Title: The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... Part 30 Author: Dark Day For Anime (Mark A Page) Email: ayanami@merlin.net.au ICQ: 9845111 IRC: Saitou^Hajime on DALnet #AJAS Fic Rating: On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond...... Begin Happy99.exe................................................NOT The Fanfic Formerly Known As.... by Aino Minako (In DDFA's absence) Part Thirty - The Office Smooth Draft (a Rough Draft with all the crunchy bits taken out) -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- Scene: The hideout of the Outers. Minako is standing in front of DDFA, smiling. Minako: So, what do you think of that as a solution? DDFA: ..... Minako: Yes, it's sure to confuse everyone.... But at least I ended "Waiting for Minako" by chapter 30, eh? DDFA: ..... Minako: What's wrong? Why don't you say anything? DDFA: ..... Minako: Oh, right. I should take your gag off, first. DDFA: -_-;; Setsuna: Well, I'm not satisfied. Minako turns to the four Outers, who are standing behind her, arms crossed. Minako: Why? What's wrong? Haruka: Merely changing the name of the fanfic is not enough. Michiru: We demanded that this fanfic be brought to an end. Minako: But it's not that fanfic, anymore. Haruka: Of course it is. It's just the same fanfic by another name. Minako: Ah, does that mean the readers will know when this is posted. Outers: ..... DDFA: ..... Minako: See, a solution to the problem. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fanfic to write. And with that, Minako walks from the hideout. Everyone winces as she forgot to open the door on her way out. Setsuna: That's going to be a bugger to replace. DDFA sweatdrops, still bound and gagged to his chair, and in a state of panic over what Minako is doing to his fanfic.... Meanwhile, in the office of Koenma-sama, in Hades.... Koenma: Och, Ahm tellin' yer, lassie.... Yon ain't suppoosed to be dead, yet. Are yer understandin' me? Usagi, who is standing on the opposite side of Koenma-sama's desk, stares down at the pint-sized demon lord of the underworld, then over at Kanaru, who is in the corner of the room, sweatdropping. Usagi: Since when did he have a Scottish accent? Kanaru: Well.... Umm.... Koenma: Ah, don' you be worryin' aboot answerin' such questions, Kannie me lassie. She obvioosly nay know aboot the horrible truth.... Usagi turns to Koenma-sama, nervously. Usagi: And.... what horrible truth would that be....? Koenma: Tha' the entire afterlife is roon bah Scots.... We try ta hide tha fact froom everyboody bah usin' other languages.... Like ma role oon ma show.... It's soo hard ta keep it up, episode in, episode art. Usagi sighs and shakes her head. Usagi: Is that all.... I thought it was something REALLY bad. Koenma: What were you expectin', then? For me ta be German there, noo? Koenma-sama turns to Kanaru. Koenma: Will you get tha lassie some refreshments, Kannie? Ah bet she's had a roof time since she arrived. Kanaru: Haaaaaiii. Smiling, Kanaru disappears into thin air. Usagi scratches her head. Usagi: I thought Botan-chan was your secretary, or something. Koenma: Ah yes.... Botan.... Not a pretty story. Usagi: What happened to her. Koenma-sama sighs, lowering his head. Koenma: One day, she came up ta me an' said ah paid her naught much more than a pittance of what she was worth, and she up an'left me ta join Pink Pineapple. She nah makes hentah anime for tha dead. Usagi: Ack. Koenma: Well, ah said it wa'nt a pretty story. Tak a seat, there lassie. Koenma gestures to a seat, off to one side. Usagi nods and sits down. Koenma is about to hop out of his chair, when a sheet of paper glides by. He turns to see the top drawer of his filing cabinet open, with paper flying out to the sound of contented pu's. Koenma: Ah, blast it! That wee beastie has got inta mah files again! Must be tha fourth time this moonth. Koenma jumps out of his chair and knocks the drawer shut. Then, holding onto the top of the cabinet, he locks it, chuckling. Koenma: There, ya wee beastie.... Tra an' get outta that one. As Koenma gets down from the cabinet and walks around the desk, Usagi stares at the cabinet, which is rocking from side to side as Mokona tries to escape his prison, with a chorus of disconcerted pu's. Usagi: I take it you're very acquainted with the bunny-thing, then? Koenma: You bet mah maiden aunt ah am, lassie. Damn beastie is tha menace of the underworld. Usagi: It's a little cruel, locking him in there like that, though. Koenma: Och, ahm tellin' you, lassie.... That's no ordinary rabbit.... That's the most foul, cruel and bad tempered rodent you've ever laid eyes on. Suddenly, the second drawer flies open, and Mokona jumps up triumphantly, smiling. Mokona: Pu! ^_^ Koenma: Och, ya see wha' I mean? Ya can't win agin' such a beastie. It's blessed bah Kami-sama, I tell ya. Mokona turns as a small, yellow, rat-like thing with a tail the shape of a lightning bolt pops up next to him. Mokona: Pu? O_O Pikachu: Pika pika. ^_^ Mokona: Pu pupu pu pupupu pu pu. ^_^ Pikachu: Pii ka kachu pii pika kachu. ^_^ Usagi: What are they saying? Koenma: These be things we are never meant ta know, lassie. Yon kawaii beasties ha' a language all of tha oon. Usagi sighs. Usagi: Anyway. You said I wasn't supposed to be dead, yet.... Koenma: Hmm? Usagi: Remember? The reason you dragged me to your office. Koenma: Oh tha'.... Ye, of course. Nah when ah was lookin' through ma files, ah spotted your name. Now ah knew you weren't s'posed to be here, yet, so I sent oot Kannie oot ta get ye. In tha meantime, ah looked through tha files.... He gestures to the papers, now scattered across the room. Koenma: ....Whatever order they were in, an' ah foond tha' you were brought to your premature demise through a conspiracy. Usagi: A conspiracy? Koenma: That is wha' ah said, lassie. Ma accent ain't that ba'. Usagi: What do you mean by a conspiracy? Koenma: Well, this be a DDFA fic, ah tell you.... However, ah suspec' the real reason has somethin' ta do wi' tha fac' tha' this entire fanfic ha' actually bin railroaded by an outside force.... Dramatic music fills the room. Everyone looks around for its source. Koenma: Ya see what ah mean.... Where tha hell did tha' come from? Usagi: Mokona! Have you been playing with the muzak tapes, again? Mokona shuffles on his feet, trying to look innocent. Meanwhile, outside Koenma-sama's office building, a banana in pyjamas is sneaking up behind one of the two security demons, standing outside the front entrance, looking bored. As the demon turns and looks away, B1 clouts him over the back of his head with a stone teddy bear. The demon falls into B1's waiting arms and is dragged away. The other demon eventually notices his companion is missing. Demon: Bob? Yo, Bob? Where've you gone? Before the demon can say anymore, B2 lands on top of him, knocking him to the ground. The pair roll around for several moments, grappling with each other, before B2 lands a victory blow across the demon's chin. B2 then drags the demon away. Seconds later, two young women, wearing the demons' security uniforms (both too big for them) meet back at the front entrance. One has long, black hair and pale skin, the other short red hair with tanned skin. Kei: I tell you, for the underworld, the security here really sucks. Yuri: Don't let those idiots fool you. We've gotta get past the hideous tentacle rape monster at the front desk. Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: ..... Yuri: ..... Kei: Can we go home, now? Yuri: Shuddup and get inside. Yuri pushes Kei through the front doors. END OF PART 30 -------------------------------------------------------------------- ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ -------------------------------------------------------------------- What is Minako doing to this fanfic? Is she really to blame for Usagi's premature demise? Is the afterlife run by Scots? Why were Kei and Yuri dressed as B1 and B2? Did Mokona really mess with the muzak? And where the hell are Ami and Makoto? For absolutely, positively almost no answers, read the next enthralling chapter of "The Fanfic Formerly Known As....", available with a free Mokona. I have to get rid of the little bastard before he completely trashes the house.... Mokona: Pu! ^_^ _________ / @ \ Aino Minako (in DDFA's absence) / / ^ ^ \ \ darkdayforanime@hotmail.com /\ Manic-Depressive Sailorsenshi without a clue \/ \/ Professional failure in quotations \___________/ Massive avoider of responsibility /_/ \_\ PU! TROGGLE 1.0 - Tuesday, 2nd March 1999