**********
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon is copyrighted 1992 by Naoko 
Takeuchi.  All except the characters I created belong
to her.  I'm just borrowing them for awhile :-)
*********
How to Date a Sailor Senshi!
Part One - The Book
by DQBunny

Any and all comments can be directed to dqbunny@juno.com.  
All flames shall be redirected to the little trash monster
on my laptop.

Rated PG13 for dealing with some sexual content.  Read it
with your parents!  You can learn some important lessons
in this little comedy!
*********

"I can't believe you're all excited about going to a 
bookstore," Usagi muttered, lagging behind her friends as
they walked down the street toward the new Barnes and Noble
that had just opened up in Tokyo.  In fact, it was the 
one to open up in Japan.

"But, they have all types of books there, Usagi-chan," Ami
said.  "Even manga!"  That got a big smile from her friend
with the odango perched on her head.

"Not to mention cute guys!" Rei added.

"I don't need a cute guy," Usagi pointed out.  "I've got
Mamo-chan."

Rei groaned.  "Do you have to remind us of that every 
single day?"

"Yes, I do, so you won't forget," Usagi saucily tossed back
at Rei.

"Easy, easy, now," Makoto said, coming in between the two.
"Let's try to act like the 16-year-olds we're suppose to 
be."

Usagi and Rei tried to object, but they had reached the
store by then.  They immediately headed for a large manga
section while Makoto, Minako, and Ami wandered down aisles
of books about self improvement and relationships.

"How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci," Minako read off the
titles of one of the books.

"Easy, your name is Mizuno Ami," Makoto threw a grin over
to their shy friend, who blushed at Makoto's words.

"How about this one about conquering shyness, Ami-chan?"
Minako asked, pulling another book off the shelf.

"No thank you," Ami said quietly.  Yet, when Minako and
Makoto turned the other way, she quickly took it off the
bookshelf.

Minako had wandered over to the next shelf of books by 
this time, and held up a smaller paperback and waved over
to Ami and Makoto.  "Hey, you guys!  Come take a look at
this!"

Makoto walked over and read the cover of the book.  "How to
Marry the Man of Your Choice."

"Man?  Someone said marry a man?"  All of a sudden, Rei and
her boy-sensitive ears picked up the title of the book, ran
across the length of the store, and snatched the book out 
of Minako's hands.  Usagi followed her, her nose buried in
a volume of manga.  She narrowly avoided walking into the
bookcase.

Makoto took down another copy of the book.  "It looks 
pretty interesting.  It tells you the twenty places where
you can meet a man to marry and how being a 'bitch' can
make him fall in love with you."

"That should be no problem for Rei-chan then!" Usagi
exclaimed, snapping her book shut.

Rei immediately turned on her.  "What did you say, Odango
Atama?"

"See?"

They carried their books over to a group of chairs, and 
plopped down in them.  Rei, Minako, and Makoto had the
how to marry a man book while Ami had the volume on
conquering shyness.  Usagi carried over a couple of
magazines and several volumes of manga.  They sat in
relative silence as they scanned through their books.

"It says here that your job is one of the best places to
meet people," Makoto read aloud.

"There's only one man who works with us, and Usagi-chan has
him already," Minako replied.  

"The bookstore is the second best place," Makoto kept 
reading.

"WHERE?  WHERE?" Rei and Minako bounced up, scanning the
area as if they had radar built in their minds.

Makoto sweatdropped.  "Easy, easy.  They're not just going
to come walking up to you."

Minako settled in her chair and flipped through the book.
"It also tells you how to make sure the man you meet is
the right one, and also how to get him to fall in love
with you.  And, also advice on when to do 'it'."  Minako
closed the book for a moment, and gave Usagi a thoughtful
glance.  "Say, Usagi-chan?"

"Hmmm...?" Usagi replied, not looking up from her manga.

"When did you and Mamoru-san first do 'it'?" Minako asked
as innocently as possible.

Makoto, Rei, and Ami all face faulted.  "Minako-chan, that
is just plain rude," Rei muttered.

"Nani?"  Usagi looked up to see her friends practically
flipping out.  "What's 'it'?  I don't think I've done 'it'
yet."

"'It'?  You haven't done 'it' yet?" Minako cried.

"Usagi-chan, you two have been dating for more than two
years!" Makoto protested.  "You mean to say you still 
haven't done 'it'?"

"Nani nani?"  Usagi glaced around with a blank look on her
face.  "What is 'It'?"

Everyone sweatdropped, while Ami's face remained beet red.
"You mean you don't know what 'it' is?" Rei moaned.

"It?"

"The book says that if you delay having 'it' for too long, 
then he will probably be unwilling to marry you," Minako
read.  She glanced up from the book.  "Is two years too
long?"

"I'll say," Makoto answered, getting her own copy of the 
book out, and flipping through the pages.  "It says if
'it' doesn't begin after awhile, then something is wrong
with the relationship."

"That means something is wrong with Usagi-chan's 
relationship!" Minako declared.

"There's nothing wrong with my relationship with Mamo-
chan," Usagi muttered under her breath, but her friends
ignored her.

"If you had a boyfriend, when would you do 'it' with him?"
Minako asked Makoto.

"The book says a good time to start 'it' would be after
twelve dates," Makoto replied.  "Yes, if I loved him the way
Usagi-chan and Mamoru-san love each other, I would 
definitely do 'it' with him."

"That settles it then," Rei said.  "Usagi, you and Mamoru-
san have to do 'it', or the possibility will exsist that 
your entire relationship will go poof!"

"Poof?" Usagi asked, imaging Mamoru disappearing in a big
puff of smoke.

"Poof," Rei nodded.

Tears gathered in Usagi's eyes.  "But...but...BUT I DON'T
WANT MAMO-CHAN TO GO POOF!" she cried, attracting the 
attention of more than half the store.  All the other girls
promptly sweatdropped.

"Then all you have to do is 'it'!" Minako exclaimed.

"WHAT IS 'IT'?" Usagi yelled, causing the rest of the store
to glance over their way.  Ami grasped her friend's arm,
pulled her ear down near her mouth, and whispered in her
ear.  After a moment, Usagi got beet red, and she clasped
her hands over her mouth.

"Now do you know what 'it' is?" Minako asked.  Usagi simply
nodded in reply.

"It says here that sex is predominant in the thoughts of
most normal men," Makoto read aloud.  "The sex drive must
be satisfied in order for the couple to be physically 
comfortable around each other."

"Poor Mamoru-san," Minako said.  "Sometimes, he looks like
he can hardly stand to be near Usagi-chan.  He must be 
really uncomfortable!"

"Minna, why can't you do this to someone else?" Usagi
moaned.

"Because you're the only one of us who has an interesting
love life, and I get nauseous thinking of Naru and Umino
together," Minako replied.

Rei had found the chapter in her own book, and read ahead
of where Makoto had been reading.  "It says if you postpone
the sexual relationship too long, then the relationship
will most likely wither away and die.  Poof!"

Usagi had a sinking feeling in her.  Still, she had been
curious about 'it' for awhile.  She knew other high school
couples did 'it'.  Even Motoki and Reika did 'it'...she
thought.  Either that, or Motoki had a new thing for 
small foil packets containing odd-shaped balloons falling
out of his wallet when he pulled it out that one time.

But, she did not want Mamo-chan to find someone else just
because of 'it'.  Besides, look at Chibi-Usa!  Her very
exsistence was at stake here!  Usagi grew very serious, and
gave Rei, Minako, and Makoto her full attention.

"Tell me what I need to do," she said.

In the other chair, Ami simply buried her face in her book.