Heartbreak. There's only so much a soul can take. Dremdancer "It's just that I don't love you anymore." Mamo-chan please, what are you saying? What did I do? Thoughts run rampent in my head. Mamo-chan? How could you do this? I look up at him. Tears fall out of my eyes, unnoticed as he looks into the falling rain. Suddenly I have to get out of there. I can't..I can't deal with this! I run out, away from him, away from my self. The rain falls around me, but I don't care. I don't care about anything but running right now. I have a stitch in my side. I ignore it. Keep running, I tell myself. Always running. I wonder if that's why Mamoru doesn't love me anymore. I know that I'm a wimp, and I scream during fights, but still...He's my Prince, and I'm his Princess, or so I thought. I was yesterday. What happened? What did I do? Please, oh please, Kama-sama. Someone help me. No one seems to notice me. I'm just another fleeting figue in the mist. I stop, at at the end of a pier. There's an ocean liner in the distance. I wish I could just go with it. Away from all of this. Away...The thought catches me, leaves me breathless. I don't have all that much money, but I could hitchhike. Just get out of here. Away from Tokyo. From Mamoru. I slowly truge home. My tears have dried now. I have a plan, I know what I must do. You're 15. A portion of my mind speaks to me. Be resonable! But I don't feel like being reasonable. It's wrong. Luna would have a cow. But still...DO it! I commanded my self. This is why Mamoru hates you! Indescion. Chickening out. Well, not this time! I will do what you want my love, I think picturing him in my mind. I look in my bedroom mirror. Those meatballs have to go. Too distinctive. A brush works them out. My hair falls past my knees, gently swaying agaist the back of my ankles. Too long. A few snips with my siscors takes care of it. It looks a mess, but then so does the rest of me. A true orphan. Mamoru, oh Mamoru....Tears well up again. ?No.' I tell myself firmly. I look back at my reflection. My eyes light apon my brooch. Of course...I think. Why didn't I think of it sooner? I pull out the Lunar Pen, and wish to be a pretty someone, totally unlike myself. It works. A figure stepped out of the Tsukino house, into the shawdowy world beyond. She was never seen again. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ya know, I hate my life. Ever since Usagi dissapered three years ago, everything's gone to hell. I hate that girl. If she ever, _ever_ returned, I don't know what I'd do to her. What?!? You think that I'd just welcome her back with open arms were she to return? I think not. We've _needed_ her. The Senshi have. Mamoru has. Heaven knows that I have. Heh. The world is a rotten peach, and we are all the bugs that crawl through it. Alright, alright, so I have a negitive outlook on life. Wouldn't you? I mean, come _on_. The only reason that any of us are still alive is because Wiseman and Nerphania, and ah, who else? Let's see, there's those pesky Trios that keep popping up, and there's that weird woman with the long hair, and I don't know who else. I don't want to know. Where was I? Oh yeah. They fight each other half the time so that we don't have to. Life sucks. We can't do anything about it, either. We're here, stuck with our little weak powers watching the baddies duke it out to decide who gets the pleasure of destroying the world. I don't even know who is winning. Last week it was Nerphina. She managed to dispose of the Wiseman for a while. But now? I don't know. I really don't. I shutter to think of when one of these _does_ manage to beat the others. Wiseman doesn't stand a chance, even if he does free his god, which I don't think he will. He came close. When did this all start, you might ask. Well, after Usagi left, taking the Ginzuishou with her, I might add, we did fine. For a few weeks. The thing was, Chibi-Usa dissapered as well. On the same night, actually. We don't know if she went back to where ever she came from, of if Usagi took her with her, or what. I don't care. The nerve of the little brat, spiking our tea! That doesn't matter now, though, I suspose. We spent ages looking for her. Usagi that is. We're too busy to hunt for one misfit five year old. Jupiter's still off trying to find our 'Princess'. Ami's spent over two years on a program to track the power of the Ginuishou. But to me, she's dead. I didn't always think this way. Oh, I spent weeks at the Flame tring to find her. At first we were so worried, what if some monster had gotten her? What if she really was dead? Minako and Luna went off to hunt for her, leaving Artemis here. Our sole guardian neko now that Luna's dead. Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that? She and Venus went up against a daimon whilst they were on their little 'jaunt'. Venus came back. Luna didn't. I think that's when I decided that I didn't care if Usagi came back or not. Well, Jupiter left when Minako returned, vowing not to come back herself until the job was done. Haven't heard from her since last December. She was in the Middle East then. Then things went bad. We could hold off Rubius fairly well, but when that green haired woman started into us and he went bye-bye, we knew we were in trouble. But it didn't end there! Kama-sama, I wish it had ended there. I wish so much... Then those 'Outers' came in, stealing Heart Crystals while still claiming to be Senshi. We ignore them for the most part, unless we are fighting. The same goes with them. The only time we do work together is if we are fighting against the same youma. Happens on occasion. So now we're down to me, Venus, Mercury, Artemis, and those damn Outers. And we're all fighting as hard as we can against the Darkness that the Wiseman was trying to throw onto Earth when this _other_ group shows up calling themselves the Witches Six or something like that, being led by, get this, _another_ Sailor Senshi, Sailorsaturn who has been thrown out of her body and posessed by this lady who wants to free her own god. Heh! So the battle became three-wayed, each fighting to save our own skin. And if that wasn't bad enough, a few months later this Dead Moon Circus appeared and we got shoved out. No one even bothers to fight with _us_ anymore because we aren't a challange. I don't know if any others will come, but I hope not. I really hope not. So you see why I'd be angry with Usagi, ne? If the little rabbit had been here, then she could have used the Ginzuishou or something. Things wouldn't be so bad! Ya might have noticed that I left out a guy in my counting of friend and foe. Mamoru I also consider dead. Well, why not? I mean, the guy's only tried to kill himself, how many times now? Five? Six? I lost count somewhere back there. And since he can't transform to help out, hey, Sailor_moon_ isn't in danger, is she? Then there's no point in counting Tuxboy as an ally. I don't know where he is right now. And if he is dead, I say good riddence. I hate Usagi, yup I do. Heehee! I mean, it's so much fun to have someone that you can put the blame apon, especially when it actually _is_ her fault! So to me, Usagi is dead. And I certain hope her to be. And if she is not, well, the next time I see her I'll rectify the situation. I'm Sailormars, Senshi of vengence and justice, so there's no reason why I wouldn't be the most blood thristy then, ne? So, ah, tell me...You wouldn't have happened to have seen a 'odango atama' hanging around, would you have? AUTHORS NOTES ------------- I like darkfics. I really do, and they are so much fun to write, as well! Getting into another's mind and marching around, wonderful. Call me crazy, I don't care. This story was in part inspired by Ninx' Four Lover's, Air on a Cosmic String, and Lady's Soulmates. There are lots of others too, I'm certain, that have written Serena disapering stories, but they are all written from Serena's veiwpoint. 'What's with that?' I thought, and thus decided to write the other side of the parrell. Rei's side of the story. I really do think that they would be mad at her. And in this one the monster attacks don't suddenly stop, like they do in others. The time that I've most often seen for between leaving and returning is five years. This one is three years after. Also, I really do like Sailormars. I didn't pick her to flame her or anything. I think that she's great and that in the series she isn't hateful to Usagi, well, not _too_ much anyway. I just needed someone to pick on. And she seemed to fit the bill the closest. Venus I have pegged as a sweetie, one that I really don't think would go crazy. Ami, well, she's great, but I don't think that she'd go homicidel on us. Jupiter? She's too protective. That leaves Mars. Enough with explainations. There be a good number of them here already. Oh, I should have the third chapter out to Diamonds soon, just to let all of those who wrote me saying that they like the series and would I please get back on the ball and get it out soon please? know. And who knows? Maybe a chapter of Faerie Queen as well.... And, just so that you know, I have always hated the episode where Darien dumps Serena. I think that there was not enough time for the dream to really sink into Darien's system before the big break-up, and the manner in which he did it too! Okay, okay, so the apartment scene was good. But he was jogging! I never did have that click. So I ignore it. In about all of my fics. And I'd really better shut up now as my notes are actually being longer then the story itself, and I always hate it when that happens. (...grin...) Ja ne! Dremdancer dremdancer@hotmail.com Jupiter, (to Malacite): Dream on, Surfer Boy!--====================987654321_0==_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"