Title: From Deep Within Part: 1/? Author: Grace Spradlin Email: GraceSpradlin@hotmail.com (duh!) Site: http://members.nbci.com/cgrace14/ Timeline: guess, I'll tell you next chapter ^_^ ------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: yadda yadda yadda... you know who owns SM: not me. ------------------------------------------------------- I remember You And I remember that Your body was broken And I remember that Your blood was spilled I remember that You didn't have to do it And I remember You And I remember that Your body was broken And I remember that they pierced Your side Then You defied death and You ascended into the sky... -I Remember You 'Mac Powell' from 'Third Day' ------------------------------------------------------- ~*~Osaka Naru~*~ I glanced across the room at my bestfriend. My thoughts were cut short when I saw Haruna-sensei slam her meter-stick down on Usagi's desk. The girl didn't even flinch. I watched as Usagi slowly raised her head and locked eyes with the teacher. "Usagi! I will not have you falling asleep in my class! Go stand in the hall!" I flinched. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I grinned. That was before I noticed that my bestfriend wasn't even moving an inch. "NOW!" Still, Usagi did not move. Instead she lowered her head back onto the desk. Haruna-sensei glared down at the girl before stomping out of the room, I presume, to get the principal. Immediatly, I jumped up from my seat and ran over to Usagi's desk. "Usagi-chan! What's wrong?!" I knelt next to the desk and placed my palm on her shoulder. Suddenly, Usagi jumped up from her desk, knocking it and her chair over, and plastered her back against the wall, all the while staring wide-eyed at us. "Usagi....?" I backed up slightly and lowered my hand. Usagi looked at me briefly before running out of the room. I looked at the spot she once occupied then ran after her. ~*~Tsukino Usagi~*~ I ran as fast as my legs would allow me to. I didn't want to face them. I definatly did not want to face Naru. She would only try to make me tell her why I am now like this. Why I now hide deep within myself. Why I have now built up the wall inside me to keep others from knowing the real me. It's not like they don't already know. I don't want to be hurt anymore... Naru doesn't know. She wouldn't understand. It would only hurt her more in the end. To know I am Sailor Moon. To know that all the trust she placed in me would be shattered in a second. She probably wouldn't even look at me anymore. I wiped carelessly at my eyes, brushing away the now falling tears. I could hear Naru calling after me, her voice getting softer and softer until I couldn't hear her anymore. I knew she wouldn't be able to catch up with me, after all, I am Sailor Moon. I kept on running and did not stop until I reached the gates of PineView Forest. Shuddering, I looked past the gates and through the dark trees. Although it was only aruond lunchtime, it was still dark there. I could feel the cold air breeze by which was another reminder that October was right around the corner. The trees were not yet naked, as I could tell, but the leaves were not green anymore. Swallowing deeply, I walked past the gates and followed the path that lead straight through the dense trees. I didn't know where I was going nor why I was doing this. I just knew that I couldn't take this anymore. I couldn't take the pain. It was just too much. I didn't care anymore. Just as long as the pain would stop. But it didn't... no... wouldn't. Glancing one last time behind me, I headed deeper into the woods. ~*~Kino Makoto~*~ I looked up as Naru walked back into the room huffing and puffing. I knew she wouldn't catch Usagi. It was useless to even try. Usagi was hiding within herself. I could tell that much. I could feel her pain through the bond us senshi possess. I know that the pain I felt was only a fraction of what she felt at that moment. We all share the pain but I know hers is too great. I wouldn't even be surprised if she killed herself. But I won't allow it. She is my friend. I know that I should be mad that she is shutting me out along with the rest of them... I gripped the desk tightly to keep the tears from spilling forth. I let go of the table slowly and tried to calm down. Looking over to my right, my eyes rested on one of my bestfriends: Ami-chan. The poor girl was reading. But I could tell that she really wasn't. Silent tears formed in my eyes as I saw the wet trails streaking down her pale cheeks. A sob escaped from my throat and I threw my head into my hands as I cried. I could hear the hushed whispers all around me. I knew what they were saying even though I could not hear them. They had never seen me cry before. It was hard to believe. I did not care. All I wanted was for this all to stop. To go back in time and stop it all from even happening. We all have that wish sometime in our lives, but I wanted it right now. I could stop this from happening and Usagi would not be in any of this pain. Nor would any of us... ~*~Mizuno Ami~*~ I stared at the book in front of me. I wasn't really reading it. I couldn't. Not when Usagi is in so much pain. I can feel some of it as well. We all can. We all endured it, but Usagi is now baring most of it. I can almost feel Mako-chan's eyes boring into me from the left. I know she can feel Usagi's pain too. I can. She can. They can. But nobody else. They don't know anything of what went on. They think they do, but they don't. I can tell that Naru does feel a deep sadness for her friend but she does not know why. I will not tell her and neither will Makoto. If we did... we would be lost... like the rest. Usagi is not lost though. At the rate she is going, she will be though, someday. Tomorrow, or even tonight. My cheeks burned as hot tears continued to pour down my already soaked skin. I couldn't stop them. I heard Mako-chan rack with sobs and that just blew me away. I knew she felt the pain as well, but I had never seen her cry. I could tell she sensed that. I pulled a tissue out of my schoolbag and wiped the tears from my eyes. The whole class was now whispering about Makoto's actions. I almost smiled, but that was soon forgotten as I remembered just why she was crying and why we were like this. I took one last glance at the clock above the chalkboard then hurried over to my friend so we could endure this together... ~*~Aino Minako~*~ A silent tear rolled down my face, yet another to add to the other millions already. The teacher rambled on and on about who knows what but I didn't pay attention. I couldn't. I just couldn't while I knew that my bestfriend, cousin, and leader was out there, alone and keeping herself from killing herself. Hell. I was doing that just now. But I knew that if I left, it would only hurt the others more. And then what? Who would be next? That's just what they want... they want to see us be taken out one-by-one. They want to see us die without being touched by the enemy. "Aino-san, are you paying attention?" I looked up at the teacher again. I didn't lie. I just shook my head, no, then turned to look out the window again. I could hear the snickers and giggles of my peers as I could almost sense the teacher walk up to my desk from behind. "And why *not*?" Damn the man. He couldn't feel my pain. I'm surprised he didn't react to me crying. But then again, I always do. Mostly over a boy that dumped me for that preppy girl across the street. But I knew that that life was over and would never come back. I would never even look at a boy the same way as I did before. I probably won't even take the time to *look* at one. But back to the teacher. He is such a snob. I hope he leaves me alone after I'm done with him. "Because I don't want to. I don't need to. I don't care to and I don't have to. Just leave me the Hell alone! You have no idea how I feel! My bestfriend is out there alone, probably going to kill herself, and I have to sit here and listen to your stupid nagging all day. I don't have to hear this. I'm leaving." I picked up my schoolbag and tossed it over my shoulder while heading out the door. I could feel the eyes of all the students staring at me as though I were some sort of meat for them to devour. Once I was out of the building, I took off after my senses. I could sense where my bestfriend was at this moment. I could always. But why would she be there? Wouldn't that hurt her the most? Damn her! She needs to get ahold of herself. If she even tries to kill herself, we'd all be lost. She is our only hope of surviving. This world needs her more than she can imagine. She just needs to realize this on her own. God! I thought that this had already shocked her senses into reality. But she just pulled herself deeper within the confines of her soul, put up that wall around her heart, and shut everybody out. She needs us as much as we need her. I just hope she comes to realize that soon before we all lose hope. ~*~Hino Rei~*~ I glared harshly at the woman before me. She was such a pain and I knew that she could tell that I hated her. She had no idea why I acted that way and she thinks she can help me by *talking* my problems out with her. Hell. I wanted to beat my problems into her. Maybe then she would understand how I feel. My head ached with so much pain. My senses had already shattered because of the onslaught of pain from each senshi. My psychic powers were shot. My pain had ripped them apart and sent them away with the other powers I now no longer obtain. Yes, I could get them back but I would have to get rid of this pain and calm my nerves and senses so that I could call upon them successfully. "Now, Hino-san, tell me why you attacked Aku-san." My glare did not faulter. "Because I wanted to." My answer was simple and I didn't know why she wouldn't take it. It was perfectly ok and absolutely true. "Why did you *want* to? What did he do to deserve this?" I clenched my fists. What did we do to deserve *THIS*? We did nothing and yet we got all this pain shoved upon us for no damn reason. Just then, I knew that I would not be able to give her a straight answer. She wouldn't understand. She would laugh in my face as if that weren't enough pain to endure. But I couldn't complain. I could still feel Usagi's deep sadness and remorse. Her depressed state was not caused by herself although I could sense she felt guilty and very well blamed herself for it all. But she is wrong. It is all my fault. If only I could have been a better senshi. A better friend. This would never have happened. Nobody would be like this. Nobody would feel this pain. Usagi would still have that wonderful bubbly self that never seises(sp?) to bring a smile to my face. But now it is gone. Along with all her laughter and cheer. She is now pale. I can practically see her bones now. I thought that she was skinny before but now she just stands out. I cannot blame her for her state of being. I am also ruined. Grandpa never nags on me because of the way I look now. Yuuchirou tries to make me tell him why I'm like this. I don't want to tell them. I can't tell them. I won't tell them. Grandpa made me stop chanting and searching the fire. He says I'm too weak. Then how did I just beat the Hell out of that guy ten minutes ago? Nope. Nobody would understand that us senshi will never be the same. I know that we have to get past this to survive but in order to do this, we need our leader, no, friend. She needs to pull together like the rest of us. But just thinking of what we lost and the pain... it is just too much... I stood up from the chair I was sitting in that was facing the principal. I could tell that she was stunned. I didn't care. I nodded my head to her before walking out of the door and out of the building as if nothing had happened. As if school was let out and I were going home. I'm not going home though. I don't know where I'm going. I'm not staying there though. I cannot face them. They are all confused and do not know why I act this way. But then again. They are not a senshi... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~To Be Continued~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ God... that was so depressing... to me it was. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope I can get another part out soon. Actually, I am sending this tomorrow which would be your today. Feedback is always appreciated as well as.... ::whisper:: flames... hehe. Anyways, gotta go. It's midnight here. Buh bai and God Bless!! Go and listen to 'City On a Hill' and 'Consuming Fire' by Third Day!