CWF RAW WEEK #39 RATING: TV-14 DVL E-MAIL: darkpowrjd@aol.com DISCLAIMER: You know THIS one! ______________________________________________________ ANNOUNCERS: Jim Ross Jerry "The King" Lawler King Kai BACKSTAGE: Lucas (from WWF.com) Kevin Kelly Michael Cole The New Guy RING ANN.: Lillian Garcia PLACE: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA WEB SITE: http://officialcwf.cjb.net ______________________________________________________ Before the RAW opening starts... BG: G-TV! G-TV! G-TV! G-TV!!! Chichi is seen on a pay phone. CHICHI: Listen, I'm sorry about what I said...and what I've done.........I know you can't forvgive me about Thursday. I'm out of place here................But Goku, I still love you and the children........I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about Beryl - hey! I got an idea!...............I've got that situation covered. She's gonna put the title up tonight...........I'll make her........You'll see. I promise I'm gonna make it up to you.........Just trust me on this one, okay?.....Love you. She hangs up the phone. She digs around in her purse, and finds a roll of quarters. She smiles, and walks off-camera. G-TV ends... [begin RAW opening] SINGER:..................IT'S THE LIGHT IN THE BOX AND IT DRAWS TO ME! TAKIN' CHARGE, IN THE ARMS IT'S THE SOUL OF ME! YOU WANT FIRE, ASK, YOU'LL SEE ME TEAR THE PLACE DOWN!!!.......................................................RAW IS WAR, IT'S ON, YOU SHOULD HIDE!!!!! [end RAW intro The pyros go off, and the sold out crowd of about 25,000 is on their feet, cheering! If one will look closely, you'll notice that a majority of the signs are for their hometown hero, Ash Ketchum-Sonn! (e.g. ASH 3:16, NEW ORLEANS LOVES ASH, WELCOME HOME ASH, etc...) JR: WE ARE SOLD OUT HERE IN NEW ORLEANS! THE JAM-PACKED CROWD IS READY FOR RAW IS WAR! HELLO AGAIN EVERYONE, I AM JIM ROSS ALONGSIDE JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER, AND CWF HALL OF FAMER KING KAI! LAST THRUSDAY ON SMACK DOWN, STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN ACCEPTED A NEGAMATCH FOR THE CWF TITLE! KAI: AND HE DID IN SHTYLE, JR, HE TOOK A WRECKING BWALL TO BWERYL'SH HOME! AND I UNDERSTAND SHE'SH IRATE! Beryl's music starts, and she enters, clinging to the CWF title belt like there's no tomorrow. KING: All I have to say is that whatever SHE does tonight is UNDERSTANDABLE in MY view, JR! How would YOU like it if someone came by with a wrecking ball and smashed YOUR home? Beryl's in the ring, with a mic. JR: Wouldn't like it one bit. KING: PRECISELY! CROWD: ASSHOLE...ASSHOLE...ASSHOLE...ASSHOLE... KING: AAAH! JR: These people, telling Beryl EXACTLY what they think of her. KING: Will you PLEASE shut up and respect the QUEEN!! BERYL: LIKEWISE! They boo. KING: What I TELL ya?! BERYL: NOW LAST THURSDAY IN PHILADELPHIA, A TRAVESTY WAS COMMITTED! MY HOME, THE NEGAVERSE, WAS DESTROYED BY THAT MANIAC STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! They cheer at that. KING: OH, DON'T REMIND ME! BERYL: NOW NEEDLESS TO SAY, THAT ASIDE FROM JOHN LeCLAIR WANTING TO KICK MY ASS, THAT WAS A VERY WICKED, AND VISCIOUS THING TO DO! JR: Indeed. BERYL: BUT IT'S TIME FOR ME TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW WICKED I CAN BE! AND I'M SENDING THAT MESSAGE TO EVERYONE IN THE CWF THAT WANTS THIS TITLE! They start booing Beryl, mainly because they're sick of looking at her. BERYL: TRIPLE H, THE ROCK, RYO, ANGLE, EDGE, CHRISTIAN, ANEUBIS, WHOEVER THE HELL WANTS, ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY'RE BAD ENOUGH...SHUT THE HELL UP! KING: WOW!! KAI: THAT'SH NOT NICE! BERYL: WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE GO BACK FROM THE SWAMP THAT YOU CRAWLED OUT OF! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU! The crowd is cheering. JR: I don't get what's up with these people in New Orleans! KING: What do you MEAN, JR? LISTEN TO THESE CHANTS! CROWD: WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! WE WANT ASH! Various shots of the crowd holding up banners, posters, signs, collages, and a portrait of Ash Ketchum. KAI: THAT'SH WHAT THEY WANT! THEY'RE HOMETOWN HERO, ASH! BERYL: OH PLEASE! THAT BRAT DOESN'T DESERVE (flashing the belt) THIS! KING: UH OH!! JR: HE MOST CERTAINLY DOES! KING: HOW DO YOU FIGURE, JR?! BERYL: HE SHOULD BE AT HOME ASLEEP! IT'S PAST HIS BEDTIME ANYWAY, DONT YOU - NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? HE SHOULDN'T BE LIVING WITH THE SONN FAMILY! HE SHOULD BE IN SOME ORPHANAGE SOMEWHERE OR OUT ON THE STREETS ROOTING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE CANS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT! BECAUSE HE IS GARBAGE!!! The crowd boos at Beryl. KING: WOAH!!! JR: THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING! HOW CAN SHE SAY THAT! KAI: MAKE ME SHICK, WHY DON'T YA? BERYL: HE HAD HIS SHOT AT HAVING A FAMILY, AND HE BLEW IT! HE - ???: ExCUSE ME?! Chichi appears on stage. She gets a mixed reaction. KING: WHAT?! CHICHI: LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE, BUT YOU'RE STEPPING OVER THE LINE, BITCH! The crowd stands up and cheers loudly. KAI: HUH?! KING: BUT WHAT ABOUT - CHICHI: Now now, I know what you're all thinking, isn't she hooking up with Beryl, did she kick Goku to the curb, yadda yadda yadda... KING: I know I am! CHICHI: But I see it like this: I was experimenting, yeah, I'll admit.......hey come on ladies, you've had to have tried it at least ONCE in your lives. A mostly female reaction cheers in approval. KING: HA!! CHICHI: And as far as I'm concerned, the experiment...BOMBED! BIG TIME! The crowd cheers again. JR: DOES THIS MEAN THAT CHICHI IS REMAINING FAITHFUL TO GOKU? KAI: I GUESH! BERYL: OH COME HON, YOU KNOW YOU - Chichi puts up her hand, much in the same fashion of the Rock. KING: HAAA HA HA! TALK TO THE HAND! CHICHI: NOW GRANTED I DIDN'T SPEND NINE MONTHS CARRYING AROUND ASH INSIDE OF ME, BUT I STILL ACCEPT HIM AS MY SON AND PART OF MY FAMILY! AND I LOVE HIM AS SUCH! AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT ME OR MY FAMILY LIKE THE WAY YOU JUST DID! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW? I AM GOING IN THE BACK IN THE LOCKER ROOM, AND I'M GONNA FIND THE PERFECT OPPONENT TO BEAT YOUR ASS AND TAKE THAT TITLE FROM YOU! BECAUSE YOU, SISTER, ARE GETTING ON OUR GOD DAMN NERVES! JR: OH YEAH! CHICHI: IT'S LIKE THIS, BITCH, YOUR REIGN GOES DOWN...THE NEGAVERSE GOES DOWN...AND YOU GO DOWN! RIGHT ------- HERE, RIGHT ------ NOW!!! KING: I WANNA KNOW, JR! WHO'S SHE GONNA PICK TO FIGHT BERYL?! CHICHI: OH, AND BY THE WAY...DID I SAY THREE *INCHES*? TRY THREE *FEET*!!! Every female in the audience cheers wildly. KING: WHAAAAAT?! KAI: MORE INFORMATION THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW! The First Family theme starts, and she drops the mic and leaves. JR: BERYL IS GOING TO DEFEND HER TITLE HERE TONIGHT! BUT AGAINST WHO? KING: EVEN WORSE, CHICHI'S GONNA DECIDE FOR HER! JR: DON'T YOU DARE MISS A MINUTE OF IT! Switch to the back, where Edge and Christian are walking though the backstage area. They come across a piece of paper that reads what the matches are. EDGE: Hey, look at THIS. Later tonight, Alan and Ann in non-title action, against Al Snow and Steve Blackman. CHRISTIAN: Oh MAN, is THAT ever gonna suck ass. EDGE: Hey, let's spice things up in that match a little bit. CHRISTIAN: Yeah. I know that those two Cardians LOVED when WE spiced up their match Last Thursday night. EDGE: Let's DO it. JR: Spice things up?! KAI: Are they coming out HERE?! KING: ALL RIGHT!! JR: That match is later tonight, and I think that Edge and Christian want to be a part of that match. Switch to the back, where the Big Show and Darkpower are together. SHOW: Okay, DP, what do you think of this TONIGHT?! DP all of a sudden gets the most shocked face EVER. DP: OH MY GOD!! Big Show, you're not serious. SHOW: I AM serious!! DP: [trying to help not laugh] WHATEVER floats your BOAT, man!! SHOW: Here I come. KING: What in the WORLD?! JR: I shudder to THINK of what the Big Show is going to come out as this week. Switch to still ANOTHER part in the back, where it shows STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN coming out. KING: OH NO!! JR: Stone Cold's HERE!!! KAI: And he'sh not gonna bwe letting up for ANYTHING. KING: He's a perpretrator JR: We'll be right back. [start CWF promo] Scene is in a house in a hallway, where painters are paining the end of the hall. Talpa comes into the hall, so big that his arms are rubbing against the walls. TALPA: You know, alot of people think that it's hard being Talpa [you see his arms knock down a few paintings. He then comes out of the hall, head breaking part of the upper frame of the hallway entrance]. But I tell you, it has it's advantages. Switch to outside at a playground, where we have Talpa's face close up, him going up and down. TALPA: It's fun playing with the kids. [zoom out to see that five kids are on one end of the see-saw, and Talpa is on the other end, with the see-saw going up and down]. Switch into the night at a street corner, where Talpa is hailing a cab. TALPA: Hailing a cab is a SNAP. [Cab stops, and he tries to open the door, only to have the back door break off of the hindges, Talpa holding on only by the handle] Switch to Talpa at a kitchen table, with a can and bowl of Chef Boyardee in front of him. TALPA: [holding a forkful of the food] But most of all, I always have room for my FAVORITE meal. Chef Boyardee overstuffed Italian Sausage Ravioli. Switch to the close up of the can of the Ravioli, with Talpa eating some of the Ravioli it in the background. ANN.: Chef Boyardee overstuffed ravioli definitly lets you Feed The Need. In the background, you see the chair all of a sudden break from under Talpa, and he falls flat onto the floor on his ass. [end CWF promo] They then go to a break, then come back. BG: GODFATHER'S IN DA HOUSE.....ROUND UP YOU BIATCH ASS!! Godfather comes out to the ring, equipped with 10...uh, 5 hoes. KAI: ALL RIGHT!! JR: The Godfather is on the move, and everyone is getting on their feet, as the Godfather, the European Champion, will be up against Casto here, and something tells me that this is gonna be pretty interesting to see. KING: I BET!! KAI: That would bwe after last Sunday at Bwacklash, when Cashto kicked Shailor Pluto to the curbw BWIG TIME!! JR: And Sailor Pluto is here tonight in New Orleans. I'm still in shock at Chichi, going to pick her pick for Beryl here tonight on RAW for the CWF Title. KING: Okay, Kai, you know Chichi WAY more than I do. Do you think that we can TRUST Chichi here?! KAI: That'sh a queshtion that I hope can bwe anshwered bwy a YESH!! JR: The Godfather is in the ring, and...uh oh!! GODFATHER: IT'S TIME, ONCE AGAIN, FOR EVERYONE TO GET ABOARD THE....HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRAIN!! Crowd cheers. GODFATHER: NOW, I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE HERE!! ARE THERE ANY PIMPS UP, IN, THIS, HAAAUUUUUSSSSSSSEEE!! Crowd cheers. GODFATHER: NOW, TO ALL OF YOU THAT KNOW, THAT THE GODFATHER BE PIMPIN' HOES... CROWD: NATIONWIDE... GODFATHER: DON'T HIDE IT!! LIGHT THAT BLUNT UP AND SAY... CROWD: PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY!! Casto's music starts, and he comes out with Starheart. JR: We'll see how easy that he can get rid of Casto here. KING: I don't know, JR. I mean, this is going to be a heck of a match, but I'm wondering if Starheart is going to play a factor in this matchup. KAI: I certanly do HOPE not. GODFATHER: Now, Casto, I know that you like hoes, because if you didn't, you wouldn't be hanging around the nastiest, stankiest, bottom- feeding, two bit WHORE that you have THERE in Starheart. Crowd cheers loudly. JR: My GOD!! KING: THAT made Casto angry. GODFATHER: But you know, I think that because you went and did what you did, to that sweet, innocent ho, Pluto, you would be riding on the HO TRAIN, but on the CABOOSE!! JR: GOOD LORD!! KING: Look at Casto. KAI: He'sh HOT here. JR: And Casto suddenly jumps onto Godfather, and the match is underway here, as Godfather now, goes to the corner, and Casto now, with stomps to the stomach of the Godfather, but GODFATHER REVERSES IT, AND NOW THE ASSULT STARTS ON CASTO!! KING: I know that Casto's gonna make the Godfather pay for saying that about Starheart. JR: Well, he WAS doing that, but the Godfather is now in control of the match here. To the TUURNBUCKLE GOES CASTO hard, and..uh oh. KAI: CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA!!! KING: THE HO TRAIN...OH WAIT!! JR: Casto got out of the ring just in the nick of time, and they are coming out here. Godfather, gets Casto, and...DOWN ON THE TABLE HERE GOES CASTO'S HEAD...irish whip, no, REVERSAL, AND GODFATHER JUST GOT A TASTE OF THAT STEEL BARRICADE WITH HIS BACK!! KING: THAT'll teach him a thing or two. KAI: I wouldn't doubwt it at ALL. JR: Casto, now, going to work on the Godfather, and now back into the ring goes the CWF European Champion. KING: I think that Casto is doing a good job here, don't you think? KAI: Actually, I have to AGREE with the King on THAT one. I'm shurprished that cashto ish shtanding on hish OWN here in thish match tonight. JR: But this is still a little early into the match, so anything can happen, and CASTO MADE A MISTAKE THERE, AND PAYED FOR IT!! GODFATHER WITH A SUPURB DDT RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, TWO, AND A KICKOUT AFTER TWO!! KAI: Bwut I think that if Cashto continuesh to hold hish own here, he hash a hell of a chance in thish bushinessh. JR: Later tonight, the CWF Title is on the line, but who will it be against? Who will Chichi pick for Beryl's opponent TONIGHT? KAI: I got thish dishtinct feeling that it'll bwe Shtone Cold Shteve Aushtin TONIGHT. She may not want him to WAIT till Judgement Day. KING: Oh don't SAY that, Kai. Don't give Chichi THAT idea. JR: Well, it's an idea... KING: Shut up, JR!! JR: Godfather and Casto, going back and forth, exchanging blows, and Casto gets a gut shot in, and now going to try for a vertical suplex, but Godfather, blocking it here, and...DOWN HE GOES!! GODFATHER REVERSES THE SUPLEX!! KAI: Godfather and Cashto are going neck and neck here all of a shudden. JR: A great match here tonight. Casto now, in a world of hurt, and Godfather, getting him back up, and...LOW BLOW, REFEREE TEDDY LONG DIDN'T SEE THAT!! Casto, in a desperate attempt, got that low blow right where the referee couldn't see it, and now Casto, getting back to this, with elbow shots to the back, and...FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX, TWO, KICKOUT AFTER TWO!! What a match this has been here tonight. KING: And Casto is going to the top rope. JR: Casto is going to fly...BIG RTIME MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP ROPE, TWO, AND ANOTHER KICKOUT!! KAI: Cashto ish moving in for the KILL here. KING: UH OH, JR. Look who's up on the stage there. JR: That's the FORMER European Champion, Nephlite. What the hell does he want out HERE?! KAI: It wash the Godfather that took the title away from him, so it might bwe Nephlite who wantsh it bwack from the Godfather. JR: And I think that that is what Nephlite is after, because he is going towards the ring. KING: Not very smart by Nephlite. JR: I don't think so, and now Casto is going to finish the Godfather, and I don't know if he's seen Nephlite yet or not, and NEPHLITE IS DISTRACTING THE REF, AND THE GODFATHER HAS THE EUROPEAN TITLE, AND...CRACKS CASTO'S SKULL WITH THAT TITLE BELT, AND THAT WILL BE ALL, AS TEDDY LONG COUNTS DOWN CASTO, THREE, THIS THING IS OVER!! You're winner is the Godfather. KING: I thought that he was coming out to help CASTO, JR. JR: I thought so, as WELL...wait a minute. KAI: We're gonna find OUT who he'sh out here for. NEPHLITE: Hey, Godfather, you OWE me on THIS one. KING: I KNEW IT!! NEPHLITE: I want your....HOES!! JR: WAIT A MINUTE!! KAI: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TITLE?! GODFATHER: Man, I tell you what. If you and I work as a pair of pimps who's job is to make sure the PIMPIN AIN'T EASY...[crowd cheers], you can have EVERY SINGLE HO THAT I HAVE OUT THERE!! KING: ALL RIGHT!! NEPHILITE: MAN, NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE A DEAL, WE HAVE A MUTURAL BOND NOW!! He and the Godfather goes off with the hoes. KING: LOOKATTHIS!! KAI: OH LUCKY HIM!! JR: NEPHLITE AND THE GODFATHER, TAKING ON THE PIMP ROLE, AND THERE GOES THE HOES WITH THEM!! KING: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! Switch to the back, where Darkpower and Ari are talking backstage. DP:...Oh, did I tell you what the Big Show is going to BE this week? ARI: Nope. Who? DP whispers something in Ari's ear. Suddendly, Ari gets the biggest shock ever on his face. ARI: YOU'RE KIDDING ME!! HE ISN'T GOING TO... DP: That is RIGHT. He's going to be that. ARI: My GOD!! What the hell is he SMOKING TONIGHT?! DP: Don't know, but I'm staying the hell AWAY from it, if you ask ME. JR: I shudder to think of who The Big Show wants to be THIS week. KING: We'll find out sometime TONIGHT what's going to happen. Switch to another part of the back, where the Devil Couple are coming out to the ring. JR: OH NO!! KAI: Even when they AREN'T going for the title, we can't get away from their mouthsh. JR: Serena, Darien, and they have Misty with them, and something tells me that this is NOT going to be pretty. They are coming out here. We'll be right back. [start CWF Promo] Setting is in an apartment. Ash is seated in an armchair, watching TV. ASH: (calling out to the kitchen) Hey, can you grab me a Surge? The view is in the refrigerator. The door opens, and there is only one can of Surge left. Gohan reaches in and grabs it. He shuts it, and comes out to the living room. GOHAN: Sorry, there's only one left. ASH: (kicking his shoes off) Awww, that's too bad. He gets up, and he starts walking around Gohan in a VERY tight circle, as a Spanish cha-cha plays, shuffling his sock-clad feet along the carpet. Gohan just looks at him. GOHAN: Are you finished? ASH: (stopping) Yes I am. In one quick motion, he grabs the last can, and touches Gohan with one finger. The static electricity Ash built up SENDS GOHAN RIGHT THROUGH A WALL! There is nothing left except a silhouette of Gohan in the wall with smoke pouring out it. ANN.: SURGE! LIFE'S A SCREAM! The last scene is Gohan sprawled out in the arm chair, some smoke still pouring off him, and his hair is in a giant ball. ASH: (holding a light bulb by Gohan's hair) I've...got an idea! [end CWF promo] They then go to a break, then come back. [start CWF promo] Scene opens up at the Smack Down Hotel, where the Rock is walking in. As he enters, Ash gives some poor guy the Ashes to Ashes on the hood of a car. ROCK: (to Bellboy) Shine this up real nice, jabroni. BELLBOY: And I know JUST WHERE TO STICK IT, ROCK! He then slides a copy of the game to the girl at the hotel check-in. ROCK: What's your name? GIRL: It doesn't matter what my name is. As he walks away, Reenie hits some tourist over the head with a mirror. Then, the Rock pokes his head into the kitchen. ROCK: The Rock smells what YOU'RE cookin'! Ryo of Wildfire is seen lighting the stove - like only he can - while the chef his showing off his latest concoccion. CHEF: Panckaes, Rock! PANCAKES! Then, he gets hit in the head with a trash can. Show clips of the game. ANN.: LAY THE SMACK DOWN IN THE KITCHEN, THE BOILER ROOM, OR EVEN THE PARKING LOT! OVER 60 OF YOUR FAVORITE CWF SUPERSTARS, AND TONS OF DIFFERENT MODES! EVERYTHING IN THE RING, AND ALMOST ANYTHING OUT! CWF SMACKDOWN, ONLY FOR THE PLAYSTATION! Final scene: Rock is seated in a lawn chair. After the waiter gives him a drink, Gohan delivers a spinning heel kick to him, sending both of them into the pool. ROCK: (as Gohan attacks the waiter) Finally, the Rock has come back to Playstation! ANN.: PLAYSTATION! [end CWF promo] BG: YOU READY FOR TRUE DEVILS....WE WENT TO HELL....AND LOVED IT!! The Devil Family comes out to the ring. JR: Here we go. KING: I have no idea why they are out here, but tonight, I know that RAW IS WAR is brought to you by priceline.com. If saving money is wrong, we don't want to be RIGHT. Save money on airline fares and more. JR: And by the only oil that provides maximum protection. Castroil GTX!! Drive HARD. KAI: And bwy Chef Bwoyardee Overshtuffed Italian Shaugage Ravioli. Makesh me hungry ALREADY. Feed the need. JR: I don't know what they want out here tonight, but whatever it IS, it cannot be GOOD. SERENA: First of all, you better SHUT THE HELL UP!! Crowd boos viciously. SERENA: Now, first of all, to Queen Beryl... Crowd boos even MORE. SERENA: Chichi, you're looking for someone to go against Beryl TONIGHT, but I suggest that whoever it is LOSE, because my dog, TM, is gonna kick the ass of the CWF Champion, and get that title for HIMSELF. JR: UH OH!! SERENA: And Beryl, Darien doesn't like ANYONE, so even though you re so much hated by these IDIOTS out here, Mask hates them even MORE, so... CROWD: SERENA'S A P*SSY, SERENA'S A P*SSY, SERENA'S A P*SSY,... KAI: UH OH!! KING: WHAT POTTY MOUTHS!! THESE NEW ORLEANS!! JR: WELL, I rather not repeat what they are SAYING, but I don't think that she LIKES what they are calling her. KING: DUH, JR!! SERENA: Yeah, like you pieces of CRAP can't come up here and fill MY shoes. Crowd boos. SERENA: So Beryl, you BETTER beware of Tuxedo Mask, as well. But onto TONIGHT. Tuxedo, I think that the both of us want to say something about the future of the... All of a sudden, Misty says that she wants the mic first. SERENA: What is it, hon? You want the mic. Okay, my child... JR: UH OH!! SERENA: Here you go. [hands the mic to Misty] MISTY: Thanks...MOTHER...[crowd boos relentlessly] JR: GOOD LORD!! KAI: My GOD!! KING: Well, they are the Devil FAMILY, so I guess that Misty is the Devil DAUGHTER!! MISTY: Now, to Chibi USA. BITCH, you actually think that you are the daughter of US?! Yeah RIGHT!! You're no daughter of ANYONE. And I know that if she actually had you as a daughter, she would sign the disowning papers like they were a STORY!! JR: My God, what a heinous thing to say. KING: Well, that's MISTY, JR!! MISTY: Now, Chibi, you think that you are going to try to get me HUMILIATED? Well, I WILL say that you succedded in SCREWING me out of the Intercontinental Title to Tazz last Monday... JR: UH OH!! KING: That IS true, JR. MISTY: But tonight, I am going.... All of a sudden, the Dudley Boyz's music starts, and they come out to the ring. JR: Wait a minute. KING: That's the Dudleys. What are THEY doing out here. KAI: I guessh they are shick of hearng them more than WE are. JR: Likewise. D-VON: WE'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU THREE, WHINE, CRY, AND BITCH ABOUT THIS AND THAT, AND WE WANT TO SAY RIGHT NOW...TO SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!! [crowd cheers] WE'RE SICK OF HEARING YOU!! YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT WINNING MATCHES!! HOW ABOUT TRYING TO WIN A MATCH AGAINST THE DUDLEYS HERE TONIGHT!! JR: THERE is an idea. KING: OH NO!! And we ALL know what the Dudleys LOVE to do. SERENA: You know something. I think that that is so GREAT that you want to have a match. So guess what. YOU'RE on tonight. You and us. And WE'LL be the ones who put YOU though a table here tonight. D-VON: VERY WELL!! OH, AND MAYBE WE'LL COOK UP SOME IDEA ABOUT THAT TABLE THING...LATER!! Dudleys' music plays. JR: Later on tonight, the Dudley Boyz versus the Devil Couple, and I don't think that the Devil Couple was too wise to accept this match from the Dudleys, King. KING: I don't know about that, but I don't think that the Devil Couple could put the Dudleys though a table. I'm a little worried about this match MYSELF... Switch to the back, where GK and Jupiter are talking alone. DP: [off-camera] HEY, GK, Jupiter, look at the Big Show TONIGHT. They look towards the place where DP is off-camera. They suddenly get a totally shocked and frightened look on their face. GK: OH JESUS, MAN!! The hell is THAT?! JUPITER: You SURE that that man didn't get into your secret beer stash and got drunk? GK: I better go check it just to make SURE!! JR: Not a lot of things surprise Green Knight, much less Sailor Jupiter, so whatever the Big Show is going to come out here with, it's going to be something ELSE!! The Big Show is NEXT!! They go to a break, then come back. Sailor Venus' music starts, and out she comes. JR: Welcome back to RAW, and Sailor Venus will face whatever the hell the Big Show is going to be, King. KING: Don't ask ME. I don't WANT to know. KAI: We have no choice BWUT to know in a few here. JR: Well, whatever the Big Show is going to do here tonight, this is the first time that Sailor Venus will be in the ring in a VERY long time. KING: RIGHT, and what a way to be COMING back. Up against The Big SHOW!! KAI: Or whoEVER the Big Show is gonna BWE!! JR: I shudder to THINK of what he has planned. A wierd mix of the Sailor Moon theme and Big Show theme starts up. JR: Wait a MINUTE!! KING: Oh you HAVE to be... Out comes The Big Show...WITH A SAILOR FUKU ON (GOOD GOD ALL MIGHTY), just his size (no comment). JR: OH MY...!! KAI: WHAT THE...?! KING: I'm SPEECHLESS, JR!! The heck is THAT!! GARCIA: And, also from Tokyo, Japan, weight unknown, Sailor Show. JR: SAILOR SHOW!! KING: [laughing] We said the Big Show has an A to Z personallity. If this isn't the furthest of the A part, then I don't know WHAT is. KAI: [also laughing] King, thish goesh BWEYOND that. JR: Well, I don't THINK that the Sailors are looking for a new Sailor, but I guess...well.. KING: Don't worry, JR. I don't know what to say about THIS!! KAI: Only Shailor Shenshi which doeshn't have any PUPPIESH!! KING: Even SCARIER!! VENUS: Umm...I'm scared to ASK as to...what the HELL is all of THIS?! SHOW: Well, Sailor Show here, and in the name of show, I will BEAT YOU!! Crowd laughs. JR: Oh my GOODNESS!! KING: [laughing] JR, I don't know if Venus like this or NOT. VENUS: Well, I can certanily see that you got the right size FUKU!! And you certanily do TRY!! SHOW: Hey, I'll strike you with a Show Septor. JR: [laughing] What the...?! VENUS: Well, Show, no offense, but I don't think that we have any POSITIONS open for new Sailors. But, seeing...well, I can't really IMAGINE you BEING...well, I COULD imagine you being one NOW. You're in FRONT of me. But, this thing...well, not saying that YOU are one, but it...make you look like...well...a...RETARD!! JR: UH OH!! KING: I don't think that you want to do THIS, Venus. VENUS: Don't get me wrong, but you look RIDICULOUS in that damn thing. And you SOUND like a retard, as well.. All of a sudden, Show hits her with a VERY hard right, and she flies and hits face first on the canvas. JR: UH OH!! SHE'S JUST MAKE THE BIG SHOW ANGRY, AND I THINK THAT SHE'S GOING TO PAY FOR IT, AS THE BIG SHOW IS TEARING SAILOR VENUS APART HERE!! KAI: EVEN I KNEW NOT TO ANGER THE BIG SHOW LIKE THAT!! JR: I don't think that that was Venus's INTENTIONS, but she did it notherless, and...UH OH!! CHOKE SLAM, COMING UP...DOWN SHE GOES!! 1.....2.....3!! It's over. BG: Well, it's the BIG SHOW!! GARCIA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, the Big Show. KING: I guess that's the Z personallity. KAI: And that was the one that Venus just FELT. JR: I didn't know that the Big Show could FIGHT like that in that thing. Switch to the back, where the Devil Couple's coming out for their match. JR: Coming up next, it'll be the Devil Couple up against the Dudley Boyz, and I think that I wouldn't mind EITHER of them being put though TABLES. KING: Oh listen to YOU!! KAI: Me EITHER!! JR: That is NEXT!! ______________________________________________________ CWF WAR ZONE WEEK #39 RATING: TV-14 DVL E-MAIL: darkpowrjd@aol.com DISCLAIMER: You know THIS one! ______________________________________________________ ANNOUNCERS: Jim Ross Jerry "The King" Lawler King Kai BACKSTAGE: Lucas (from WWF.com) Kevin Kelly Michael Cole The New Guy RING ANN.: Lillian Garcia PLACE: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA WEB SITE: http://officialcwf.cjb.net ______________________________________________________ Scene changes to the set of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", where Ash is chatting with the likes of Drew Carey, Emeril Lagasi, and David Duchovny. JR VO: Ladies and gentlemen, just last night, Ash Ketchum-Sonn made an appearance on celebrity "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"! Shot of Ash winning the fastest finger question, and then of him in the "hot seat". REGIS: Here in the hot seat is CWF Superstar Ash Ketchum-Sonn, Ash welcome to the show. ASH: My pleasure. ...REGIS: Who would you say was your toughest opponent? ASH: I'd have to say my adopted brother Gohan. I mean, we know each other's styles, moves, capabilities...you know, we're just always pushing each other to each other's limit. REGIS: Ash, you're playing for (reading an index card) the Elizabeth Ann Ketchum Foundation, tell us more about that. ASH: It's an orginazation to give aid and relief to flood victims all over the world. My real mom died as a result of flooding, and the mayor of Pallett had informed me that he set this up, and I feel that I owe her that much. Later, Ash is shown answering the $32,000 question. REGIS: In which ocean are the American Samoan Islands located? (A) Atlantic, (B) Pacific, (C) Indian, (D) Arctic? ASH: ...Geography was never my strong point. So I'm gonna use my phone-a-friend lifeline....I'm gonna call Dwayne in Miami; he's also a wrestler like me. ...DWAYNE: Hello? REGIS: Yes, is this Dwayne? DWAYNE: NO, this isn't Dwayne, jabroni! It's the Rock! The crowd cheers. Ash gives a very knowing laugh. ...REGIS: You SET ME UP! (Ash nods.) Okay, Rock, Ash has 16,000, he's playing for 32,000 and you've got thirty seconds starting...NOW! ...ROCK: Well the Rock says this: the Samoan Islands are located in the Pacific Ocean! ASH: You're sure about that Rock? ROCK: Jabroni, the Rock IS Samoan! He SHOULD know where they are! You gotta THINK about these things, son! ...ASH: Thanks Rock. ROCK: It's (B) the Pacific...IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK...IS...COOKIN!!!!! He's cut off. ...REGIS: HE'S RIGHT, FOR $32,000!!! Ash is then seen holding up his quarter-of-a-million dollar check. JR VO: Ash later went on to win $250,000 for The Elizabeth Ann Ketchum Foundation! Switch back to the ring, where the Devil Couple's music starts, and they come out to the arena. JR: Welcome back to the RAW. KAI: I'm SHTAYING after what I SHAW a few MINUTESH ago. Don't want to run into the Big Show. KING: I agree. Stay RIGHT HERE!! JR: Will be the first time that we have you for the ENTIRE show. In any case, here comes the Devil Couple, and they will be up against the Dudley Boyz, and EA Sports presents CWF Judgement Day, live from the Nassau Colliseum in Uniondale, New York. May 28th, and only on Pay Per View. KING: And the main event for that match can be changed TONIGHT, JR. KAI: That ish, if Chichi'sh pick ish shuccesshful. JR: And here comes the Dudleys. They aren't wasting any time. Here we go, and the match is underway here. KING: And it won't be long until the Dudleys think about putting the Devil Couple though a table or two. KAI: Wouldn't bwreak MY heart for them to do THAT any. JR: D-Von, with a few right hands on Tuxedo Mask, and irish whip, no reversal, and D-Von puts on the brakes, Mask goes up...AND HEAD COLLIDES WITH THE POST, AND LOOK AT THE STRENGTH THAT D-VON IS SHOWING, LIFTING MASK ABOVE HIS HEAD, AND BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS FINALLY!! KING: Now I'm REALLY worried about... CROWD: TABLE, TABLE, TABLE... KING: OH WILL YOU SHUT UP!! KAI: They know what they WANT!! JR: The crowd in attendance wants to have thew Devil Couple be put though a table. KING: Well it ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN!! JR: Darien needs to get out of there, and does, as Sailor Moon now comes in... CROWD: MOON SUCKS D*CK, MOON SUCKS D*CK, MOON SUCKS D*CK,... KING: OH NO!! Not these potty mouthed people again. JR: I don't want to repeat THAT either. KAI: They are all OVER her TONIGHT. JR: They sure are, and Moon goes for a cradle, but D-Von catches her, spins her around, and...BACK DOWN TO THE CANVAS ON HER FACE, AND D-VON TAUNTS MASK, AND MASK DISTRACTS THE REF, AND...OH NO!! HERE COMES BUH BUH!! KAI: YOU DON'T THINK... KING: SHE'S A WOMAN!! JR: BUT SHE DESERVES IT, BELIEVE ME...DOWN HE WENT, AND MOON HAS GOTTA BE HURTING BIG TIME, AND HERE COMES TUXEDO MASK, AND QUICKLY THE DUDLEYS GO AFTER HIM...3D ON TUXEDO MASK, AND NOW THE DUDLEYS GET SAILOR MOON, AND...3D ON MOON, AND BUH BUH FOR THE WIN, 2, 3!! THAT IS ALL SHE WROTE!! GARCIA: Here are your winners, the Dudley Boyz. JR: And the Dudleys ain't DONE, either. KING: OH NO!! KAI: They'e gonna get the furniture. JR: And there it is. Buh Buh is getting set up, and the table is getting set up, and...WAIT A MINUTE, HERE COMES MISTY, AND MISTY IS TRYING TO FIGHT OF THE DUDLEYS, BUT D-VON COUNTERS WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX, AND NOW...3D ON MISTY, AND...OH NO!! KING: NOT MISTY!! KAI: I THINK SHE DESHERVESH IT EVEN MORE THAN THE DEVIL COUPLE!! JR: MISTY IS GETTING SET UP, AND BUH BUH....POWERBOMBS MISTY THOUGH A TABLE, AND BUH BUH, GOING THOUGH THAT TRANCE THAT HE GETS!! KING: OH MY GOD!! KAI: WELL, SHOMETHING TELLSH ME THAT THISH ISH NOT GOING TO BW PWRETTY WHEN THEY COME TO AND SHEE WHAT HAPPENED HERE!! Switch to the back, where Chichi is speaking with DP. CHICHI: So you know why I want this person to be the guy I picked to face Beryl for the title tonight?! DP: YEP!! That is why the person will have their chance tonight on RAW!! CHICHI: Thanks. DP: We'll see how much trust she puts out. JR: We'll be right back. They go to a break, then come back. Switch to a shopping mall, where our cameras are following a casually-dressed Aneubis, and a CWF official. JR: Folks, this was recorded earlier today, our cameras have, by request, followed Aneubis to a shopping mall! KING: He's got a referee with him, do you think he's going after Krillin, JR? JR: I guess SO! They enter. Aneubis then walks into an arcade. KAI: He'sh in the arcade?! Krillin is at an arcade machine, playing a game. When suddenly... ANEUBIS: HOW YA DOING, KRILLIN, HUH, YOU PUNK?! Krillin sees Aneubis and the ref and the crew and the... KRILLIN: (startled) OH ----! Aneubis and Krillin start to fight! KING: AAAH! JR: KRILLIN AND ANEUBIS FIGHTING IT OUT IN THE ARCADE! KING: AN ARCADE?! KAI: 24-7, KING! ANYTIME, ANYPLASHE! THE TITLE'SH BWEEN DEFENDED IN ODDER SHITUATIONSH THAN THISH! JR: ANEUBIS BOUNCING KRILLIN'S HEAD OFF JUST ABOUT EVERY GAME MACHINE IN THE ARCADE - KRILLIN WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION...SCOOP SLAM RIGHT ONTO (laughing) A SKEE BALL MACHINE! KAI: SHKEE BWALL! THAT'SH MY FAVORITE! JR: Krillin on the offensive again... Krillin grabs a skee ball out of the machine, and BOUNCES IT OFF ANEUBIS' HEAD! ANEUBIS: (grabbing his forehead) OWWWWWWWWWW!!! KING: (hysterics) KRILLIN: COUNT HIM! TIM WHITE: 1.....2..... JR: Kickout at 2 by Aneubis! These two are VISCIOUS! KAI: They REALLY want thish title! They tumble into...A PAY PHOTO BOOTH! KING: HAA! THEY'RE GETTING THEIR PICTURES TAKEN! SAY CHEESE! KAI: MORE LIKE HARDCORE! JR: ANEUBIS AND KRILLIN BACK FROM AN IMPROMPTU PHOTO SHOOT! KRILLIN NOW WITH ANEUBIS... KING: CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT YOUR MONEY PAID FOR THOSE PICTURES, JR! MAN, I'LL BET THOSE PICTURES'LL BE AUCTIONEDOFFFORQUITEANAMOUNTOFMONEY - LOOKOUT! JR: GOOD LORD! ANEUBIS COUNTERS WITH THE IRISH WHIP, AND KRILLIN CRASHED INTO THOSE PINBALL MACHINES! KAI: TILT! TILT! TILT! TILT - AAAAH! JR: THERE'S A COVER, AND KRILLIN JUST BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Aneubis could win the CWF Hardcore title, the ONLY BELT in this INDUSTRY defended 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! KAI: Thish ish shpilling out ALL OVER THE MALL! JR: Out in the atrium of that shopping mall... KING: Hey LOOK! The fountain! Throw some coins in there, JR! Aneubis picks up Krillin, and TOSSES HIM IN THE FOUNTAIN! JR: MY GOD! ANEUBIS JUST TOSSED KRILLIN INTO THAT FOUNTAIN! KAI: HOW'SH HE GONNA GET A PINFALL LIKE THAT?! Aneubis gets in the fountain, and covers Krillin! TIM WHITE: 1....2....3! NEW CHAMPION, ANEUBIS! KING: WHAT?! JR: AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT'S OVER! ANEUBIS IS THE NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION! KING: HE PINNED HIM IN THE FOUNTAIN, JR! THE FOUNTAIN, OF ALL PLACES! Switch back to the arena in the back, where the Cardians are coming out for their match. JR: Coming up next, in non title action, the Cardians will be against Al Snow and Steve Blackman... Switch to Edge and Christian in the back. EDGE: Let's give these people what they REALLY want to see, US!! CHRISTIAN: Yes. JR: OH NO!! KING: And they are coming out to the ring, as well. JR: This is not good. We'll be right back. They go to a break, then come back. BG: You think you know me. Edge and Christian come out to the music though the entrance. JR: We are about to be joined by Edge and Christian, and something tells me that we should be a little weary of their presence here. KING: Of COURSE you should be. KAI: I wonder why they want to come out here during the Cardiansh match tonight. JR: I don't have an unearthly IDEA. They are getting in the ring. EDGE: You know, this next match, we thought, needed some more spice to it, so during the next match, we will provide you, with some color commentary. JR: Oh, I'm estatic. KING: I am, as well. KAI: I think JR was being sarcastic, King. JR: I WAS!! EDGE: Now, before we go and do what we were MADE to do, we are going to pose for all of you, with flash photography. They turn backs to camera for a second, and then turn back to the camera in a pose that only they can do. KING: Take your pictures, guys. KAI: I know I am. JR: I'll PASS!! And here they come, and here comes Al Snow and Steve Blackman, as we are being joined now by Edge and Christian, and... KING: Welcome guys. EDGE: Are you glad that you get to see US again this week? KING: I know I am. CHRISTIAN: We are going to give life into this otherwise BORING match between two boring tag teams, and let me tell you, out of the two teams that are boring, those Cardians are the more boring. KAI: UH OH!! JR: You made a STATEMENT that you didn't like them a BIT, in your OWN way, last Thursday night on Smack Down. I don't think that they are too happy with your antics last Thursday night. EDGE: Well, JR, you know it, we know it, and our loyal fans know that we are the surpreme tag team in the Cartoon Wrestling Federation, and WE should have the CWF Tag Team Titles. KAI: That'sh a pretty bold shtatement, guysh. CHRISTIAN: Well, speech therapist, that's because we SHOULD be the CWF Champs instead of THOSE two jack-offs. KING: HA!! JR: Well, here comes the Tag Team Champions, who you really let loose on last Thursday night on Smack Down, Edge. EDGE: Well, of course we were going to let loose on them. I mean, these guys SUCK as the tag team champions, and I promise you that we will get those titles for ourselves, because everyone knows that we should be the CWF Tag Team Champions, not those BLOW HARDS!! in fact, King, you're gonna love this. Tonight, I think that we might...no, I KNOW that we WILL, do another...RUN IN!! KING: HA!! Another run in. Did you hear THAT, JR?! JR: I heard it, as the match now, gets underway here, and Ann now, with the Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman. EGDE: Now, you look here. Tell me that this woman, this total PROSITUTE of a WOMAN, actiually has TALENT. Try to tell me THAT. KAI: well, I DO know that she came up with that Shurface Shockwave attack, and let me tell you, that worksh WONDERSH!! CHRISTIAN: King Kai, I'll tell you once and ONLY once, no one can be hurt by that kind of thing. And when we are though with them, we will send a shockwave THOUGHOURT the CWF. We will be the CWF Champions, and no one is going to stop us. JR: Well, I don't know about THAT!! That Surface Shockwave hastaken down a LOT of her opponents, and right now, she is wailing on Blackman. EDGE: Yeah. Look at her. I think that the only reason Alan even ended up with her was because he had correct change. KING: HA HA!! JR: I'm not gonna TOUCH that at ALL!! KAI: Same here. JR: Well, Ann with an inside cradle, two, and a kickout after two by Blackman. I've got to tell you, guys, that these two are NOT people that you want to get angry. EDGE: Yeah, like you said about that big GOOF that was walking around with that Sailor suit on. KING: Oh don't REMIND me of THAT!! JR: Ann is going to the top, and...DOWN WITH THE MISSLE DROP KICK!! Two, and Al Snow makes the save, and now Alan comes in here. EDGE: I think it's time for that run in. They go off and "run in" to the ring. JR: And Edge and Christian are going after the Cardians, and look at Steve and Al are joining in the WWF Tag Champs in attacking the CWF Tag Champs, and...ALAN AND ANN, FIGHTING BACKAGAINST EDGE AND CHRISTIN, AND AL SNOW AND BLACKMAN, HEADING FOR HIGHER GROUND, AND EDGE, GOING TO THE OUTSIDE BIG TIME, AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR...UH OH!! KAI: SHE'SH GONNA SHOW CHRISHTIAN JUSHT HOW EFFECTIVE THAT SHOCKWAVE ISH!! JR: ALAN, HOLDING CHRISTIAN DOWN, AND...DOWN, AND SHE HIT BIG WITH THAT THING, AND CHRISTIAN IS REELING, AND I DON'T THINK THAT CHRISTIAN WILL HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO SAY NEGATIVLY ABOUT THAT SHOCKWAVE AGAIN!! KAI: I WOULDN'T THINK SHO... Switch to the back, where Beryl is coming out. JR: Coming up next, who has Chichi chosen to face Queen Beryl tonight for the CWF Title?! KING: It BETTER not be Stone Cold. JR: Beryl will defend her title, NEXT!!! They go to their final commercial break, then come back. Beryl's music starts, and she enters. JR: And so it must come to pass! Queen Beryl must defend her CWF title against a mystrey opponent! Now not even WE are positive as to who it'll be! KAI: Bwut who doesh Chichi have in mind? I just don't undershtand her, thish ishn't like Chichi! KING: Whoever it is, they're gonna PAY! Beryl gets the mic. BERYL: Okay, the wait's over! WHO IN THE BACK HAS THE BIGGEST BALLS TO FACE ME?! KING: WE'RE WAITING... BERYL: C'MON! I DON'T HAVE ALL NIGHT! JUST SOMEONE GET THEIR ASS OUT HERE, SO I CAN KICK IT! KAI: MAN, I'M SHO NERVOUSH I CAN HARDLY SHTAY SHTILL! Ash's music starts up. The crowd gets so loud it can barely be heard. And they start singing along to the words. JR: OH YEAH! KING: AAAAH! KAI: YESH!!! BG: IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS, WHEN YOU DON'T WANNA WAKE UP, EVERYTHING IS F*CKED, EVERYBODY SUCKS! YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY, BUT YOU WANNA JUSTIFY RIPPING SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF! NO HUMAN CONTACT, AND IF YOU INTERACT, YOUR LIFE IS ON CONTRACT! YOU'RE BEST BET IS TO STAY AWAY MOTHERF*CKER, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS! Ash enters, flanked by Gohan, and he stands on the ramp as he observes the cheering, singing crowd. JR: OH YEAH! NEW ORLEANS'S HOMETOWN HERO, ASH KETCHUM IS STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE! AND BERYL CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT SHE'S SEEING! KING: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! CHICHI SET THIS UP, JR! AND BERYL IS POWERLESS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! JR: AND THE BELL HAS SOUNDED, AND THIS MATCH IS UNDERWAY! Beryl and Ash, slugging it out here, Ash with the DISTINCE size disadvantage, sends Beryl to the ropes, and A HUGE SPINE BUSTER BY ASH! KAI: Ash jusht might win the bwelt tonight! JR: OOO! Quick leg drop on Beryl, now going to work, reverse chinlock applied, and it would make tens of thousands of people in this arena's day! Beryl back up, she gets to the ropes, and Ash will have to break the hold - OH COME ON! There's a cheap shot by Beryl! KING: Thumb right in the eye! KAI: Worksh like a charm! JR: And now Beryl back on the offensive, whips Ash right into the turnbuckle, and THERE'S A BOOT TO THE FACE, COVER, 2...AND a kickout at 2! I tell ya, it'll take more than that to beat Ash! Ash tossed to the outside - KAI: Right in FRONT OF USH, LOOKOUT! JR: OH, BERYL BOUNCING ASH'S HEAD OFF OUR ANOUNCE POSITION, COME ON NOW, GET OUTTA HERE - OH MY! ASH JUST WHIPPED INTO THE STEEL STEPS! BERYL IS ABSOULTELY RUTHLESS IN HER ATTEMPT TO RETAIN HER CWF TITLE BELT! KING: LOOKATHIS! JR: BERYL BOUNCING ASH'S HEAD OFF THE STEEL STEPS REPEATEDLY! BERYL HAS NO MERCY, SHE HAS NO HEART, AND SHE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THE CHAMPIONSHIP! She sees the fan who painted the portrait. She then GOES AFTER THE FAN AND STEALS THE PORTRAIT! KAI: WHAT ISH SHE DOING! JR: OH COME ON NOW! BERYL STEALING THAT YOUNG LADY'S PORTRAIT OF ASH KETCHUM! AND GOHAN TRIES TO STOP HER BUT... She grabs a mic, and smashes Gohan right in the head with it. JR: GOOD LORD! GOHAN JUST GOT BUSTED OPEN FOR HIS TROUBLES, AND NOW BERYL... KAI: THAT'SH A NISHE PORTRAIT TOO, JR! Beryl tosses the portrait to Ash, and the moment he catches it, Beryl dropkicks right through the portrait, sending Ash to the steel steps! KING: AAAAH! JR: MY GOD! BERYL JUST RUINED THAT BEAUTIFUL PORTRAIT OF ASH KETCHUM- SONN! KING: NOT TO MENTION ASH KETCHUM-SONN HIMSELF! JR: THAT YOUNG LADY WHO PAINTED THAT MUST'VE SPENT HOURS TO CREATE THAT! AND BERYL JUST DESTROYED IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! IT'S DISGUSTING! KAI: WELL, AT LEASHT THEY'RE BWACK IN THE RING! JR: Beryl now with Ash, Irish whip - no, reversal, reversed again, and OH MY! Earl Hebner got in the way and has been knocked down! Beryl now...PSYCHODRIVE ON ASH! BUT THERE'S NO REFEREE! KING: YOU CAN COUNT TO THREE HUNDRED AND HE'LL STILL BE OUT! JR: OH NOW LOOK AT BERYL! HAMMERING AWAY AT A NOW DEFENSELESS ASH KETCHUM! KAI: THISH HASH GONE TOO FAR! KING: AAAH LOOKOUT! JR: AND GOHAN NOW, COMING IN TO SAVE HIS ADOPTED BROTHER! GOHAN GETTING A PIECE OF THE QUEEN - AND WHAT IS THIS?! KING: IT'S CHICHI! JR: CHICHI IS COMING DOWN NOW! CHICHI LOOKING ON AS GOHAN FIGHTS WITH BERYL! KAI: SHE'SH GOING TO CHECK ON ASH! JR: CHICHI NOW... She whispers something to Ash. Then, she tucks something away into his right hand, which closes into a fist around it. She kisses him on the cheek, and calls Gohan back away from Beryl. Then, she leaves, a smile on her face. KING: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! JR: I'M NOT QUITE SURE MYSELF, BUT GOHAN HAS LEFT THE RING AS WELL...GOOD LORD! KAI: WOW! JR: ASH JUST CAUGHT QUEEN BERYL WITH A HOOK RIGHT TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! KING: WHAT'S THAT IN HIS HAND?! Ash unfurls it...it turns out to be A ROLL OF QUARTERS! JR: A ROLL OF QUARTERS! A ROLL OF QUARTERS! ASH HAD THAT RIGHT HOOK LOADED! AND BERYL IS OUT COLD! REFEREE TIM WHITE BACK IN THIS, ASH PICKS UP BERYL...ASHES TO ASHES! HERE'S A COVER... CROWD: (along with count) 1.....2.....3!!! JR: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!! CHIMEL: HERE IS YOUR WINNER....AND NEWWWWWW CWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ASH KETCHUM-SONN!!! JR: (almost hoarse) WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! AND I DON'T THINK EVEN ASH CAN BELIEVE IT! KAI: BWELIEVE IT KID, YOU EARNED IT! JR: GOHAN COMING IN TO CELEBRATE WITH THE NEW CHAMP, (the ref hands him the belt, but he's still just seated, staring at it in disbelief) DON'T BE FOOLED, IT ISN'T A DREAM, IT ISN'T A FANTASY, IT'S REAL! YOU'RE ON TOP OF THE WRESTLING WORLD! Ash finally stands up. He's still staring at the belt. JR: WHAT A WAY FOR ASH TO END HIS HOMECOMING BY DETHRONING THE QUEEN! KING: BUT LOOK AT ASH! KAI: HE SHTILL CAN'T BWELIEVE IT! KING: HE'S A MILLION MILES AWAY! Ash lets out a huge scream, and throws both arms up in the air, showing the belt to his hometown fans. JR: TAKE A BOW KID, YOU MOST CERTAINLY EARNED IT! KING: THESE PEOPLE WILL NEVER FORGET THIS - WAIT HE'S GOT A MIC! ASH: (in a Louisiana accent) HEY! (puffing) NOW FIRST OFF...FIRST...(almost in tears. His music stops.) I WANNA THANK A FEW PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT! NUMBER ONE...I WANNA THANK ALL MY FANS, NOT JUST IN N'ORLEANS, BUT ALL OVER THE WORLD AS WELL! The crowd cheers. ASH: I ALSO WANNA THANK THE SONNS...THE SONN FAMILY, MY ADOPTIVE FAMILY, FOR TAKING ME IN...CARING FOR ME...BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST, NOT JUST IN THE RING BUT IN LIFE AS WELL! They cheer again. He hugs his brother for a few seconds, burying his face in his shoulder. And when we can see his face again, his eyes are bloodshot and tear streaks mar his face. ASH: AND FINALLY...FINALLY THERE ARE TWO MORE PEOPLE I ESPECIALLY WANNA THANK, AND.... The crowd cheers more. ASH: FIRST IS MY REAL FATHER, WHO ALWAYS TOLD ME HOW LITTLE I WOULD AMOUNT TO IN LIFE! (to the camera) DAD, WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING... The crowd falls quiet for a moment. ASH: ........I HOPE YOU'RE WATCHING RAW IS WAR, YOU SON OF A BITCH! The crowd is ecstatic. ASH: AND FINALLY......FINALLY.....I KNOW SHE'S NOT WITH US ANYMORE...BUT THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT SHE'S HERE, WATCHING OVER ALL OF US! I LOVE YOU, WE ALL DO! MOM....(hoisting up the belt, choked up, fresh tears pouring from his eyes) THIS ONE'S FOR YOU! His music starts up again. JR: (almost choked up as well) A VERY HEARTMOVING SCENE BY THE NEW CARTOON WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, ASH KETCHUM! WHAT A NIGHT IT HAS BEEN FOR ALL OF US! THANKS FOR WATCHING HERE TONIGHT! GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! AND GODSPEED! They go off the air. C. 2000 by Cartoon Wrestling Federation (CWF). All rights reserved.