Konnichi-wa Minna! I?m back. *Gomen! Gomen!* Thank you so much everyone for flooding my E-mail! *Does happy little dance* Your praise means so much to me! I really can?t believe how many people love this story! I mean I knew it had potential but I never expected everyone to like it so much! *Grins Happily* I even received an e-mail from Capri23 saying that this is the BEST story she?s ever read! So I have only one thing to say to all of you... ARIGATO MINNA-CHAN! Ok now for the author's notes. Yeah! First everyone I'm SOOOO sorry this took so long to write. Hopefully you'll find it worth the wait. You see the problem was I came to a dead end with the story and, truthfully, wasn't going to write anymore. Then I went to MoonRomance and found this writing guide thing that really helped. I suggest it to anyone writing fanfics or planning to in the futres. It's full of good tips and tricks. Also, the chapter is mainly told from Mamoru's POV (point of view). Now that I've got an idea for the story I'll try to have the next part out soon. LOL DarkElf And now...ON WITH THE STORY!! *Quick note!* This chapter covers some parts I purposely left out in the last chapter. No I didn?t forget what was going on. This is simply to explain things better since I sorrta left things hanging last time. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A quick reference for those not familiar with their original Japanese Names: Note: In Japan Last names are placed before the first. EX: Hino Rei Tsukino Usagi = Serena Aino Minako = Mina Mizuno Ami = Amy Hino Rei = Raye Kino Makato = Lita Chiba Mamoru = Darien (Shields - form the American Manga) Tuxedo Kamen = Tuxedo Mask Chibi-Usa = Rini (Her REAL name in both the anime & Manga is the same as Usagi's. That's why Usagi/Serena freaked out when Chibi-Usa revealed her name. Her Full name is something like Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity...there's more but that's all I could remember.) Kenji = Usagi's father Ikuko = Usagi's mother Shingo = Sammy, Usagi's brother Furuhata Unazuki = Lizzy(Andrew's little sisiter) Furuhata Motoki = Andrew 4 Sisters of Deception: Cooan = Catzi Beruche = Bertie Calaveras = Avery Petz = Prizma Rubeus Esmeraude = Emerald Safir = Sapphire Prince Demando = Prince Diamond Doom Phantom = Wiseman Black Lady = Wicked Lady ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ * denotes character thinking ** denotes past memories & such Afterall chapter 3 DarkElf usabunny@moonkingdom.com http://clik.to/darkelf19/ Rated: PG ?MAMO-CHAN!!? Smiling I drop to one knee, embracing the small pink haired child tenderly in my arms. Kissing her hair lovingly I returned the hug. ?Konnichi-wa Chibi-Usa-chan.? She buried her face further into my embrace, a slight blush creeping over her face. *She?s blushing?! But why would she...* ?Hello Mamoru-kun.? I winced. I physically winced at the cold greeting. ?Hello Usak....? I bit my lip quickly to stop myself from speaking my old endearment for her. ?...Usagi-ch....-san.? I replied quietly, unconsciously pulling Chibi-usa further into my embrace. *Usako. Kammi! I miss you so! Please, won?t you give me another chance? Do you really ha...hate me that much?!* My vision began to cloud over. *Usako!* ?...are so beautiful this time of year. Don?t you think Mamoru?? My head snapped up only now realizing she?d been speaking to me. Absently I brushed the wetness from my eyes. ?Gomen Odango. What was that?? Time stopped. *Oh no!* Panicked I looked up, my eyes locking onto her pale blue ones, pleading for forgiveness. *I can?t believe I called her that! She?ll...!* Laughter. She was laughing. I felt my body relax slightly. She wasn?t angry. ?Oh Mamoru! *Giggle* No one?s called me that for years!? Her skin had taken on a rosy color as laughter continued to spill from her lips. A smile pulled at the corners of my lips as I watched her. *Usako.* I ached to touch her, hold her, pull her into my arms and keep her there forever. Shakily one hand began to raise against my will. *Usako...* ?Mommy?? I looked down at Chibi-Usa, still tucked in my embrace, and smiled softly. *Mommy? Usako...mommy?* I looked up, my eyes once more locking on her pale blue ones, a soft, fuzzy feeling creeping into my heart as I watched her. *It really does fit you....Usako.* ?Really?! Thank you Mommy!? Suddenly the pink-haired bundle of joy leapt from my embrace, running full speed Usako-style towards her mother. My smiled deepened as did the warm feeling inside of me as I watched them embrace. Smiling Chibi-Usa turned back to me, still wrapped in her mother's arms, eyes shinning bright with happiness. Her lips parted into a joyful grin, pink hair bobbed slightly at the movement. I smiled. "So will you Mamo-chan?" I blinked in confusion, looking to Usagi for help. Azure eyes looked deep into mine. Nervousness racked my body straining my breath. Absently I wipped my sweaty palms on my pants; I swolled trying to moisten my dry mouth. A frown crossed my face as I realized a piece of lunch was still caught in my teeth. "Does that mean no?" I glanced up once more, my eyes on Chibi-Usa huddled in her mother's embrace a hurt expression on her face. "Well I..." I floundered for words feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I slowly worked my mouth trying to moisten it. "It's just that I..." *Usako* "I..." *I don't want to intrude. I don't want to loose you! If you need space then...* "I have to..." *I'll give you all you need* My heart stopped for a moment. "I..." I finally stopped for a moment, looking up into the deep azure eyes of my love's, and lost myself in them. I felt as if I was floating, the warm feeling flooded his body, as I remembered the touch of her hair, her soft embrace, the sweet taste of her lips. Absently I heard Chibi-Usa squeel in delight as I agreed to whatever she had asked earlier. But it didn't matter. Even when she threw her tiny body into my arms, hugging me fiercely, pouting slightly when I didn't return the hug it didn't matter. All that mattered was the ice blue glare of Usagi burning into my soul. *Gomen Usako* Slowly I rose taking Chibi-Usa with me. Usagi's glare never changed. *Gomen* Luna sighned curling her tail around herself wishing it didn't have to be this way but what other choice was there? Being a Senshi was dangerous; even more so for Usagi. She was their Princess! Not only that but she had a child, Chibi-Usa. Luna frowned. The child was still a mystery. It'd been over six years ago that the pink haired rabbit had fallen from the sky. Six years since they'd dubbed her Chibi-Usa after discovering her name was Usagi...Tsukino Usagi. Six years and they still knew little more of her past than they had when she first arrived. That child. Luna streched leisurerly, her thoughts focusing on Chibi-Usa for the first time in months. She wasn't the enemy. They knew that much, but there was something about her, something mysterious. Luna gazed out the window, her eyes focusing on nothing. *Yes, there's something strange about that child. She knows more than she's telling.* Her eyes drifted to Mekenna Park, where Nephrite had sacrificed his life to save Naru's, where Rubeus and the Four Sisters of Deception had fallen, where the Tsukino family had died. A tear crept from her eyes. It rolled from her cheek landing on the pink bunny seated on the windowsill, the gold key still hung from it's neck. The same key Chibi-Usa had worn when she arrived years ago. The red gem in the center glowed brightly for a moment as the tear crossed over. The energy released caused Luna's hair to stand on end. Hissing her disapproval she jumped down, moving silently from the room. *A lot more* Wearily Endymion sunk into the throne survaying the empty room with indifference. The silence pressed against him suffocating him in it's thickness. He suddenly realized he'd been tapping his fingers against the wood arm rest, and stopped. Not that it made any diffference. He was just a hologram. Nothing more than a ghost. Irritably he rose drifting through marble halls. Huge pillars of white marble interlaced with gold leaf-like patterns supported the twisting staircase of the balcony, the purple velvet still like new, was silent as he passed. He longed to hear it crunch beneath his weight, to feel it's softness, to smell the scent of the hundreds of red roses aligning the hallway. He longed for life again. He paused before two huge gold doors each crafted from pure gold displaying their last days on the Moon, their struggles with Beryl, Metallia, the Generals, Galaxia, Nephrina... He remembered why she had ordered the door crafted this way. So they would never forget who they once were and how they came to be who they were now. So they would never forget the lives lost. Holographic fingers ran over the figures, memories flooding his consciousness. Memories of friends made, friends lost; memories of the pain, the terror, the relief to have lived through it all. Abruptly his fingers still over the figure of a dark moon. "Death Phantom," he whispered wishing his memories of the situation hadn't been blocked. He needed to know what was happening. To know that they would survive. That he would be able to hold his wife again; to feel her lips pressed against his. His soul demanded it as pentance for having to watch her through her glass prision. He also needed to feel his daughter back in his embrace. To hear her laughter; to see the joy of innocence in her eyes. Six years. It'd been over six years ago that she had dissappeared into the past. He knew she was trying to help, that it was important she be there in the past. Why he couldn't remember but he knew. He also knew it shouldn't have takened so long. That worried him. He had no idea how the Senshi has lasted as long as they had. How Crystal Tokyo hadn't fallen to the Black Moon. He didn't know how much longer they would last. That too worried him. Fustration welled within him once more as he though of the situation again. *Usako.* Slowly he sank to his knees in front of his wife's glass coffin. "Please, my Queen, return to us. We need you...I need you." *Usako* ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Abunai! - Watch out! Ai Shiteru - I Love You Arigato- Thank You Daijobu - I'm fine Daijobu? - Are you ok? Genki? - How are you? Gomen Nasai - I'm sorry Kawaii - cute Koban Wa - Good evening Sou Ka - I see Yamete! - Stop it! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ How do I get myself into these situations?! It's not like I sit down and plan things to go so horribly wrong all the time. They just do. So what did I get myself into this time you ask? Why don't I start at the beginning... After we left the cemetary I decided to treat Chibi-Usa to an ice cream. Usagi polietly declined which I will admit surprised me to no end. I guess I still see her as the klutzy, food-loving, adorable Usako I fell in love with years ago. But things change. She's changed. And that's hurts. She changed and I wasn't there. She blossomed into the beautiful young woman before me and I missed it. Even her eyes are different. Still the breath-taking shade of azure I remember. At least that hasn't changed. But they're different. Restrained. Not full of the joyful innocence I remember from her youth. I can only imagine what pain hides in those deapths. A secret. A terrible secret. Annoyance flashes into those eyes. I suddenly realize she's been talking to me while I was daydreaming again. I really should stop doing that. I just can't help it. She has that effect on me. Always has. She glances at Chibi-Usa, now returning with a triple chocolate sundae covered in hot fudge with all the trimmings. An Usako sundae as I used to call them. I can't hold back the smile that suddenly springs to my lips. She's so much like Usako. Or the Usako I remember anyways. As she joins us, Usako...er...I mean Usagi turns her attention back to me. I can't say I minded really. I'd do just about anything to look into those eyes...especially after all these years. Ut oh. I'm doing it again. Damn! What did she say? Chibi-Usa looks happy enough. So does Usagi. It must be a good thing. Smile and nod. She's smiling! Good job Mamoru-san. Maybe this won't be so hard afterall... Um, wait! Where's she going? I watch helplessly as Usagi walks away, wondering what's going on. "She forgot some papers at work. You're watching me until she gets back." I turn back to Chibi-Usa now engrossed in her sundae. God bless that child. I'd be lost without her. While she eats we talk. Talk about everything that's happened since I left. How much Usagi changed. She casually mentions that Usagi's been single for the past six years. Did I ever tell you how much I love that child? You have no idea the relief that brought knowing I might have a chance with my Usako. That was the reson I returned to Tokyo you know. For my Bunny. My Usako. Knowing she hasn't seen anyone else brings mixed feelings. I must admit I'm happy. That means Usako is still mine, and mine alone. But it also does bring guilt. I wasn't nearly so faithful. Not anything like that mind you, but a few dates here and there...Damnit. Remind me to listen to my conscience more often. I'm so happy in my little world I don't even fuss when Chibi-Usa requests a piggy-back ride. After discussing it, we had decided to meet Usako at her office. Curiosity was killing me. I mean what was it exactly that my Bunny did for a living? Remember that saying, curiosity killed the cat? Remind me to take heed to that more often. If I had I wouldn't be in this situation right now. My heart wouldn't have just shattered, my soul wouldn't have just withered. I would've never walked around the corner to find the love of my life, my Usako, kissing another man. And that brings us to the present... Usagi paled. "Mamoru..." He looked so hurt, so devastated as if his entire world had just collapsed with her one action. Stubbornly a part of her insisted it was fair, afterall, hadn't he done the same when he dumped her unexpectedly six years ago without so much as a reason before cutting off all contact with her by moving to America. He never gave one thought to her breaking heart as she buried her family; not one thought to her shattered soul when she had so carefully split the tender skin at her wrists and lay dying in a pool of her own blood where Rei had found her. He never thought about her! He never cared! Angerly she turned away trying to block his pain from her memory, trying to hide the tears that stung her eyes. *He never really cared...* " Mommy? Mommy, who was that man?" Chibi-Usa. The mysterious child that had fallen from the sky and into her life so many years ago. She had saved her life back then. A life she knew nothing about. Not even who her real parents were. They'd been through everything together. Everything. So when they threatened to send her away she adopted her. Her daughter. Her life. She deserverd so much more. A father. She'd always looked to Mamoru as that roll. Mamoru. Father. Usagi felt her insides twist as old dreams resurfaced. A family. Their family. Quickly she beat the thought back down. It was over. It had to stay that way. It was safer. Safe. "That was Demando-sama. My boss." Mamoru was staring at the pavement now. Chibi-Usa squirmed uncomfortably in the silence. "Oh." Usagi struggled to regain her emotions. "Are you?" Abruptly her head snapped up. "Nani?" Chibi-Usa blushed looking down at her fingers, twiddling them nervously. "Are you going to go out with him?" Mamoru head shot up, eyes looking on hers. Pleading? Chibi-Usa looked her straight in the eye. Demand was in that look. Demand mixed with panic. Panic? Usagi's thoughts tumbled through her head, her heart pounding. Time stopped. "Urawa? Urawa are you home?" No answer. Sighing Ami slipped off her sandels, her stocking feet padding against the wood floor. *Must be working late again.* Absently she pushed boxes aside searching for something to eat. However her mind wasn't really on the food. *Usagi* Absently she plucked a random box from the shelf, her feet dragging across the carpet as she lifelessly plopped into the oversized armchair, flipping through the tv channels without much intrest. *Usagi* Bored she turned her attention back to the food. Looking down she saw it was a can of Hamachi. Turning several shades of green she tossed the unwanted can aside suddenly no longer hungry. *I'll never understand how he can eat that!!* She found herself staring at her reflection her face twisted in distaste and froze. The face was familiar; the same Usagi used to make when faced with carrots. *Usagi* **She has to step down as leader** *Usagi* **You're all I have guys** *Usagi* **Mamoru's gone** *Usagi* **I'll miss you Ami** **Don't leave us Usagi!!** **Good-bye my Princess** *Usagi* "NO!!" Screaming Ami fell to her knees weeping, her whole body shaking with the effort of it. "No. Usagi, no, we can't! We..." **Mommy!!** *Chibi-Usa* **She shouldn't be fighting. It's too dangerous for her. But it's dangerous for all of us!! Yes Ami, but we don't have a child to care for** *Chibi-Usa* **Child. Daughter** "Oh God...forgive us Usagi-chan. Please...forgive us, Princess." ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hamachi is a kind of Japanese fish. Ami HATES it!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ *Usako* "Well are you?" he chocked on his own words. *Usagi! Please! Please say no! Please say I still have a chance, please...* "I...I..." "Mommy?" Chibi-Usa's small face was turned to hers, red eyes pleading with her. * Pleading? For what? Why wouldn't Chibi-Usa like Demando? He would be a perfect father. Father. Mamoru. Chibi-Usa wanted Mamoru as her father. Mamoru. Father. Husband.* Tears filled Usagi's eyes. That dream had been shattered long ago. Her scars proved it. Unconsciously she carressed her wrists. *Mamoru...* "Usagi?" he stepped towards her carefully, afraid she would run, and gently lifted her chin. "Usagi?" Confusion whirled in her eyes turning them a pale shade of grey. Confusion. Panic. Fear. *Oh Usako! What have I done to you?!* Pain. He could feel it closing in on him, suffocating him. He was drowning in a sea of agony. Agony he put there. His heart beat heavily within his chest. *Pain. Usako. Pain. Cold. Afraid. Hurt. Usako.* A tear escaped from beneath her lashes, leaving a crystal trail down her soft cheek. A muffled sob escaped from her throat followed by another tear. *Pain.* Without thinking he sweapt her into his arms, crushing her small frame against his body needing to feel her, to hold her again. He needed her like he needed the air. She was a vital part of him and he had been from her side for far too long. He buried his face in her hair, the golden locks tickling his face, the smell of vanilla overwhelming him. He could feel her chest rise and fall as she desperately tried to stop the tears. *Pain* He moved his head slightly, his lips brushing her ear. "Please Usako. Please don't cry." Another sob. "Please." He had to tell her. Tell her how much she still meant to him. How much she had always meant to him. "Usako..." How had he ever managed to let her go? *Usako?!* He pulled her closer. *I need you Usako. I love you! I love you so much it hurts!!* Mamoru stole a glance at the angel in his arms. Her fingers clenched at his shirt, her head resting on his shoulders, her breath tickling the hairs on his neck. She no longer cried, no longer trembled at his touch. *Usako...* She snuggled closer her arms sliding up his chest wrapping softly around his neck. She leaned in closer a smile now lit her previously ashen face. The smile he remembered from her youth. The smile that could brighten the darkest hour hour; make the worst day seem better. The smile that had made him fall for her in the first place. Her smile for him. Usagi cuddled closer pressing her lips against his neck lightly teasing him. Her lashes parted revealing clear azure eyes full of longing, forgiveness, joy and love. *Love* In that instant he knew she offered her heart again, all he had to do was accept. *She loves me* He could see it. Feel it in every bone. Taste it in every breath. Her smile widened and she kissed him, soft lips pressing against his with a long denied passion. **Stay away** Tilting his head slightly Mamoru deepened the kiss, his tounge slowly parting her lips to roam her mouth. **Stay away** She moaned drawing him closer her arms roaming his muscular back in apprecation. **Stay away** He was in heaven. His angel had returned to him. His love. Longing erupted in him as felt her soft body move against him. A longing which could now be satisfied. She was old enough now. Old enough to be a wife. Forgotten dreams returned. Dreams of a wedding, their wedding. Of flowers and ribbons, family and friends, and her. *Usako* **She was dressed in a white satin gown. An angel. Slowly she walked towards him, floating down the asile towards her groom. Him. She smiled as he drew her closer. His wife. Slowly her eyes began to close as he leaned down for a kiss. Soft pink lips parted slightly, a look of longing crossed her face. They'd waited so long and with this kiss it would be complete. Husband and wife. Wife. Usako. Wife.** **She'll die** He froze as the dream returned flooding his mind reminding him why he had left in the first place. **Stay away. She'll die** **Die** **Die** *Die* Roughly he pushed Usagi away, severing their kiss. Confusion was clearly written on her face. "Mam...Mamoru?" **She'll die** Images of her death poured into his mind. He could hear her screams, see her face frozen in the eternal pain of death. "Mamoru?" He looked into the eyes of his angel and knew for the second time in his life he was going to break her heart...and destroy his own. Tentavily Usagi stepped towards him, her trembling hand reaching out for his. *Please no. Not again. Please...* "Mamoru, daijobu?" He took a shakey breath. He had to do this. Her life depended on it. His love was posion. It couldn't be. It could never be. *Posion* "Daijobu," he replied calmly, his features twisted to mask his pain. *Usako I wish...* "Gomen Usagi but I..." "But what?!" He watched her feet stumble back a few steps. "But I don't feel the same? It wasn't like I remembered? What?! You don't love me anymore?!! Is that it!!" Her voice trembled with anger and pain. Pain he was once again responsible for. He'd broken her heart twice now. She'd never give him a chance again. Despite his wishes he looked up. Her face was covered with tears, pain and rejection clear on her features. Tears clouded his vision as he watched her choke down a sob. *Usako!* He resisted the urge to walk over to her and pull her into his arms, to hold her there and tell her everything would be alright. But he couldn't. His love was her death. *Posion* Mamoru clenched his fists in anger, his heart hammering in his chest. *Why does it have to be this way?!* "Why?" It was so quite he barely heard it. It took him a moment to realize it was Usagi who had spoken. She looked up, two crystalline blue eyes locking into his. "Why did you come back if you were only going to break my heart again?" His throat constricted making a response impossible as he tried in vain to hold back the pain. She looked on with cold eyes waiting for a reply. Minutes streached on as he tried to control the agony of her loss long enough to reply. Using all his self control hid the pain beneath the mask he had created during his childhood. He hid the pain so she wouldn't know how much it was hurting him. She couldn't see or she would never let him go. And she had to. For her to live she had to. There was no choice. *No choice.* **Stay away** **Stay away** **Stay away** **She'll die** "I see." He looked on emotionlessly as she closed the distance between them with frightening speed. Her eyes, now a cold grey, locked on his with a fierceness he hadn't thought possible in her. "You've made your choice I see. Now I make mine. Stay away from us Chiba Mamoru. Stay away." **Stay away** He chocked down the pain. "Don't bother showing up to help the Senshi." **Stay away** "Don't try to befriend us again." **Stay away** "Forget about me." **Stay away** Pain erupted in heart, choking him, his knees trembled with the force of it almost bringing him to the ground. *Forget her?!* **Stay away** "Forget about Chibi-Usa." Shock jolted him from his thoughts. *Chibi-Usa? Stay away from Chibi-Usa? But she's like a daughter. She needs me! She..* **She'll die** "Don't worry about us, Mamoru. Demando seemed generally intrested." *Demando?! That...her boss...* "And what is that supposed to mean?" *Please...please no...* "I've decided to accept his offer." She stated cooly. *No!!* "Good-bye Mamoru." End of Part 3... =================================== First off I'm sorry this part has taken so long to get out. Gomen!! I hope all of you find it worth your while. I finally got over my writer's block. *Yeah* But I've lost my computer too. *Weep* So I guess I'll have more time to write since I can't work on my web page anymore, right? Anyways you know the rules. No e-mails...no Chapter 4. LOL DarkElf