BaRkInG sNoUt
by DARK DAY FOR ANIME

4. GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER

	Hotaru stirred the pot, happily, as Setsuna, Haruka and 
Michiru looked one.

	"She seems so much brighter, these days.  I'm glad she's 
finally started taking her Prozac."  Michiru smiled, sweatbeads 
running down the foreheads of her compatriots.

	"Yes, well, she really seems to be into this cooking thing.  
I'm glad I suggested it."  Setsuna smiled and walked out of the
kitchen as Haruka leaned over to Michiru.

	"Her old man is coming over, isn't he?"
	"Uh-huh."  Michiru nodded.
	"I hear he's still having side-effects of the possession."
	"Uh-huh."  Michiru nodded.
	"Doesn't it concern you?"
	"Uh-uh."  Michiru shook her head.

	Haruka looked at Michiru for a few moments.  "Still having 
problems opening your jaw, I see."
	"Uh-huh."  Michiru nodded.
	"Look, I'm sorry, but for a moment there, you REALLY did look
like David Letterman."  Michiru scowled at Haruka.  "Hey, take it 
easy.  It was a dream, okay?  Its not my fault you spiked my drink 
in the hope of getting me into the sack a lot quicker..."

	THUMP!

	"Owie!"


	Professor Tomoe stared through his telescope at Setsuna's 
house.  "Ah, do you see it, Kaorinaitu-kun.  The home of the enemy."  
He grinned like a banana as a red-headed woman in a red minidress 
scratched her nose.

	"I wonder if I'm missing the red dress sale."  She wondered to 
herself, then sparked up.  "Is that so?  The home of the enemy?"
	"Indeed, but it is so far away."
	"But it looks closer through the telescope, doesn't it?"
	"Indeed."
	"So lets get there by crawling through the telescope."
	"Aha, a brilliant plan."

	Two minutes later, after squeezing their way through the 
telescope, Professor Tomoe and Kaorinite stood outside the front 
door of Setsuna's residence.  The Professor laughed maniacally.

	"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  Cough cough!  "Now, Sailorsenshi, 
face the wrath of TOMOE!"  He pressed the doorbell, which played the 
Dr Who theme.

	The door opened with an audible creak.  Two dark eyes met the 
evil duo.  "YoU rAnG?"  Asked Setsuna.

	"Indeed, Setsuna.  I am here to KILL YOU ALL!  I mean, eat 
dinner."
	"I sEe, WeLl, YoU bEtTeR cOmE iN tHeN...."  Setsuna opened the 
door and saw Kaorinite standing behind the Professor.

	"AnD wHo MiGhT tHiS bE?"
	"Ah, just a lady friend."

	Setsuna eyed both the Professor and Kaorinite.  Large 
sweatdrops appeared on their foreheads.  "I sEe."  She turned and 
walked into the house.  The Professor looked through the doorway 
into the front hall, which was roughly the size of the Cistine 
Chapel.

	"Jeez, its bigger on the inside."  He pushed his glasses up 
his nose and rubbed his chin.  "One of these days, I'm going to have 
to grow a beard and psychologically abuse my son named Shinji."  He 
and Kaorinite entered the house.


	Everyone was sitting at the table.

	Haruka and Michiru stared at Kaorinite, who was staring back.
	"Don't we know you?"  Haruka growled threateningly.
	"No."
	"Oh, that's alright then."  Haruka turned to Hotaru, who was 
bringing a large soup pot into the dining room.  "Hmm, that smells 
delicious, Hotaru-chan.  What is it?"
	"Sailorjupiter and Leek soup."
	"Mmm-mmm.  Now doesn't that just sound mouth-watering."  
Haruka smiled.  "I take it you still have some Sailorjupiter left in 
the fridge?"
	"Yeah, but its so tough.  Not much good for anything other 
than soup stock."
	"What's for the main course?"  Michiru licked her lips.
	"A real treat this time.  Leg of Sailormars in a Buttered 
Usagi sauce.  Followed by Artemis and Custard for dessert."

	Kaorinite looked from Hotaru to Haruka, to Michiru, to Setsuna 
and back.  "You mean....  You're eating your comrades?"
	"Shit, yeah."  Haruka smiled sweetly.  "They were such a pain 
in the neck, we had to do something with them."

	Kaorinite put a hand over her mouth, looking rather pale.  
"May I use your bathroom for a few moments?"  She turned to Setsuna, 
who nodded and smiled.

	"Yes, just through the doorway there, down the passageway for 
a couple of miles, and its the 3000th door on the left.  You can't 
miss it."

	Kaorinite ran from the dining room, making some glurping 
noises.  Haruka shook her head.  "That's the problem with our 
enemies.  Just no staying power."


	Hotaru placed the soup pot on the table and was about to ladle 
its contents into everyones' bowls when she suddenly clutched at her 
chest and croaked.

	"Oh no!  Scragged by Total Allergy Syndrome."  She fell to the 
floor.  Professor Tomoe jumped to his feet.

	"My daughter!  You killed my daughter!"
	"No we didn't."
	"Yes you did."
	"Oooooooh no we didn't!"
	"Oooooooh yes you did!"

	The Professor crackled with energy.  "Now, in the name of 
Pharaoh 90, you must DIE!"  Setsuna flicked his off switch, and he 
stood like a waxwork dummy.

	"Jeez, how easy it is to scrag these Autons.  It was 
masquerading as the good Professor."  Setsuna turned to Haruka and 
Michiru, who had picked up Hotaru and were trying to slap her round.  
"Is she dead?"

	"Nah, just resting."

	"Good.  Put her to bed.  And watch out for her lamp 
collection.  It was bloody well near the ceiling the last time I 
looked."


^_^
DDFA ayanami@merlin.net.au
29th Jan 1998