he felt incredibly lonely. Suddenly he heard the crying of a child somewhere; he followed the sound until he saw where it had come from: a little boy at about the age of 6 was sitting on a hospital bed sobbing desperately, "Mommy, Daddy! Why did you leave me all alone?" Mamoru tried to reach out for the child who was himself but found that he couldn't. Looking down his body he saw chains around his wrists and ankles. He tried to break free but was simply too weak to do so. Then suddenly his younger self disappeared into the darkness once more and there was only silence again. Mamoru panicked . He had to get out of that nightmare quickly! Night after night the same scary dream haunted his sleep. He had enough of all the silence and darkness around him; one minute longer and he was sure he would go insane. He needed to see light and hear voices, if only the one of a speaker in the radio or those of the actors in some stupid movie. He forced himself to wake up, hoping his brain would carry out his plans to slip into consciousness again. Mamoru's eyes shot open but there was still no light. When things came into focus again he realized that it was already night.... the reason for the darkness. He then became aware of the fact that he was not in his apartment. He tried hard to remember what had happened. The last thing he knew was driving home from work.. and then it struck him like thunder..... the car crash!.. He remembered a bright white light that had surrounded him only to fade away a few seconds later . He looked around the room once more which seemed vaguely familiar. He took a deep breath and from the clinical smell he could tell that he was in a hospital. He hated hospitals from the depths of his soul ever since that one fateful night so many years ago and Mamoru felt a stinging pain in his heart at this memory. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to collect his thoughts again. When he opened them again he suddenly became aware of his aching body and the terrible headache he had. Touching his forehead he could feel several cuts and bruises. But they were meaningless compared to the aching of his heart. He needed to get out of that hospital as quickly as possible. To many things that had been buried deep inside his soul for a very long time came to surface once more and he didn't want to relive past events once more. He had fought too long to become the man that he was now to remember all those terrible things from his past and to feel like a little boy again. He had become a very proud and ambitious young man who could do very well without anybody's help and he liked it that way. Deciding it was time to get out of that dreaded hospital Mamoru tried to get out of his bed to no avail. He made a second attempt but still couldn't get up. Then.... THUD!! Mamoru found himself on the hard tile floor again. That was when he realized that he couldn't move or even feel his legs anymore. At the same nurse entered the room. time the door opened and an elderly "Oh my! Come on, I'll help you get into your bed again. How did you manage to get out of it anyway?" With that she lifted the young man from the floor and helped him into his bed again. Mamoru could only wonder how in the world such a small person could lift a grown man from the floor. When he finally became aware of his current situation and had found his voice again he asked, "Where am I and what happened to me? Why can't I feel my legs anymore?" "Calm down Mr. Chiba. Try to sleep now. It's late and the doctor will look after you tomorrow morning." The nurse comforted him, or at least tried to but Mamoru only got more furious and snarled at the poor nurse, "CALM DOWN? YOU ACTUALLY DARE TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN? I WANT TO SEE A DOCTOR NOW! I WANT SOME ANSWERS!" The old woman could only stare at the young man in front of her who obviously was very confused about his current situation and she couldn't help herself but feel pity for this boy. She didn't know why but to her he almost looked lost. Mamoru yelled at her for some more minutes before he felt something sting his right arm. The last thing he saw before he dozed off into a peaceful slumber was a syringe in the nurse's hand. The next morning Mamoru's head hurt terribly, whatever the nurse had given him must have been something to paralyze a wild bull. He could barely recall last night's events but he could remember about his legs and about his outburst of anger which had been directed at the poor nurse. He definitely had to apologize to her later. "Good morning Mr. Chiba." Mamoru looked up to see a man in a white coat- obviously a doctor- enter his room. "My name is Dr. Yamamoto. How are you today?" "How do you think I feel? I can't move or even feel my legs !" Mamoru answered coldly. "I'm sorry. Well, about your current situation: you got hurt quite badly in that car accident; you had more luck than the other driver though. He had been drunk and died on impact. Unfortunately your back was hurt seriously and that's why you can't move your legs." Foreseeing Mamorus next question the doctor continued his speech, "We don't know if it temporarily or permanent. That's why we transferred you from Tokyo hospital to this special clinic yesterday." " How long have I been unconscious?" Mamoru interrupted. "For about a week Mr. Chiba. A special team will take care of you here and a personal trainer will help you to learn to walk again, if possible. You just have to work very hard on yourself and in a few weeks we might see some progress ..... you just have to believe in yourself, young man!" Dr. Yamamoto exclaimed almost cheerfully before adding, " Do you have any relatives we should call Mr. Chiba? We tried to find somebody after nobody had asked for you for a week, but we couldn't find anybody." "That's okay. There is nobody I'd like to see anyway." Mamoru frowned. "I'll leave now. You will meet your trainer at noon." And with that the doctor exited the room and left Mamoru to his own thoughts again. He thought about his job and knew they would fire him for not showing up a week. Also would he have to do a lot of studying after he got out of that clinic. Suddenly the doctor's words hit him: they didn't know if he could ever walk again. Now that he thought of it he became quite desperate. He, who loved to jog in the morning and go to karate lessons at night and eventually would climb trees to view a wonderful sunset, would possibly never be able to do those things again.... Those that had become so precious to him over the years. The thought of being stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life disgusted him, scared him. If it was going to be like that it would have been better when he had died in the crash but he had thought that a long time ago as well, after his parents had died. He then remembered his days at the orphanage which he had tried so hard to forget: Whenever "new parents" had arrived, all the kids tried to look their best and behave as properly as possible to impress the potential parents. He had always tried to look as innocent and friendly as possible but nobody ever wanted him. They always took the blonde ones, nobody was interested in a raven haired boy with sad eyes. Mamoru had learned then that he would always be alone, that nobody would ever love him. Life had abandoned him. It hurt to think about it but Mamoru knew it was the truth. He would be alone for the rest of his life and die alone one day. How he wished he would have died in that last accident then he would not have to feel the pain anymore. "Who would ever love you, Mamoru? What is there to like about you? Sure there are a lot of girls drooling over your looks. If they knew the true me they'd be gone in a second." He sighed and then fell back on his bed and silent tears began roll down his cheeks. Tears for his lost childhood and tears for an already lost future. He was lying on his bed silently for a long time letting the pillow be soaked by his sorrow filled tears. "I hate hospital food!" a very frustrated Mamoru stated as he put down his fork disgustedly...... "Nobody could possibly like that!" It reminded him of his first stay at a hospital. The nurses had tried to make him eat that awful stuff and he remembered gulping down the stuff that tasted like nothing at all. He had always hated that food and had sworn to never eat it again in his life and here he was...eating hospital food. Suddenly he heard a voice on the corridor pleading, "Miss, could I please have another pudding. I like it sooooo much!" Mamoru could only shake his head in disbelief. Then he became aware of the most wonderful voice he had ever heard in his entire life saying, "Sorry Mr. Jameson but you already had two of them today but I promise if you'll work very hard tomorrow at our therapy you'll get an extra pudding. How does that sound?" "You promise?" "I promise!" and with that the cheerful voice entered Mamoru's room. He couldn't believe his eyes; in front of him stood the most beautiful being he had ever seen. A young woman at about the age of 21 or 22 stood in the doorway looking at Mamoru. He noticed her long golden hair which was done in the most unique hairstyle he had ever seen. Two buns on her head, which reminded him somehow of Odangos and the rest of her hair cascaded down from them to her ankles. Mamoru then looked at her angelic face and there he found the most beautiful baby blue eyes he had ever seen. He noticed that they radiated warmth and friendliness. "Hello Mr. Chiba! My name is Tsukino Usagi but you can call me Usagi. I am you personal trainer and we'll be working together for the next few weeks! Come on, let's get started!" The petite girl cheered. This girl definitely was too talkative and energetic for his taste. Mamoru only wanted to be left alone to think about his situation and that his life had no use anymore. He tried to tell the young woman- Usagi- to leave him alone but she didn't even notice him talking to her, she just kept on babbling. He couldn't take this no longer anger rising inside of him because of that ignorant girl; so he said or rather shouted the first thing that came into his mind: "Get lost! I don't want you help. Get on somebody else's nerves. So leave you- you.......... ODANGO ATAMA!" Usagi immediately stopped talking and at first stared at him confused before she started to glare at him furiously. "How dare you insult me like that! I didn't do anything to you and you treat me like dirt. Not with me Mister! I'll be back again in an hour and you'd better be ready then or even kami- sama himself won't be able to rescue you!!!" Mamoru had never seen so much fire and determination in somebody's eyes before and it scared him. After saying that the young woman stormed out of the room. Outside Mamoru's room Usagi stopped and wondered how she could have been so harsh with this man who had to struggle with a lot of changes in his life and surely was very desperate about his situation. But she had said those things without even thinking, nobody else had ever make her react like that. She then shrugged it off and went out of the hospital building. She had noticed that Chiba Mamoru was only wearing the hospital pyjamas and obviously had no other clothes. She wondered why nobody had brought him some. " I've got one full hour.... hm... yes.. I definitely have to do some shopping." She told herself with a big smile on her face. She only wondered why the young man she had just met had such sad eyes- although she had to admit that they were very beautiful eyes. Then she decided she would help Mamoru to learn to walk again- if he wanted or not. Then she went to the next mall. Exactly one hour later Usagi reentered Mamoru's room and found him in his bed sleeping. She then noticed how incredibly handsome he was with his black silky hair and his bangs falling over his eyes, his perfect features. She also found out that all his sadness and coldness had disappeared from his face and she decided that she definitely liked him that way much better. Usagi didn't know why but she just wanted to take all his pain and sorrow from him. Although she didn't want to disturb his peaceful slumber she knew that they didn't have time to waste. So she gently shook his shoulders to wake him up. Mamoru shot up with a start and obviously didn't know where he was at first, but when he saw the petite woman stand beside him he remembered his situation. "You'd better get up now Chiba-san! We have a lot of work to do! Oh.... and before I forget it: I bought you some clothes for you can't walk around the clinic in your pyjamas. I hope they are the right size. Try them on! I'll be back in 5 minutes!" Mamoru couldn't believe that girl: at first she had shouted at him- which he had deserved he admitted- and now she had bought him some new clothes because she had noticed that he had none. He had to smile at that. This girl really was something special. For the first time in his life Mamoru had a tingling feeling in his stomach which he couldn't explain but knew it had something to do with Usagi. After five minutes she came back and found Mamoru sitting on his bed in his new sweat-suit. She smiled and helped him into the wheelchair. They made their way through the corridors and Mamoru noticed a lot of patients greeting Usagi and telling her they waited impatiently for their next therapy with her. People here obviously liked her and she seemed to be quite a nice person. Mamoru thought about their first meeting and had to smile because nobody had ever dared to talk back to him when he was angry; then he could become really scary. She affected him like nobody ever had before. When they finally arrived in the exercise room he let Usagi tell him what to do and they made muscle training for about an hour and Mamoru was already very exhausted. Normally he was in quite good shape but this training was simply too much for him.. too much concentration and focusing. Usagi always told him to imagine how his toes or feet would move and try to send commands to his brain. Usagi was very consequent and very strict and Mamoru inwardly begged for a break though he would have never admitted that he was exhausted. Usagi noticed his sweat soaked clothes and the tired look on his face and decided it was enough for one day. "So Chiba-san, we are finished for today and you did quite fine." "We are really done for today? Great! Ah yes.. and please call me Mamoru. You already torment me now you can call me by my first name as well." "Alright, Mamoru-san then. I'll bring you back to your room now and tell a nurse to help to the bathroom because I'm sure you want to take a bath after our little session, right?" "Usagi-san?" "Hmm?" "Can we go to the garden I saw from my window before we head back to my room?" Mamoru pleaded. Usagi nodded and showed him around the hospital garden. She also showed him her favourite place- a secluded rose garden which didn't really belong to the hospital grounds. Mamoru liked that place right from the start. They stayed there for some time chatting about God and the world. "This is were I spend most of my lunch breaks at. I simply love this place... it's so peaceful and calm and I love the smell of roses." the blonde sighed dreamily. Mamoru felt a strange peacefulness wash over him which he had never felt before and he silently wondered if it was because of Usagi. Suddenly he didn't want to give up anymore, he wanted to live and he knew it had something to do with that young cheerful woman sitting beside him. Usagi for her part felt somehow strange. She had the feeling that she had come at last from an endless journey and she knew that this man- Mamoru did something to her and touched her heart in away nobody ever had. That night Mamoru slept peacefully for the first time in his life. He didn't feel so burdened with his pain anymore and most important he didn't feel alone. From that day on the training hours with Usagi was something Mamoru was always looking forward to. He loved talking to Usagi in "their" rose garden afterwards, he always felt more relaxed and calm after one of their conversations. It was almost like having a real friend he supposed- he didn't exactly know though because he had never had real friends. Usagi also appreciated the little chats with Mamoru and found that she had never talked to anybody that freely before. She knew he needed a friend and she wanted to be his but she still argued with herself because she didn't know if it was right to build up a friendship with one of her patients. All her doubts flew out of the window when she entered Mamoru's room and saw his face light up at the sight of her. Mamoru had made a lot of progress in his training the last couple of weeks and Usagi was very proud of him and herself as well when he could finally move his toes again, which was a good sign. After the muscle exercise they went to their favourite place in the rose garden to talk a little bit. Mamoru who had never told anybody about his parents' death started to wonder if he could share his secret with Usagi who seemed so full of life and love for everything and he somehow knew she wasn't like those other people back then at the hospital when he was 6 who pitied him for being an Orphan. Finally, coming out of his dream world he stated "It's a very beautiful day, don't you think Usagi-chan?" No answer...obviously he hadn't been the only one dreaming. "Usagi-chan? Hey, you in there?" "Huh?.. Oh, I'm sorry.. I was so deep in thought I didn't hear you." She answered hurriedly smiling sweetly which made Mamoru's heart melt. "What were you thinking of?" "It's just my little brother, Sammy...... getting on my nerves again, you know." "No, I don't." Mamoru whispered almost audibly; almost because Usagi still caught it. "What do you mean, you don't know. You don't have any brothers or sisters?" the young woman asked innocently. Mamoru cringed and sighed, then took a deep breath deciding that this was the only person in the universe who would understand him and maybe she could take away some of his pain and loneliness "In fact I don't have a family at all. I'm not even sure who I really am." Usagi's eyes widened in shock as Mamoru continued telling her his story. When Usagi heard of his tragedy, losing his parents and every memory of them and his horrible life at the orphanage she was shocked at first but then admired Mamoru for the strength he had to go through such adversities alone... Out of reflex action she hugged him and whispered softly through her tears "I promise you'll never be alone anymore. I'll be your friend forever." Mamoru was quite surprised by that move but he enjoyed it very much and even hugged her back. Both of them had a strange but wonderful feeling of warmth and security while they embraced but neither of them could place it. Back in his room again Mamoru was floating on cloud nine. She had actually hugged him and he couldn't believe it. He wondered if she could feel something for him too. Usagi had become the light in his darkness that guided him back from his pain and loneliness to the light side of life. Mamoru thought a lot about this strange feeling he had had when they embraced and came to the conclusion that it must have been love- he was in love with the little cheerful rabbit. His only problem was- was there a chance that she could love him too, and at that point all his doubts about life came back to him: He knew he hadn't changed and was still the cold hearted man who built up high walls of stone around him. Mamoru sighed and went to sleep. What he didn't know that somewhere in Tokyo in a small apartment a certain Blonde haired girl was thinking about him and how he was the most amazing person she had ever met. Nobody in her entire life, not even her parents had ever taken her seriously and listened to what she had to say. To them she was just a cheerful, carefree girl who seemed to have no problems. But she had; she always wanted to make everybody happy no matter if that meant that she was unhappy. She always had thought that when all the others are happy she would be happy as well. This worked for some time and she really thought everything was fine until one day she found an emptiness inside of her, a hunger for something more- for someone who would understand her and take her for what she was. Usagi liked making people happy because it was in her nature and she always wanted to help those in need, she didn't see that some people took advantage of that. Mamoru woke up very early the next morning looking forward to seeing Usagi soon. Thankfully Usagi had been so nice to sort some things out for him at his college and his work. She was very enthusiastic when she heard that Mamoru wanted to become a doctor one day to help people and save their lives. She had arranged that someone would bring him his study material so he could study while he was still in hospital. Mamoru appreciated that very much and was awfully thankful for her help and also told her that she did not have to do that but she had only shook her head and had told him that she loved doing that for a friend. At that moment Mamoru had felt very special that an angel like Usagi was calling him a friend. He remembered a conversation they had had the day before: < Tell, me Mamoru-san, what is your biggest dream?> he had said Usagi had nodded Mamoru remembered her giggling after she had said this and he had realized that their dreams were almost the same. Mamoru expected Usagi to come at noon as usual and waited for her patiently, although he knew that she always was a little late. He had fallen asleep when the noise of his door being opened woke him up. Mamoru sat up with a start and stared towards the door. In the doorway stood a tall young man with blond hair and blue eyes. Mamoru looked at him quite confused and asked him what he wanted and who he was. "Oh sorry I woke you up pal! I was looking for somebody- a girl- her name's Usagi and at the reception they told me she should be here now. Well she isn't -could have guessed that she is late! Isn't she always?" the young man laughed in an arrogant manner. A few moments later Mamoru heard an all too familiar giggle outside of his room and the next thing he saw almost made his heart beat stop: When Usagi saw the young man standing in Mamoru's doorway she ran up to him and hugged him fiercely with the words "Oh Jeremy, I didn't expect you back from San Francisco this week, but it's so great to have you back! I missed you so much!" and with that said she kissed him lightly on the lips and Mamoru's jaw dropped to the floor. The only thing he could think of was "She has a boyfriend..... why didn't she tell me?", and for the first time in his life he felt heartbroken. It was different from the pain he had had when his parents had died so many years ago. He felt desperate and empty. He knew from the beginning that it was not right to fall for that girl but he couldn't help it, she had touched something in him nobody ever had. He felt like falling back into that black deep hole again which had been his live for so long but some part of him, though it was very small, told him not to give up- that Usagi was something special and worth fighting for. And somehow that gave him strength again. When the couple had stopped kissing Usagi looked at Mamoru and blushed furiously. Was that hurt she had seen in his eyes for a moment? When she had seen Jeremy she just ran to him without a second thought but now after she had realized that Mamoru had been watching them she felt somehow guilty as if she had betrayed him in a way- maybe she should have told him of her boyfriend. She then smiled at Mamoru and was rewarded with one of his dazzling smiles which made her melt like butter in the sun. Usagi and Mamoru then went back to their daily routine after she had told her boyfriend to wait for her in the cafe of the hospital. "So, why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend? I thought we were friends." "I must have slipped my mind.. hehe." Usagi replied nervously. Mamoru was very curious and wanted to know more about his rival and so he asked her how they had first met and how long they had been together. "Well, before I had finished my education as a physiotherapist I have worked in an ice parlor and Jeremy often came to the parlor because only we had his favourite vanilla ice cream from Germany and so I got to know him. That was two years ago. I think in that little time span when I worked at the parlor he ate more ice cream than he had in his entire life before. I thought it was so sweet that he came every day just to see me. Well and after a month he finally asked me out and we did a lot of romantic things like picnics in the park or going out on the lake with a boat. Well that was two years ago and a lot has changed. We are not doing those things very often anymore. He has to travel a lot, you know. He works for his father's company- something with computers- and he sends him to the U.S very often. So I got to see him very little in the last three months." Usagi sighed but then put on a cheerful face again and turned to Mamoru "Hey look at the time! We almost lost half an hour with my chit-chat. So you must work for the rest of the time really hard. There will be no mercy from the great Usagi!!!" she told him a bright smile adorning her face. Mamoru frowned a little bit and tried his best puppy dog face to get away from her torture but Usagi stayed consequent. The training was very hard as usual but Mamoru didn't bother it at all, he started to make progress and even tried to walk on crutches but it was still very hard but Usagi encouraged him to keep trying and told him that she believed in him which made him smile like a lunatic. Nobody had ever told him that he believed in him and that he could do something he himself had always be the one to force himself to go on. After they were finished they decided to go straight back to his room instead of visiting the small rose garden because Jeremy was waiting for her at the cafe. Halfway to his room she suddenly remembered that she had promised to visit one of her patients who would go home the other day. She wasn't sure if to leave Mamoru alone who went back to his room on the crutches for the first time but he insured her that he would be alright and that she shouldn't worry. Usagi gave him a small hug much to Mamoru's pleasure and headed to her next destination. Mamoru went down the hallways towards his room smiling and imagining Usagi was kissing him instead of that guy Jeremy. When he was about to enter his room he heard a strange noise coming from the storage opposite his door. Being the curious guy that he was he cautiously peeked through the half-opened door only to freeze in shock. There in the storage stood Jeremy making out with one of the hospital's nurses. Mamoru's blood began to boil and had he been able to stand without the crutches' support he would have knocked the living daylights out of that guy. So he decided to go back to his room and deal with the slimy rat later. Sitting on his bed Mamoru couldn't find any rest he had to think about that two-timing slime who dared to be unfaithful to the most wonderful girl in the universe How would he explain this to his Usako? Should he tell her and shatter her heart, maybe she wouldn't believe him and think that he just was jealous of her boyfriend. Then she would never speak to him again.. and that he knew he couldn't bear. So he decided to let things go their way and wait and see; she out find out sooner or later what a foul character Jeremy really was. Hopefully she would find out very soon. He was ripped from his thoughts when he heard a knock on his door, looking up he found Jeremy standing in the doorway. "Mind if I come in?" Mamoru motioned his hand signaling him to come in. He thought that he could have a very interesting little chat with that guy who cheated on HIS beautiful little bunny. " Usagi sent me one of the nurses to tell me she would come a little later because she had to visit somebody. Whoa, that nurse was hot! Didn't know there were so many cute girls here because if I had I would have visited Usa-chan at her work earlier ." Mamoru suppressed the urge to slam his fist into the other mans face. He couldn't believe what he was saying. "What's your name? Just remembered I didn't know yet." "I'm Mamoru. Say, do you often look at other girls?" Jeremy looked at him slyly then looked around and whispered " I don't only look at them, you know what I mean?" Mamoru was ready to kill that guy , "I mean there are so many beautiful women and why should they not also have a part of me. Usagi should be proud to have me as her boyfriend, not a lot of girls get that privilege." "Does Usagi know about that?" Mamoru questioned. "Nah, she doesn't know and she would only freak out, she doesn't understand that we guy need more than one woman at a time, right?" Mamoru just nodded, playing along to get more information. He couldn't believe how talkative Jeremy was and how proud of his many "adventures" with women. Mamoru found out that Jeremy had a girlfriend in every country he had business to do and that he would someday marry one to make his father believe he had settled down. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could somebody play such cruel games with a woman's heart. He felt himself losing control and wanted nothing more than slam his fist into the other man's face but the sight of a goddess standing in his door made him forget about his plans. Obviously she hadn't heard anything of their conversation because was walking towards Jeremy smiling and hugged him when she reached him. Before Usagi and Jeremy decided to go she asked Mamoru if everything was alright and if he had made it to his room without any problems. He smiled at her and wished her a good evening and wonderful dreams. "It only will be wonderful dreams if I dream of you Mamo-chan." she thought to herself immediately feeling guilty for thinking those things about another than her boyfriend but she just couldn't help it. Mamoru was always on her mind and she felt as if he was always with her in a way. Mamoru couldn't sleep that night , he was thinking about Jeremy and his way of treating women which he feared would someday hurt Usagi as well. He couldn't tell her though- she's too much in love with him -he told himself. The next morning he felt awfully tired and didn't want to crawl out of bed at all. He ate his hospital breakfast which he had gotten used to and was actually scared when he found out that he started to like it. That was when he made the decision to get out of that clinic as quickly as possible. After breakfast he made some sit ups and then started reading one of his physics books. When he looked at the clock again it was an hour past noon already. He knew that Usagi often was late but an hour was too much even for her. So he sat up on his bed and was about to stand up with the help of his crutches when he suddenly felt something very strange. He felt sadness and despair but it weren't his own feelings it were somebody else's. -Usako?- at first he couldn't believe that he was actually feeling her pain but when those feeling intensified so much it almost made him faint he knew there was something very special between his angel and himself- a very strong bond that connected them, like they shared one soul and they felt when the other was in need. If he could he would have jumped out of his bed and would have run to her side, it didn't matter that he didn't exactly know where she was.. he knew he would have found her. But unfortunately he couldn't leave the hospital that easily and it hurt him more than anything else to not be at her side and to not exactly know what was wrong with her. Later a nurse told him that Usagi had called that morning to tell that she was ill and wouldn't come to work for a few days and she had told the nurses to take good care of her patients while she was gone. Mamoru had to smile at that, "Always thinking about everyone else first." he whispered to himself. He decided to work on himself without her help. He imagined it couldn't be that hard anymore. After all he could walk again although he still needed the crutches but he was determined to get what he wanted..... his ability to walk again and also Usagi. A week had gone by and Usagi hadn't shown up at the clinic yet. Mamoru started to worry and was about to call for a nurse when he heard a soft knock on his door. When he looked up he saw a beautiful little face peek into his room and his only thought was "She's back!". He told her to come in and when he looked at her he saw her tired face and her empty eyes. All emotions had left them and they looked almost lifeless and that broke his heart; never would he have thought to see her that way. He asked her what had happened and told her not to tell him that she was sick because he knew it wasn't the truth. She looked at him surprised and then started to tell him what had happened. Obviously that day when she had left with Jeremy he had asked her to marry him which shocked Mamoru to no end, and she had said yes happily. They had shared a wonderful evening and Usagi hadn't minded him flirting a little bit with one of the waitresses because she knew that he loved her and wanted her to be his wife. She had left the restaurant earlier to get home and tell her parents the great news but had forgotten her purse at their table, so she had come back to the restaurant to get it but when she arrived at their table he saw Jeremy kissing another woman. Shocked she had stomped to his table and asked him who the other woman was and why he was doing this to her. He hadn't even known the other woman's name and had told Usagi to calm down and that it was her he would marry anyway. Usagi had thrown her engagement ring at him and had left saying that she never wanted to see him again. Mamoru was relieved that she had found out soon enough that this man wasn't the right one for her. After she had finished her story tears streamed down her face and Mamoru took her into his arms to comfort her. Again they both felt that strange warmth wash over them. Usagi stopped crying and snuggled up to him even more. After what seemed like an eternity they reluctantly pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. Mamoru knew that if he didn't stop himself now he would lose control and kiss her and maybe scare her away by that move. It was too soon after that horrible experience with Jeremy. Mamoru pulled back a little and told her that he had something to show her. She looked at him a little puzzled when he moved to the edge of the bed and started to stand up. Usagi gasped in surprise when he stood upright beside her and then started to walk a few steps until he was standing in front of her. She shot up from her sitting position and hugged her friend fiercely. After they both had calmed down she looked into his eyes and congratulated to his wonderful progress, although she was a little sad that she hadn't been the one who had helped him with that wonderful step. He quieted her and told her that he couldn't have done it without her help and that she had been his only reason to go on. Usagi smiled shyly both not brave enough to make the next move. Mamoru was now allowed to go home in a week after the last tests had been made. Usagi visited him every day and they always sat in their Rose garden for a long time talking about everything, except their feelings for each other. Usagi was very light headed and looking forward to seeing her Mamo-chan that day and spending the day with him in their secret place. She knew she had never in her life felt such intense love and friendship before and it excited her that she felt those things for Mamoru. He was perfect ,sweet, caring and always there for her. Usagi knew that this was so right, those feelings she had for him would last eternally; it was as if their souls were bonded. Her only problem was: Did he feel the same way? She certainly hoped so, although she wasn't 100 per cent sure. But by the way he had comforted her and cared for her she thought there was a good chance that he would feel the same or similar. When she entered Mamoru's room she was more than surprised to find him there kissing a little red head. Usagi's heart broke at that moment and she asked herself how she could have been so stupid to think that he would love her, it wasn't his fault but then again why had he been so nice to her??? Then she found the answer: he wasn't any better than Jeremy who had only used her. Mamoru had been there to comfort her after the break-up only to make her believe he was better but in fact he wasn't, he had just used her just like Jeremy had. Tears came to her eyes at the realization , she had been so ready to give Mamoru her heart and soul and he had taken them and thrown them away... now she was empty and not able to feel anything anymore. She didn't know how long she had been standing in the doorway but when the kiss between Mamoru and the girl broke apart she was still there. When Mamoru saw Usagi he quickly pulled away from the girl and tried to explain everything to Usagi but the answer he got from her made his heart stop: "You don't have to explain anything to me Chiba-san. It's your own business what you do with girls and it had been obviously enough what you have been doing 2 minutes ago." Her voice had been so cold he almost hadn't recognized it as her own. Before Mamoru could say anything more she had stormed out of his room leaving him and the red head behind. Mamoru tried to follow her but the girl held him back and looked at him confusedly, "Mamoru-san, who was that?" "Oh, shut up Natsumi! You just ruined my life. Why did you kiss me? You know exactly that I don't have any feelings for you, I have told you a million times!!!! How did you know I was here anyway?" Mamoru growled at her while prying her arm off of his own. Walking out of the door he couldn't find Usagi anywhere and had the feeling that she wasn't in the hospital anymore. Returning to his room he found Natsumi sitting on his bed reading one of his books. Mamoru knew he had to get her out of his life once and for all. That girl had been trying to gain his attention ever since they started Med. School. He had never shown interest and wondered why she still had been so persistent. After talking to Natsumi it seemed as if she had black mailed one of the students who usually brought him his college stuff to the hospital , so she would know where to find him. And she did find him.. and entered his room, threw herself at him starting to kiss him in the most horrible moment ever possible: The time Usagi came into his room. "Look Natsumi! I don't want to be with you, I'm sorry. I'm sure you're a nice girl, but we wouldn't be a good match. You have to understand that I'm in love with another girl." Natsumi had tears in her eyes after realizing that she could never have Mamoru. With that knowledge stormed out of the hospital, leaving behind a very lonely and desperate Mamoru who didn't know how he could win back his angel Usako. "She surely must think I'm not any better than her ex- boyfriend." Mamoru thought. The next day Mamoru tried to persuade one of the nurses to give him Usagi's address or telephone number but obviously she had told them not to tell him. Usagi didn't come to the hospital that week anymore and Mamoru left without having had the chance to explain everything to her and confess her his love. When he entered his apartment everything was as he had left it except there was more dust. Once again he started to feel lonely and even more depressed than he had been before. He had the chance to happiness and let it slip away in the blink of an eye. After he had settled in once more he started to study for his classes to get Usagi out of his mind but it didn't help. He just couldn't stop thinking of her. Her eyes, her smile, the way she lit up his darkness and made him feel alive for the first time in his life. He then decided he would fight for her, win back her faith in him and make her remember all those beautiful hours they had spent in their Rose garden. He picked up the telephone book with "T" and stated searching for "Tsukino Usagi". It was a quite unusual name and he hoped there wouldn't be too many Tsukino Usagis in Tokyo or that she still lived at her parents'. But he was lucky. Picking up the receiver shakily he started dialing her number. He didn't know how she would react and if she even ever wanted to see him again. Then somebody picked up the phone. "Moshi, Moshi." A cheery voice on the other end exclaimed. It wasn't Usagis. Mamoru was taken aback, obviously he had the wrong number, or.... "Hello, can I speak to Tsukino Usagi, please?" "Uhm.. she isn't at home , do you want to leave a message for her?" "Can you please tell her that Chiba Mamoru called and that I'm re..." He couldn't even finish his sentence as he was interrupted by the girl who had answered the phone "WHAT? How DARE you call after what you have done to her? You are a worthless, slimy pig, you know that? The poor girl has been the whole last week and you have the nerve to call her, Mister?" Mamoru tried to calm her down and explain everything. After had found out that the girl's name was Aino Minako, one of Usagi's best friends and had managed to make her listen to him, he explained everything to her. He told her the whole story about him having been lonely for all his life because of his parent's death and that Usagi had been the first person to ever consider him as a friend, that she was the only one he had ever let in and finally he confessed to Minako that he loved Usagi deeply and wanted her to know the whole story with Natsumi. He felt somehow strange to tell his story to someone he didn't even know, but he knew he had because maybe Minako was the only one to help him talk to Usagi. What he didn't know was that Minako loved bringing people together and do a little match-making. She understood now what had happened and felt that Mamoru was being honest. She knew that he loved her best friend truly and deeply otherwise he wouldn't have told her his story which surely hadn't been easy for him. She now knew that Mamoru wasn't in any better condition than Usagi who had been crying all night and day since she had caught Mamoru and that girl kissing. Minako promised Mamoru to help him win Usagi back and she already had a plan. "Where are we going Minako-chan? I hope you are not trying to set me up with another guy!! You know I'm not ready for another relationship after Ma.... I mean Jeremy." Usagi told the bouncy girl walking next to herself. "Aw.. come on! We both know that you are not crying over that ass Jeremy anymore.. and don't you try lying to me, Usa- chan. I really am worried about you, you hardly ever leave the house anymore. I just wanted to make a little stroll with you in the park and doing some girl chatting and I know the perfect place for us to rest!!!" Usagi was so deep in thought that she didn't even realize that Minako was leading them to a certain secret Rose garden. Only when she smelled the roses she looked up and realized where they were. She had to think about the happy times she spent there together with Mamoru but quickly dismissed the thought after remembering that he was just another man who played with women's hearts. "Can I leave you here alone for a minute Usagi-chan? I just saw that totally cute guy from the Arcade over there!! I have to go talk to him before another girl does. You understand that, don't you? You can come with me if you want." Minako told her friend. "No, it's okay. Just go ahead, I'll wait here." And with that Usagi sat down on the small stone bench and stared up at the sky. "Do you mind if I join you?" a voice asked softly. Usagi spun around only to see Mamoru standing behind her holding 2 dozen crimson red roses in his arms. He smiled at her almost shyly; afraid every move could shy her away and he would never see her again. Minako had given him this opportunity to make up with his beloved and make her understand what he truly felt. That Usagi was shocked was an understatement. She stood up and wanted to turn away and leave him there alone but something in his eyes made her stop. It was definitely love she saw in those deep blue eyes.. but could it really be true? He was a liar, wasn't he? But he looked so sincere and there was such love and renewed hope in his eyes that she just couldn't leave. Mamoru came closer to her and handed her the roses which she took like reluctantly. Then she looked up at him skeptically. "Please, just give me 5 minutes to explain everything to you. 5 minutes and then I'll leave your life forever if you want me to." He pleaded. Usagi just nodded her head yes and Mamoru motioned for them to sit down. He tried his best to tell her what had happened between Natsumi and himself and wanted to make her see that it was all a misunderstanding. She never said a word but just looked him in the eyes and what she found there startled her; never had she seen so much love and sincerity before; and then he said those words she longed to hear for such a long time : "I love you, Usako." That made her smile, not only did he love her but had also given her a pet name. She didn't mind one bit being his little bunny. Obviously she had been quite for too long for Mamoru had stood up and started to turn away from her interpreting her silence for refusal. Upon seeing this Usagi jumped up from her sitting position and hugged Mamoru as tightly as she could manage and whispered a soft "I love you, Mamo-chan" into his ear; forgotten where all those tears she had shed over him and her heart started to beat once more. Mamoru was at first frozen in place not knowing if he had just heard right then put his arms tightly around her waist hugging her back and spinning her around then he softly put her down and tilted her chin up. Looking into her baby blue eyes his heart melted and their lips met in the softest of kisses. When they finally broke apart they smiled at each other and Usagi cuddled closer to Mamoru's incredible warmth. Her lips still tingled with the sensation of Mamoru's kiss which was so different to all the other kisses she had gotten until now. It was as if their souls were forever bonded through this kiss. " Will you stay with me forever, Usako?" "Yes, I will and you'll never be alone anymore. I'll love you eternally, Mamo-chan." And with that Mamoru leaned in once more and kissed her again, but this time more passionate than both of them had ever known possible. The two lovers were totally oblivious to their spectator who stood at the entrance of the garden smiling and congratulating herself for her wonderful plan of bringing those two together. 6 years later..... "Mommy, Daddy! Come on, hurry up! You have to look at this place.. it's sooooooooooooo beautiful!" a young girl at the age of 5 with pink Odangos and brown eyes exclaimed excitedly. Her parents walked up behind her hand in hand. "So you like this place, little one?" The pink haired girl nodded at her father's question. "This is were Mommy and I told each other how we felt the place where I proposed for the other. It's also to her 6 months later. She said yes and I was the happiest man alive." He finished and smiled lovingly at his beautiful wife and put one arm around her waist. She looked up at him with a smile that reached her eyes. "This is also the place where you told Daddy that you were pregnant with me, right?" The cheerful little girl asked taking her mother's hand. "That's right Chibi-Usa. Do you think it's time to tell Daddy our little secret, munchkin?" Usagi asked her daughter bending down to be at eye- level with the girl. Chibi-Usa grinned and nodded. Mamoru could only stare at his two girls and asked "What secret?" arching one eyebrow. Usagi smiled sweetly at him and standing on her tip toes whispered into his ear "We're getting another baby, Mamo- chan." Mamoru looked at her smiling, tears forming in his eyes. Before kissing his wife he whispered "Aishiteru Usako. You are making me the happiest man alive." Five minutes later the happy family walked out of the Rose garden hand in hand. Mamoru looked at the beautiful sunset and thanked the Gods for all the love, joy and light in his life. He had everything he had ever wished for. The End. Please, send comments to Destiny_Rose@gmx.net