You Don't Remember How I Feel By Doug Helm and "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl Those characters that are original and the story "You Don't Remember How I Feel" are copyrighted (c) 1999 by Douglas Helm & Will Wolfshohl. This fanfic and hundreds of other Sailor Moon fanfics reside in "Tuxedo" Will's SM Fanfics Archive at http://members.xoom.com/questails/gateway.htm and http://rivendell.fortunecity.com/traveller/861/ Send comments to: Douglas "Candle Light Author" Helm (dhelm@log.on.ca) or "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl (wwolfshohl@logicon.com) Chapter 12 - Understanding After completing their homework that afternoon, Usagi and Misako went outside to play, leaving their parents in relative peace. Serenity watched her small children play through the bay window for a few moments before turning back to Endymion. "May I ask you something?" Endymion seemed a little surprised but nodded. He got up from his place on the couch and moved to stand beside his wife. Serenity turned back to the window for a moment to make sure that her daughters were away from the window before looking up at her husband. "What is it, Serenity?" Endymion inquired when he saw the concern and worry written on her face. Serenity clasped her hands in front of her and asked, "Why didn't you stop me, Endymion?" "Nani?" "Why did you let me ruin this family?" She saw he was about to speak so added, "You gave your word to be truthful, Endymion." Endymion closed his mouth and glanced away from her. Serenity felt her stomach begin to knot. "Endymion..." "Serenity," Endymion began while taking her hands in his, "I think there are two reasons. Firstly, despite the fact that we are supposed King and Queen, you sometimes treat me like I'm not your equal." She just stared at him, then started to open her mouth to deny such a crazy idea. "How many times has the Senshi Council wanted to hear MY ideas?" Serenity slowly closed her mouth. "The second reason is that I trusted you." A smile touched his lips fleetingly. "My Usako wouldn't have even tolerated Misako being hurt. So, I trusted you because I thought your heart would stop you." Serenity gave him a pained expression so Endymion continued on, "Serenity... you asked if I thought you were responsible. I don't think that's the right question to ask." "Nani?" Serenity asked, "I don't understand what you mean." "I am as responsible as you are, as the Senshi Council is, or Sailor Pluto. All of us decided long ago that we'd make Misako's and, to a lesser extent, Usagi's life miserable. But for what?" He held up his hand and said, "We were going to avoid that question for the moment. What I meant, though, is I would ask what actions were part of this wedge and which were not?" Serenity was silent for a long moment before she said, "You mean there are things that I did on my own." She moved closer and Endymion hugged her. "Gomen nasai, Endymion." Tears stung her eyes as he gently kissed her. "That's so gross!" came the high-pitched voice of Usagi. Serenity jumped and turned around to find her two six year old daughters by the doorway. "Come see the clouds!" Usagi requested, "We're gonna get a storm!" Her eyes were large and nervous looking. "You go on," Serenity directed and pushed Endymion towards the door, "I need some time alone to think." Usagi looked like she was about to make a smart remark but a warning look from her father stifled it. After they had gone outside to look at the approaching storm clouds, Serenity hugged herself and felt both terror and anticipation. ****** Usagi and Misako, having just finished their baths and changed for bed, were sitting on the couch waiting for their parents. Usagi hugged her stuffed bunny to her chest and tried not to giggle but couldn't help it. Misako gave her a curious look and asked, "I thought you didn't want to be a six year old." "Nani?" Usagi asked with a giggle. "What gives with the bunny rabbit, 'Sagi-chan? Yesterday, you said you didn't need it." Misako hugged her teddy bear and was just as glad Usagi had her own stuffed animal although she'd hate to admit it. Giving her sister a broad smile, Usagi replied, "Well... I thought about it, Imouto, and you're right. Why be miserable about something we can't change, ne?" She giggled again and continued, "One part of me thinks it's silly though." "Hai, I know, Onee-chan," Misako admitted while giving a giggle herself. Usagi yawned and then turning around on the couch, asked, "Ne, what's takin' so long, Dad?!?" "Just a minute!" Endymion called back from the kitchen. Usagi turned around and flopped onto the couch. Yawning a little, she hugged her stuffed bunny and felt her eyes starting to get heavy. ****** Both Endymion and Serenity jerked awake when something small and screaming burst into their room. At first, Serenity wasn't sure what it was, and then she realized that it was Usagi. Serenity was just beginning to open her arms when the small girl scrambled onto the bed and nearly dove towards her father. Endymion arrested his daughter's motion by hugging her. "Kami-sama, Small Lady, what's the matter?" Serenity asked. Usagi didn't say anything, just nervously looked upwards. It was then that the Royal Couple heard the rumbling of thunder. A flash of lightning lit the room brilliantly for a moment before plunging it into deep darkness. Serenity felt her heart speed up but not all of it was fear. She felt scared now that she knew thunder was overhead. She moved closer to Endymion when the room was lit by lightning and another peal of thunder boomed overhead. However, she also felt excitement. "It's all right, Usagi-chan," Endymion soothed while holding the small girl close to him. The previous evening, he and Serenity had came out of the kitchen carrying a small bedtime snack for the girls and discovered that Usagi had already drifted off to sleep. Not wanting to wake her, Endymion had gently picked her up and carried her off to her bed. "Where's Misako?!" Usagi asked, her voice sounded fearful and concerned. "In her own bed," Serenity answered, "But I'll go check." Giving her eldest daughter a quick hug, Serenity slid from her bed and padded out of the bedroom. Serenity thought with a small smile as she quietly opened Misako's door and saw her other daughter sitting by the window looking out at the storm. "Miko-chan," she called out softly. Misako whirled around and in a flash of lightning, Serenity could see the guilty expression on the little girl's face. "Mom... the storm woke me up." Gathering her courage, Serenity walked over to the window and lifting her daughter up, sat down. She then put Misako on her lap and wrapped her arms around the child. "I know... Is it a good storm?" "Aren't you scared, Mom?" Misako asked somewhat surprised. "Sure, I am," Serenity replied, "But I was you, ne?" She hugged Misako and felt secure. She smoothed some of Misako's loose hair and said, "I tried to cheer up my onee but she got really scared." Misako giggled a little which brought a smile to Serenity's lips. "Then everybody came to me," Misako remarked, "Everybody wanted to spend the night." "Hai," Serenity agreed. She rested her cheek gently on the top of Misako's head while thinking, She still felt fear when she heard the thunder clap overhead but for only the second time in her life, she could sit and enjoy something that typically scared her. There was a long moment of silence where only the rain and the thunder could be heard and then, Misako said something so softly that Serenity almost didn't hear her, "I was needed then." The child's voice sounded pained yet wistful at the same time. Serenity felt her eyes starting to moisten. Giving a little sniffle, she straightened and turned Misako around. "Ne, Miko-chan, do you think you're needed now?" Misako just shrugged and said, "What can I do now? I'm just a little kid." She looked out at the darkness for a moment and then continued softly, "I don't even need to be a Senshi. There are all sorts of Younger Senshi around. Mizuno-sensei doesn't think I'm important either." "And why do you think that?" Serenity asked. "Have you looked at our history books, Mom?" Misako asked, "The one Mizuno-sensei uses in class only mentions me four times, even called me obnoxious! Do you know how often Onee-chan is mentioned?" "Iie, but I'm sure you'll tell me," Serenity said with a little sigh. "Two hundred and thirty-six times," Misako replied and then shrugged, "It's silly I guess, Mom." "I know 'Sagi did a lot more than me. I don't even know why I went back into the past; it didn't do any good anyways." Before her mother could respond, she added, "I know Atsuko needs me at least." Serenity detected a note of doubt but she wasn't about to hold a discussion in the middle of the night. "Miko-chan, could I stay with you tonight?" Serenity asked. "Honto?" Misako asked when Serenity nodded, Misako smiled a little and nodded her head. They spent the next little bit watching the storm and Misako fell asleep in her mother's arms. Serenity tucked the little girl into bed before lying down beside her, Serenity thought, But Misako's resignation to what had happened bothered Serenity deeply. After she had settled herself beside her daughter, the small girl snuggled closer and used her mother's arm as a pillow. Serenity's eyes misted as she remembered back to the past and the few times Misako had slept in her bed. Serenity wondered, After a few moments more, the storm finally abated and only the soft pattering of rain could be heard. She then slipped quietly into slumber. ****** Misako's eyes sprang open early that morning. At first, she wondered why she had woken up but then, she realized she was in desperate need of the bathroom. Grumbling, not only because she had to carefully extract herself from her mother's warm embrace but also that she had to get up at all, the little girl made her way quickly to the bathroom. After freshening up, Misako came out and crawled back onto the bed. She looked down at her mother and saw Serenity smiling. A taste almost like bile rose in her mouth and she had difficulty swallowing. Tears welled up in her eyes and she gave an almost inaudible sob. Misako thought, Nothing would ever change. How many times had she thought things were fine only to be hurt once more by her mother's lies? She felt anger building as she looked down at the soft smile on Serenity's face. All her plan had accomplished was to make it likely that she'd be tried for treason and spend the rest of her life in prison. Moving off the bed, she ran as quietly from the room as possible. She wiped away at her tears as she thought, But how? She couldn't go into her parents' bedroom. Her father was in there and she had heard Usagi run in there as well. That increased her anger. Crossing her arms, she tapped her lower lip in concentration while staring up at the ceiling. After a few moments, an idea came to her. Yes, that would be suitable. Turning, she marched down the hall and into the living room. She wasn't going to wreck her sister's picture but its disappearance would certainly throw her mother into a titter. She cocked her head and stared up above the fireplace mantle. Moving closer, Misako observed Usagi's picture of the both of them she had drawn and won an award for but then, she saw something she had tucked away in a drawer. Or at least, she thought she had. Misako had won a gold medal in a regional competition shortly after she returned from the past. It was mounted inside a picture frame. The frame also contained a picture of herself in her gymnastics' outfit. Indignation quickly followed realization as Misako thought in rage, Looking around for a chair she could move, she thought grimly, Getting up and onto the stone mantle above the fireplace was the easy part for Misako. What fear she had was suppressed by her anger. In addition, the brickwork afforded her hands and feet holds that her small size could use easily. It was when she came face to face with the picture that she started having second thoughts. But this had to be some type of trick by her mother. Sure, it had been in a dresser drawer but it was still her stuff. She grabbed the picture frame and tugged. Some common sense took a hold of her then; she was several feet off the floor with no mat. she told herself as she glanced over her shoulder and gulped. Her anger slipped for a moment and that's when the internal struggle truly began. One part wanted the picture to stay; the other wanted it to go. ****** It was a lance of early morning sunlight that awakened Neo-Queen Serenity. She opened her eyes and then shut them tightly. Groaning, she slowly opened her eyes again. At first, she was confused about where she was and then remembered that she was in Misako's room. She also noticed that Misako wasn't around. Sitting up, she looked around and noticed that the room was empty. "Miko-chan?" she asked. There was no response. She glanced at the clock and saw it was about six. Scrubbing her eyes, she got up and wandered into Misako's bathroom. After a few minutes, she came out feeling more refreshed. she thought, Padding out of the room, she crossed the short distance to the master bedroom and softly opened the door partially closed door. She smiled as she saw Usagi curled up beside her father. Just like she had in the past. Endymion was almost in danger of falling out of bed. Which reminded her of why she had gone into the master bedroom in the first place. Picking up her robe, she put it on before putting her slippers on. Quietly leaving the room, she closed the door. She was just wondering where to start looking for Misako when she heard a noise from the living room. How Misako could get up so early in the morning, Serenity didn't know but that was one thing she wished she had been able to do as Usagi. Serenity came out to the living room and got a shock. Misako was not watching television. Instead, Misako was standing on the stone mantle over the fireplace and seemed to be trying to remove a picture of herself. "Great Serenity's Ghost!" Serenity exclaimed. The little girl gave a startled jump but somehow, she managed to keep her balance. "What are you doing?!" Serenity demanded as she moved over to the mantle. "Getting rid of this!" Misako answered matter of factly as she ripped the picture off the wall. She brandished it towards her mother who recognized it -- the picture of Misako in her gymnastic outfit and her first gold medal. "Give that to me, Misako," Serenity directed, "I put that up there so that guests could see it." She stared sternly, and with considerable shock, up at the little girl. Misako's face was streaked with tears and her cheeks were red, either from crying or from anger. "Forget it!" Misako shot back and flung the picture across the room. It crashed into the opposite wall and shattered. She rubbed at her eyes to get the tears out of them. "Come down here, this instant, young lady!" Serenity demanded and held out her arms. Misako would have been defiant but she realized the position she was in so she allowed her mother to help her down. "Now, why did you get rid of it? I thought it would look nice beside Usagi's..." "You're just tryin' to suck up, Okaa-san," Misako interrupted tersely. "You never cared about MY gymnastics so you shouldn't try to care about them now. You MADE me give it up. I can't see why you'd want something around that embarrassed you." "It didn't embarrass me," Serenity countered. "What a load of bull!" Misako shouted. "Misako, don't get angry. Remember we promised we wouldn't get upset," Serenity reminded her. Misako's face twisted itself into a disgusted look. "Now, I'm willing to talk about this but you can't get angry." "Why talk?" Misako said coldly, "It's too late now, Okaa-san. I can't go to Nationals. That's what YOU wanted so there's nothin' to talk about." She heard a noise and glancing over at the doorway, she saw that Usagi and Endymion were peering curiously into the room. "So don't tell me you wanted something for guests to see. That picture of 'Sagi's is your pride and joy and it's been up there since she was little. Don't try and lie about wanting to put something of mine up!" "Misako..." Serenity began, her voice thick with emotion, as tears started to slide down her cheeks. She reached out for her daughter but the little girl pulled away. She sniffled and watched as Misako stomped across the room, picked up the remains of the picture and medal before pushing past her shocked father and sister. Serenity saw Endymion start towards her but she shook her head. Taking a shuddering breath, she said softly, "I have to handle this." Being comforted by Endymion wouldn't do Misako any good and that's who was hurting more at the moment. "Usagi-chan, give your sister and me some time, okay?" "Hai," Usagi agreed, her own voice showing her feelings. And that worried her. She watched as her mother walked down the hallway before being led away by her father. This would be a real test of her mother's resolve. ****** Misako angrily scrubbed at her eyes, trying to get the tears out of them. She was standing by the window, looking out into the backyard. Misako wondered as she looked at the now ragged picture in her hand. She heard a knock at the door but she ignored it. "Misako?" came the voice of her mother as the door opened. "Go 'way," Misako quipped simply and continued to gaze out the window. She heard her mother enter the room and the door being closed so she turned around. She saw the tears on her mother's cheeks and for an instant, her heart went out to her mother in sympathy. It was only an instant though because Misako crushed the sympathy with her anger, frustration, and bitterness. "So... Okaa-san, corner time or are you going to spank me?" Serenity blinked in confusion and asked, "Nani?" "The only reason you'd come in here would be to punish me," Misako deduced. She had this irrational need to hurt her mother. She knew she couldn't ever take one from Serenity though, not with things the way they were. Maybe she'd be able to have Serenity and Usagi forgive each other by the end of this session of bonding. At least, Usagi would be happy. Serenity, who hadn't moved from near the door, took a step forward and said in a soft but strain filled voice, "I'm not going to punish you, Misako. We gave our word as Sailor Senshi we wouldn't get upset at things we heard this week." "Then why'd you come in here, Okaa-san?" Misako ranted, "I'm not going to let you have this. You never, ever cared about my gymnastics, not even in the past." "Can I sit down?" When Misako shrugged, her mother moved over to the edge of the bed and sat down. "I came in here for a couple of reasons. The first one is to tell you that your onee, in no way, shape, or form, had anything to do with me making you give up gymnastics." "Nothing?" Misako asked dubiously, "Come on, Okaa..." Misako halted and took a few shaky breaths to calm herself. Feeling a little more in control of herself, she began again, "Mom, that could be the only reason. Usagi couldn't do it, so YOU decided I shouldn't either." "That isn't true, Mesume," Serenity argued, "I was the one that convinced your father, along with Kimeko's help, to let you take gymnastics in the first place." Misako looked even more dubious at that statement. Her dad had always supported her. "Miko-chan, I give you my word of honor, Usagi had nothing to do with my decision." "Then why?!?" Misako demanded through tears. "I was afraid you'd burn yourself out," Serenity admitted, "You were trying to do more than I thought you could handle. You had gymnastics practice, Senshi practice, and your schoolwork. Misako, you were falling asleep at the dining room table. A couple of weeks ago, both your father and I noticed a light from under your door way past lights out. When we came in, you were passed out over your homework." "My grades were just as good as Usagi's... even better," Misako remarked coldly. She glared at her mother for a long moment, then continued, "Or is it 'cause Usagi couldn't..." "Tsukino Misako!" Serenity answered sharply, "I've told you Usagi had nothing to do with my decision. Don't blame your onee for something I did!" "I'm not," Misako said softly, "But... Mom, if that's true, then why didn't you just let me quit being a Sailor Senshi? I told you last night I didn't need to be one. They're lots around." Sure, Usagi would be disappointed but her sister was a better Senshi. She looked at the ground and asked, "Don't you want me to have friends?" There was something more here than gymnastics. After a moment, she decided to forego the first question and answer the last one. "You do have friends, Miko-chan," her mother answered just as softly, "Misako, I put a stop to your gymnastics because I thought you were taking on too much. First, you lose sleep and then, your grades slip, and you've always been proud of your grades, ne?" "Yeah," Misako admitted reluctantly. Licking her lips, Serenity ventured on gently, "It might hurt but you'll never make a career out of gymnastics." Pausing, she continued, "When your coach called me..." "Nani?!?" Misako asked sharply. "When your coach called me," Serenity began anew with some apprehension, "We talked about how much work you'd have to put in to move to the senior level and your potential for the future. I decided that it would be best if you concentrated on your Senshi duties." Misako's reaction was both unexpected and violent. She grabbed up a book that was nearby and flung it at her mother. Serenity dodged and lunging for Misako, hugged the little girl close to her. "LET ME GO!" Misako howled while trying to wriggle out of Serenity's embrace. "YOU decided! Whatever happened to MY decision? It's MY life you were playing with!" She stopped her wriggling long enough to glare up at her mother and demanded, "What makes you think I wouldn't give up gymnastics?!?" "You're a princess and there are certain things expected of them." The little girl suddenly slumped against Serenity. Through her own pounding heart, she could hear Misako's crying. It torn at her like a knife. "Yeah, like not making waves for their onee," Misako remarked snidely. She knew the drill. She was second banana to Usagi. "Are you going to stop throwing things?" "Hai," Misako said sulkily. Serenity nodded and allowed Misako to stand up. Serenity moved back a little but kept within arm's reach. "As I said before, Miko-chan," Serenity began with a hint of exasperation, "It has nothing to do with your sister." "Look, MOM, all of this was about splitting me 'n' 'Sagi up so it DOES have to do with 'Sagi," Misako reasoned. "I love 'Sagi very much but just because I got a little more grace than her, shouldn't mean I should give up something I love." Serenity shook her head and countered by saying, "Even if we were a happy family, Miko-chan, I still would have made the same decision." "Nani?" Misako asked with some surprise. "I would have still made the same decision," Serenity repeated, "I'm sorry I didn't handle it in the way I should have. I should have talked it over with you and I'm very sorry for not doing so. Gomen nasai." She tried to smile but Misako's glower stopped her. "I love you, Miko-chan... I was concerned about you. I know that it might be hard to believe but I was and still am." "What about the picture then?" Serenity sighed a little then. She had saw the gold medal just sitting in a drawer and just yesterday, did she ever think of displaying it. She and Endymion had placed the picture and medal up while the girls were in bed. "Oh Misako, I thought you'd like having that gold medal of your up to show people. I know how proud you are of it." "Show's how much you know!" Misako shot back, "I hate the thing. You probably rigged a judge or two." Serenity put a firm grip on her rising temper and continued on smoothly, "I thought it would be nice to put a picture with it. I should have asked you but I wanted it to be a surprise. Gomen nasai. I just kept seeing that one picture of Usagi's and thinking how badly I treated you and I wanted to do something to fix it." Misako's shoulders slumped in defeat and she stared at the floor for a long time. Misako thought, She'd been fooling herself. There had been no way she could have gone to Nationals. Maybe she was fooling herself as a Sailor Senshi too. "So what do you want?" Misako asked, "I'm not going to be happy about you making me give up gymnastics." "Can I have the picture back?" "Iie," Misako replied, "You've always had Usagi's picture up there. It can stay up there by itself." Serenity gave a sigh of exasperation and looked sternly at her youngest daughter, "I don't think Usagi would be very offended." "Just go away," Misako replied, "You've won, okay Mom? So 'Sagi isn't involved and you would have done this whether you loved me or not. I'm not going to let you have this. You don't even know what it means to me or what it doesn't mean to me." "Is there another award you'd rather have me display?" Serenity asked. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. "Just go away," Misako replied, "You've made your point, Mom, now just go. Please..." She wrapped the cold bitterness she felt around her like a blanket. "What about breakfast?" Serenity asked. Misako simply turned away from her and didn't answer. Misako thought as she fought against her tears. She heard her mother leave the room and when she was alone, she allowed her tears to flow freely. Making her way to her secret hiding place, she pulled out a small box and looked at the bronze medal she had won in the past. She had earned it on her own and was certain of that. No one had known she was a princess. It had simply been hard work that she'd put into training. Hanging the medal around her neck, Misako walked over to her bed and climbing up on it, hugged her teddy bear and cried herself to sleep. ****** While Serenity went to speak with Misako, Endymion and Usagi moved into the kitchen to make breakfast. While her father prepared the porridge, Usagi sat on the counter, an action that would be frowned upon in any other circumstance. Taking a sip of her juice, she mused, "Ne, Misako's actin' strange." Endymion glanced at her before saying, "How do you mean?" "She wouldn't have said any of that stuff," Usagi remarked, "Imouto would've just stayed quiet, maybe sulked a little, but I couldn't believe she'd yell at Mom like that. She never did that before..." At least not when she was around. "Hai. You're right, Usagi-chan," Endymion agreed. He gave a gusty sigh and said, "I don't think Misako wanted to hurt you." Usagi blinked in confusion. "Well I know how you get when Misako takes something you've done the wrong way." Usagi gave a soft smile and stated, "Misako and I are okay with each other. I have to stop stepping on her toes but I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings." She paused and added in a sad tone, "It was Mom." She really wanted to forgive her mother but if Miko continued on like she had been, there wouldn't be any hope in that. She hated to admit it but it was true and Serenity was their mom. Usagi had been a little taken aback when Misako came to her for things that Usagi had gone to her mother for. Draining her glass, she said, "Can I have some more juice please, Dad?" "Hai," Endymion said and gave his daughter a little more. "That's it?" Usagi whined, "Come on, Dad, I might be six but I ain't gonna wet the bed. Misako thinks this is silly too. We are really teenagers remember, just different body sizes." "You can have some more with your breakfast," Endymion compromised as he turned back to the porridge. Usagi grumbled a little but drank the juice. Setting the cup in the sink, she asked, "How do you do it, Dad?" Endymion's head snapped up and he stared at Usagi. She blushed a little bit and said, "Don't be ecchi! I'm didn't mean it like that!" Her blush deepened as Endymion's eyes narrowed. "I meant how do you manage to treat Misako and me the same? I promised myself I'd treat both my mesume the same but I was even worse than Mom..." Endymion chuckled a little in relief before replying, "Firstly, I'm just as guilty as your mother." Rumpling his daughter's hair, he added, "Secondly, you were a great mom and you tried your best. It's not an easy job being a parent." He then winked. Usagi giggled then asked, "Misako's your favorite, ne?" "Usagi-chan, I love you very much," Endymion said, "And I'll tell you what I told Misako. I promise to try and treat both of you equally when I can but I'm human and I sometimes think with my heart." He gave his daughter a quick hug which she returned, "But I want you to understand something else, you're Crown Princess and that adds a lot of pressure." "I know, Daddy," Usagi reassured him. "I just feel bad about thinking I could show you and Mom how to be good parents and then turn around and do exactly the same stuff Mom did or do some things that were even worse." "What was even worse?" Endymion asked as he started filling bowls with the porridge. Usagi shifted a little and said, "Well... there's no way Mom would've taken me to Court if I had ran away like you did." Her cheeks colored a little as she added in a guilty sounding voice, "Mom wouldn't have delegated punishing me to you either. She would've done it right then and there." Her face grew sober and she asked, "Dad, you think Mom's going to punish Misako?" She hoped not but... "Iie," Endymion answered as he lifted the little girl off the counter, "I think your mother's going to have a talk with Misako." Hearing a noise at the doorway, he looked up and saw Serenity standing there, a look of pain and defeat on her face. Without a word, he walked over and holding out his arms gathered his wife into his arms. "Oh Endymion..." Serenity said sadly. "Where's Misako???" Usagi asked, her high-pitched voice full of concern. "Usagi... Misako wants to be alone. I think we need to give her some space." "Come and eat breakfast, Usagi-chan," Endymion suggested while leading Serenity into the dining room, "We'll make sure to leave some for Misako when she comes out." Usagi didn't feel very hungry but at her parents' urging, she went to have breakfast anyway. ****** By midmorning, Serenity, Endymion, and Usagi were worried. Misako hadn't shown up for breakfast and when Endymion had gone to get her, she had locked herself in the bathroom and told him to go away. Usagi had given up all pretenses of trying to do her homework and instead, was nervously shifting in her chair and tapping her pencil against the table. Endymion was trying to appear as if he was reading the newspaper but his eyes were firmly fixed on the doorway. It was Serenity that broke the silence, "Endymion, this is ridiculous. I'm going to go and get that child." Pushing the cup of tea that she hadn't even touched away from her, she got up and headed for the doorway. "Serenity," Endymion began, "Don't be angry with her." "I'm not!" Serenity snapped sharply, "I'm angry at Pluto and the Senshi Council. I'm even angry at you but I'm down right furious with myself!" Serenity closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "Gomen... Gomen, Endymion, Small Lady." "We're all worried, Mom," Usagi chimed in. She wanted to ask her mother if she really was upset with Pluto, and why she would be upset with the Senshi Council. "Minna, I'm sorry if I made you worry. Gomen," came a small voice. Serenity turned while Endymion and Usagi stood up. Misako was standing in the doorway, dressed in her school fuku. "I needed time to think." Walking in, she gave both her sister and her father a bow and said, "Gomen nasai, I didn't mean to wake you up so early." Turning, she gave her mother a bow also; this was a little stiffer but just as deep as the others were. "Gomen nasai, Mom, I shouldn't have broken the picture and I'm sorry I yelled." "That's all right, Miko-chan. I can understand you being upset with me," Serenity remarked as she crouched down to look at her daughter, "You needed time to think?" "Hai," Misako chirped and then taking her hands from behind her back, she presented Serenity with a bronze gymnastics medal. "If you want to put something up, you can put this one up." Serenity looked at the bronze medal and then back at her daughter. Turning it over in her hands, Serenity read the inscription on it. She looked down at its pristine surface that almost seemed to glow with reflected light. "Wouldn't you like that gold medal? I think it's the first one you got..." "Iie," Misako interrupted, "If you want to put something up, Mom, you can put that one up. If not, just give it back." Misako sounded like it didn't matter one way or the other. "Ne, that's the medal you got in the past," Usagi commented. Misako gave her a bright smile. "Can I have the picture too?" When Misako handed her the crumpled picture, Serenity said, "Arigato. We're okay then, ne?" And she was furious with herself for not knowing why. She certainly had enough good memories of Chibi... Usagi. Misako looked like she was about to give a snort but instead explained, "I just realized sulking about it won't change anything... I wasn't ever going to make the Nationals. I understand you were concerned about me; that doesn't mean I have to like it or agree with it, ne?" "Come here, Usagi-chan," Serenity said and held out her hand for her small daughter. Usagi slid from her chair and her mother guided her around to stand beside Misako. "Now, I want you both to understand something. I think even this will go for your father but I'll just speak for myself." Both girls looked at each other before looking at their mother curiously. "I'll try to talk about decisions that effect you but sometimes, I'll make decisions that you don't like. I've told Misako that I handled the gymnastics thing badly but that I would still make her give it up. It's too late now to work out some type of compromise and I'm sorry I did it the way that I did." "What's the point?" Usagi asked, "I don't want to be rude, Mom, but I don't know what you're trying to get at." Serenity smiled a little and explained, "What I'm trying to say is that I just want you to understand the decisions I have to make about you sometimes. I always have your best interests in mind. I'm not looking for you to like my decisions or agree with them just as long as you understand why I made them." Standing, she held out her hand and said, "Come on, Miko-chan, time for breakfast and then you have some schoolwork to do." "Hai," Misako agreed. After a long moment, in which she stared at her sister thoughtfully, Misako took Serenity's hand and allowed herself to be led into the kitchen. Usagi watched her sister worriedly though; Misako was just too nonchalant about that medal. End of Chapter 12 Coming next in Chapter 13 - Zeroing In