Disclaimer: No, these aren't my characters. No, I'm not going to make money off of them. No, Naoko, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!!! But yes, this is a Haruka character sketch. She loves a girl. Nothing happens here, but if you don't like it, you may go find some nice heterosexual fic to read now, maybe something with Chibiusa and Helios. ^_^ Sweet Dreams by haemonic ------------ The glare off the blade blinds me momentarily as I handle my new weapon. I still can't believe that this beautiful sword is mine. And not just mine in the normal sense, but this blade is part of me in a way that no soldier's tool ever was. Its beauty is a physical representation of my purity. My purity? I sheath the Space Sword and set it down beside me. Staring at it, I shake my head. There it is, right before my eyes, and I still can't believe it. *I am pure.* A week ago, I would have laughed in the face of the person who dared to say it. Were I not in fear for my partner's life, I might have even laughed in Eudial's. And now that leg of our mission is over. The Grail was found, and was kept out of the hands of the enemy by... Sailormoon. The thought of the young girl brings an honest smile to break the concern on my face. Now there was a pure one. Given the choice, that girl wouldn't hurt a fly, and yet she is probably the most powerful soldier among us. Though she says she won't, I bet she does forgive the daimons she has to destroy. Not an ounce of hatred or dishonesty in her. I never know whether to admire her or envy her. She's so full of hope and lovely dreams. And what of my own? I glance again at the sword. I must admit, it's done a great deal for me in the hope department. Not much for my dreams, but I certainly didn't need help with those. Well, all right, maybe that's not exactly the case... The one I had last night certainly wasn't the greatest I've ever had. I was standing... somewhere, and it was kind of dark. Michiru was there, in her Sailorneptune fuku. She was screaming at me, but I could only understand about every fourth word she said. And what was worse, I couldn't move. Not a muscle. I couldn't protest, beg for mercy, or even figure out what the problem was. I could only stare at her. The fire in her eyes threatened to leap out and burn me to theground. Her teeth snapped together with each consonant, and each time it was as though they were digging into the flesh on the back of my neck. Suddenly, her words became crystal clear. "What is it that you want?" she yelled. Then her face went perfectly blank. As soon as it did, I could move. But I didn't for a second. I didn't know what to do. Finally, I said, very quietly, "I want you." I don't even know if it was loud enough for her to hear. I started to move toward her, but when I got near her, she vanished. I've never felt so lonely as I did then. For a minute, I thought I was dead. And I was scared. Not of death, no, but of Michiru. I was really, truly afraid of her... or something. All I know is that the cold pit in my stomach didn't go away when I woke up, and the cold sweat in which I awoke was very real. I keep telling myself it's just another dream, just another crazy, meaningless dream... but I know what happened last time I tried to tell myself that. My dreams are never *nothing*... I've had one dream for so long. Spent years aiming for that one thing. Then all this came along and suddenly there were lots of things to pursue, so many dreams to fulfill. They run off in all sorts of directions, and I'm left here, trying to decide which one to chase after, and which one to run from. Lately, the one I've been running from is the same one I've been fighting for--the end of our mission. I know, sounds silly, doesn't it? The end of our mission means either the end of our lives or the end of the worst menace that the world has yet faced. And to tell you the truth, it's the latter that I fear most. Not that I'm scared of peace. Peace is great. But, to be honest, I more scared when I woke up with my talisman shining in front of me than when I shot it out. And as happy as I was to see Sailormoon use the Grail to defeat Eudial, I was even happier when she collapsed. She's not the messiah. There's still something to find. There's still a reason to stay with my partner. I can't help it. In all my dreams, good or bad, she's there. They all come back to her. She pervades my past, possesses my present. And the future? What happens to us in the future? What *us?* Is there really an *us* outside of this mission? What were we in the past, a thousand years ago? We're great now, but when we don't have this forcing us together, will she still be here? Or would she run screaming if I dared to tell her that I-- "A yen for your thoughts." Michiru's voice brought Haruka's head up faster than a gunshot. ~Some soldier I am--so distracted by this whole ordeal, I bet even Usagi could sneak up on me.~ "Sorry, but it'll take a lot more than that to get these thoughts out of me, Michiru." "Oh really," said an amused Michiru, "and how much would that be?" With a wry smirk, Haruka rose and headed out of the room. "I don't think either of us really wants to know that." And isn't it funny... fighting against the Silence while this silence hangs between us? [end] Yippee. I've had this one sitting around for a while, trying to figure out how to make it better, and I finally decided that the best way to do so is to release it and let you tell me. It's weird, it's bizzare, it's something I thought up while bored at work one day. I'm working on a similar one with Michiru, but it's a bit rougher, so look for it next week. I used no Japanese in here, so if you don't understand it, get a dictionary. ^_^ So yeah, I welcome constructive criticism, comments, complaints, and clapping at haemonic@collegeclub.com . You may strike it lucky and find me online under my AOL IM psudonym of haemonic. And remember, junk that I think, as well as updated versions of my fics, are almost always available at http://members.xoom.com/haemonic/index.html .