Pretty Soldier Sailor Andromeda Episode 102 "Life With Lina" by Devin de Gruyl (The nine-to-five-just-ain't-alive Kid) --- [...] [...Lina...] [Lina... Lina Takashi...] <"Lina"? Is... is that my name? I - I can't remember...> [What is the last thing you remember?] <...I... I'm in a... a cave of some kind... I'm down on my knees... I'm too hurt to move... there's a - some kind of woman standing over me... laughing or something...> [Nothing more?] <...n-no... no more...> [You will... in time, you will remember all...] [For now, that is of no concern. What matters is that the transference has been successful.] [Be silent, my child. We have no time for questions - I must be brief. You are our last hope.] [The safety of the multiverse. All depends on you, Lina Takashi.] [...My time grows short. I must leave you for now... watch for the signs, and all will become clear...] [You will. When the time is right, you will understand everything. ...I must go. "He" is approaching...] [Lina?] [Lina...] [Lina... wake up...] --- "...Lina?" "...mmm... supposed to do... come back... hmmm?" Slowly, gradually, Lina fought her way through the foggy inconsistency of her dream, eventually feeling it dissipate around her. It felt like she was swimming through an Olympic-sized pool of Jell-O - an almost agonizingly sluggish process that left her feeling fuzzy and perhaps just a bit sitcky as well. Finally, her returning senses registered a slight, but insistent, pressure on her right shoulder, gently nudging her back to reality. She opened her eyes, blinking several times to clear her hazy vision, and looked up to see a young man standing over her. He was tall, slightly heavyset, had a head of short brown hair, and for a moment, Lina absolutely could not place him. "C'mon, Sleeping Beauty," he was saying to her, in a firm but gentle tone not unlike one a father would use to coax a lacksidasical daughter out of bed. "Up and at 'em..." Lina came fully awake, and at last remebered who this was. Gary Evans, the person whose apartment she was staying at... and, not so incidentally, the author who had created her to begin with. Through means neither of them could fully understand or comprehend, she had almost literally jumped off his computer screen and into his life - which she had immediately complicated immensely. For Lina was the title character in Gary's Sailor Moon fanfic, "The Adventures of Sailor Andromeda," and she came to the real world with her Sailor Senshi powers fully intact. As Sailor Andromeda, she had actually proven instrumental in the capture of a pair of dangerous fugitives that had been hiding out in the woods near Gary's apartment complex. However, the fact that he had been presented with an actual, real-life superheroine had nearly given poor Gary a complex of an entirely different variety... That had been three nights ago. Since then, both she and Gary had entered into a kind of uneasy co-existence - since Lina realistically had no place else to go, and Gary (despite his initial hostility) was at heart a kind person, he had allowed her to stay with him. "Temporarily," he had amended, "just until we both figure out exactly what's happening here." With a slight groan, Lina sat up on the couch she had been using as her bed these past three nights. The memory of that dream had left her with a nagging sense of dread - it had seemed like far more than just a dream. More like a vision of the future, perhaps? The past? Something entirely unexplained? With effort, she pushed the dream out of her mind. Her current situation was bizarre enough without nightmares compounding the problem. She stretched out her arms, arching her back in the process. "Unhh... morning, Gary..." "I made us some breakfast," Gary said. "There's a few things we need to discuss, and I figured it'd go easier over some food." "Is that what I smell burning?" Lina asked, reaching for her glasses. "Huh? Burning --" Gary cut himself off, as his nose registered what Lina was talking about. Sure enough, he detected the unmistakable smell of bacon slowly turning into charcoal in an unattended pan. "Aw, jeez! Son of a..." Lina couldn't help but giggle - to herself, of course - as Gary frantically raced into the kitchen to forestall the impending grease fire. Through the divider, she could see him snap off the stove, pull the pan away from the burner, and grab a small fire extinguisher from under the counter to put out the smoldering remains of breakfast. "Gee, thanks, Emeril," Lina called into the kitchen, her voice only partially serious. "Bacon with C-O-2 frosting - my fave!" Gary glared through the divider at her, but thankfully he picked up on Lina's playful tone. "Well," he said, with a slight chuckle, "at least now you know why you can't cook..." "That's true - guess I've got no grounds for complaint, huh?" Lina smiled, as the thought reminded her of a funny story. "Like that time I offered to cook dinner for Mako-chan..." Gary laughed - he knew what she was talking about, of course, since he'd written it in the first place. "Somehow, I don't think her taste buds will ever be the same again - to say nothing of the condition you left her kitchen in! And I thought 'Nurse Minako' was a walking disaster area --" He cut himself short once he felt Lina's penetrating gaze go right through him. "Funny, Author-Boy," she grumbled. "REAL funny." "Um... er..." Gary's eyes darted around the kicthen nervously. "...Why don't I just grab some cereal for us, hmm?" "Good idea," Lina replied. "Though I don't think you should eat any..." "Why not?" "Haven't you heard? NOTHING tastes good when your mouth is full of Foot Seasoning..." Lina just managed to duck out of the way of the oven mitt Gary tossed out of the kitchen at her. --- "Now, let me get this straight," Lina said. "You're my author, correct?" "Mmmf... mm-hmm," Gary replied, as best he could with a mouthful of cereal. "The person who created me, without whom I wouldn't even exist?" Gary swallowed. "Um... yeah, I suppose..." "And I'm supposed to think of you as sort of a father figure, right?" "If you like, I guess - what's your point?" "My point, 'Dad,' is this --" Lina tapped the cereal box between them with the end of her spoon. "-- it's *awful* hard to take you seriously as my authority figure when you still eat Fruity Pebbles!" Gary groaned and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't aware you had to approve of my choice of breakfast foods..." "Well, you'd better get used to it," Lina shot back. "I don't plan on being here very long, but as long as I AM here, you're just gonna have to accept the idea that it'll be under *your* roof!" "And that's just what I wanted to talk to you about," replied Gary. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lay down some ground rules for you, if you want to keep living here..." "Excuse me?" Lina's eyes narrowed. "*Rules*?" "In case you've forgotten, *you're* the one who's barging in on *my* life," Gary explained calmly, "so I'm well within my rights to do this." Lina started to protest, but ultimately just let out a sigh of resignation. "The most annoying thing about it is, you're right, I suppose..." "Of course I am," Gary said, not unkindly. "Now, first of all... if anyone asks, you're my cousin." Lina blinked and stared. "Your COUSIN?!" "I've already explained it to Mr. Caldwell - my landlord, remember him? The guy you made such a *wonderful* first impression on? Anyway, I told him that you were my cousin, that you were on the business end of a shotgun wedding that went South real quick, and since I'm the only relative that you have in this area, you'll be staying with me for a while until you can get back on your feet. It was the only way I could keep him from increasing my rent for a double-occupancy - and a *mixed* one at that - so if anyone asks where you came from, *that's* the story you tell them. Understood?" Lina nodded. "Got it." "I *mean* it - if our stories don't match, we're both sunk!" "I'm not *stupid*, Gary," she said, with a hint of annoyance. "Matter of fact, I think I'm *very* intelligent for a three-day-old..." "Um... yeah, whatever. Anyway, on to Rule Number Two: You're gonna have to get a job." "A what?" "A job." "Me?" "You." Lina casually adjusted her glasses, but kept her gaze fixed firmly on her author. "For your sake, Author-Boy, I hope you can explain why..." "Well... for starters, I'm not exactly what you'd call 'independently wealthy'... matter of fact, I just barely make enough for myself as it is! And now, with you here..." Gary shrugged. "You're gonna need clothes... extra food... things like that, that I don't make enough by myself to buy." "I've already *got* clothes," Lina insisted, pointing to her T-shirt and pants. "What you *have* represents the last of my petty cash for the next three months," Gary half-grumbled. "Three T-shirts, a sweater, two pairs of slacks, a bra, and a package of panties - and you DON'T want to know the looks I got when I bought those last two items! ...No, I'm assuming you're used to having a lot more than just that in your wardrobe, so you'll have to earn that money yourself if you want it." "But, Gary --" "No 'buts' about it - if you want to stay here, you need a means of supporting yourself. That simple." Lina thought it over for a moment. "Of course, if you'd RATHER take your chances elsewhere..." "N-no, it's OK," Lina said quickly. "It's just that... well..." "Well what?" "...I... never had to take an actual *job* before - remember, I'm sort of 'otherwise occupied' back home," she continued, using her index finger to "draw" an Andromeda symbol in midair, to emphasize what was keeping her occupied. "Oh, is *that* all," Gary said, his mood suddenly brightening. "It just so happens that I *know* a place that could use some help..." "Where?" "Century Media. It's a local book-and-movie store not ten minutes from Rosewood Commons - they could always use new salespeople on the floor." Lina frowned. "Book-and-movie store? Salespeople? ...What would I be doing?" "Just your basic sales job - you know, stocking shelves, pointing out where things are in the store, hoping that your customers don't lynch you for misdirecting them... things like that." "Hmm..." Lina went silent as she considered her options. She didn't have too many. It didn't seem as though Gary was about to let her squirm her way out of this predicament gracefully. Besides, he had a point - the things she needed cost money, and Gary just didn't have enough for the both of them. And as jobs go, what he was describing didn't sound quite as bad as other jobs she could have gotten - cleaning the grease trap at a McDonalds, scrubbing toilets at a gas station, or other such appetizing positions. she decided, "OK... I'm in," she eventually said aloud, after another moment's consideration. "I'll give it a shot..." Gary grinned. "That's just great, really! They'll really appreciate the extra help - I can almost gaurantee you'll get hired!" But Lina could sense he was holding some vital piece of information back. Suspiciously, she asked him, "OK... so, what else is it?" His smile melted away slowly at the question. "What?" he said. "What're you talking about?" "There's more to this than you're telling me, isn't there? I can see it in your eyes..." "We-ell." "Out with it, Author-Boy, or else...!" Lina cracked her knuckles to underscore her irritation. Gary could feel the perspiration pouring from his forehead. "Um... well, there *is* one *little* thing I *may* have neglected to mention..." Lina glared at him. "DO tell." And Gary told her. And Lina only just barely managed to fight off the urge to strangle him. --- They spoke not a single word for the entire ten-minute trip from Gary's apartment to Century Media. Lina simply sat and stared forward out the windshield at the passing suburban landscape, feeling equal parts used, betrayed, and just plain vanilla angry. Whenever Gary so much as cleared his throat or tried to look in her direction, she shot him a glare that could have bored through Gibraltar. Gary, for his own part, couldn't understand why Lina was acting this way. After all, he'd just spared her the frustration and humiliation of job-hunting... a task that would have been made doubly arduous, since Lina knew nothing of how the real world worked. He was just trying to help her out... couldn't Lina see that? he mused, Century Media was located in what qualified as Middletown's "main drag" - a half-mile stretch of road also containing a supermarket, three fast-food joints, a Motel 6, and a smallish department store. The store in question had been built out of the shell of an old two-screen neighborhood movie theater, and retained the large marquee sign out front (now used to advertise sales and new releases) and the anachronistic ticket-taker's booth. It was an impressive exterior sight to say the least, a perfect example of the "retro" architectural look that was so in vogue at the time Century Media, a national chain of "entertainment" stores, purchased the property. Gary pulled into a parking slot right by the entryway. He turned to Lina, who was still plainly fuming. "This is it," he said. "Um... do you want to go in first, or...?" Lina gave him both an evil eye and an exaggerated, sarcastic "You're-the- boss" gesture. "OK, fine," Gary snapped. He threw open the door to the car and stormed out. "Just remember, I'm *trying* to do you a *favor* - the least you could be is grateful!" "*Thanks*," Lina replied, her voice actually forming ice crystals in front of her. "What're you so upset about, anyway? You needed a job, I told you where you could get a good one..." "...at the store where YOU work too?!" She made no attempt to hide the anger in her voice. "You COULD at least have told me THAT piece of info BEFORE you got me to agree to this!" "What for?! I don't see what the big hairy deal is..." "You just want to keep an eye on me! That's the only reason you even suggested it!" "No! I just --" Gary sighed. This was getting him nowhere, just nowhere. "...Look, it's like this - you need work, we need help here, it's not hard to put that two and two together. 'Sides, it's not like it'll be *forever*..." Lina simply continued to glare at him, though he thought he detected a slight softening of her eyes. "I'm not gonna use any leverage to get you the job, if that's what you're thinking," he said. "Hell, I don't even *have* leverage to give - for all I know, I could be fired just for asking!" Lina sighed and unhooked her seat belt. "Look - quit apologizing and let's just get this over with, huh?" "You're going through with this?" "Only to shut you up about it..." She got out of the car, shot Gary a look that fairly screamed "Don't expect me to forgive you anytime soon," and walked into the building without so much as glancing back over her shoulder. Gary stared off after her, then shook his head and looked up at the sky. he thought, --- The inside of Century Media bore little resemblence to its movie-theater facade. The place had been completely gutted and rebuilt as part of the conversion to a bookstore. What had been the lobby was now a customer-service area and a showcase for new books and movies, and in keeping with the exterior motif, new releases and coming attractions were promoted in old-style movie poster displays. The main part of the store - the two former theaters themselves - was an immense, high-ceilinged array of aisles, displays, and other examples of modern retail design. The store was neatly divided into the different sections of its product line; books over there, videotapes here, computer software along the far wall, tapes and CD's dead center. A customer, entering Century Media for the first time, could be excused from feeling a certain sense of awe at the impressive sight - it could be a bit overwhelming if one wasn't prepared for it. However, Gary had worked here for almost two years, and had long since stopped even looking around at his surroundings. A shopper's delight it may well have been, but to Gary, it was just another day at the office. As for Lina, she was still feeling too angry with Gary to really pay much attention. Gary stepped up to the customer service desk, formerly the theater's refreshment stand, located right in the middle of the entrance area. A bored-looking young woman, a strawberry blonde in her early twenties, was idly looking something up in the computer terminal just by her. From her name badge, Lina could tell that her name was Cyndi, and that she was an assistant manager. "Hi, Cyn," Gary said, a touch of weariness in his voice. After two years in the same work environment, it was hard to get enthused about coming to work. Cyndi looked up, wearing an expression quite similar to Gary's. "Oh, hi, Gary," she said, tiredly but with a hint of mild surprise. "You're here early, aren't you?" "Yeah, I know - that's 'cause I need a favor," Gary replied. He indicated Lina with a gesture in her direction. "This is my cousin, Lina Takashi - she'll be staying with me for a little while. Lina," he added to his companion, "this is Cyndi Reeves, one of my managers here..." Cyndi turned to face the redhead, and smiled warmly in spite of her seemingly cold exterior. "Nice to meet you, Lina," she said, extending a hand. Tenatively, Lina took the hand. "Likewise." Inwardly, Gary breathed a sigh of relief. "...Anyway, the favor I need is this - I know we're hiring now, right? And Lina here, she'll be needing a job for as long as she's gonna be with me - so, I was hoping if --" "Sorry," Cyndi cut him off abruptly. "You know the rules about nepotism, Gary - as long as you're also working here, we can't even let her have an interview." "She's not a *blood* relative, though," Gary quickly amended, thinking as fast as his mouth was moving. "Her, ah, parents have been friends of my family for ages; we practically grew up together." (This was partly true, in fact; Lina was very heavily based on Naomi Thompson, a girl Gary *had* grown up with, who had died under tragic circumstances roughly two years previous.) "She's only my cousin that way..." "Hmm." Cyndi put a finger beside her lips and considered. "I'd have to talk it over with Mark to be sure, of course - but I *think* I can sell him on that idea... Of course, I won't mention the 'cousin' thing, but I'll see what I can't do." She picked up the phone and started dialing. "...Hello, Mark? This is Cyndi at the desk - sorry to bother you, but Gary's here, and he's brought a... a friend of his, who wants to work for us..." Lina's face briefly flashed crimson at that line. <"*Wants* to work here"? Yeah, about as much as I *want* a youma in my shower!> "...uh-huh... OK, thanks - I'll tell them." Cyndi replaced the phone in its cradle, and faced Lina. "Lina, if you'll just come with me; Mark said he'd like to interview you for the position..." "Interview?" Lina looked puzzled and alarmed at the same time. "Um... don't I have to fill something out first...?" "You can fill out the application while you're waiting for him," Cyndi assured her. "His office is just this way - Gary, why don't you clock in and grab a register, hmm? As long as you're here anyway, we could use the help..." "Yeah, OK," Gary said. "Lina, could I see you just a moment?" He motioned Lina aside, pulling her close so they could talk privately. "I'm still not speaking to you," Lina growled. Gary winced. "All I wanted to do was wish you good luck..." "Thanks," she replied icily. "Coming from you, that means *so* much." Without another word, she shrugged away from his "huddle" and followed Cyndi back in the direction of the store manager's office. Gary sighed and walked over to the time clock. For once, he found himself actually welcoming the day-to-day routine of his job. At least, he mused, he could focus on something else besides the sudden appearence in his life of one of his own creations... --- The store's manager, Mark, did a lot of "hmm"ing and "uh-huh"ing as he looked over Lina's application. Every now and then, the burly and heavily-mustacioed man would glance over at the bespectacled, mildly uncomfortable redhead seated across the table from him, make more thoughtful noises, and go back to reading. "Takashi, huh? ...Oriental, I take it?" Lina nodded. "Japanese, yes." "If you don't mind my saying so, you hardly look it." "Well, I'm only *half* Japanese, sir," Lina explained. "My father was born and raised in Osaka, but my mother was an American." "I see," Mark muttered to himself, as he continued reading over the application. "What brings you to our little suburban Paradise, here?" "Um..." Lina faltered briefly, trying to remember the story Gary had told her to give. "It's, ah... kind of personal, I'd really rather you didn't ask." Mark shrugged. "Okay, fair enough." He went back to poring over the application. "I couldn't help but notice that you don't have any references listed here except for Gary..." "Um, that's because all my references don't ex --" "...don't eeeeexactly live nearby; my whole family's in Japan right now." "Really? According to Cyndi, Gary says you two grew up together..." Lina cursed inwardly for her gaffe, but tried to think fast. "Er... we *did*... but, um, you see, my father, um, got transferred to the Tokyo branch when I was ten or so; I haven't been back in the States since." "Uh-huh." Surprisingly, Mark seemed to buy Lina's hastily-dreamt-up excuse, though it was obvious he wasn't thrilled by it. "OK... no previous work experience, I gather?" Lina shook her head. "None to speak of, no." "I see..." Mark set the papers down beside him and looked directly at Lina. "Well, Ms. Takashi, I don't quite know what to tell you. You haven't exactly given me a whole lot to go by about yourself... I'm afraid there's no earthly reason why I should hire you." Lina did not even flinch, but inwardly, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. It looked like Gary's scheme wasn't going to work... "On the other hand," Mark added, "we're *really* desperate for help on the floor right now - we've had three people walk out on us in the past week! So... I probably shouldn't, but... OK, I'll give you a shot." Lina groaned silently. "You will?" she inquired, with a voice full of enthusiasm... but her inner voice repeated the question in a far more resigned manner. "Sure - matter of fact, if you can, I'd like for you to start right away. You don't mind, do you?" But Lina kept her temper in check. Back in her own world, she'd been in many a tiff with Rei (her classmate as well as her fellow Senshi), and through that verbal sparring, she'd learned a valuable lesson of life - "Pick your battles." Sometimes, the best victory was in knowing when to admit defeat, so you could come back and win the greater battles yet to come. Besides, it wasn't as if she had anything better to do with her time... Lina resigned herself to her situation, her last visible protest coming in the form of a final sigh of surrender. "...All right," she said haltingly, forcing herself to keep from adding "You win" to the end of her statement. "OK, great," Mark said, enthusiastically shaking her hand. "Welcome aboard, Lina! You just wait right here" - he got up to leave - "and I'll get you your work vest and we'll get you started..." He stepped out of the office, leaving a somewhat bewildered Lina still sitting down, intensely wondering - not for the first time, and certainly not for the last - exactly how many of the Kami she'd pissed off to get herself into this... and how many different ways she could kill Gary for his part in it. --- One hour later, still mildly annoyed, Lina found herself on the sales floor, wearing a tacky dark green vest over her street clothes and being impelled to listen to an "orientation" meeting of sorts, in which she was apparently supposed to learn how to do the job she'd just been hired for. Her only consolation was that Rose, the trainer in question, wasn't any more thrilled about this than she was. Rose, a rather heavyset type of roughly sixty, was giving Lina the nickel tour of the store; showing her where everything was located, the proper way to stock the bookshelves (front cover facing towards the customer, spine out only as a space filler), and giving her some of the ground rules. Her tired-sounding tone, combined with her (it seemed to Lina) naturally cynical worldview, only served to make Lina even more edgy and uncomfortable than she already was - and that was saying something. She was continuing to give Lina the list of "don'ts". "...no standin' around doing nothing, no talkin' to customers outside of helpin' 'em find what they want, no eatin' out of your pocket... and NO WINDOW SHOPPING. Got all that?" Lina nodded, even though she hadn't really been paying much attention. "Good. Now, here" -- Rose thrust a large and heavy box into Lina's arms -- "you can get started with these. The latest Danielle Steel, so they go on the main-aisle display like so." "Unhh... OK..." Lina groaned slightly under the weight of the box. As a Sailor Senshi, she would be able to lift *three* boxes like this with just one hand, but as a regular human... There was something nagging at her, though. With great effort to keep the box from falling out of her arms, she looked back at Rose. "...um... if I can (oof) ask you a question (ahh), though?" "Go ahead - s'what I'm here for." "If I may (oof) say so... you don't (ungh) seem too pleased (nnrgh) to see me (ulf)..." Rose let out one of those long, deep sighs that just screamed "Oh, I am going to make you SO sorry you asked that question". "Look, hon... You wanna know how long I've been workin' for this company? Probably longer than you've been ALIVE. I was stockin' shelves for slave wages when your FATHER was your age, more'n likely... I've seen 'em come, and I've seen 'em go... believe me, I'm long past carin' either way." Lina began to feel extremely uncomfortable. Only about thirty percent of it was from the box. "First job, I take it?" "Uh... yes (ngh), ma'am." "I thought so... you seem like a nice kid, hon, so here's some free advice - my good deed for the day to a stranger. Don't get too comfortable around here, OK? Lotta turnover in a job like this... they'll drop you in a minute if they think they can get by without ya. I think the only reason they keep me around is so I can give 'em that advice, y'know?" Lina began to sweat profusely. She felt her knees begin to buckle under her heavy load. "Um... (oof) If you (ow) don't mind (ungh), ma'am, I'd better (ulf) put these (nngh) away, before..." "Hmm? Oh, yeah," Rose suddenly realized that Lina was plainly struggling with the book-box. "Yeah, you'd better.. y'know..." Lina stumbled off in the direction of the main aisle, her heavy burden causing her to wobble slightly from side to side. Rose simply stared off after her. It was very strange indeed, or so she thought. She'd been with Century Media for thirty-five years, dating back to when they were simply a local bookstore somewhere out in California. In all that time, she had, as she told Lina, "seem 'em come and seen 'em go", almost literally by the hundreds. She'd long ago lost count of the number of co- workers she'd had over the years. But there was just something about this Lina... something that she'd never felt before about anyone else. This kid was *different*, somehow... "Ah well," Rose shrugged. "Must be gettin' old..." She promptly decided to take a fifteen-minute break and grab a smoke. Maybe that would help somewhat... or not. --- Lina pulled books out of the box and placed them on the shelf, all the while trying her level best not to think about the sheer ridiculousness of her predicament. It only seemed to be getting stranger and stranger as the days went by... she mused as she paused to wipe some of the sweat from her brow. Lina audibly, involuntarily gasped. Her line of thought had caused the words of her bizarre dream to creep back into her conscious mind. She could hear those words loud and clear, just as if the mysterious speaker was standing right behind her, and wasn't just in her head. Lina violently shook her head from side to side, as if that would somehow stop her subconscious from tormenting her like this. "Um... excuse me? Ma'am?" It took Lina a second to realize that the voice was talking to her. Suddenly remembering her all-too-brief crash course in customer service, Lina forced a smile onto her face, turned to face the customer, and delivered her scripted greeting like a pro. "Hi, how can I help you?" The young man she now faced - Lina guessed his age to be about seventeen, perhaps slightly older - looked nervously around, almost as if he was expecting somebody to be following him. He wore faded, torn blue jeans, an "Austin 3:16" T-shirt that had seen better days, and a pair of what had at one time been rather expensive sneakers, but were now dingy gray throw-ons. He self- consciously ran his fingers through his close-cropped hair. "I'm, uh, looking for where you guys keep the computer software... you know, the big stuff - Word, Excel, Photoshop, that sort of thing. Can you... ya know... point to where it is?" Had Lina been operating at her peak capacity, she would've noticed three things inherently suspicious about this situation. One, this customer looked just a little *too* nervous about this. It would've worked had he been at a drugstore purchasing certain unmentionable "male health products," but not in a store like Century Media. Two, his attire and appearence seemed to imply that, whatever his software needs may have been, professional - and expensive - tools such as the ones he described were probably not among them. And three, even if his need for them was genuine, he almost definitely wouldn't have spoken of them in such broad terms; he would have known *exactly* which software package he needed. But Lina was *not* at her peak - the stresses of the day, combined with her disorientation over her dreams, saw to that - so she let these danger signs pass unheeded. Sighing nervously, both to mask her having been caught off guard and out of genuine confusion over the layout of the store, she started gesticulating in the general direction of the requested department. "Uh... I just started here, and I'm not that familiar with it yet... um... I think software's over... yes, over there, just behind the casse --" "Thanks!" The customer took off like a shot in the direction Lina had just pointed. She didn't even get to try and explain just where those specific titles could be found in that department. "...Oh well," she muttered to herself. "I tried - that's the important thing, isn't it?" Satisfied with her rationalization, she resumed stocking shelves without giving the situation another thought. --- At his register, Gary was beginning to sweat bullets. "Um, sir, if you'll just --" "Don't hand me that, young man! I said I wanted my money back, and you're gonna give it to me!" The elderly gentleman, who was acting like anything but a gentleman, pounded the countertop with his fist to underscore his frustration, and thrust the box back into Gary's hand. Gary sighed and, for what seemed like the millionth time, went over the store policy with this customer once again. "Sir, that's what I'm trying to say - this is *software*. I can't give you a refund if its already been opened; I can only exchange it for the same title!" "You don't understand! I don't WANT the same title - I want my damn MONEY that I SPENT on this worthless piece of crap!" "It's...!" Gary clamped down hard on his lower lip with his teeth, and tried very hard not to visualize his own fists scoring a bullseye right on this guy's nose. No matter what explanation he used to placate the customer and explain to him Century Media's anti-piracy policies, he flat-out refused to listen. , he briefly mused. However, the reminder of his own personal live-in headache caused him to involuntarily glance over to where Lina was stocking the new releases. As luck would have it, he happened to spot her just as she was acosted by a scruffy-looking customer. Temporarily ignoring the furious ranting of his own customer, Gary watched transfixed as Lina pointed him in the direction of the computer software, and saw him take off in that direction, as if running a hundred-yard dash that existed only in his mind. The warning sirens that Lina ignored were sounding all too clearly in Gary's mind right now. Only a not-so-light tapping on his hand snapped him out of it. With a quick, sharp gasp, Gary turned back to his own customer, who out of frustration had started pounding on the errant cashier's hand with the offending software box. "I said," he seethed, "I want to talk to your manager. NOW, boy, NOW!" "Uh..." Gary glanced wildly around, spotting Cyndi over by a candy display just in front of the register, watching his discomfort with concern and no small amount of "better-you-than-me" amusement. "...uh, Cyn? Can you handle this please?" He locked his register. "I'll be right back, sir -- Cyn, please?" Cyndi shrugged. "Sure, I suppose... but where are you headed?" "Software. I don't like the looks of the guy that just ran down there." "But you can't just --" "Sorry, but this can't wait!" Cyndi could only stare off in the direction Gary had just ran off in. He seemed totally absorbed by whatever it was he had seen, and whatever it was, it was important enough to him to abandon this customer. The customer, like a shark sniffing blood in the water, sensed a new target for his ire. "All right, lady," he growled, turning his full attention to Cyndi, "maybe *now* I'm gonna get what I WANT! The customer is always right, you know!" As she stepped up to Gary's vacated register, a bystander might have heard Cyndi mutter some unintelligible syllables under her breath, none of them with complimentary-sounding connotations, that seemed to relate vaguely to the chastity of Gary's mother... --- It was about a minute later that Lina finally came to and realized her mistake. She had been reading the titles of some of the books she was putting away, making note of a few that looked interesting enough for her to check out later - on her own time, of course. One title in particular, a self-help book that somehow got mixed in with the fiction she was supposed to be stocking, grabbed her interest enough for her to pause for a moment: _Customer Service for Dummies_. She did not start leafing through the book - she took personal offense at any author who would refer to his or her audience as "dummies" - but its title caused her to think back to the odd exchange she'd just had with that customer. As soon as she did that, her rational mind finally clicked back into the "on" position. Finally, Lina was able to see for herself the many things about that customer - the incongruities, the nervousness, all of it - that simply did not ring true. she realized with horror, Such was Lina's shock and horror over having been caught *that* much off guard, that she immediately dropped the box of books she was holding right on her foot. She didn't even notice it, however. The only thing on her mind was the enormity of what she'd done. Without thinking, she ran off towards the computer software, ignoring the puzzled reactions of other customers and employees. Stealth and spying techniques were all well and good, but this did not seem to be the time to utilize those skills. No, this situation called for *action* - one action in particular, if her suspiscion was correct. No sooner had she arrived in that department than her worst fears were confirmed. Ducking behind an endcap so she wouldn't be noticed, she saw him pick up a copy of Adobe Photoshop and warily glance around both ways. Then, he pulled out a tiny pocketknife, slit open the cellophane wrapped around the box, carefully pried the lid open, and extracted the CD-ROM in its jewel case. Finally, with a surgeon's care and precision, he slowly closed the box flap and placed the box back on the shelf. The CD he stuffed inside his shirt, where Lina could make out the faint outlines of several other jewel cases just like it. Despite his slow and careful procedure, the entire operation had taken less than a minute. He was, obviously, a true pro at the shoplifting game. Lina had to admire his technique; this was like watching a master artist at work. Of course, that wasn't about to save his sorry little ass. Lina had him dead to rights... and she proceeded in the only way she knew how. She slipped away, still unnoticed, and ducked into a large door cut into the wall marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY". Once there, she looked around for a place where she could stand and not be noticed, finding it in an alcove formed by large shipping pallets. She dove behind the cardboard-and-cellophane towers, double-checked to make sure she was completely alone, and concentrated. Like magic, her Andromeda Pen materialized in her hand, plucked right from her "pocketspace". She felt its cool smoothness in her hand for a brief moment, then held it above her head, and a familiar refrain escaped her mouth. "Andromeda Star Power... MAKE UP!!!" Instantly, the pen - and her world - dissolved into a cascading frenzy of colors and sound. A gale-force wind rose up to meet her, stripping off her clothes and bathing her body in energy. Lina welcomed the transformation, and the rush of adrenaline that came with it; it was one of the few things that still made sense to her, now that she was apparently trapped in this strange reality where the Sailor Senshi existed only in myth and fable, where people were expected to perform menial tasks for the necessary money with which to live, and where people stole software for no earthly reason other than to inconvenience the next person. Well, at least she could still do something about *that*. She felt the wind form ribbonlike waves across her, which snapped taut and formed her uniform. Her arms and legs briefly dazzled with light, then emerged clad in gloves and high-heeled pumps. She felt a tingling in her ears, followed by a slight downward pressure as a pair of black star earrings appeared there. Finally, her forehead was tickled by the formation of her tiara, as it spread itself around her cranium. When it finished, she was once again deposited in Century Media's shipping area. But she was no longer Lina Takashi, bewildered and reluctant stockperson. Now, she was Sailor Andromeda, Mistress of the Four Winds and defender of the innocent. And, by the Kami, she was going to make a certain common criminal *very* sorry he'd ever chosen her store to rob. --- By this time, Gary had stealthily maneuvered himself over to where he'd seen the suspicious-looking customer run to. He was keeping an eye on him, like a tiger ready to pounce on its prey, biding his time and waiting for just the right moment to strike. The only problem was that, so far, he hadn't yet actually *seen* him do anything illegal. Sure, he could probably guess that those blocky bulges just underneath his Steve Austin T-shirt were probably ill-gotten CD-ROMs, but unless he actually spotted him stuffing them down there, he had no legal grounds to do anything more than watch. And he was good, Gary had to give him that. Briefly, he had to wonder if he realized that he was being watched, as his actions certainly seemed to be indicitave of that. He never lingered over one particular title for too long, and always kept moving, always kept shifting his focus in an attempt to throw nosy sales clerks off the scent. thought Gary. Finally, it happened. The "customer" picked up a copy of Visual Studio, and reached into his pocket. Gary felt a surge of electric excitement run up and down his spine as he recognized the object he produced as a small knife. This was it! Gary jumped out from where he'd hidden himself, and clamped his hand around the would-be shoplifter's wrist just as he'd inserted the knife into the plastic-wrapped box. "Excuse me, Sir," he said, with no small amount of gloating in his voice, "but I think that's far enough, don't you?" Before the guilty party could even attempt to explain himself, a voice boomed out from nowhere in particular, yet seemed to come from all directions at once. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Gary groaned to himself. He knew that voice only too well. The scruffy man's eyes darted around furiously. "Who said that?", he demanded. "I did!" That time, the voice came from directly in front of him. Growling, he spun in that direction, only to be greeted by the unlikely presence of a teenaged girl wearing both an incredibly skimpy sailor suit and an indignant expression. "What the hell is this?", he muttered. "Halloween already?" "Stealing the hard work of others for your own personal gain - this will not be allowed! Summoned by the spirits of the Wind, I am the child of the skies, the pretty sailor-suited fighter for love and justice - Sailor Andromeda!" She stuck an accusing finger in his face. "Surrender yourself to the justice of the Four Winds!" Gary buried his face in his hands. "This isn't happening to me... PLEASE tell me this isn't happening to me...", he muttered. Andromeda spotted him, and winked. "Thanks for holding him, Gary - I'll take it from here, don't worry!" "That," Gary whimpered in a very small voice, "is what I was *afraid* of..." If Lina heard him, she didn't give any sign. Instead, she turned her full attention to the now-bewildered shoplifter. "Now then..." she began, approaching him menacingly, "are you gonna give those CDs up quietly, or am I gonna get to have some fun, hmm?" "Lady," he said, backing up against the narrow aisle, "you stay away from me! You've got me ALL wrong..." "You're right - I thought you were a decent human being. I see I was wrong. Now, you can take the consequences!" "You need help, lady!" "No - YOU do!" Andromeda raised her arms over her head with her palms turned skyward. "Uh-oh," Gary said. He'd seen that before. "Li -- er, Andromeda, no! DON'T DO THAT HERE!" "Spirit... Gale!!!" Too late. The resulting gust of wind blew the shoplifter literally through the stand that formed the aisle, and also clear through the back wall of the store. Software boxes, shelving debris, wood, sheetrock, and other assorted rubble flew madly about in the wake of the Spirit Gale. Even a few customers who had been milling about in the background, hoping to get a better glimpse of the action, were caught in the crossfire. One dove for cover as a random piece of aluminum shelving flew right at his head, while another found her new dress ruined by a cloud of sheetrock dust that hopelessly discolored the dark fabric. They were among the luckier ones; a few actually found themselves also blown through the new hole in the wall, or through the swinging doors that until now were the only access to the back room. Gary, for his part, did the only thing he could do. He hid in the relative safety of a display just *behind* Andromeda, so he wasn't caught up in the Spirit Gale... all the better to give her an appropriate tongue-lashing when all this was over. Finally, the winds subsided, and Andromeda relaxed her battle stance. Oblivious to the chaos she had just created, her eyes bore figurative holes right through the rather more literal one her attack had just created, in hopes of finding her quarry. She found him half-buried under a large chunk of wall - amazingly unhurt, but he was hardly in a position now to argue with her. Groaning, he pushed himself off the floor, causing the flimsy sheetrock remnant to slide off his back. "Sweet Mother Mary...", he mumbled, surveying both the damage and the woman that had caused it. "Give up?" Sailor Andromeda asked sternly. "Or do I have to get *really* mad?!" The formerly self-assured ex-shoplifter scrambled to his feet, occassionally slipping and sliding on the frictionless wallboard dust that carpeted the floor. As he stood up, he yanked his shirt out of his jeans, causing no less than a dozen CD cases to drop to the ground. "Here!" he shouted, panicked. "Take 'em! I don't want 'em anymore... just - just stay away from me!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" With that last primal scream of fear, he ran right out the front door of the store, never to return. Andromeda snorted. "Typical. When the going gets tough..." She stopped; she heard cheering. Whirling around, she found that nearly everybody in the store - customers and rogue employees alike - were giving her a rousing ovation. Startled, and just a bit embarassed by the attention, Lina took a slight bow. It seemed the appropriate thing to do. Then she happened to catch a look at her author's eyes... and Gary looked anything *but* pleased with things. Suddenly blindsided by an attack of self-consciousness, Andromeda took off to the back room, away from the public eye. Despite the hole in the wall, Lina's earlier hidey-hole remained isolated. She ducked back in between the cargo pallets, took several deep breaths, and touched the brooch on her uniform in a certain way. The sailor-fuku shimmered briefly, became pure light, and disappeared, leaving her back in the clothes she had been wearing when she transformed. Rather than rejoin the rest of the store, Lina simply waited in her little alcove. She knew that it was only a matter of time before... "I want to have a WORD with you, young lady!" "Oh, hi, Gary..." "Don't you 'Hi, Gary' me! What in God's name do you think you're doing?! Do you have ANY IDEA what you've just done?!" "Yeah - I stopped a shoplifter! Isn't that part of this so-called *job* you suckered me into?!" "That isn't the POINT --" "Gary! Lina!" Gary whirled around. Cyndi had poked her head through the hole in the wall, unsure if she should step through it. "There you are - are you OK?" Gary nodded. "I am - I, er, came back here to check if there was anybody hurt back here, and found her..." "I was back here getting some more stock, and next thing I know, all hell broke loose!" Lina added, helping Gary's story along. "I ran for the deepest cover I could find, and that was in with these --" Cyndi held up a dismissive hand. "I don't want to hear about it - anyway, you're both all right, and that's all that matters for now. But anyway, you'd better get out of there; I have a feeling Mark's gonna want to have some *words* with us for this, to say nothing of the cops he just called in..." With that, Cyndi turned back around to try and restore some kind of order to the store, which had descended into utter chaos. Gary waited until she was out of earshot, then turned back to face Lina. "You can't just do that Senshi thing *every* time something pisses you off like that - that's not how you do things in the real world!" Lina nodded. "I realize that now... even in my world, I was told that I couldn't use my powers except as a last resort. You wrote that, remember?" "Yeah, I did - so why'd you ignore that rule *this* time?!" "I let that guy slip completely through my radar... I was feeling so down on myself for letting it happen, that I didn't know what else I could do." Lina looked up into Gary's eyes. "It won't happen again, I promise..." Gary regarded her. "It better not... because if it does, both of us'll be out on the streets!" "You're not mad... are you?" Gary sighed. "I *was*... but, I dunno..." He regarded Lina. The girl he had created. The girl that represented, to him, the memory of someone who had meant the entire world to him. "...It's so hard to stay mad at you... so no, I'm not. THIS time." Lina smiled slightly. "Don't get me wrong," Gary added sternly. "If you ever - I mean EVER - pull a stunt like this again, as God is my witness, I will personally see to it that the disk containing your story suffers a little 'accident'! Understood?" "Only if YOU understand THIS," Lina replied, matching Gary's tone with a forceful one of her own. "Like I said this morning... I'm calling the shots around here. Like it or not, I am now officially your partner... and you'd better get used to having me around. You're not shaking me." Gary simply gaped at her. "As long as we're clear on that..." Lina's expression brightened again, and she playfully slapped Gary on the back as she stepped out of the alcove. "C'mon, let's get back to work - I have a feeling we're gonna have a *lot* of explaining to do..." Gary followed her to the hole in the wall, and stared after her until she was swallowed up by a throng of people on the other side. Once he could no longer see her, he looked down at his shoes and shook his head from side to side. "Please tell me that this'll all be over soon," he mused aloud. "Just give me some sort of sign that this'll all be over soon..." Another chunk of wall, hanging precariously by its glue-paper over the hole, suddenly snapped off and landed on his head, giving him an unexpected chalky shampoo. Gary sighed. "That's what I was afraid of." --- End of Episode 102. Author's Notes: First of all, I must thank you all for your extreme patience with this chapter. It's been a long time in coming, I realize that, and I've no doubt made people wonder if I somehow abandoned this story. Let me assure you that *nothing* could be further from the truth. Quite the contrary; I feel even more strongly about this fanfic than I ever have about anything else I've ever written. The reason for the delay is because I did not want to release anything that I wasn't 100% satisfied with, and that kind of kept me away from the "upload" button for a while. I didn't want this series to represent anything other than the best I could give you. I've *got* to start setting deadlines for myself. 8^P Anyway, some acknowledgements... First, LeVar Bouyer, whose "Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Orion" epic inspired me to try my own hand at a lengthy series. (If you haven't already noticed, Lina bears a passing physical resemblence to the main character of that series, Jennifer Sakachi. Even the names "Sakachi" and "Takashi" are similar.) Also, Daniel "NefCanuck" Amsler, who has kept me psyched about writing and kept me going even when I felt I could write no more. That goes for all the regulars on the Undernet's #fanfics channel as well - SenCorvus, Kionon, Anikun, CAriza, and all the others. Special thanks go to AmiSans, for being there when I needed cheering up the most. Next time, Lina goes on a date with a co-worker... and ends up in a very hot situation. And no, I don't mean "lemon" kind of hot either! See you then... And yes, I *will* try to get it released before the Milennium. 8^) - Devin de Gruyl 26 September 1999