CWF RAW #5 RATING: R/TV-14 DLV DISCLAIMER: CHARACTERS, SPONSORS (ALTHOUGH NOT ACTUALLY SPONSERS) AND SUCH ARE THE PROPERTY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE COMPANIES!! E-MAIL: darkpowrjd@aol.com SPECIAL NOTE: If you are reading this BEFORE Sunday night at 8:00 P.M. EST, STOP NOW!! This would be the RAW the following night after Wrestlemania, the Ultimate War (that is, if you are GETTING Wrestlemania)!! This contains spoilers until that time!! ______________________________________________________________________ ANNOUNCERS: Michael Cole Jerry "The King" Lawler BACKSTAGE: The New Guy Serena Sommers Terry Taylor Kevin Kelly _______________________________________________________________________ Before RAW OFFICIALLY goes on the air, they make a flashback of what happened last night on WRESTLEMANIA!! [start Wrestlemania flashback] ROSS: OH MY GOD!! THEY BOTH DID THEIR FINISHING MANUVERS AT THE EXACT SAME DAMN TIME HERE!! ...Beryl's getting back up, and now.... COVER ..... 1........ 2.......NO!!!! MY GOD, NO!!! What is it gonna take to put one of these two AWAY here!! ...ROSS: ...AUSTIN, RAN RIGHT INTO MILLS LANE, and damn near knocked him out, here!! I'm SURE it was unintentional, and now Beryl, with the...PSYCHADELIC DRIVER!!! And a cover!!! But there's no ref!!....WAIT A MINUTE, THERE'S TRIPLE H!!! TRIPLE H HAS A CHAIR, AND NOW...HAS HIT QUEEN BERYL WITH THE CHAIR!! ...BERYL IS HELPLESS!! Triple H takes the chair, and where the head of the chair and the seat would be together if folded, he puts that part around Beryl's leg and folds it as far as it can go. he then gets onto the middle turnbuckle. ROSS: MY GOD NO!!! [Triple H then jumps off of the turnbuckle, his foot landing on the seat, forcing the chair to fold against Beryl's leg HARD and FAST, therby hurting her leg, nearly BREAKNG some of the bones IN the leg, in he DIDN'T] MY GOD, DID YOU HEAR THE BONES SNAP!!...TRIPLE H NOW, AND AGAIN, TO THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE!! ...TRIPLE H....NO, NO ,NO!!! [he does it again!! this time, you can HEAR the bones snap apart, as Beryl's leg is hurt real bad, if not BROKEN] My GOD, Beryl's leg has gotta be SHATTERED into a MILLION pieces, King!! Triple H goes up AGAIN, and NOW when he does it, the leg is heard snapping damn near in half, and the sound of it is downright SICKENING!! ROSS: MY GOD, COME ON!! THIS IS ENOUGH!! Beryl is heard screaming in pain from the leg in which Triple H has tried to break!! Her screams echo all through the arena from the cries. Her screams would bring a person's EAR begging for MERCY, as she is screaming bloody MURDER!! And then, to the stomach turning surprise, Triple H is gonna do it AGAIN!! ROSS: ...COME ON...WAIT A MINUTE!! STONE COLD HAS NOW SEEN THIS, AND NOW...KICK TO THE MIDSECTION AND NOW TO THE NEAR SIDE!! MILLS LANE IS STILL DOWN AND OUT HERE, AND TACKLE FROM AUSTIN!! BERYL, WITH SICKENING CRIES AND SCREAMS HERE,...AUSTIN NOW........STUNNER TO TRIPLE H, AND TRIPLE H HIGHTAILS IS, BUT BERYL IS TRYING TO STAND ON ONE GOOD LEG ...SHE HAS AUSTIN AND....ANOTHER PSYCHADELIC DRIVER!!! HOWEVER, SHE CAME DOWN HARD ON THAT INJURED LEG THERE, AND SHE IS DOWN, AND NOW, MILLS LANE....WE HAVE A COVER, THOUGH!!! WE HAVE A COVER!!! MILLS LANE IS GOING OVER TO MAKE THE COUNT!! 1...................................... 2 .................................... 3!!! 3!!!!! 3!!!! [Mills Lane calls for the bell to end the match, and the Negaverse music starts playing] SHE'S DONE IT!!! WE HAVE OUR FIRST CWF CHAMPION, BUT SHE FOUGHT LIKE HELL TO GET IT!!! ...ROSS: AND SHE IS AS DESERVING AS SHE CAN GET OF THAT HONOR!! MY GOD, SHE HAS A GOD DAMN BROKEN LEG...AND SHE'S ORUR FIRST WORLD CHAMPION!! KING: ...., FOUR PSYCHADELIC DRIVERS TO FINALLY PUT STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN AWAY!! ROSS: ...THE FIRST CWF WORLD CHAMPION, QUEEN BERYL!! AND LOOK, SHE CAN HARDLY STAND ON HER OWN TWO FEET!! ...EVERY BONE OF HER BODY HAS GOTTA BE GOING THROUGH AGONY!! ...AUSTIN IS BACK UP, AND BERYL IS SEEING HIM!! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW?!! ...he gives her a Stevewiser!! In her agony, she is able to pop the top off, and start drinking!! Austin then opens his HIS way, and then starts to do the same!! The fans cheer this, as Austin makes his exit!! ROSS: RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER HERE,....SHE HAS NOW BECOME THE TOP PLAYER OF THE GAME!! SHE IS THE CWF CHAMPION!! The OFFICIAL RAW IS WAR opening song starts, then soon ends, as the First Union Center of Philidelphia, Pennsylvania gets jacked, as pyros come up out of the stage there!! After a minute of cheering, Jim Ross starts commentating!! COLE: What A hell of a night it WAS at Wrestlemania, ladies and gentlemen!! We had a woman who dove about 60 FEET off the TITANTRON, we had a team decide their FATE, and THAT was to STAY in the CWF, And we saw one woman, although she went through hell and high water, she fulfilled a dream!! Welcome to RAW IS WAR, everybody!! I am Michael Cole alongside Jerry "The King" Lawler, and last night, we saw Queen Beryl become the very FIRST CWF Champion!! KING: That's right!! And I couldn't BELIEVE that she did THAT after what Triple H did to her with the chair...!! The Negaverse music plays, and then the Kid Rockish type Negaverse music starts to play, as Queen Beryl comes out...WITH THE WORLD TITLE!! She is limping to no end here!! COLE: Yes, it was THAT woman right there who beat Stone Cold Steve Austin, dispite what Triple H did to her last night at Wrestlemania!! It was one hell of a match, and not taking anything away from Stone Cold Steve Austin, who fought like hell HIMSELF, but Beryl deserves a LOT of respect after what she went through to get that title!! KING: I'm sure that she'll MENTION what happened with her and Triple H, but I'll give her RESPECT at THAT!! HOWEVER, she HAS to know that KEEPING the title is even TOUGHER than GETTING it!! Beryl then makes her way into the ring, but with great difficulty. She then asks for a mike, and gets one!! Her music stops, and now she speaks!! BERYL: Last night, Stone Cold Steve Austin, you gave me one of THE most HELLATIOUS matches that I have EVER had!! I'm gonna give YOU all the credit!!! I wasn't READY for what I was IN for with you!! It was TOUGH, and I HAVE to AMIT, I never even ached so much battling the SAILOR SOILDERS in the days of my EVILNESS as MUCH as I did after last night's MATCH!! COLE: Certanly, she put up a HELL of a fight last night!! BERYL: HOWEVER, I have to be the one GLOATING, as ALWAYS!! You know, that's just ME!! But when the smoke cleared, and it was all said and done, Mills Lane, which did a HELL of a job last NIGHT, although HE got his ass knocked out as WELL, raised MY hand!! And NOW, your LOOKING at the CWF Champion, and I can NOW say that, and MEAN it, becuase look who has the BELT!!! COLE: Certanly, she DESERVES it, as WELL!! BERYL: Now, Austin, I would talk about you for eternity, but there is ANOTHER person that I must get too, who is the most EVIL son of a BITCH to EVER walk the CWF, and that is YOU, Triple H!! COLE: Here we go!! BERYL: As you can see, I'm walking with a limp in my right leg, THAT YOUR LAZY-ASS MADE!! You ARE the SICKEST BASTARD that ever WALKED the CWF, and after what you did to my leg last night, I can NEVER pay you back ENOUGH now!! But there are two things that I mentioned about you!! ONE is THIS!! You're gonna have to KILL ME to make ME stop coming after YOUR ass, and you didn't do THAT, because, as you SEE, I'm stille a living and BEATHING little BITCH!! COLE: She DID say that!! KING: I know, I know!! BERYL: And there was ONE MORE THING that I said!! I said that when I got this title, YOU were the FIRST PERSON that I was gonna COME after!! [crowd cheers] COLE: She said THAT too!! BERYL: SO, Triple H, I'm gonna be at Unforgiven ANYWAYS, SO, when we get to THAT point, I want a piece of YOUR ass, and just to make it a little more INTRERESTING, I'm gonna let you have a SHOT at MY world title match!! COLE: OH MY!! TRIPLE H VS. QUEEN BERYL FOR THE TITLE AT UNFORGIVEN!! I THINK THAT'S A HELL OF AN IDEA!! BERYL: Now, what is your ANSWER, Triple H?!! Triple H apears on the Titantron!! HHH: I think it's a PLAN, Queen BITCH!! COLE: OH YEAH!! The championship on the line for Unforgiven!! Triple H against Queen Beryl for the Title!! KING: Beryl is gonna be SORRY that she TRIED this!! HHH: HOWEVER, make it an ANYTHING GOES match, pinfalls count anywhere match!! Make it THAT, and we've got a MATCH!! COLE: Oh NOW the tables have been TURNED, because NOW the tide is in Triple H's favor here!! BERYL: Fine, if THAT'S what you WANT, then THAT'S what you GET!! A Pinfalls count anywhere, ANYTHING goes match...IN MY NEGAVERSE!!! [crowd cheers] COLE: OH YEAH!! NEGAMATCH FOR UNFORGIVEN, TITLE ON THE LINE!! HHH: Now WAIT a minute, I wanted a hardcore rules match, NOT a match in THAT place!! BERYL: But you LOVED when I kicked your ass there LAST time we MET there!! So I say THIS, unless you want it, there will be NO title match!! COLE: An ultimatum!! Triple H is being asked to take it, or FORGET the title match!! HHH: Let me put it THIS way, Beryl!! TONIGHT, let's make a DEAL!! If you defeat Chyna hewre TONIGHT, then you can have ANY TYPE OF DAMN MATCH YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE!! But if...no, WHEN Chyna wins the match, you won't be able to choose the match!!! I WILL!! COLE: Oh MY!! A challenge right HERE!! BERYL: FINE!! You BRING that BITCH!! I'll be sure to kick HER ass as much as I will YOURS at Unforgiven!! And I WILL get my Negamatch, AND QUEEN BERYL HAS SPOKEN!! [her music plays]!! COLE: So a match against Chyna here TONIGHT for QB, the winner gets their match for Unforgiven!! KING: Well, don't be so HASTY, because I am SURE that Triple H doesn't care WHERE he faces Queen Beryl, but let me tell you THIS, he might be walking out of Unforgiven the NEXT CWF Champion!! COLE: Plus TONIGHT, we have a WAR here TONIGHT!! Sailor Pluto vs. The Undertaker here TONIGHT, and we have word that they are the number 1 contenders for the European Title, King!! KING: We don't even have a TOURNAMENT for them?!! COLE: No!! That's for the European title here TONIGHT on RAW, and PLUS, we have Sailor Venus and Sailor Jupiter against the Ackolytes for the Title, and SPEAKING of which, last NIGHT, not only did Team DX Rocket shut Ash Kethum up, but they have the title shot at Unforgiven, and will meet the winner of THAT matchup!! Switch to the back, where Ash is coming towards the ring. COLE: Uh oh!! Ash is coming out HERE, and TONIGHT, I believe he has a LOT to say after what happened last NIGHT!! We'll be right BACK!! [start CWF commercial (announcers from Wrestlemania flashbacks)] ANN.: A night to remember!! ROSS: ...[she falls into the dumpster preforming an elbow drop from the top of the Titantron]... SHE WENT FROM FIVE STORIES UP ON THAT TITANTRON INTO THE DUMPSTER!! ANN.: Defying the laws of all that is ordinary!! ROSS: PRINCE DIAMOND IS ACTING LIKE HE NEVER GOT SACRIFICED AT ANY POINT!! ...TUXEDO MASK HAS WON THIS THING, THANKS TO DIAMOND'S HELP HERE!! ANN.: And making dreams come true!! ROSS: 1...................................... 2 .........................................3!!! 3!!!!! 3!!!! [Mills Lane calls for the bell to end the match, and the Negaverse music starts playing] ... FINKLE: ...NNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW CARTOON WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, QUEEN BERYL!!! ...ROSS: ...ANOTHER LIFELONG DREAM HAS COME TRUE HERE!! ANN.: CWF Wrestlemania, the Encore Presentation!! This Tuesday only on Pay-Per-View!! [end CWF commercial] They go to a break, then come BACK. Ash's music starts to play, as he comes out showered by boos. COLE: Welcome back to RAW, everybody, and last night, it was Ash who lost to Team Rocket, but we should say give an assist to the ROCK, King!! KING: I know!! The Rock, the stupid IDIOT that he is, came in, and gave him THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!! I can't BELIEVE it!! COLE: Well, we DO believe that Ash can say no more of how villians should be in the CWF!! He's gonna speak now, though!! ASH: You know, when I look back at what I have DONE last night and for the past few WEEKS, I'm actually kinda GLAD that I lost the match last night!! It wasn't in the WAY I would want to lose, but I'm glad that I did!! WHY?! Because that talk about heros and villians?!! Well, I guess THAT went down the drain!! ALSO, that WASN'T me!! Those BRILLIANT people in the CWF Front Offices had this BRIGHT idea of making me to be some sort of HERO!! To be some sort of person that baiscally said what Hulk Hogan would say, with that "eat your vitamins" bit!! My GOD, I thought that I was about to PUKE at what they had MADE me into!! BUT NOT NO MORE!! They will NOT mold me INTO that!! NUH UH!! COLE: THIS is different!! ASH: HOWEVER, back to BUSINESS, ROCK, I want a piece of YOUR ass!! COLE: It was the Rock that did that to Ash last night!! ASH: Rock, you would think I owe you a FAVOR!! BUT NOT SO SHABBY!! You SEE, in the PROCESS, you did a number on ME, and BASICALLY told me that you can kick my ASS!! And you know, I don't like what you DO!! You know, that comedy rotine that you do!! You know, where you say "if you smell what your cookin'" and all of THAT!! And those things about how your gonna kick someone's ASS and all of that!! But the one thing that gets me, and I mean REALLY gets my ASS, is that STUPID, RETARDED People's Eyebrow!! You know, that one thing that you do, where your eyebrow looks like it's going over a damn HUMP?!! I think thatis the STUPIDEST thing that you could EVER DO!! SO... BG: DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'?!! COLE: OH MY!! ONE person didn't think so, and that was the Rock, and here he comes!! KING: Oh no!! COLE: He's the one who cost Ash the match last night at Wrestlemania!! ROCK: FINALLY, THE ROCK, HAS COME BACK, TO PHILIDELPHIA!! [crowd cheers] Now, Ash, you MONKEY ASS!! COLE: WOAH!! ROCK: The ROCK knows that he's the one who took your monkey as, CHECKED it into the Smack Down Hotel, and kicked your monkey ass all over GOD'S GREEN EARTH LAST NIGHT!! KING: RIGHT!! ROCK: Now, The Rock couldn't give two pieces of monkey piss if you were singing that song of yours about 'oh, this is a villian', or 'my God, a villian is getting cheered, let's kill him so he won't be'!! Oh NO, NO, NO!! The Rock didn't CARE!! The reason he did it was because you were just pissing The Rock off!! And to the ROCK, that brings you three seconds away...AND THE ROCK MEANS, THREE SECONDS AWAY, from The ROCK to lay the Smacketh Downeth all overeth your CANDY ASS!! [crowd cheers] COLE: OH MY!! KING: NO WAY!! ROCK: But from what the Rock is hearing, you can't stand the People's Eyebrow!! You can't STAND it when the Rock lays down the most ELECTIFYING EYEBROW IN SPORTS ENERTAINMENT TODAY!! However, in REALITY, you're just JEALOUS of the Rock!! You can't STAND it when the Rock comes in, and the MILLIONS...[turns head sharply] CROWD:...and MILLIONS!! ROCK:...and MILLIONS of the Rock's fans start chanting his name!! ROCKY, ROCKY,... CROWD: ROCKY, ROCKY, ROCKY,... ROCK: And then, he takes that ugly ass set of CRAB GRASS that you call your HAIR, he cuts each and every strand of the set with a damn WEED WHACKER, which you probably use ANYWAY to CUT it, he takes that set of hair in his hands, turn each strand sideways, and sticks the entire set STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!!! ASH: Well, tonight on RAW, I am here to issue a challenge to you!! Since you don't like my HAIR, and I hate that damn EYEBROW, let's make a match for Unforgiven!! If I win, I'll take that razor, and I will SHAVE that damn eyebrow clean off of your HEAD!! But, if YOU win, you can have the honors of shaving my head COMPLETLY BALD!! COLE: WOAH!! ROCK: Jabroni, the ROCK says that once he is done beating your candy ass all over God's Green Earth, he will take a razor, he will shave the ENTIRE bowl of CRAB GRASS off of your head, and THEN, he will take the razor, turn it sideways, and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS!! Now, the Rock is saying THIS!!! You BRING your monkey ass to Unforgiven, and TRY to make your monkey ass FAMOUS!! You will go ONE ON ONE with the GREAT ONE!! And the MILLIONS... CROWD: ...and MILLIONS!! ROCK: ...and MILLIONS of the Rock's fans will see your CROWD AND ROCK: ROODY POO CANDY ASS ROCK: GET KICKED ALL OVER GOD'S GREEN EARTH, IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....WHAT THE ROCK... CROWD: IS COOKIN'!!! The Rock does his movements with his head, and does the People's Eyebrow. ROCK: ....................................................IS COOKIN'!! [his music plays] COLE: So a hair vs. Eyebrow match for Unforgiven, King!!! KING: Oh MAN, and when it is all said and done, we will either see the Rock without an eyebrow, or Ash BALD!! COLE: Well, coming up next, it is Sailor Pluto vs. The Undertaker, the winner is the European Champion!! It is NEXT!! [start CWF commercial] ANN.: Do you really think that you are worthy of being FORGIVEN?!! SERENA: ... Beryl just flew five feet off of that stage, and into a table!! Beryl is down, and she needs help FAST!!... ANN.: YEAH RIGHT!!! EVERYBODY IS UNFORGIVEN!! CWF UNFORGIVEN, PRESENTED BY CHEF BOYARDEE!! LIVE, SEPTEMBER 19 FROM THE PEPSI ARENA IN ALBANY, NEW YORK, ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!! [end CWF commercial] They then go to a commercial, then come back after it. The lights go out, and out comes the Undertaker, showered by boos. COLE: Welcome back to CWF Raw here. The Undertaker is coming out, and this is for the European Championship!! The Undertaker will be against Sailor Pluto, and tonight, RAW IS WAR is brought to you by priceline.com, where you name your own price and save on airfares, hotels, and MORE!! KING: And by 10-10-220!! Now calls up to 20 minutes are only 99 cents when you dial 10-10-220!! COLE: And by BURGER KING!! KING: WHAT?! COLE: When you have it YOUR way, it just taste better!! KING: Why is BURGER KING sponsoring RAW tonight, do you know?!! COLE: Well, I'm SURE it was just a coincidence, King!!! KING: Oh, coincidence MY...!! Pluto comes out to her music. COLE: Well here we go!! Sailor Pluto is going to go up against the Phenom, the Undertaker, and last night at Wrestlemania, we saw Tuxedo Mask and Prince Diamond form a BOND together, and we hear that it may be Tuxedo Mask and Prince Diamond against the Undertaker and the Big Show for Unforgiven!! KING: Well, let me tell you that last night, we saw a whole BUNCH of surprises there, and... COLE: WAIT A MINUTE, King, I have just been informed that Team Rocket, along with DX, has arrived, and we are gonna hear from THEM following this matchup. KING: Oh NO!! Are we gonna hear that 'prepare for trouble' speech again?! COLE: This match is underway, here!! King, I don't know!! Chances are, they probably WILL, King!! KING: Oh NO!! Wake me UP when that's over!! COLE: Here we go now, the Undertaker, and Sailor Pluto, and this is for the European Title!! It was such a surprise that Darkpower MADE it this way, after all of the tournaments he made for the OTHER title's, King. KING: Well,...AHHH!!! COLE: Pluto, with stiff rights, to the sternem of the Undertaker. Now, backed into a corner now, irish whip to the far turnbuckle, Undertaker puts on the brakes, and now with supurb agility, jumps over Pluto, and now the Undertaker with STINGING shots to the throat by the Undertaker. The Undertaker now, with Pluto, a bodyslam from the 7 footer from Death Valley. To the top rope, taking a chance here, and... Pluto, however, gets back up, and punches the Undertaker, and then the Undertaker slips and FALLS, and he lands on the turnbuckle on a part which will make him sing sorprano for a while. COLE: The Undertaker took a chanced, and he PAYED for it, as Pluto now, takes the Undertaker, and now a SUPERPLEX from the top turnbuckle!! What is she....OH NO!! The Big Show is coming out here!! What is he DOING out here?! KING: I don't know, but we have TROUBLE now!! COLE: The Big Show, near us, and now the referee distracted by the Undertaker, and...OH MY!! PLUTO WAS HIT BY A CHAIR ON THE HEAD BY THE BIG SHOW, AND THE REF DIDN'T SEE IT!!! THE UNDERTAKER NOW, HAS PLUTO FOR THE TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, AND...DOWN SHE GOES!! FOLKS, THIS ONES OVER [the ref counts to three, not knowing what REALLY happened] The Undertaker is the European Champion, but in a way many of these fans don't AGREE with, King!! RING ANN.: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match and NEW European Champion, The Undertaker!! KING: I have to tell you, I think Pluto may be down and OUT here!! COLE: Well, the Undertaker and The Big Show, TOGETHER, has won the title, but I have to think that Pluto will have something to say about... Switch to the back, where X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Team Rocket make their way to the ring. COLE: OH MY!! They ARE here, and we are gonna hear from... NOW switch to ANOTHER part of the back, where it shows.....STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN COMING, with gym bag in hand!! COLE: KING, STONE COLD'S HERE!! THIS will be INTERESTING to hear what he has to say about what happened last night at Wrestlemania!! He was the LOSER to Queen Beryl in the Title Match!! This could also get UGLY in a HURRY!! They go to a break, then come back. BG: ARE YOU READY.... YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO.........YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO WEAR........YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER........WELL, YOU BETTER GET READY........TO BOW TO THE MASTERS......BREAK IT DOWN!!! All of DX, including Team Rocket, make their way to the ring. COLE: Oh, THIS is gonna get interesting in a hurry!! It was Team Rocket who, last night, got the job done against Ash, and because of THAT, they will face the winner of TONIGHTS Ackolytes vs. Sailor Venus and Jupiter TONIGHT on Raw is War at Unforgiven. KING: Well, last night, that was the darkest night of the CWF in THAT respect!! Ash was DEFEATED at the hands of Team SPROCKET!! COLE: That's Team ROCKET, King!! KING: I KNOW!! X-PAC: Okay, so we KNOW that Philidelphia,PA is down with DX!! Now, last NIGHT, I have to amit, Venus and Jupiter, you were a HELL of a team, and you raised the ROOF!! HOWEVER, our day WILL come, when we take those TITLES. ROAD DOGG: NOW, PHILI, LET'S MAKE SOME NOICE IN THIS BBBIIIIIAAACCCCCHHHHH!! [crowd cheers] OKAY, I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONCE, SO LISTEN UP....[crowd joins in] LLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES, D-GENERATION X, PROUDLY BRINGS TO YOU, I'M THAT R TO THE O TO THE A TO THE D!! I'M THAT D TO THE O TO THE DOUBLE- G, I'M THE ROAD DOGG, JESSIE JAMES!! [crowd cheers] NOW, TO THE BIACHES THAT MADE IT ALL HAPPEN LAST NIGHT, THEIR THE T TO THE A TO THE E TO THE M, THEIR THAT R TO THE O TO THE C-K-E TO THE K!! THEIR Y2TR, THEIR TEAM ROCKET!! COLE: YEAH!! KING: OHH NO!! DANIEL: NOW, PHILI, I WANT YOU TO RAISE THE ROOF OF THIS M.F.!! MAKE SOME NOICE!! [crowd cheers] NOW, LAST NIGHT, SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE SCREWED OVER, BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! WE'RE HERE TO STAY, SO...IF YOUR READY, I AM READY, JESSIE, JAMES, LETS, DO IT!! KING: OHH NO!!! JESSIE: OKAY, NOW LAST NIGHT, ASH THOUGHT THAT HE WAS GONNA MAKE US LEAVE, BUT IF HE THINKS FOR ONE MINUTE THAT WE'RE LEAVING THE CWF FOR ANYTHING, HE'S SADLY MISTAKEN!! AND THERE WAS EVERYTHING HAPPENING. HOWEVER, TONIGHT, I THINK WE BETTER...PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!! KING: OH NO!! COLE: KING, I'LL WAKE YOU UP!! I AM STARTING TO LIKE THIS SPEECH, THOUGH!! JAMES: AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT LITTLE, THEN MAKE IT DOUBLE!! JESSIE: TO PROTECT THE... They get interrupted by a sound, and then they look towards the Titantron!! A clock with the letters "Y2J" is on it, and it counts down. 9,8,7,6,... COLE: OH NO!! Jericho has the audassity to interrupt THESE two!! 3, 2, 1!! Then the lights go out and then, after a few seconds, pyros explode on the stage, then the Titantron starts, and soon it reads "Jericho"!! KING: ALL RIGHT!! COLE: I don't believe that Jericho interrupted Team Rocket, and we KNOW how THEY are to anyone who interruptes their speech. It continues for about 30 minutes, and then... JERICHO: WELCOME TO RAW IS JERICHO, ON A CHRIS JERICHO ROMANCE!! He then turns around to face the crowd and goes to the top of the ramp and stops. The music then stops after a minute or so of playing, and then he starts to speak. JERICHO: I am finally here!! Your SAVIOR has ARRIVED!! Y2J is here, and now I am here to save you from the BOREDOM and the snorefest that is these IDIOTS!! DX has been talking for about, let's say, 5 minutes, and ALREADY you have fled to the bathrooms to go, becuase they were so BORED with your ENDLESS SPEECHES!! It was when the most BORING, stupid snorefest of all came along, which was Team ROCKET, started THEIR speech, when I FIANLLY came to save you from what was to become the most BORING speech in the CWF's HISTORY!! And SPEAKING of WHICH, DX is not the only think that is BORING you!! Everyone in the BACK is so BORING, and so BLAND, that you are rushed back home, just to take a SNOOZE!! You are FORCED to CHEER these IDIOTS!! Last night was the WORST night of my LIFE!! Wrestlemaina!! HA HA HA!! What a WASTE of people's MONEY!! Wrestlemania had absolutly NO action, no SUPENSE, NOTHING!! COLE: OH PLEEZE!! What was Mercury flying off the top of the Titantron?!! KING: I disagree with THAT last comment, as WELL!! JERICHO: HOWEVER, I am FINALLY here!! Ringht now, I hear A Sa...oh, I almost forgot, A CHRIS JERICHO Romance, has CRASHED because they want to see ME!! They want to see a TRUE hero!! People want to cheer on a true hero, like Chris Jericho!! They want to chant GO, JERICHO, GO!! GO, JERICHO, GO!! There is a new MILLENIUM in the CWF, and CHRIS JERICHO is IT!! Crowd boos!! JESSIE: Hey, ASSHOLE!! [crowd cheers] COLE: WOAH!! JESSIE: Not ONLY did you bore US with YOUR speech, but you had the NERVE, you had the BALLS to interrupt OUR SPEECH!! COLE: UH OH!! I TOLD you so!! JESSIE: Now, you say that we have been boring these fans for the 5 minuites you said!! Well, I hate to TELL you, Jericho, but it wasn't US that was boring them, it was YOU!! [crowd cheers] DANIEL: Hey, M.F.!! I think you have it all WRONG!! You see, it's not US!! HELL, it was YOU who was boring even US, and WE'RE not too easy to BORE!! So, I'll tell you WHAT!! Let's SEE how BORING we ARE!! Come into this ring TONIGHT and I'll make SURE that we won't BORE them!! COLE: YEAH!! A challenge here TONIGHT!! Jericho vs. Daniel of Team Rocket!! JERICHO: You are not WORTHY of BEING in the same ring as someone like Chris JERICHO!! DANIEL: Basically what you are saying is that you're chicken [mike cuts off] ---- [mike comes on]!! [crowd cheers] COLE: OH MY!! KING: He can't say that, CAN HE?! COLE: He just DID!! JERICHO: Fine, if THAT'S what you want, then THAT'S what your gonna GET!! COLE: OH MY!! Jericho's in ring debut here TONIGHT on RAW!! JAMES: And now, I think that there is only thing to say to Chris Jericho, and you know we only...HAVE TWO WORDS FOR HIM!!! ALL IN RING AND CROWD: SUCK IT!! BG: BREAK IT DOWN!! [DX's music plays] COLE: So TONIGHT, it's gonna be Jericho vs. Daniel here tonight!! KING: Oh MY!! We're gonna see Jericho in the ring!! COLE: For the VERY first TIME, a WWF superstar makes his in ring debut in the CWF!! KING: I don't believe it!! COLE: KING, I'm ALSO getting word that coming up NEXT, Sailor Mercury will DEFEND her Hardcore Title vs. .....MANKIND!!! KING: Oh NO!! COLE: We'll be right back!! They go off the air. _____________________________________________________________ CWF WAR ZONE #5 RATING: R/TV-14 DLV DISCLAIMER: CHARACTERS, SPONSORS (ALTHOUGH NOT ACTUALLY SPONSERS) AND SUCH ARE THE PROPERTY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE COMPANIES!! E-MAIL: darkpowrjd@aol.com SPECIAL NOTE: If you are reading this BEFORE Sunday night at 8:00 P.M. EST, STOP NOW!! This would be the WAR ZONE the following night after Wrestlemania, the Ultimate War (that is, if you are GETTING Wrestlemania)!! This contains spoilers until that time!! ______________________________________________________________________ ANNOUNCERS: Michael Cole Jerry "The King" Lawler BACKSTAGE: The New Guy Serena Sommers Terry Taylor Kevin Kelly _______________________________________________________________________ They then come back. GLASS THEN SHATTERS, and Austin's music plays as he heads down the ramp. COLE: Welcome back to the War Zone, everybody!! And right now, the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin, is coming out, and God knows HE has something to say about last NIGHT at Wrestlemania!! It was Stone Cold who lost to Queen Beryl in the world title match, but he has been given all the credit in the WORLD for fighting like HELL, King!! KING; I haden't seen a match in the CWF like THAT!! That WAS a monumental matchup!! They BOTH gave it everything they HAD!! And although Beryl won, it took FOUR Psychadelic Drivers to put him away!! COLE: That is RIGHT, King, it DID take four Drivers from QB to win that match, but in MY opinion, it would've only took THREE Drivers if Triple H didn't get involved in the matchup!! But now Stone Cold Steve Austin is about to speak. AUSTIN: I'm gonna make this short and sweet!! Last night, Quenn Beryl PROVED to me that she was the toughest bitch to have EVER make a mark in the CWF!! I'll amit that I didn't think I was in for THAT much of a fight last night, but NOW, I am ready for just about ANYTHING, becuase last night, I gave it a LOT, but that tought little bitch had it goin' on THERE!! COLE: He's amitting that he was the beaten man last night!! AUSTIN: Now, I have to be real honest with you, I WILL get my chance at that title, and if I had to face ANYONE to get that title, Beryl, you're PROBABLY gonna be that little tough BITCH that I'm gonna FACE, although I don't give a DAMN WHO I face!! However, I had a little problem with a couple of people during the time that the CWF first DEBUTED to Wrestlemania!! I have had... Goku then enters on the stage. GOKU: WOAH WOAH WOAH!! COLE: That's Goku!! What the hell is THIS all about?! GOKU: Last NIGHT, you weren't a beaten man!! You were a DEAD man!! AUSTIN: Who the hell are you TALKING to?! GOKU: YOU!! You SEE, Austin, I've had a little PROBLEM with you ever since you first ARRIVED here in the CWF!! More IMPORTANTLY, when you got THAT close to becoming the CWF Championship!! AUSTIN: You talk the tough, but was it YOU who was beaten in 12 seconds by a son of a bitch in that tournament!! COLE: He was beaten by Edge in 12 SECONDS, a RECORD!! GOKU: I was DISTRACTED, and Edge was LUCKY!! HOWEVER, I am now ready to kick YOUR ass!! AUSTIN: So let me get this straight!! You want me to kick your ass!! GOKU: I can't WAIT to show you what a REAL SON OF A BITCH is all ABOUT!! COLE: UH OH!! KING: YEAH!! AUSTIN: I'll tell you WHAT!! Maybe you ARE a son of a bitch...but you are a SICK, SORRY SON OF A BITCH!!! So ANYTIME that you want to step into the ring, you come right ahead, and I'll beat your ass, like the sorry son of a bitch that you ARE, and THAT'S the bottom line... CROWD AND AUSTIN: BECAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!! [his music plays] COLE: WOW!! One can't tell when THAT will happen, but one can IMAGINE what THAT may be like!! KING: Well, I can tell you that Goku can beat him any day of the WEEK!! COLE: Well, coming up NEXT, the Ackolytes will be up against Sailor Venus and Jupiter, the winner is the Tag Team Champion, NEXT!! They go to a break, and then come back. The Ackolytes' music starts as they come out. COLE: Welcome back to the War Zone, and we are ready for Sailor Venus and Jupiter against the Ackolytes for the Tag Team Titles, which the Sailors won last night against X-Pac and Kane!! KING: We have seen a LOT tonight, and after the Ackolytes are done with THIS match, they may BE the NEXT CWF Tag Team Champions!! COLE: Also tonight, we have Chris Jericho against Daniel of Team Rocket tonight, and after he interrupted Team Rocket's speech, they MIGHT be looking to put Y2J into BED!! KING: That was Chris Jericho's BEST accomplishment YET!! COLE: And also, mankind against Sailor Mercury, the hardcore championship on the line, and I don't think ANYONE will be able to top what Merc did last night, as Sailor Venus and jupiter make THEIR way out into the arena, and HERE WE GO NOW!! The Ackolytes met Venus and Jupiter on the ramp, and into the ring now goes Venus, and now Bradshaw, takes Venus to the far side...AND A HELL OF A POWER SLAM BY THE BIG TEXAN, BRADSHAW, WHICH ALMOST TOOK VENUS' HEAD OFF!!! WWOOOWWW!!! KING: They may be the new champions, Michael!! COLE: Bradshaw now, with a body press, and look at this strength by Bradshaw!! And DOWN SHE COMES BACK TO EARTH!! bradshaw now, to the ropes, and here comes the ELBOW!! DOWN INTO THE STERNEM OF VENUS!! And now, a cover, and...A COUNT OF TWO THAT TIME, as Jupiter made the save, and now Bradshaw tags in Farroqq!! The Tag Team Titles up for grabs, and you have to wonder that Team Rocket is watching over this one closly, as they meet the Tag Champs at Unforgiven!! Folks, still to come here, as now Farroqq with a HELL OF A CLOSELINE to Venus!! Still to come, we have Chyna vs. Queen Beryl, the winner gets their type of Title Match at Unforgiven, Chyna is fighting for Triple H's Hardcore Rules Match, while Beryl wants a Negamatch!! Farroqq shoves Venus to the far side, and now...VENUS TELEGRAPHED THAT ONE WITH A KICK TO THE FACE, AND NOW LET'S SEE IF SHE CAN CAPALIZE ON IT!! Venus...TAGS JUPITER!! Smart move to tag in the fresh partner, and now, Jupiter sends Farroqq to the far side, missing with the closeline, to the near side, and sholder block by Farroqq. back to the ropes, over Jupiter, back now, leap frog now, coming back, and...OH MY GOD!! BACKBREAKER BY JUPITER, THAT COULD'VE TOOK FARROQQ OUT OF HIS GAME HERE!! The small of the back came down on the knee that time, and now Farroqq needs to tag out if he CAN!!! Faroqq, forced back up, and now, Jupiter, to the near side, and a SPINNING HEEL KICK!! Farroqq is in shock, as well he SHOULD be, that these girls are taking him to school, here!! KING: I can't believe it EITHER!! We may NOT have new tag champions!! COLE: And now Farroqq, despritly needing the tag!! Jupiter, tags in Venus, and now Jupiter, wanting to go after Bradshaw, and here we go now, Venus, wanting to put Farroqq away, to the near side, and now a JUMP ONTO THE NECK, TWIST, AND....HUNNICARANA, FALLING FORWARDS, AND FOLKS, THIS ONE'S OVER [ref counts out Farroqq, as the Sailors win] MY GOD!! The Sailors made the Ackolytes seem like CHILDS PLAY that time!! KING: I am STILL in shock!! this is TWICE now that we have seen those Sailors defeat the Ackolytes!! We msay need to keep a watch over THEM!! COLE: Wait a minute now, Bradshaw has the mike!! What's THIS all about?! BRADSHAW: You girls were LUCKY, because NO one beats the Ackolytes!! We WILL have our FAIR shots at the Titles!! COLE: So it's settled!! Venus and Jupiter are still the Tag Champs, and coming up next, Mankind, vs. Sailor Mercury!! [start CWF commercial (announcers from Wrestlemania flashbacks)] ANN.: A night to remember!! ROSS: ...[she falls into the dumpster preforming an elbow drop from the top of the Titantron]... SHE WENT FROM FIVE STORIES UP ON THAT TITANTRON INTO THE DUMPSTER!! ANN.: Defying the laws of all that is ordinary!! ROSS: PRINCE DIAMOND IS ACTING LIKE HE NEVER GOT SACRIFICED AT ANY POINT!! ...TUXEDO MASK HAS WON THIS THING, THANKS TO DIAMOND'S HELP HERE!! ANN.: And making dreams come true!! ROSS: 1...................................... 2 .........................................3!!! 3!!!!! 3!!!! [Mills Lane calls for the bell to end the match, and the Negaverse music starts playing] ... FINKLE: ...NNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW CARTOON WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, QUEEN BERYL!!! ...ROSS: ...ANOTHER LIFELONG DREAM HAS COME TRUE HERE!! ANN.: CWF Wrestlemania, the Encore Presentation!! This Tuesday only on Pay-Per-View!! [end CWF commercial] They go to a break, then come back. Mankind's entrance music plays. COLE: Welcome back to the War Zone, everybody, and now Mankind will go against Sailor Mercury in a Hardcore Championship match, and after what we had seen from her at Wrestlemania last night, I don't know HOW she's gonna top THAT, King!! KING: Well, I don't know THAT, but what I DO know is that Chef Boyardee presents CWF Unforgiven! Sunday, September 22nd from the Pepsi Arena in Albany!! Live, and exclusivly on Pay-Per-View!! Mercury's music plays. COLE: And here comes Sailor Mercury here!! She looks healthy for this matchup here, but we saw that last night, that she may have NOT been. She flew from about three stories UP on the very TOP of the Titantron, and did an ELBOW DROP into a DUMPSTER from that height on the Big Bossman, which, by the way, was the move that put the Bossman AWAY!! KING: You're not KIDDING!! I wouldn't do THAT if someone payed me a million dollars off the BAT, and in CASH!! She looked like she would've done it for FREE, Cole!! COLE: Well, here we go now, Mankind, with a series of rights, and now he's going to get a chair here, and he HITS HER WITH THAT STEEL CHAIR!! Mick Foley, with a hardcore past, he's had matches with barbed wire, he's wrestled on THUMB TACKS, BOMBS, and the LIKE!! And now Mick is going to Mercury's knee with that chair, and NOW what is he going for!! He got...A TABLE from under the ring!! KING: Oh MAN!! I LOVE these hardcore matches, Cole, and THIS is one of the reason's WHY!! COLE: A lot of respect is given for the superstars who put their BODIES on the line in these types of matches, as Mankind now, is setting up that table, and...WAIT A MINUTE!!! Look who's up on the ramp!! It's...AL SNOW!! KING: OH NO!! What's THAT idiot doing out here?!! COLE: He doesn't have Pepper with him, though, so I guess he doesn't have GUIDANCE!! KING: Oh PLEEZE!! COLE: Al Snow is coming to the RING here, and NOW, what's HE doing!! WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S MERCURY'S FAVORITE WEAON, A FRYING PAN, AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE. MANKIND, TO THE NEAR SIDE, AND MISSES, AND...AL SNOW HIT MICK WITH THAT FRYING PAN. I DON'T THINK MERCURY KNOWS WHAT JUST HAPPENED, AS SNOW HAS JUST THROWN THAT FRYING PAN INTO THE RING, AND NOW WHAT IS HE DOING. HE'S GOT PART OF THOSE STEEL STEPS, AND NOW THOSE GO INTO THE RING!! MERCURY, ON THE TABLE WITH MICK!! DDT ON THE TABLE, AND THE THING SNAPPED IN HALF, AND FOLKS, THIS ONE'S OVER!! [the ref counts down Mankind, and the winner is Mercury, as her music plays] MERCURY IS THE WINNER, GIVE THE ASSIST, I GUESS, TO AL SNOW, AND WHAT IS SNOW DOING NOW!! SNOW: Hey, CUTIE!! COLE: CUTIE?! SNOW: You look very SENSUAL tonight!! COLE: What in the WORLD...?! KING: Don't ask ME!! SNOW: I don't think I can sweet talk you into a Hardcore Title Match at Unforgiven, CAN I?! COLE: WOAH!! I don't think I NEED to!! MERCURY: Hey, if you WANT it...YOU'VE GOT IT!!! COLE: YEAH!! I don't BELIEVE it!! The Hardcore Title on the line at Unforgiven, and one can IMAGINE how Al Snow's gonna get ready for THAT one!! KING: I don't WANT to!! I already KNOW Al Snow's a few beers short of a six pack, and Mercury is brave, STUPID, but BRAVE, to give HIM a Title match!! COLE: Look what's coming up NEXT, King!! Daniel of Team Rocket, vs. Chris Jericho, NEXT!! They go to a break, then come back. BG: (LET'S ROCK IT) TEAM ROCKET, BLAST OFF, AND GONNA KICK SOME ASS (DX)...YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO (YEAH)...YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL US WHAT TO WEAR (HA HA HA)(WEAR IT DOWN)...YOU THINK THAT YOUR BETTER (YEAH) ...WELL, YOU BETTER GET READY TO BOW TO THE MASTERS (SSSSSSSSSSSSSUCK IT)!! Daniel comes out to the song. COLE: Welcome back to Raw is War, everybody, and now it's gonna be Daniel and Chris Jericho going at it, and now it's time for Jericho to come out [Jericho's music plays] And here come's Chris..WAIT A MINUTE!! Sailor Mars just came up and hit him from behind, and now she's going after Jericho here!! We KNOW that these two don't LIKE each other, and now it is SHOWING here!! Intho the ring goes the two, and now Daniel is joining in the assult on Chris Jericho!! And now Mars, WITH A BIG TIME RIGHT HAND, THERE, and the damage has been done, and the fans here love what the Intercontinental Champion did to the man who was insulting the CWF earlier tonight!! KING: THAT'S not over, I can guarantee you THAT much!! COLE: Well, King, we have only ONE more match, and that is Chyna vs. Queen Beryl, winner gets their type of World Title Match at Wrestlemania, and that match is NEXT!! [start CWF commercial] ANN.: Do you really think that you are worthy of being FORGIVEN?!! SERENA: ... Beryl just flew five feet off of that stage, and into a table!! Beryl is down, and she needs help FAST!!... ANN.: YEAH RIGHT!!! EVERYBODY IS UNFORGIVEN!! CWF UNFORGIVEN, PRESENTED BY CHEF BOYARDEE!! LIVE, SEPTEMBER 19 FROM THE PEPSI ARENA IN ALBANY, NEW YORK, ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!! [end CWF commercial] They then go to a break, then come back. BG: ONE TWO...IS THIS ON!! Chyna comes out to her music. COLE: We have taken our final commercial break, and we will stay with this as LONG as we can, here!! Chyna vs. Queen Beryl, and if Chyna wins this match, Triple H will have a Hardcore Rules Match for the Title at Unforgiven, but if QB wins, then she will have the match in the Negaverse, and as history TELLS us, QB is UNDEFEATED in the Negamatches, King!! KING: Well, it only takes ONE time, although she probably won't have to WORRY about being defeated in the Negamatches, because Chyna can get it DONE!! A Hardcore Match lies in the FUTURE for Unforgiven!! COLE: Well, Chyna is in the ring, and [Negaverse music plays] Here she comes, and SHE'S charging the ring, and here we go, as the ref rings the bell here!! Beryl now, with Chyna, to the ropes, and BACK BODY DORP from the start here, and this may be a QUICK victory for QB here, as Chyna now, back up, and...OH NO!! Triple H is coming out here!! He's coming towards the ring!! KING: He just wants to ge up close to the action!! COLE: Beryl now has Chyna, to the near side, and a HELL of a backbreaker!! WOW!! KING: Oh NO!! COLE: Wait a minute, Triple H is coming inand he just NAILED QB from behind, and this will be a blatiant DQ here!! RING ANN.: Your winner of the match, as a result of a disqualification, Queen Beryl!! COLE: And that means a negamatch for Unforgiven, but Triple H, here, doing a number on the Negaverse Queen here!! KING: Stomp on her, Triple H!! COLE: Triple H now, to the outside of the ring here, and to the spanish announcing table, and now Triple H on the table, and...DDT THAT BROKE THE TABLE!! Triple H now, back into the ring, and...KNEE BREAKER, on that injured leg of Beryl!! He's targeting that leg that he injured last NIGHT at Wrestlemania, here!! Triple H...OH NO, not the CHAIR again!! Wrapping that thing on Beryl's injured leg, and now to the...TOP TURNBUCKLE!! NO NO NO!![he stomps down on the chair, forcing it to clamp down as hard as it can on Beryl's injured leg] MY GOD!! I heard it snap right HERE, and now, to the ring pole there, and now, wrapping her legs around that pole, and...FIGURE FOUR on the pole there, and Beryl is SCREAMING!! Come on, STOP THIS!! Is THIS what is in STORE for Unforgiven!! KING: Her leg has GOTTA be SHATTERED here, Cole!! I'm kinda CONVINCED that Triple H can become the CHAMPION, here!! COLE: He's trying to snap that leg in HALF here!! Serena said that if Triple H was in THIS state of mind, he may be a CWF Champion, but NOW even I have to say that that may be TRUE, and may happen at Unforgiven!! Triple H is clamping on that leg, SOMEBODY STOP THIS!! They go off the air with that. _________________________________________________ Well, how do you like THAT!! What HAPPENED?!! I guess this is the CWF's version of a CLIFFHANGER!! Sunday Night Heat next week will give you information of what happened when Raw went off the air!! Until then, e- mail me for Unforgiven Pay-Per-View!! And thanks to everyone who made Wrestlemania a SUCCESS!!